Runaway [Slice of Life? / Horror?] [NaNo '16]

[Purrine]

Runaway

Characters

Eku Shillelagh - 16 year old mountain wolf folk girl
A rash and husky teenager who has just ran away from home.

Cest - 10 year old wolf folk girl
Eku found her lying unconscious in the mountain woods... Is she okay?

Story

Eku, a runty little wolf folk girl who brashly ran away from her home gets lost in the expansive and snowy woods of Hammer Mountain. She finds a fellow wolf who seems hurt, and despite her better judgement, tries to take her into her care. A mighty blizzard makes the path back home impassible, so Eku must find refuge and care for her companion in the dangerous woods, known to be home to several creatures that are hostile to the wolf folk.

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Sorry to be so succinct, but I wanted to at least get this basic premise with a picture down before heading off to school and then bed... - ^-
Hopefully I can edit this later with more information, but I've wanted to do something like this for a while, just a simple little story with some environmental trials, or something like that...
Emphasis on little story. Maybe the premise is too simple.

I have no previous experience making any sort of visual novel, and I don't know what sort of genre this will even become, or if it would even qualify as a "visual novel", but we'll see, I suppose. I planned to do everything myself, since I'm kind of a control freak, but I've also never successfully completed any project like this before, either. I hope I can at least get a demo out for this event.

Thank you for taking your time to read this little spiel. If you have any criticisms or advice or questions that would be gladly welcomed!
I hope this is not too premature...

[Alcor]

Hey, I think it's looking good! I don't think there's anything wrong with having a simple story premise, and maybe your story isn't even as simple as that! You haven't mentioned anything about horror, really, so I'm curious to see how this develops.

Also, your art is super cute! I'm loving the character designs <3

Best of luck with NaNo, and highfive from a fellow solo NaNo attempter!

[Ghost of Crux]

AH. THIS LOOKS SO ADORABLE.
I'll probably be horrified once I get to the horror parts
I love stories like these and the fact that they're all wolf folk sound really interesting. It makes me curious of what that might imply.

There's no "too simple" in projects. You already are writing a story with a clear problem and a clear solution, so that's already good enough! Not to mention that there is a term for a VN without choices-- a kinetic novel. So.

Good luck! I hope to see this finished o v o

[Amy_oai]

The art looks really cute and the story also sounds really interesting!
Can't wait to see how this story will look all put together

[Elyeon]

I always get nervous when I see adorable characters mixed with horror. Not that it's a bad thing, because it's in fact a great thing as it is one of the few things that actually makes me feel scared haha! *cough Mogeko Castle cough*
All I can hope is nothing too horrible will happen to these two ;ㅅ;

That said, I'm definitely intrigued about your VN when I've read the story premise! Despite there's not much to go on with the characters, I'm already attached to them and want to learn more about them! Especially their reason for running away/being unconscious in the first place.

And don't sweat too much if this is your first at making visual novels! Nano can be a great opportunity for first-timers as it pushes them to see how far they can accomplish within a month. I wish you good luck, and I hope you have fun throughout March!

[killdream]

The art looks so adorable and cute and

Ahem, *back into not-fangirling mode*, I think the premise is okay, really. Simple is good, too.

Maybe the only advice I'd give is: keep it to a reasonable size/list of features. It sounds easy, but it's actually pretty hard to stop yourself from adding things :'D
Don't worry much about game genres and stuff though, people are always mixing and matching different things, and that makes them interesting. Good luck with your game :3

[MimirollCookie]

The art looks cute..

[Fox Lee]

A simple story is perfect for NaNoRenO, and for your first VN. I think you're absolutely on the right track, and your art is adorable! And there's absolutely nothing wrong with having no choices in your story, so don't sorry about that. Be confident and tell the story you want to tell (which looks lovely :3)

[Miyuu]

This actually intrigues me. The conflict is present already, so you just have to expand it. I like the premise so far. Good luck with the project!

[Purrine]

Thank you all so much for your kind words everyone!! It's actually making me feel like this is possible, even though it might not be for me. :V

I don't have much VN to show yet but getting stuff set up for things that might be a problem later... Have you heard about timed hits?
( Is it inappropriate to show stuff like this in threads? It's really basic, but I'm proud I got it working, since I don't have much free time with school :< )

I'm still trying to figure the entire conflict and story out, but I have whipped up a little bit of a 'bad ending' so far that I could use some people to read it, if they don't mind being a little spoiled? Just to be sure my writing isn't too... terrible? For this sort of thing?

I only ask cause writing is definitely not one of my strongsuits, it's easily gonna be the most difficult portion of this


sorry for wasting everyones time.

[Elyeon]

Ohhh that's an interesting feature to have for your VN! It definitely creates a sense of urgency for the player to choose (wisely!) when facing a dangerous situation. Which seems ideal, considering the story sets in a secluded environment.

I've read the script you linked (and oh dear my worst fear came true for these two cries) and I think it's a good start for a draft! There's some mistakes in it like jumping from past to present tense and vice versa, grammar, and sentences that could be rearranged or worded differently to make it more understandable.

If you're not confident with your writing then is it possible to have a friend or a family member proofread/edit your work?

[MimirollCookie]

Really like the art. Too bad it's horror, so no no no no no.
Horror would give me nightmares in my sleep so good luck though.

[Hi.In.Ni]

This is really interesting! Super innovative for a VN too! I actually like a lot the fact that it doesn't fit the canon! So what if it's not an otome with lots of dating options? Surviving a blizzard is hard enough!

After reading the spoilers:
Okay, I like it A LOT. Really. I think it's a little sad that it's actually focused towards the bad endings. There s so much efford put into those while it feels like winning is just "do this this and this and you got yourself a good ending". Maybe there's too many endings. If you really want all those bad ends to give player feels, that's okay, but how about making all the good endings into one single "True Happy Ending". It will probably be too much work to develop lots of good endings depending on the combo of choices the player makes, and I feel like a general "Thank you so much for saving me" emotional ending would hit the hearts and feels more than a lot of small good endings.

Side Comment: I just finished my degree in videogame developement, and I'm really good at finding loopholes in story, character and design, and also providing solutions. I'm like a beta tester but for design instead of mechanics, haha.
If you need any review or feedback with the script, lore or whatever, be sure to message me because I'd love to help you with this project.

[Shadow Wolfwind]

Sounds cute. I love wolves (if that wasn't obvious) and horror.

I also like timed choices. It adds more tension.

[Purrine]

Hey here's a demo with a lot of placeholder graphics and incomplete GUI but I'm interested to know if this pacing is too grating. I'm using pauses a lot and I'm a little concerned. Also I'm probably only going to be able to maybe get out a demo that only has day one in it at this rate. School got really busy quite fast - ^-

Also I used a custom font and I don't know if I properly put it inside the game so everyone could use it without downloading it separately.

(Also is this kind of thing allowed??? showing incomplete work like this??)