chocojax's Art Thread [Critique always appreciated!]

[chocojax]

If the source of light comes from the city in the dome, then maybe add some bright lights coming from the buildings? Basically, I think the image would look nicer with more luminous light. Try playing around with some adjustment layers in PS to get that effect and such.

Would it? It was pretty bright in the previous WIPs, but I wanted to kinda tone it down so that the mermaid wouldn't be too left out, but, I don't really know at the moment 'cause I'm really tired, haha. Looking at it from far away, I messed up the composition, I think. The main thing was supposed to be the mermaid (idk why, thinking about it now, it would make more sense to have the city be the main point of interest).

Here's this, with a more saturated city.

And then here's this, with saturated+slightly more bright city + darker mermaid?

And here's a thumbnail comparison. :/ (current, sat city, sat+darker)

[MaiMai]

The mermaid is still very interesting especially since the composition still leads ones' eyes back to her.

I think for light, try to see what it looks like with yellow? I guess overall while it makes sense to have lots of blues, greens, and cool colors overall, I think a slightly warmer color like yellow would add some nice contrast. It's just something to try and I really like the darker mermaid since pushing the values really makes her pop out even if she isn't the main focus.

[chocojax]

I think for light, try to see what it looks like with yellow? I guess overall while it makes sense to have lots of blues, greens, and cool colors overall, I think a slightly warmer color like yellow would add some nice contrast. It's just something to try and I really like the darker mermaid since pushing the values really makes her pop out even if she isn't the main focus.

Uhh, I tried to do this:

I tried to make the buildings more yellow (not too yellow, when I did so it looked pretty crazy). Tried adding in yellow lights too, but it looked strange in 100%:


Here's the version without the yellow, which I personally like the most:
http://boonce.org/up/2013090903-re.png
Since it's started to resemble an "abandoned but giant trees" city.

...And then, after looking at it again, the city looked too dark. So, upped brightness:


as you can tell im p tired

[Kohaku]

The only problem with this when I first saw it was that I wasn't sure whether she was looking down at a city of humans or actually sort of keeping them as pets ( like sea monkeys if you will ) although that would make her one giant mermaid.....


I hope you don't mind but I can show what I mean better than I can by just trying to explain it or though I will try to do that too.

I think the problem is with the distance between the mermaid and the city so I had a quick go at this, it is rather a crude attempt to show what I mean but I hope this helps and doesn't stray from what you where going for.

First off I added some distance between the mermaid and the city and then put some dark rocks for her to peek over which in tern makes her radiance glow better. I tried to fill in the gaps ( failed but I hope you get the idea ) I created when splitting everything up.








I also read you weren't sure what should be the main focus so I crudely used the lasso tool to make a copy of just the mermaid and the rocks which are in the foreground of the picture and then applied a gaussian blur to the city layer to make the mermaid the focus and then vice versa if you want the city as the focus.









The Gaussian blur is maybe a tad strong but I did it so you could at least see the effect more clearly.

Sorry for the black bars but when I split your initial image up to seperate them I had to create a new file which was a tad too big and resulted in me having to fill the gap with black.


I don't know if i'm getting better at this critiquing but if this helps in anyway then I did something right

[chocojax]

The only problem with this when I first saw it was that I wasn't sure whether she was looking down at a city of humans or actually sort of keeping them as pets ( like sea monkeys if you will ) although that would make her one giant mermaid.....

Haha, the latter would actually be pretty fun. :P

I hope you don't mind but I can show what I mean better than I can by just trying to explain it or though I will try to do that too.

I don't mind. Critique is critique, so. :V

First off I added some distance between the mermaid and the city and then put some dark rocks for her to peek over which in tern makes her radiance glow better. I tried to fill in the gaps ( failed but I hope you get the idea ) I created when splitting everything up.

Yeaaah, that's one thing I should've done during the sketching process. Didn't really notice they were too close until this.

I also read you weren't sure what should be the main focus so I crudely used the lasso tool to make a copy of just the mermaid and the rocks which are in the foreground of the picture and then applied a gaussian blur to the city layer to make the mermaid the focus and then vice versa if you want the city as the focus.

Thanks for taking the time to do that! I should've done that too. I was initially gonna make the underwater city out of focus and put more detail on the mermaid (since I was feelin' up to drawing mermaids > cities), but ended up putting about the same amount of detail on the city too. And, well, I'm sure you know that feeling when you SHOULD take out a chunk of your work, but you don't really want to. :P
Though, it'd probably make more sense to do the second version, where the mermaid is blurred. She's too close to the border which kinda makes the focus go strangely (for me anyway). The city's slightly too close to the border too, but it's a lot better than her positioning. :O

I don't know if i'm getting better at this critiquing but if this helps in anyway then I did something right :)

Yeah, it did! Thanks again for taking the time out of your day to edit my drawing and writing this up. :>> I'll definitely keep these things in mind (well, hopefully. I'm pretty forgetful, haha) the next time I draw.

[chocojax]

I haven't drawn anything for myself in a while (due to projects and whatnot), so here's a mindless doodle.



I'll get back to studies soon, haha. (Probably when school starts again. ): )

[chocojax]

Some doodle of Aya from Mad Father.



I finally got my desktop up at my apartment, so it's a lot easier to draw. If I have more free time tomorrow, I might stream myself randomly drawing.

[chocojax]

Streaming in a little bit! The link is here:

http://livestream.com/ch556

I'll be drawing random things and doing some studies if I feel up to it. ＼( ｀.∀´)／ I'll keep drawing for fun until I shower. Then it's time for Physics.

Stream is over. Thanks for watching!

[chocojax]

Something to update my thread with!!

Any sort of tips on digital painting, as well as critique would be appreciated. :(

(She was supposed to have spider legs, but I forgot to draw in her last two legs, so some sort of insect lady/spider lady!)

[chocojax]

Some dump of most of the stuff I drew this month. Most of 'em are from the 3ds.

[Green Glasses Girl]

Wow, your art is great! You have a wonderful sense of color and composition.

[Tempus]

I know it was months ago now, but I have a suggestion regarding the mermaid artwork and it seeming as though she's looking down at mini city. The focal blur helps, however adding in another mermaid or a school or fish between the mermaid in the foreground and the city in the background will aid the viewer in sensing depth rather than seeing the mermaid as being bigger than the city. With only two planes of depth (foreground and background) and no shared objects between them (that is, there's no buildings in the foreground and no mermaids in the background) it's difficult to tell how far away things are from each other unless the viewer begins to think of what the artist intended.

Below is an example I've made demonstrating what I'm talking about. You'll have to excuse my dodgy mouse painting.



As you can see I've repeated the mermaid into the distance by making her progressively smaller, however I also blurred and reduced her contrast and saturation as she gets further away from the viewer. I've made sure some of these repetitions have been overlapped by objects in different planes of depth, such as the seaweed and the foreground mermaid's arm. I increased the contrast for the foreground and reduced it for the background while also desaturating it. In real life things appear less contrasted and saturated the further away they are. Reds fade quicker than blues. Finally, I worked in grey scale for a bit when I was working to make sure the layers of depth could be told apart purely by value, rather than by hue or saturation. I felt the back of the mermaid was probably a bit too light given that she's more or less silhouetted.

I did a rough job, but it should be fine as an example. I hope it's useful in some way.

[chocojax]

@Green Glasses Girl: Thanks for the kind words! :0)

@Tempus: I can still learn new things from months-old art, you know!

Yeah, I do believe someone else in the thread brought up blurring either the city or the mermaid to help with the focus of the picture.

Now that you've brought that up, her size in comparison to the city is pretty strange, especially since I haven't seen this picture in a while.

In real life things appear less contrasted and saturated the further away they are. Reds fade quicker than blues.

Thanks for the tip! I've always had trouble with coloring objects by their distance.

Thanks for taking the time to fix up my drawing by (painstakingly) using your mouse! I really appreciate it!! I'll keep this in mind the next time I draw something like this. :>>

[chocojax]

Something I drew just now for the new year. (Click for higher res.)



And, here's a thumbnail of me trying to map out what colors I might use. ...And, here's another version where the scarf-thing is a slightly brighter orange. I didn't want it to be too bright, but I did want to use it to try to highlight her.

Any critique on the colors/composition/etc? (I'm gonna blur the things in the foreground, so!!)

[LateWhiteRabbit]

Something I drew just now for the new year. (Click for higher res.)



And, here's a thumbnail of me trying to map out what colors I might use. ...And, here's another version where the scarf-thing is a slightly brighter orange. I didn't want it to be too bright, but I did want to use it to try to highlight her.

Any critique on the colors/composition/etc? (I'm gonna blur the things in the foreground, so!!)

I like the brighter orange for the scarf. Like you said, it helps draw the focal point of the piece to her face.

Also, don't blur the foreground. Try using color hues and values to break up the planes of the image and give depth instead. You can create a compositional frame. Use conservation of detail in the foreground elements, rather than blurring anything.