Lucky Me, Lucky You [NaNo2016, Complete]

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Lucky Me, Lucky You [NaNo2016, Complete]

#1 Post by ebi-hime » Mon Mar 07, 2016 7:55 pm

Lucky Me, Lucky You

Synopsis:
Okada Nanami is in a serious slump. Her super cute girlfriend just broke up with her, without any explanation, and she’s at her wit’s end trying to figure out why.
Enter her best friend, Ryo.
In an attempt to cheer her up, Ryo invites Nanami over to his apartment to eat ice cream and watch dodgy porn.
What begins as a perfectly ordinary night, however, soon takes an unexpected turn, when Nanami discovers one of the actresses is none other than Morishita Misae – a has-been pinup model, and Nanami’s first crush.
Impulsive as always, Nanami decides to go on a journey with an (unwilling) Ryo to find Misae, and confess to her her feelings – but can her dreams ever hope to live up to reality?

Characters:
Image
Okada Nanami:
A university student, aged 21, studying to become a nurse.
A loud girl who loves going to parties, and hates being alone for protracted periods of time.
She’s good at making friends, but is prone to making thoughtless, insensitive comments, which can drive others away.
She cares a good deal about her appearance, and spends an ungodly amount of time on her hair, make up, and (especially) her fingernails.

Image
Hisaka Ryo:
A fellow university student, aged 21, studying chemistry.
He’s quiet but sharp-tongued, and doesn’t fluster easily.
Mature and reliable, he’s a good friend, despite his caustic comments and fondness for gossip.
He doesn’t identify as female, but sometimes dresses as a girl when the mood strikes – generally when he won’t run the risk of running into anybody he knows.

Screenshots:
Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Credits:
Writing/Programming: Ebi-Hime
Art: Awedacious

Notes:
So, this is Lucky Me, Lucky You, a relatively short and completely kinetic VN.
I think the final script size is 28k.
There won't be any CGs, and the backgrounds will be filtered photos because I'm cheap orz
I know it's a bit of a strange idea, but it was at the back of my mind for almost a year, so I decided I should take this opportunity (Nanoreno) to sit down and write it.
I hope you enjoy it when it's finished, ahaha... XD;
Also, it's probably more suited for an older audience, given the subject matter - even though there isn't anything explicit.

The VN is now finished. The completed thread is here.
Last edited by ebi-hime on Mon Mar 28, 2016 12:36 pm, edited 7 times in total.
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Re: Lucky Me, Lucky You [NaNo2016]

#2 Post by Mandy » Mon Mar 07, 2016 8:39 pm

This looks great!

Ryo and Nanami seem like such cute friends!
I admit the story does sound strange, but in a fun and wacky way.

I'm really looking forward to reading another kinetic VN from you.
The art looks cute too and I like your use of filtered photos for the backgrounds!

Good luck!
I'll be looking forward to its release. ^w^

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Re: Lucky Me, Lucky You [NaNo2016]

#3 Post by infel » Mon Mar 07, 2016 8:54 pm

This is an interesting story, though a bit strange but in a good way =D. I really like the art style you're going for to. It looks very well done. I'm looking forward to trying it out, though I admit the main girl may not be for me though I'd still like to try because it sounds intriguing =).
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Re: Lucky Me, Lucky You [NaNo2016]

#4 Post by Lesleigh63 » Tue Mar 08, 2016 12:30 am

I like the sound of this - Ryo intrigues me.

Good luck with your Nano.
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Re: Lucky Me, Lucky You [NaNo2016]

#5 Post by Nana7 » Tue Mar 08, 2016 12:57 am

I think this story has a creative concept, really interesting! The characters formed themselves in my mind quickly, so the descriptions are neat.

Their friendship sounds funny, the 'unwilling' ryo going with the friend just to please her, looks like some of my friends with me. Somewhat relatable. The art looks great! Looking forward.
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Re: Lucky Me, Lucky You [NaNo2016]

#6 Post by Drewz » Tue Mar 08, 2016 6:42 am

I don't find the story strange o.O Seems like a good premise to me; Can't wait to play it ♥

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Re: Lucky Me, Lucky You [NaNo2016]

#7 Post by Hi.In.Ni » Tue Mar 08, 2016 8:08 am

Wow, great characters, I cant wait to see more!
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Re: Lucky Me, Lucky You [NaNo2016]

#8 Post by ebi-hime » Wed Mar 09, 2016 3:44 pm

Thank you for your nice comments, everyone! I need to work hard...
And, @ infel - Nanami is my attempt to make a rare extroverted main character, since all the main characters I write end up being introverts. She's pretty dissimilar from the leads I usually write, so it's a bit challenging. She's also not the nicest of people, but I'm still fond of her.

I edited the script a bit, it's around 21k, and I don't think it'll get much bigger or smaller than that. I need to polish a lot more, though. I'm happy with the beginning of the script, and the ending, but there's a section of words about 3k long in the middle that I'm not sure about : I
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Re: Lucky Me, Lucky You [NaNo2016]

#9 Post by clua » Wed Mar 09, 2016 9:57 pm

Ohh! I think I'm going to like the MC! The sprite sketches are very cute, you always choose such cute art for your games :A:
Good luck, but I don't doubt you are going to make it!
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Re: Lucky Me, Lucky You [NaNo2016]

#10 Post by infel » Thu Mar 10, 2016 6:54 pm

Oh okay. That's understandable. Good luck with her. She is realistic and maybe as I read the story I'll like her more. It's aways good with writing to do different things, so I'm interested to see how she differs from your other characters =D.
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Re: Lucky Me, Lucky You [NaNo2016]

#11 Post by Rinima » Fri Mar 11, 2016 6:57 pm

This looks interesting, I've loved all your past works so I'm sure I'll enjoy this :)

On a side note, I feel obliged to point this out since I'm am a student nurse:
"She cares a good deal about her appearance, and spends an ungodly amount of time on her hair, make up, and (especially) her fingernails." wut? this makes no sense to me O.o If you care about appearance a lot (and I mean alot), you don't go into nursing, it's not a career for the fashion conscious XD Also, she wouldn't be allowed fancy nails, it's a requirement in most hospitals that nurses aren't allowed false nails, nail varnish, or anything like that, even a clear layer of nail varnish is frowned on. As for hair, I'm not sure how long one can spend on hair that needs to be up and off the neck and basically in a bun (unless you have short hair).
Also "is prone to making thoughtless, insensitive comments" *alarm bells going in regards as to if nursing actually suits her*
(sorry about that large rant XD)

On another side note, it's lovely to see a main character student nurse for once, I don't see many.
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Re: Lucky Me, Lucky You [NaNo2016]

#12 Post by ebi-hime » Sun Mar 13, 2016 6:18 pm

@ infel
Well, Nanami's not necessarily meant to be a likable character... That's up to the reader to decide.
She's a lot of fun to write, though XD Lots of run-on sentences. I hope her first person narration is notably different to other 1st person narrators I've written.

@ Rinima
Thank you for your comments!
She has a few conversations with Ryo about her decision to be a nurse, and how it doesn't mesh with her obsession about her appearance. Also, that she gets in trouble about her appearance. You never actually see her in the hospital, since that's not an important part of the story, but she'd tie her hair up for work. She's just not at work in the story.

And I added a few more screens, and the finished sprites (they look so cuuute >_<)
Nanami, why do you have such a foul mouth...
Writing characters like this a little tricky, since I want it to sound naturalistic, and not too try-hard. I hope she sounds convincing enough.
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Re: Lucky Me, Lucky You [NaNo2016]

#13 Post by Rinima » Sun Mar 13, 2016 7:31 pm

ebi-hime wrote:@ Rinima
Thank you for your comments!
She has a few conversations with Ryo about her decision to be a nurse, and how it doesn't mesh with her obsession about her appearance. Also, that she gets in trouble about her appearance. You never actually see her in the hospital, since that's not an important part of the story, but she'd tie her hair up for work. She's just not at work in the story.
That should be interesting to read then XD But yea, I just though I'd pitch up and see if this was mentioned in the story at all about the meshing, looks like you have it covered though!
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Re: Lucky Me, Lucky You [NaNo2016]

#14 Post by Candy☆Giants » Mon Mar 14, 2016 6:03 am

I like the minimalistic UI. Sometimes you don't need to customize too much to be elegant and effective! :) It works with the backgrounds, too.

Good luck! :D

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Re: Lucky Me, Lucky You [NaNo2016]

#15 Post by Harliqueen » Mon Mar 14, 2016 6:10 am

This looks like it's going to be great! I can't believe I missed seeing it until now :D

And those sprites... soooo pretty!

Really can't wait to play this, sounds like it's going to be fun and something a bit different! Good luck with it all :)

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