Can someone give me feedbacks for my animation?

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leviathanimation
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Can someone give me feedbacks for my animation?

#1 Post by leviathanimation »

I made an animation and got like, 0 feedbacks, which I need so that I can improve. Feel free to say anything about the style or coloring, etc. :)

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Zylinder
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Re: Can someone give me feedbacks for my animation?

#2 Post by Zylinder »

I saw this a few days ago and was really impressed by the quality. It's got a very cinematic feeling to it. Though a couple of things that stood out to me was:

The values are muddy, in that your subject (characters or tanks) blend into the background because they're of similar values. Here, I added a big of fog to lighten up the BG and differentiate your tanks from the BG to make the silhouette and movement (in your actual animation) more obvious.

Image

The movement of the missile around the 30s mark also strikes me as peculiar. I think the correct movement may be something like this:

https://youtu.be/dGLgZ8htLI4?t=1m40s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxgiBJATe9M

If it's carpet bombing, I think it drops straight down before the plane outstrips it. If it's a missile that then moves towards a target, it would drop straight down for a couple of seconds before launching itself at a target (with accompanying flares from its back end). As it is, it lacks weight.

If we're talking about the overall trailer itself, it'll benefit from a voiceover or interspersed text, because as it is the trailer isn't telling a story. The animation is good, but I'm not sure what the logline (story summary) of it is. There's clearly some kind of war going on, but who's in the war? Who's the enemy? They don't look like good people (since they're all dressed in black and look fierce) so if they're villains, who's the protagonist that will fight them? Without an accompanying post I wouldn't be able to figure it out from the trailer. Adding a couple of standard 'words in the middle' slides, like a powerpoint presentation will help explain your story.

I hope that makes sense/helps ^A^

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Re: Can someone give me feedbacks for my animation?

#3 Post by Scribbles »

the walking animation in the first part is very stiff and goes by oddly fast, the tanks, boats and so on look really good though. when the parachutes/bombs drop it's too timed and mechanical, realistically they wouldn't be so precise. The talking on the characters seemed alright, just their movements were stiff and somewhat unnatural. And again, all the tech/tanks/guns looked really great though. you even had a bit of kickback when they shot which was good. It wasn't bad by any means! but there are some areas you can improve on to make your animation even better (as I stated above)
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Re: Can someone give me feedbacks for my animation?

#4 Post by Errilhl »

Okay, I'm no animator, but some comments:

(First, I would just say that if I saw this animation in an indie-game, I would not even remark on it - it would be very good. If I saw it in a commercial, better funded game, I would think... well, they skimped. And if I saw it in an anime, from the last 10-15 years, I would call it bad).

That out of the way, here are some points (some are covered by others above):

1. The marching troops - way too fast. You should consider reducing the speed to more in sync with actual marching - watch a few videos, there is an actual pace to marching.
2. While I do like the quality of the vehicles, there are some issues, among them that you're clearly using multiples of the exact same sprite. While that doesn't matter that much with tanks and bombers, when it comes to a fleet... it looks ridiculous. Especially when the ship you're using is a frigate / cruiser of some sort - there are always, and I mean always, support ships, and never, and I mean never, that many of that kind of vessel in a fleet. Especially not that close together - they're expensive, relatively rare, costly to run, and they will normally be the flagship of a flotilla, or an entire fleet. You should definitely try to add different ships, make it a bit more natural.
3. The bombs falling, and the paratroopers, are too mechanical - it's of course a loop, but you should rather have a little difference in timing. For instance, for the bombers, it looks like there's always bombs in the exact same place below the plane (cutoff from edge of video) - it doesn't look good. Same for the paratroopers, they're jumping in an exact line. Just... no. Wait They ARE paratroopers, right? Actual people? Not just some weapon with a parachute? Because if they are people, you need to change those planes. Those are fighter planes... not troop transports.

Okay, that was the worst of it. There are some other issues, like tanks moving sort of "flat" over uneven terrain, and a bit stiff movement on stuff. At 0:15 into the video, you have some AA-guns firing - you should try to make the standoffs/feet not move - right now, they're sliding over the ground. Just the cannon itself moves, not the platform.

I like the style, and I like the overall feel, and the music is fitting - it's definitely not all bad, or anything like that, I'm just talking about stuff that shouldn't be too hard to fix, really, but will give it a more natural look.
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leviathanimation
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Re: Can someone give me feedbacks for my animation?

#5 Post by leviathanimation »

Zylinder wrote: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:12 am I saw this a few days ago and was really impressed by the quality. It's got a very cinematic feeling to it. Though a couple of things that stood out to me was:

The values are muddy, in that your subject (characters or tanks) blend into the background because they're of similar values. Here, I added a big of fog to lighten up the BG and differentiate your tanks from the BG to make the silhouette and movement (in your actual animation) more obvious.

Image

The movement of the missile around the 30s mark also strikes me as peculiar. I think the correct movement may be something like this:

https://youtu.be/dGLgZ8htLI4?t=1m40s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxgiBJATe9M

If it's carpet bombing, I think it drops straight down before the plane outstrips it. If it's a missile that then moves towards a target, it would drop straight down for a couple of seconds before launching itself at a target (with accompanying flares from its back end). As it is, it lacks weight.

If we're talking about the overall trailer itself, it'll benefit from a voiceover or interspersed text, because as it is the trailer isn't telling a story. The animation is good, but I'm not sure what the logline (story summary) of it is. There's clearly some kind of war going on, but who's in the war? Who's the enemy? They don't look like good people (since they're all dressed in black and look fierce) so if they're villains, who's the protagonist that will fight them? Without an accompanying post I wouldn't be able to figure it out from the trailer. Adding a couple of standard 'words in the middle' slides, like a powerpoint presentation will help explain your story.

I hope that makes sense/helps ^A^
o_o HOLY THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!! I think I understand your point concerning the logline, and I will definitely do better next time :) I also like how you got into the details of the physics behind the B-52, truly, you are an amazing person :D
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Re: Can someone give me feedbacks for my animation?

#6 Post by leviathanimation »

Scribbles wrote: Thu Nov 30, 2017 11:13 am the walking animation in the first part is very stiff and goes by oddly fast, the tanks, boats and so on look really good though. when the parachutes/bombs drop it's too timed and mechanical, realistically they wouldn't be so precise. The talking on the characters seemed alright, just their movements were stiff and somewhat unnatural. And again, all the tech/tanks/guns looked really great though. you even had a bit of kickback when they shot which was good. It wasn't bad by any means! but there are some areas you can improve on to make your animation even better (as I stated above)
Thank you very much for your feedbacks! I agree that the walking wasn't realistic so I'll figure something out :)
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leviathanimation
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Re: Can someone give me feedbacks for my animation?

#7 Post by leviathanimation »

Errilhl wrote: Thu Nov 30, 2017 12:56 pm Okay, I'm no animator, but some comments:

(First, I would just say that if I saw this animation in an indie-game, I would not even remark on it - it would be very good. If I saw it in a commercial, better funded game, I would think... well, they skimped. And if I saw it in an anime, from the last 10-15 years, I would call it bad).

That out of the way, here are some points (some are covered by others above):

1. The marching troops - way too fast. You should consider reducing the speed to more in sync with actual marching - watch a few videos, there is an actual pace to marching.
2. While I do like the quality of the vehicles, there are some issues, among them that you're clearly using multiples of the exact same sprite. While that doesn't matter that much with tanks and bombers, when it comes to a fleet... it looks ridiculous. Especially when the ship you're using is a frigate / cruiser of some sort - there are always, and I mean always, support ships, and never, and I mean never, that many of that kind of vessel in a fleet. Especially not that close together - they're expensive, relatively rare, costly to run, and they will normally be the flagship of a flotilla, or an entire fleet. You should definitely try to add different ships, make it a bit more natural.
3. The bombs falling, and the paratroopers, are too mechanical - it's of course a loop, but you should rather have a little difference in timing. For instance, for the bombers, it looks like there's always bombs in the exact same place below the plane (cutoff from edge of video) - it doesn't look good. Same for the paratroopers, they're jumping in an exact line. Just... no. Wait They ARE paratroopers, right? Actual people? Not just some weapon with a parachute? Because if they are people, you need to change those planes. Those are fighter planes... not troop transports.

Okay, that was the worst of it. There are some other issues, like tanks moving sort of "flat" over uneven terrain, and a bit stiff movement on stuff. At 0:15 into the video, you have some AA-guns firing - you should try to make the standoffs/feet not move - right now, they're sliding over the ground. Just the cannon itself moves, not the platform.

I like the style, and I like the overall feel, and the music is fitting - it's definitely not all bad, or anything like that, I'm just talking about stuff that shouldn't be too hard to fix, really, but will give it a more natural look.
Your critic was helpful! To be honest, I didn't had that much time to draw aircraft carriers and other ships, which I really wanted to :(
for the rest, I'll try to fix it in my next animations. For the paratrooper planes, I'm pretty sure it's a troop transport aircraft?
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Re: Can someone give me feedbacks for my animation?

#8 Post by Errilhl »

leviathanimation wrote: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm Your critic was helpful! To be honest, I didn't had that much time to draw aircraft carriers and other ships, which I really wanted to :(
for the rest, I'll try to fix it in my next animations. For the paratrooper planes, I'm pretty sure it's a troop transport aircraft?
I'm thinking the troop transport / paratrooper planes are not troop transport ;)

Take a look here (at the image-section, if it doesn't auto-load): https://www.google.no/search?q=troop+tr ... 80&bih=700

Troop transports are normally not V-shaped wings, but bulkier. Not very important, I'm nitpicking.
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