Farewell, Bunny Boy : A Visual Novel by @oppibella
A short story about a cute bunny town far away from the rest of the world around them, and a cute bunny boy wanting to experience more.
He leaves behind his calm life and loved ones for one of mystery and adventure.
Made in Ren’Py for March 2015’s NaNoReNo Visual Novel Jam, where VNs are made in the complete month of March!
In the future, more chapters in the story will become available!
Current Chapter: ~Chapter Two: The Forest~
Creating this VN was a great learning experience in making a story become real.
I really couldn't have finished the VN without the help of my friends, so in a way it's for them too.
~Thank you and please enjoy the VN!~
Last edited by oppibella on Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:50 am, edited 2 times in total.
I think you'll benefit from finding a skilled editor. The text is riddled with problems, including lots of sentence fragments, but for a first project, this was still a good effort.
I'm definitely looking forward to reading about Bunny Boy's adventures outside of Peachberry!
I'm an aspiring writer and voice talent with a passion for literature and an unhealthy attachment to video games. I am also a seasoned typo-sniper. Inquiries are encouraged. Friendly chats are welcome.
"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
— Mark Twain
Mad Harlequin wrote:I think you'll benefit from finding a skilled editor. The text is riddled with problems, including lots of sentence fragments, but for a first project, this was still a good effort.
I'm definitely looking forward to reading about Bunny Boy's adventures outside of Peachberry!
Ahh thank you!! Ah yes I do need to find someone who is much better at grammar than I am ^o^; In the next installment I will make sure I have like, 3 friends double check for me!!!! Gotta have good writings! Thank you again for the suggestion, I'll make sure that it's improved! <3
Congrats on your first project! It's amazingly adorable! I wonder what will happen next and what awaits the bunny boy beyond the forest. /O/
I did find the text a liiiittle bit hard to follow though. I don't think my mind quite liked the fragmented sentences and constant pauses, probably because not many games do that and I kept going back to the beginning of the line, thinking it's a new sentence when it wasn't. |D I think it would be much more fluid to read and follow if you use that more sparingly.
Still- your art is so nice and cute!!! And bunny characters are always awesome~
Good luck with making the rest of the story!
Games: Zayay[Otome?][BxPlayer][NaNo 2013] Tortichki [Drag&Drop mini game]
Other games I've worked on: ●MyHeart'sFlame●EmissaryofStarlight●FreedomFromSilence●Sickness Andmanymoreunannounced/secretprojects.╮(.❛ᴗ❛.)╭
There were a few coding glitches in this (such as narration showing up as being from Lucian), and one of the music tracks was a little unsettling (the first one that plays after the menu), as well as the aforementioned notes about sentence fragments.
That said! This was super cute! And I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens outside of the forest!
