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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 7:42 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2016 10:48 pm
Posts: 40
Projects: Unichan (NanoReno), Keylocker
Twitter: @umiloo
Tumblr: umiloo
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◸ Unichan is a comedy kinect novel, set in a dreamy/fantasy like place about a girl who meets a talkative merry-go-round unicorn who wants to be freed from his duty in the amusement park and learn the secrets of flying. ◹

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Download the demo here!

♦ Duration of +- 55 min.
♦ +- 19,000 words.
♦ Chibi scenes.
♦ 3 CGs.
♦ Original soundtrack.
♦ 11 backgrounds.

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◸ As soon as Melusine turns 10, her mother let her go to the amusement park near her house for the first time. Fable Realm, as it's called, however, reveals to have very special features, such as their personal alive merry-go-round unicorn that talks a lot! Melusine develops a friendship with him, and the unicorn reveals to her his ultimate dream: he wants to fly. ◹

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Melusine, the girl named on a kind of european mermaid, never liked her name. Kids always made fun of her, since she liked to sing, but she sang very badly. The kids in school would say to her that she could just send the sailors away with her voice, instead of attracting them. Considering those events, Melusine never sang again. But the dream lies in her still, so she always dressed like a little fairy, or princess, so she could feel special, despite her name issue. One day, dressed in her favorite manner, with little wings, she dashed to the amusement park near her house, only to know that they had their own talkative and alive unicorn in the merry-go-round. She felt so excited that she lied to him. Many times. She said that she, indeed, knew how to fly, and that she would show him how. She just didn't know how... Yet!


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Sir Little Popcorn Basket, the Third: He is the third of his name to fulfill the duty of a merry-go-round unicorn. His father before him did his current job, and now, he lets kids ride onto his back, while keeping his mouth shut so they don't know that he is in fact alive. And very talkatively alive. Although he lives his life like this, his desires go against those of his family. He wants to break free from the bonds (more likely, the "pole") that seize him to the merry-go-round life. He sees the light at the end of the tunnel in form of a little girl who has wings. All that he knew is that when someone has wings, they know how to fly, so he took the hint and believed again in his dream. He would finally learn with this girl!


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Mysteeeerious character.

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❥ We're Umiloo Studios and this is our first game ever. We don't have previous experience with VNs and any other games (or storytelling), so please, be kind to us <3 You can check our devlog and other projects on twitter & tumblr but the twitter page receive more updates!

Nana - Scriptwriter, GUI artist, project manager;
Anglerman - CG artist, sprites, backgrounds, chibi scenes;
Sandslash - Ren'py Programmer, gui coding;

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Music - Doodled, Ashley Kampta;
Proof-Readers - Miyu & violetwhispers;
Beta-tester - MochiMagus & Marionette;

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Outline: 100%
Writing: 70%
Gui: 90%
Logo: 100%
Sprites: 70%
Expressions: 10%
Backgrounds: 80%
CGs: 0%
Chibi Scenes: 20%
Music: 33% (we'll include some royalty free songs, if our composers can't manage to do all on time.
We already have a set ready for the worst case scenarios xD)
Coding: 30% (still waiting for the assets!)
SFX: We are planning on incluiding some SFX,
although we don't really know how to do it?


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► Do you like the concept of the story?
► What are your thoughts on the characters?
► Would you be interested in a longer version of the game with possible routes?
► What are your suggestions regarding the script?
► What are your suggestions regarding the art?
► Any critique? Questions?


Attachments:
File comment: The main menu GUI is finished! We plan to finish the whole GUI along the week.
main_menu_ground3.png
main_menu_ground3.png [ 257.12 KiB | Viewed 1458 times ]

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 7:52 pm 
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Twitter: @Lodratio
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Soundcloud: miratio
Hehehe. :lol: Your artstyle is pretty cool. Reminds me of the witch labyrinths in Madoka a little. Good luck with your project!

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 8:46 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2016 10:48 pm
Posts: 40
Projects: Unichan (NanoReno), Keylocker
Twitter: @umiloo
Tumblr: umiloo
Lodratio wrote:
Hehehe. :lol: Your artstyle is pretty cool. Reminds me of the witch labyrinths in Madoka a little. Good luck with your project!


Thank you! I posted by accident and them edited, now the story and all the details are there, so please take your time! xD

I love Madoka, so maybe I could've influenced the artist a little bit. :lol:

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 9:20 pm 
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Posts: 725
Location: A place where rainbows and unicorns collide. ^0^
Completed: Best Friends (DRAMA), Sweet and Spices (NaNo16)
Projects: Cupid's Wish, Best Friends Deux
Organization: Pastelle Studios
Deviantart: MimirollCookie
Looking forward to it specially cause it's comedy! :D


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 9:25 pm 
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Twitter: @Weenily
Tumblr: Weenily
► Do you like the concept of the story?
I ADORE IT. This is honestly my favorite kind of story and I was just smiling the entire time I read the game description. The story is so cute and original and I'm really hoping that both Melusine and Sir Little Popcorn Basket the Third will be able to reach their dreams. It feels a lot like a cute and quirky picture book and I cannot wait to play it.

► What are your thoughts on the characters?
Fantastic. I love these characters so much already and I haven't even played it yet. Melusine's problems feel very relatable for kids that age and I love her fashion taste! I'm interested in seeing how Melusine's lies will come back to bite her if she ever gets found out or how she'll actually find a way to fly! Sir Little Popcorn Basket the Third has my full respect. So much that I will consistently use his full name, which I also love. He's absolutely precious gosh I absolutely love the part in his description where it was like "All that Sir knew is that when someone has wings, they know how to fly"

► Would you be interested in a longer version of the game with possible routes?
A million times yes! Although I'm totally fine with it being a kinetic VN I'm interested in all the other places this story and these characters could go.

► What are your suggestions regarding the script?
There are some mistakes in the grammar but I see you have proofreaders so it'll be fine! I love the way the characters are described nonetheless, it's very fitting for this story. Suggestions for the actual script though hmmm... I'd like to know more about Sir Little Popcorn Basket the Third. Like where did he and his predecessors get their name? Melusine just being an interesting kid haha. I'd also like to see Sir Little Popcorn Basket the Third and Melusine singing together! Maybe put some puns in the script.

► What are your suggestions regarding the art?
I really, really love the art! The style is distinct and it has this traditional pastel feel. I love the colors the artist uses! It's so fresh and interesting to look at. The logo is so cute and magical. The designs are also very lovely! My one suggestion would be maybe making Melusine's wings visible on her sprite? Otherwise, she looks perfect to me! Sir Little Popcorn Basket the Third has a wonderful design too and just the cutest color scheme. I'm so curious about that other character on the stilts with the tomato hat! It's such a cute and creative design.

► Any critique? Questions?
None so far! Good luck on your project I'm really excited for when your team finishes!

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 10:12 pm 
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Joined: Sat Dec 12, 2009 1:38 pm
Posts: 527
Location: In a jar with pirañas
Completed: Stormy Night /The Knife of the Traitor/Charlatans
Projects: The Hurtful Wall /_Salomon/Infurubia
Twitter: @wacamoleonfire
Tumblr: notttt-che
itch.io: chegovia
Both the art and the whole concept of the game is too cute :A:
Hope you got to finish it! Good luck :D!

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+Charlatans(Nanoreno 2015)

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 12:24 am 
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Completed: House of Dolls
Projects: Lads in Distress - Nano'16
Deviantart: Lesleigh63
It looks really cute.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 12:59 am 
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Joined: Mon Apr 27, 2015 12:17 am
Posts: 484
Location: Indonesia
Projects: To Weave A Thread, Kinghearth
Organization: UNICORSITY
Twitter: @ghostofcrux
Tumblr: unicorsity
itch.io: namio
► Do you like the concept of the story?
THIS CONCEPT MAKES ME FEEL THE FUZZINESS IN MY HEART THAT I HAVE NEVER FELT IN YEARS

► What are your thoughts on the characters?
points as signature
I LOVE THEM. They're just... I don't know. The sweetest things alive.

► Would you be interested in a longer version of the game with possible routes?
Sure, yes!

► What are your suggestions regarding the script?
I don't know-- I kind of imagine this to be a bit on the innocent, almost children's book style?

► What are your suggestions regarding the art?
NOTHING. IT'S PERFECT.

► Any critique? Questions?
more unicorns

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 6:02 am 
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Posts: 138
Location: UK
Projects: The Lighthouse (NaNoReNo14)
Organization: Starship ★ Palindrome
I love the painty style of this and that tomato-cat-stilt-witch is both mysterious and wonderful. It sounds like a really cute story!

► Do you like the concept of the story?
Yes! It seems sweet and fun.

► What are your thoughts on the characters?
I feel bad for Melusine, I hope she gets her singing confidence back. Sir Little Popcorn Basket, the third is both majestic and adorable. THAT CAT THOUGH.

► Would you be interested in a longer version of the game with possible routes?
Yep.

► What are your suggestions regarding the script?
Tell the story only you can tell. There are a few errors in the post but you have a proof reader so that will be fine. But mostly, I want to read the story you want to make, rather than you trying to make one to tick people's usual preferences because that's how we get interesting and new experiences :)

► What are your suggestions regarding the art?
It's already gorgeous. Maybe take care when you choose your fonts and also remember you're going to have to deal with a text box unless you're using NVL style: Your characters are all quite short so you want to make sure the lovely art doesn't get hidden behind the ui! Though maybe you could put the text box at the top instead. As someone else said it may be worth making the wings obvious on Mel's design as they're such a plot point.

► Any critique? Questions?
This looks lovely, go go go!

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 12:19 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2016 10:48 pm
Posts: 40
Projects: Unichan (NanoReno), Keylocker
Twitter: @umiloo
Tumblr: umiloo
MimirollCookie wrote:
Looking forward to it specially cause it's comedy! :D


♥♥♥


Weenily wrote:
► Do you like the concept of the story?
I ADORE IT. This is honestly my favorite kind of story and I was just smiling the entire time I read the game description. The story is so cute and original and I'm really hoping that both Melusine and Sir Little Popcorn Basket the Third will be able to reach their dreams. It feels a lot like a cute and quirky picture book and I cannot wait to play it.

► What are your thoughts on the characters?
Fantastic. I love these characters so much already and I haven't even played it yet. Melusine's problems feel very relatable for kids that age and I love her fashion taste! I'm interested in seeing how Melusine's lies will come back to bite her if she ever gets found out or how she'll actually find a way to fly! Sir Little Popcorn Basket the Third has my full respect. So much that I will consistently use his full name, which I also love. He's absolutely precious gosh I absolutely love the part in his description where it was like "All that Sir knew is that when someone has wings, they know how to fly"

► Would you be interested in a longer version of the game with possible routes?
A million times yes! Although I'm totally fine with it being a kinetic VN I'm interested in all the other places this story and these characters could go.

► What are your suggestions regarding the script?
There are some mistakes in the grammar but I see you have proofreaders so it'll be fine! I love the way the characters are described nonetheless, it's very fitting for this story. Suggestions for the actual script though hmmm... I'd like to know more about Sir Little Popcorn Basket the Third. Like where did he and his predecessors get their name? Melusine just being an interesting kid haha. I'd also like to see Sir Little Popcorn Basket the Third and Melusine singing together! Maybe put some puns in the script.

► What are your suggestions regarding the art?
I really, really love the art! The style is distinct and it has this traditional pastel feel. I love the colors the artist uses! It's so fresh and interesting to look at. The logo is so cute and magical. The designs are also very lovely! My one suggestion would be maybe making Melusine's wings visible on her sprite? Otherwise, she looks perfect to me! Sir Little Popcorn Basket the Third has a wonderful design too and just the cutest color scheme. I'm so curious about that other character on the stilts with the tomato hat! It's such a cute and creative design.

► Any critique? Questions?
None so far! Good luck on your project I'm really excited for when your team finishes!


I'm so glad you liked it!
I'm hoping so! xD I think they deserve the best <3 I'm not really used to telling stories like this (I'm more into scifi and dark stories), but the idea just popped in my mind and it fits Nanoreno so much that I think I should have a try.

I haven't defined a lot of outlines for the story yet, so I don't know how it will come by. But I do want the story to be lighthearted, so I'm keeping that in mind as to develop it.

I love this quote too! I laughed so hard when I wrote it xD (this character makes me laugh all the time!)

The thing is, I'm not a native speaker, but apart from that, I was writing this pretty quickly, so I just didn't revise (I was so anxious to posting it), so I'm sorry for the errors. xD They won't appear in the VN, I hope, since I have at least a group of people (and the programmer) willing to help!

I was already thinking of giving some explanations about their names, since they're so distinct (specially Sir's!), so I think I could include your request <3 (the singing part is in discussion with the crew, but I loved the idea! :lol:)

The wings are only visible in the back sprite. We're thinking of changing it maybe, but this sprite is already done and it will be the first sprite to show up. And about that character... I think I won't post any suggestion about her until the release of the game, because it may contain spoilers for the reader!

We're very excited aswell! Thank you so much for your support! I was smiling the whole time I read your comments <3


clua wrote:
Both the art and the whole concept of the game is too cute :A:
Hope you got to finish it! Good luck :D!

Thank you, I'm pleased you liked it!
We're hoping so too! :wink:


Lesleigh63 wrote:
It looks really cute.

Thank you, our artist is glad! <3


Ghost of Crux wrote:
► Do you like the concept of the story?
THIS CONCEPT MAKES ME FEEL THE FUZZINESS IN MY HEART THAT I HAVE NEVER FELT IN YEARS

► What are your thoughts on the characters?
points as signature
I LOVE THEM. They're just... I don't know. The sweetest things alive.

► Would you be interested in a longer version of the game with possible routes?
Sure, yes!

► What are your suggestions regarding the script?
I don't know-- I kind of imagine this to be a bit on the innocent, almost children's book style?

► What are your suggestions regarding the art?
NOTHING. IT'S PERFECT.

► Any critique? Questions?
more unicorns

HAHAHA, I'm pleased to give you the fuzziness that you've been longing for so much time! :lol:

I'm hoping to fulfill my duty of transforming them into the ultimate weapon of cuteness xD I'm inspiring my work in a lot of creepy cute things (like adventure time and that episode about the "army of cuteness" for Poppy, or Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita, for example), but the cute parts are taking over.

If it's more unicorns that you ask, your wish may be granted!
Thank you! <3


KiloTango wrote:
I love the painty style of this and that tomato-cat-stilt-witch is both mysterious and wonderful. It sounds like a really cute story!

► Do you like the concept of the story?
Yes! It seems sweet and fun.

► What are your thoughts on the characters?
I feel bad for Melusine, I hope she gets her singing confidence back. Sir Little Popcorn Basket, the third is both majestic and adorable. THAT CAT THOUGH.

► Would you be interested in a longer version of the game with possible routes?
Yep.

► What are your suggestions regarding the script?
Tell the story only you can tell. There are a few errors in the post but you have a proof reader so that will be fine. But mostly, I want to read the story you want to make, rather than you trying to make one to tick people's usual preferences because that's how we get interesting and new experiences :)

► What are your suggestions regarding the art?
It's already gorgeous. Maybe take care when you choose your fonts and also remember you're going to have to deal with a text box unless you're using NVL style: Your characters are all quite short so you want to make sure the lovely art doesn't get hidden behind the ui! Though maybe you could put the text box at the top instead. As someone else said it may be worth making the wings obvious on Mel's design as they're such a plot point.

► Any critique? Questions?
This looks lovely, go go go!

This concept gave us headaches. Firstly, I did some sketches in the paper, and the artist completed it. So we thought "Now we could do the sprites, right?". Well... Some hours later of intense labor and lots of crying, he finished it (I may be distorting the reality, but looked like it xD). However the cat was the easiest to figure out the colors palette.

"Tell the story only you can tell." this hit right in the feels! I was becoming a little nervous after posted it here, but I think I can just relax and... write, since it's the only thing I can do. xD I think the ideas given untill now wasn't against the plotline that I was thinking of, so it's ok. As I was saying before, I was in a hush to write this post, so it came a little messed up, but I already fixed the errors. I have a friend here in Lemma that will help me with the script, alongside with the proof-readers (and the programmer also worked as a revisor in a scanlator, so I think we're safe!).

We're already considering this, so I think the box will be a little shorter than usual (maybe resize the font too). And about the wings, it will be visible in another sprite (the back one), but we're considering it to be seen in the other sprites too.

Thank you so much for your feedback <3

♥♥♥

Thank you all for the support and feedback, we're willing to take it all into consideration. Now we're in the process of writing the outline yet, but our programmer is considering adjusting the UI for the art.

Untill the end of the week we may have some new announcements regarding the devlog and maybe some chapters done! (some more art samples too!)

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 7:31 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 10, 2015 3:59 pm
Posts: 407
Completed: Trial By Fire, Heartbaked, Ellaria, Plain, This My Soul
Projects: Arena Circus
Twitter: @CapMinyan
itch.io: minyan
► Do you like the concept of the story?
► What are your thoughts on the characters?
► Would you be interested in a longer version of the game with possible routes?
► What are your suggestions regarding the script?
► What are your suggestions regarding the art?
► Any critique? Questions?

I like the idea of Melusine in particular, loving to sing but sucking at it. I can relate man. xD The unicorn also seems super tragic yet I mean, it's a merry go round horse, so while you feel bad there's that light comedic feel to it as well.

I would love a longer version!

Hmm, I feel like I'd need to know a little more to offer suggestions on the script.

No suggestions on the sprite art, I love it as it is <3 For the GUI, maybe a darker textbox would look nice, but again, I'm reluctant to give suggestion without knowing what ideas you guys already have.

I'll save my questions for after you guys get a little more done, I'm sure you still have a lot of things to work out.

Overall:
This is an adorable idea. The art looks so soft and sweet yet just a touch dark- I really love it. The logo is beautiful too, and all the colors are a lovely fit. Can't wait to see more~<3

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 8:06 pm 
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Omg Sci-fi and dark stories, it's wonderful that you're trying out something new! It's definitely an idea worth trying and perfect for NaNoReno. I hope you have fun writing it! I wonder if there'll be any sci-fi influences or anything haha. I look forward to any other future projects you have of those genres.

Sir Little Popcorn Basket the Third definitely feels like he makes a lot of people happy! And ooh, I see! I feel you haha. It's really nerve-racking to post your ideas online. I think you did a wonderful job of presenting your game though! Good luck deciding on how the story goes, whatever feels best to you!

Ahh yes, I checked out your team's devblog on Tumblr and saw the winged back sprite. It's good like that as well! And gosh, the mystery character must be quite important then. I'll just have to be patient for the release and the next updates huhu. I'm glad my comments made you smile too! xD

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 9:56 am 
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Joined: Sat May 23, 2015 5:05 am
Posts: 725
Location: A place where rainbows and unicorns collide. ^0^
Completed: Best Friends (DRAMA), Sweet and Spices (NaNo16)
Projects: Cupid's Wish, Best Friends Deux
Organization: Pastelle Studios
Deviantart: MimirollCookie
Ah~
Anyway, when I posted my reply, I didn't saw the pictures. Now that I saw it, IT'S SO CUTE!! FIRST VN I SAW WITH CUTE GRAPHICS!
GOOD LUCK!


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 10:12 am 
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This is the kind of quality visual novel content I'm after the more unicorns the better im so happy


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 3:14 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2016 10:48 pm
Posts: 40
Projects: Unichan (NanoReno), Keylocker
Twitter: @umiloo
Tumblr: umiloo
minyan wrote:
► Do you like the concept of the story?
► What are your thoughts on the characters?
► Would you be interested in a longer version of the game with possible routes?
► What are your suggestions regarding the script?
► What are your suggestions regarding the art?
► Any critique? Questions?

I like the idea of Melusine in particular, loving to sing but sucking at it. I can relate man. xD The unicorn also seems super tragic yet I mean, it's a merry go round horse, so while you feel bad there's that light comedic feel to it as well.

I would love a longer version!

Hmm, I feel like I'd need to know a little more to offer suggestions on the script.

No suggestions on the sprite art, I love it as it is <3 For the GUI, maybe a darker textbox would look nice, but again, I'm reluctant to give suggestion without knowing what ideas you guys already have.

I'll save my questions for after you guys get a little more done, I'm sure you still have a lot of things to work out.

Overall:
This is an adorable idea. The art looks so soft and sweet yet just a touch dark- I really love it. The logo is beautiful too, and all the colors are a lovely fit. Can't wait to see more~<3

I can relate to it too! I'm in her shoes completely xD In fact, that's what I was looking for. They have real problems, and are struggling with it, but they're also very optimistic about the world around them, and their own lives.

The darker box was in our plans! Since the bgs are too light, and the text color is white, the darker color will give the contrast needed.

Thank you so much on your feedback! <3 As soon as we have more information about the VN and our ideas, we'll post it here!


Weenily wrote:
Omg Sci-fi and dark stories, it's wonderful that you're trying out something new! It's definitely an idea worth trying and perfect for NaNoReno. I hope you have fun writing it! I wonder if there'll be any sci-fi influences or anything haha. I look forward to any other future projects you have of those genres.

Sir Little Popcorn Basket the Third definitely feels like he makes a lot of people happy! And ooh, I see! I feel you haha. It's really nerve-racking to post your ideas online. I think you did a wonderful job of presenting your game though! Good luck deciding on how the story goes, whatever feels best to you!

Ahh yes, I checked out your team's devblog on Tumblr and saw the winged back sprite. It's good like that as well! And gosh, the mystery character must be quite important then. I'll just have to be patient for the release and the next updates huhu. I'm glad my comments made you smile too! xD

At first I thought it would be a very difficult approach, but untill now I didn't have any problems (despite the fact that she's a child, so I'm having a little trouble with it, but I'm mastering the skills of a child! :lol:). I'm having fun! I think the world is such a mess that these kind of stories, as well as kittens videos, for example, can bring some smiles xD

I'm laughing at you using his full name at all opportunities! This will soon be a thing!

As far as I'm concerned, the references aren't there, but I don't know about the future ;O We have another project that it's on hold in the moment (because of Nanoreno), but you can see some images in our Twitter page! It's called Keylocker.

We'll try and upload the tumblr more, with more information and insights on the devlog, so I'm sorry that you encountered just a bunch of randomness! :lol: That sprite needs some retouch, since the wings aren't in a contrasting color, and her hat is bigger than the other one, but the idea remains xD And thank you!

She's important ;O I can tell you that she's a cute old lady! :3

And, are you participating in Nanoreno as well? ;O


MimirollCookie wrote:
Ah~
Anyway, when I posted my reply, I didn't saw the pictures. Now that I saw it, IT'S SO CUTE!! FIRST VN I SAW WITH CUTE GRAPHICS!
GOOD LUCK!

:lol: that's ok!
Thank you so much! Our artist is really happy to know you liked it <3 (he's still hiding underneath at his luxurious abode in the shadows, but he may create an account in the near future xD)

colacatinthehat wrote:
This is the kind of quality visual novel content I'm after the more unicorns the better im so happy


The more unicorns the merrier! ♥♥♥
We can't really go wrong with more unicorns! :3

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