Wight [NaNo17] [Mystery] [Magic]

NaNoRenO is an event where creators make a game from scratch during the month of March.
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thecoins
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Wight [NaNo17] [Mystery] [Magic]

#1 Post by thecoins » Wed Mar 15, 2017 3:41 am

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by thecoins & rvrer
It's my first NaNo! I hope I can finish this.

Unfortunately, we didn't manage to finish this on time.
here is what we've done so far (PC):
https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BwqVW ... UhhRko3emc

Synopsis


I am obsessed with magical things.
I always think it’d be interesting to get involved with magical incidents in my life.
Lately, people in my neighborhood are missing with no trace.
Honestly i'm not that concerned about it at the start.
But then, it begin to feel quite strange.
Could it be that those people missing have something to do with magic or supernatural things?
That must be wonderful.

...or probably not.

Character


Image

Weiss
A cheerful girl on the outside, cold person inside.
Obsessed with magical things.
Pretty good at fighting.

Edison
Despite of his age, he acts like edgy teenager.
Loves everything.
He looks like hiding a bad past.


Questions

We need feedback from you!
  1. What do you think about the synopsis?
  2. Any other comments?
Thanks!

Oh also, I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes. English is not my native languages :)
Last edited by thecoins on Mon Apr 03, 2017 9:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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indoneko
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Re: Wight [NaNo17] [Mystery] [Magic]

#2 Post by indoneko » Wed Mar 15, 2017 4:53 am

1. You could make the synopsis more interesting by actually mentioning what was the strange thing that made the MC curious. For example, one of the neighbor suddenly disappeared while the MC was talking on the phone with them...

2. Get a proofreader to check your grammar.

Btw, Weiss' Ahoge almost seems like an angel Halo. Was it intentional?
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thecoins
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Re: Wight [NaNo17] [Mystery] [Magic]

#3 Post by thecoins » Thu Mar 16, 2017 7:34 am

Thanks for your reply! I'll try to edit the synopsis.

Well, yes. It's intentional. Her ahoge is somewhat related with her abilities.

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Katy133
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Re: Wight [NaNo17] [Mystery] [Magic]

#4 Post by Katy133 » Thu Mar 16, 2017 7:23 pm

The premise interests me. I like characters who are collectors of strange and magical objects.

I'm guessing that this is a mystery story with fantasy and friendship elements to it? Either way, I'll keep an eye on this project. :D

It's great seeing new people doing NaNoRenO! Go luck on your first Nano visual novel. :D
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thecoins
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Re: Wight [NaNo17] [Mystery] [Magic]

#5 Post by thecoins » Mon Apr 03, 2017 9:33 pm

Thanks!
Unfortunately we can't finish this on time.
We'll continue working on this though.

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