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Forget Me Not [Fantasy, Adventure] [KN] [NaNo16]

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 6:41 pm
by chocojax
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Asharru, a young necromancer, travels across the country to enact revenge upon her brother, Arishaka. She goes on a journey with her lover, Sibri, and an orphan, Ur. As her journey progresses, things seem to take a darker turn.
(The story takes place in a slightly European medieval setting. Asharru, Sibri, and Arishaka are all outsiders. Though, I might choose to change this. :'D)

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Asharru: female necromancer
Asharru is the youngest in her family of four. In her childhood, she clung onto Arishaka, her brother, and shied away from the other children in their tribe. Once she became of age, she was betrothed to the elder's second youngest grandson. Distraught, she secluded herself in the darkness of the wilderness when she was able. Two months before her marriage, she met Sibri, her fiance's cousin. They quickly fell in love and often met in secret. After her brother tried to murder her love, Asharru nursed Sibri back to health. She then vowed to punish her brother for his horrific act of betrayal.
Asharru is very endearing and kind to those she loves. She's rather naive and selfish, often putting her own desires before others.

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Sibri: male warrior, Asharru's lover
Sibri was raised since childhood to become a hardened and loyal guardian for his tribe. He is extremely loyal to Asharru, to the point of death if needed.
Due to his training, Sibri is often cool-headed and rational. He became mute after Arishaka stabbed him. He is fond of birds.

Ur: orphan, adopted by Asharru
Ur was abandoned by his parents at a young age. He would spend his days and nights begging for food and money, which barely sustained his life. As winter approached, he slowly lost his energy and will to live, and hid in wait for his death. However, when he was nearly dead from starvation and cold, he was noticed and taken care of by Asharru. Because of this, he decided to travel with her to stay by her side.
Ur is a rather cheerful and active boy. He always bugs Asharru or Sibri to teach him ways to fight.

Arishaka: Asharru's brother
Arishaka was the eldest in his family. He doted upon his younger sister, Asharru, and made sure to keep her away from the harsh realities of their world. He would always comfort her when she cried about her betrothal to a man she did not know. When she started to fall in love with Sibri, Arishaka grew jealous and dreamed of killing Sibri. When his desire finally overcame his restraint, he attacked Sibri. Once he saw Asharru's face, he fled in fear and despair.

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Writing:
Outline - few scenes left, minor tweaks

Art:
Designs - working on Sibri, Arishaka, and Ur
Sprites - sketching phase
Backgrounds - thumbnail phase
CGs - 0% (unknown)

Other:
GUI - thumbnail phase
BGM - 0% (will take from free resources)

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chocojax: writer, artist, programmer
Thanks to Rick for supporting me and giving me feedback and suggestions on things!

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I'm really happy with the way that the story/characters are turning out, and I'm super excited to start writing! Asharru has also become one of my new waifus. :D (twitter)

(I'd really appreciate any sort of answers to the questions below!)
  1. What do you think of the character designs? (I know there's just two at the moment, but!!)
  2. Which character(s) do you like/dislike?


(Also, if you're a musician and you'd like to help out, feel free to contact me. :>)

Re: Forget Me Not [Fantasy, Adventure] [KN] [NaNo16]

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 8:01 pm
by Lodratio
A fantasy adventure featuring a qt necromancer as the protagonist? Sounds eerily familiar for some reason... :lol:
Whether your characters work depends on the direction your story is going, and how well they interact with eachother, so I don't really have an opinion on that.
On the art side of things, I think you could make the reds in your logo a little brighter, maybe add some hue and value variations, but it's looking good already.
I really like the colors and design for your protagonist, but I'm not as sure about her sidekick. The red-green-purple combination just doesn't work that well. I'd suggest ditching the red, since it's so prominent in your other design, but It's hard to tell what kind of colorscheme you're going for with just two sprites. If you post your background thumbnails I think it'll be much easier to give you pointers on that.

Good luck!

Re: Forget Me Not [Fantasy, Adventure] [KN] [NaNo16]

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 8:15 pm
by MimirollCookie
Asharu looks so cute!

Re: Forget Me Not [Fantasy, Adventure] [KN] [NaNo16]

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 9:03 pm
by infel
Yay, another fantasy game :D . Good to see more of those actually. Anyway this game looks very interesting (I'm finding many NaNo games are like this. I'm going to have a lot to play lol.) What I like about yours is how they are already in a relationship. It's nice to have a change with romance =).

As for your questions:


1-The character designs are great! I've always really like your art style =). Asharru is very pretty to, I admit I like Sibri's design a bit more but that's because he's a guy. Very handsome =D. But again the art is looking great and the style fits with the story you're going for =). Though I love designs, I do agree with Lodratio that the purple sash on Sibri does clash a bit with the red. However like Lodratio said when we have the backgrounds we'll be able to compare them a bit better. Still I do like what you're doing with them. Good luck =).

2-Sibri I like due to his protectiveness and the unique trait of being silent. Ur seems good to. Nothing objectionable. Now I know this may sound weird, but I like her brother. I know he's the bad guy and might have a bit of a sister complex, but I do feel a bit sorry for him since from what you wrote he appears to feel guilty. Asharru I'm 50/50 about. I think what put me off just a bit if her being selfish, but that's actually realistic, so I think once I'll read the game and get to know her, I might like her a little more. What I do like is she is not too kind and has her faults

Re: Forget Me Not [Fantasy, Adventure] [KN] [NaNo16]

Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2016 10:00 pm
by AlceX
The character designs are awesome! The characters are nicely related to each other, but I can't really tell if I like them or not from a description.

Re: Forget Me Not [Fantasy, Adventure] [KN] [NaNo16]

Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2016 4:18 am
by Kinmoku
Ooh this sounds really good :D I like the character designs too, they remind me a little of Fire Emblem!

Re: Forget Me Not [Fantasy, Adventure] [KN] [NaNo16]

Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 12:15 pm
by DrSchizo
This project looks really nice!

But, you should definitely change the name since another visual novel is already called like that.

Re: Forget Me Not [Fantasy, Adventure] [KN] [NaNo16]

Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 2:29 pm
by Dreamgazer
1) What do you think of the character designs? (I know there's just two at the moment, but!!)
They look great! Asharru is so cute. I love the flower ornament in her hair. And Sibri has a really neat headdress.

2) Which character(s) do you like/dislike?
Hmm...it's hard to say since I need to see them in action, but at the moment, I'm most interested in Asharru and Arishaka.

Good luck with your project!

Re: Forget Me Not [Fantasy, Adventure] [KN] [NaNo16]

Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 3:05 pm
by chocojax
Really late post, since I've been busy with schoolwork. (Gotta start working real hard after this week!)

Background WIP from two or one week ago... :'D
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And updated colors for Sibri! Yay!
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I'll have a whole bunch more updates after this Saturday, 'cause then I have a ton of free time! :D

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@Lodratio: Hahaha! I got really nervous at first since I thought I copied some manga/anime that I watched a long time ago, but then realized... :'D

Definitely will mess around with logo colors when I get the chance. I'm also kinda bad at picking colors in general, but hopefully these colors look better? The first version was red/green/purple because I was mixing together Asharru's colors with his old design colors, haha.

Thank you!! Good luck to you as well. :D

@MimirollCookie: Thanks! I think she looks cute too! :DD

@infel: Hahha, yeah, there's a whole bunch of fantasy games! I think somehow fantasy stories got popular in general, for like anime and stuff... :D

1) Hopefully the new colors look better? :'D Sibri looks like a parrot now, HAHAH.

2) Yeah! I also like her brother, he's moe, but I usually think a lot of characters are moe. :p
Hopefully you'll like Asharru when you read it! It's not like she's completely selfish/bratty, but, more like... leaving her family (responsibilities/duties) in order to pursue her brother. I dunno, but maybe it'll be better in the story than my description here!! Hahah.

@AlceX: Thank you! Hopefully you'll like them once the story is finished, then. :'D

@Kinmoku: Thanks! Oh, do they? I suppose I did have Tharja in mind when designing Asharru, hahaha.

@DrSchizo: Thank you!

I did notice that, but there's also another one named Forget Me Not, although not as recent. It's also kinda important to Asharru, so I'm strongly attached to this title. :'D

@Dreamgazer: Thank you!!

Re: Forget Me Not [Fantasy, Adventure] [KN] [NaNo16]

Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 3:10 pm
by infel
Oh I love Fantasy =D. I wish there were more anime ones like 12 Kingdoms, but it's so rare ;-;. Glad that visual novels are doing. I want to do one, but Fantasy is a hard genre ;-;.


And his colors look much better =D. You did a good job. He's very handsome ^^.

I'm excited to see what he's like and his sprite XD. As for Asharru, I think I'll like her. It's good that she's not a Mary Sue. She's realistic to me =).

Re: Forget Me Not [Fantasy, Adventure] [KN] [NaNo16]

Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 5:55 pm
by DrSchizo
If you're really attached to the name, maybe you could add something to it, like "Forget Me Not - Asharru revenge" or something like this.

You might not want people to mix up your game with a (really good) BxB drama that talks about difficult subjects like drugs, violence, depression and sexual abuse. But if you don't care, it's fine as well. These two games are so different, it's hard to mix up. They will still compete in Google search, though.

Anywy, that's a really nice background!

Re: Forget Me Not [Fantasy, Adventure] [KN] [NaNo16]

Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2016 9:37 am
by YuukiCrossPudding
Dropping by to say that this looks fantastic!
I love how tribe-y (is that even a word?) this is, and ooh necromancy!
The BG looks pretty too so far!

What do you think of the character designs?
I LOVE THEM, I love the colors you picked <3

Which character(s) do you like/dislike?
Hmm none so far, I even like Assharu's bro, because in one way I know how he felt. (I have two lil' sis) :lol:
I think he just swept by his rage and jealousy. Hopefully all of them can have their own happy endings ;;

Good luck with the project, and wish you all the best!