Is something missing? (feedback wanted)

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Crimsonlobelia
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Is something missing? (feedback wanted)

#1 Post by Crimsonlobelia » Sat Nov 02, 2013 4:06 pm

Hi everyone a new user has entered and is asking for simple yet helpful feedback!
I'm making sprites for a VN and I'm trying to draw in a new yet decent anime/manga style in the form of Cel Shading (i think...).
Anyway this the first time drawing like this and I really want someone to tell me what's missing in this sprite. Any feedback at all is accepted. Thanks.
It's not completely finished though, which is something to keep in mind. Also ignore the shoes as they won't be seen in the final product.
Here's my DA though don't expect anything amazing. http://xshadowkatx.deviantart.com/
You can also see my tumblr which has more stuff on there. http://ishimaru-michiyo-art.tumblr.com/
dorabella sprite .png
Hands are my one weakness. Though I am practising.
ren sprite.png
This is roughly what they will look like in the game. (Visibility wise)

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MaiMai
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Re: Is something missing? (feedback wanted)

#2 Post by MaiMai » Sat Nov 02, 2013 4:47 pm

Since you asked for simple feedback, I won't go too in depth. I might make a redline over your sprites for corrections later if that's okay with you.

Immediately, I would say you need to improve drawing hair so it looks more bouncy instead of like a thick stiff wig and improve the anatomy of your sprites, especially in the arms of the second one. I think you can also draw better eyes; they can be big, but they don't fit the structure of the head well enough.
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Crimsonlobelia
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Re: Is something missing? (feedback wanted)

#3 Post by Crimsonlobelia » Sat Nov 02, 2013 8:33 pm

MaiMai wrote:Since you asked for simple feedback, I won't go too in depth. I might make a redline over your sprites for corrections later if that's okay with you.

Immediately, I would say you need to improve drawing hair so it looks more bouncy instead of like a thick stiff wig and improve the anatomy of your sprites, especially in the arms of the second one. I think you can also draw better eyes; they can be big, but they don't fit the structure of the head well enough.
Thanks so much. Now that you mention it I can see little parts of it where it needs some work. Also, go ahead with the redlining. The more help/feedback the better, Right.
:D
And sorry about wanting simple feedback. From my experiences, when I ask for detailed feedback, I usually get a detailed picture of how that person would do it and that I should do it in their style which I can't stand. So thank you very much.

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MaiMai
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Re: Is something missing? (feedback wanted)

#4 Post by MaiMai » Sat Nov 02, 2013 9:12 pm

Ended up writing more than I thought, but here's my corrections for your first sprite. Basically, you need to have a better idea of how the body works and that's fixable by looking up pictures of people and/or anime characters standing. I tried to keep it to your style as best I can, but you honestly just need to refine what you have which is okay in this stage since you said you're not finished.

Hair, I left alone mostly, but I wrote a short blurb in the corner. It's okay to think of hair in big singular forms, but the contour (aka outline) of hair is still organic and free flowing and made of loose lines.

I'll see if I can redline your second sprite too.
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sendo
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Re: Is something missing? (feedback wanted)

#5 Post by sendo » Sun Nov 03, 2013 6:46 am

Don't forget that you have one of the best reference you can have, your own self! So when you're unsure how to do a pose or how to do a hand, try doing it yourself in front of a mirror.

Applying that, if you try doing the first pose, you'll end up falling sideways because you'll lose balance. When you draw whole body poses especially dynamic poses, draw a 'center of gravity' line (usually a simple vertical line from the head to the feet will do) and use it as a guide to draw the rest of the body. Also, study MaiMai's excellent notes and redline :)
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MaiMai
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Re: Is something missing? (feedback wanted)

#6 Post by MaiMai » Sun Nov 03, 2013 10:35 pm

And I made a redline of your second sprite. I think it speaks for itself.
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Crimsonlobelia
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Re: Is something missing? (feedback wanted)

#7 Post by Crimsonlobelia » Mon Nov 04, 2013 3:27 pm

Thanks so much guys. Sorry for the late reply and everything (wifi's on the fritz). Your tips and redlines really helped. So much that my friend is taking me on a crash course on it tomorrow. Thanks again. :D

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pineapplepocky
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Re: Is something missing? (feedback wanted)

#8 Post by pineapplepocky » Sun Nov 10, 2013 7:42 pm

It might be good if you indicate eyebrows

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