What do you focus on in your second draft?

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Mimic Fox
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What do you focus on in your second draft?

#1 Post by Mimic Fox »

I've finished the first draft of my VN and now I'm feeling a little lost with what to focus on with my second draft. Besides obvious things like fixing grammar and making things a little more concise.

In general, what would you say makes your second draft better than the first?
Last edited by Mimic Fox on Tue Jan 19, 2021 7:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: What do you focus on your second draft?

#2 Post by fleet »

Filling holes in the plot.
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Re: What do you focus on in your second draft?

#3 Post by Autumnotopia »

Generally on the second pass, I'm looking for scenes that don't feel like they work. If I'm not excited about a scene, I try to cut it and replace it with something that has the same purpose but I feel more of a connection to. Additionally, I start thinking about places I can drop foreshadowing. If there's a bit that seems rushed or out of nowhere later in the story, I try to go back and inject hints about it earlier.

Also, since I often write on a project that has other people, it's a good time to have others read through it and get notes from people. See if stuff is conveyed in the way you meant - I ended up with a scene that had a character being kind of callous where he wasn't supposed to be. Time to reevaluate what happened and make sure he comes off as more empathetic this time, etc.
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Re: What do you focus on in your second draft?

#4 Post by Inksword »

I like to do edits big to small. Each of these steps don't necessarily get a whole draft of their own, but it's the order I like to do them in.

1. Large structural changes. Filling plotholes, cutting or adding subplots, etc.
2. Scene changes. Adding/subtracting scenes, changing the overall flow of them.
3. Paragraph changes, usually split between scene draft and sentence structure draft.
4. Sentence structure and word choice.
5. Typos and grammar.

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Re: What do you focus on in your second draft?

#5 Post by JenivereDomino »

One thing that's probably worth doing is to have one or two people who don't know anything about your story read it through to give you some feedback. This will help you know if your story is coming across as you intend it to and if it includes all the right information and pacing to make it work for the reader.

I'd also caution against making things too concise, if anything there are often times where adding more detail and more words can be more beneficial given that the reading is a large part of the experience. Don't be afraid to repeat yourself a little too, if you drop 3 subtle hints to a plot point then a reader might pick up on one of them the first time through. It's the D&D logic of give your players more than they need, and they'll generally pick up on just enough to get what you need them to. If you leave things too sparse it risks not giving enough description for your characters and world to feel real, and potentially for the pacing to move too fast.

It really depends on what you have right now and what your intentions are in terms of length, complexity, and so forth. But generally having an outsider look at it may give you insights you may otherwise miss.

NB, I'm not an experienced VN writer, but this is what I'm learning the hard way from feedback on my first project (which is admittedly somewhat ambitious), and my first draft of the first few chapters moved too fast. I needed to put in more of the protagonist perspective, and give more time for each plot point to develop before dashing on to the next big thing.
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Re: What do you focus on in your second draft?

#6 Post by jdhthegr8 »

During my first draft I'm just trying to write a complete script, with little to no regard to differences between character voices, speech mannerisms, elements of the environment and small character actions unrelated to advancing the scene, as well as some of my own poor writing habits (like repeating certain words too often). The second draft is when I begin to work on that. I usually focus on one or two of those in each draft, and nitpick other things as I come to them.

To show what this actually looks like in action for me, here are a few snippets which show how my script evolves between the first and second complete drafts:

Adding environmental detail:
1. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/ ... nknown.png
2. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/ ... nknown.png


Rephrasing for character voices and mannerisms:
3. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/ ... nknown.png
4. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/ ... nknown.png

Adding a bit of both:
5. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/ ... nknown.png

Then again, as mentioned by Inksword there are sometimes cases where large revisions are decided upon in a second draft. One example for me was when I changed my opening scene to be from a limited omniscient third person perspective to a first person one instead. Before I'd even finished doing that I decided "actually, let's write the scene from this other character's perspective instead". What followed basically amounted to writing a whole new first draft. Hopefully you don't have to do that a lot, but it will definitely happen at least occasionally if you're putting a lot of thought into how your scenes actually connect

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Re: What do you focus on in your second draft?

#7 Post by Rikkertje-Dap »

When I'm done with my first draft, I leave it to rest for at least a few days before I start to work on the second draft. This way you can look at your story with a fresh pair of eyes, which makes it easier to spot plot holes, scenes that don’t work, pacing issues and what not. These are all thing I tend to focus on while rewriting my stories.

During your first draft you’ve accumulated all the pieces of the puzzle, during your second draft you shift those pieces around to get the picture right.

I start my third draft almost immediately after the second draft, by reading it aloud and adjusting the text and dialogue to make it both a pleasure to read and a pleasure to listen to if it will ever be performed by a voice actor.

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Re: What do you focus on in your second draft?

#8 Post by inky-brigitte »

Summarize the plot and analyze it.
I usually ask myself:
  • What is the moral of the story?
  • Does the story qualify for its genre?
  • What are the plot holes?
  • What do I need to change to improve it?
My 1st draft is usually a textwall that doesn't make much senses. I want it to be concrete, and make a valid point. These questions help me pinpoint what needs to be fixed.


Add, remove or rearrange scenes.
This is self-explanatory. A small change in scenes could change the outcome.


Input into script.rpy and launch. Experience and evaluate.
The story may seem great in a Word files, but they are very different in a VN setting. Therefore, I pick 1-2 chapters from the draft and start programming. Doing this gives me a realistic reader experience. The downside is, it's time-consuming.

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Re: What do you focus on in your second draft?

#9 Post by droo_radley »

A lot of times in your first draft, you still didn't really understand the essence of your story and you're just writing here and there in an effort to find something that works.

By the time your first draft is done, you should have a clearer idea of what your story is truly about. Who is the most interesting character? What is the most compelling story arc? Which characters work so well together and which don't.

This takes guts, but at this point you can also decide which characters are NOT NECESSARY. Who do they contribute to the story, and can some other character do the same thing? If so, composite the characters together. Give the one good line this character has to someone else.

Same with scenes. If there are scenes that aren't working that well, can their purpose be fulfilled elsewhere? You need to show that someone found a magic box, but the discovery scene slows down the pace too much? Well, take out the scene, and put in an expositionary line in another scene declaring that the magic box has been found.

Really, the second draft is about cutting out all the stuff that isn't necessary so that you can focus on the really real story. And you can replace those scenes with scenes that contribute more to the really real story. By story, I don't mean what happens. I mean what you are trying to tell your reader.
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Re: What do you focus on in your second draft?

#10 Post by phantmoftheomsi »

I usually focus on anything that takes me out of the story, like dialogue that feels forced, repetitive story beats, exposition dumps, or plot developments that amount to low-hanging fruit. I usually can't do this effectively without a break between drafts, typically a few weeks or months.

My most common revisions are to bad dialogue, and normally the problem is a character without clear motivation. It's like they're speaking to fill the silence rather than expressing their desires and moving the story forward. Sometimes I've had to eliminate entire characters this way because I realized they were only around to add flavor and they story would not notice their absence.

I've also recognized a habit where I introduce side character early on and they just fade away, so I seek out opportunities to bring them back in a way that further's the plot, usually by consolidating them with a side character who appears later in the story. This makes for satisfying storytelling, because the audience likes a good throwback.

My biggest challenge in revising been finishing the first draft before starting second-draft revisions. I've failed to complete so many stories because I got stuck in the revision feedback loop and kept starting over before getting to the end. But I've learned it is insanely valuable to crank out Draft 1 in all it's word-vomit glory, because you don't know what's missing until you know what's already there.

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Re: What do you focus on in your second draft?

#11 Post by Imbion »

It depends on your writing process. I prefer to get words on the page without concern for continuity, consistency, and direct purpose. Because the first draft is effectively the creation of my raw ingredients, it tends to come out as very rough.

My first target will be to clean up continuity. Sometimes I will be working with two contradicting facts at a time, or perhaps more than that. I do generally have a sense where there's a contradiction, but I leave it for later because I don't always decide what I want until I'm done. Second draft is when I find those, mark them, and pick where I'm actually going.

Second is leaving unneeded things on the cutting room floor. When you're creating a longer story you'll tend to find a lot of redundant information, or plot hooks that ended up leaving nowhere, or things that don't really equate to anything. Generally longer isn't better, even if it can seem like that. What helps me figure that out is to know where plot threads weave in and out, and the general stucture of things and how it functions.

Finally, I read over things again and see if anything else comes to mind.

Generally, there's no "right" way to do a second draft. It's highly dependent on your own writing style and whenever you prefer to plan or come up with the story along the way.

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