[Lunarisse] Help me build my portfolio! Critiques too pls!

[Lunarisse*]

Hi hi!

This is Luna and welcome to my thread! ;A;/
I'm a new member in both dA and here so I'm not upadted really...I actually just heard these sites a short while ago.

Anyways, here are my first artworks! Critiques are greatly appreciated. :>

This is Arden Lutherford, my first oc ever since I'm in grade school. He will be starring as the protagonist in my future webcomic: Ghost Extermination Service.


Clearer image http://fav.me/dbbo4c9


Clearer image http://fav.me/dbbo79m


Clearer image http://fav.me/dbbo7tr

This one is a contest entry but sadly, I didn't win. lol

Clearer image http://fav.me/dbawcp4


I want to help my mother pay her medical bills so I need your help by letting me draw your oc for my portfolio! As much as I want to draw anyone though, I'll be limiting myself to 3-5 characters only. Some might end up being chibi too...

Drop down your reference links if you're still interested. Normally for one sprite, it would only take 1-3 days but it might be longer for this one.

Thank you for reading!

[Limabaen]

If you're willing, would you draw this guy? Either version is fine!

Your art is very impressive! To push it to the next level, might I recommend pushing the colours a bit more? Try using darker, more saturated reds for the shadows of the skin and upping the general contrast of the tones. Maybe also avoid using pure black to colour, e.g. the guy's pants. If you'd like, I could try recolour for an example.

[pigionsdeliver]

If you would, I'd like to what you can do with a character from our upcoming VN Seven Districts of Sin.
This is Anzu. A succubus and Governess of the Sixth district of Hell - Wrath. Her personality is unfriendly, catty, stuck up (think Evil Queen)

Critique: There is a stiffness in your pose. I am assuming you already do gesture drawing but if you don't then I think that it will help you with experimenting with cool new poses and giving your characters a feeling of movement and liveliness. I love the coat design it looks really cool and adventurous but I wonder if those shoes are appropriate. In your picture of the girl, the aspects of design go on right through from her shoes to her weapon to her clothes. I'd love to see you do the same for your oc

[YonYonYon]

It would be nice if you drew any of these characters http://yonyonyon.deviantart.com/art/Des ... -654520266
I'll give the info about their personalities if/after your choosing.

As for the critique aside from mentioned stiffness, your sprite's head is way too big for his body. He looks like a baby, and I think you didn't intent that.

For the contest art, you kinda messed with the foreshortening of the legs, now it looks like the raised leg is just too long. I think it's because of the length of the pants and shading

[Lunarisse*]

If you're willing, would you draw this guy? Either version is fine!

ref1_by_chance_lla-dapbmd8.jpg

Your art is very impressive! To push it to the next level, might I recommend pushing the colours a bit more? Try using darker, more saturated reds for the shadows of the skin and upping the general contrast of the tones. Maybe also avoid using pure black to colour, e.g. the guy's pants. If you'd like, I could try recolour for an example.

Could you show it to me please? And is it bad?
Anyway, here's your guy...kind messed up because I forgot the thing in his clothes...

[Lunarisse*]

If you would, I'd like to what you can do with a character from our upcoming VN Seven Districts of Sin.
This is Anzu. A succubus and Governess of the Sixth district of Hell - Wrath. Her personality is unfriendly, catty, stuck up (think Evil Queen)

Critique: There is a stiffness in your pose. I am assuming you already do gesture drawing but if you don't then I think that it will help you with experimenting with cool new poses and giving your characters a feeling of movement and liveliness. I love the coat design it looks really cool and adventurous but I wonder if those shoes are appropriate. In your picture of the girl, the aspects of design go on right through from her shoes to her weapon to her clothes. I'd love to see you do the same for your oc

No I haven't done the gesture drawing yet, do you have any tips? And thank you for pointing out his shoes because I too feel icky about it but I think I'll change his outfit entirely because I saw a similar one and I don't want to be accused of plagiarism. >A<

Your oc is so beautiful by the way! The thing with her hair, are those her ears?

[Lunarisse*]

It would be nice if you drew any of these characters http://yonyonyon.deviantart.com/art/Des ... -654520266
I'll give the info about their personalities if/after your choosing.

As for the critique aside from mentioned stiffness, your sprite's head is way too big for his body. He looks like a baby, and I think you didn't intent that.

For the contest art, you kinda messed with the foreshortening of the legs, now it looks like the raised leg is just too long. I think it's because of the length of the pants and shading

I love the red guy! Do they all have super powers?
Yeah, I didn't intend to do it. ;A; Thank you for telling me that!

I'm confused with your critique about the legs though, sorry English isn't my mother tongue.

[Lunarisse*]

[REQUESTS CLOSED]

[pigionsdeliver]

If you would, I'd like to what you can do with a character from our upcoming VN Seven Districts of Sin.
This is Anzu. A succubus and Governess of the Sixth district of Hell - Wrath. Her personality is unfriendly, catty, stuck up (think Evil Queen)

Critique: There is a stiffness in your pose. I am assuming you already do gesture drawing but if you don't then I think that it will help you with experimenting with cool new poses and giving your characters a feeling of movement and liveliness. I love the coat design it looks really cool and adventurous but I wonder if those shoes are appropriate. In your picture of the girl, the aspects of design go on right through from her shoes to her weapon to her clothes. I'd love to see you do the same for your oc

No I haven't done the gesture drawing yet, do you have any tips?

I'm not an artist. I just like art. So I've attached some youtube videos on the topic. I don't know how useful these tips will be [you're a much better artist than I'll ever be ] ...but I hope they get you started at least.
Top tips... hmmm, keep them short. I usually do a 1-2 min/per pose but it can get shorter or longer but probably not more than ten mins. Any longer and it's hard to fight the temptation to add details in. It's important to remember the focus of the exercise so that you get the most out of them and not get sidetracked into "creating a masterpiece".
If you are drawing gestures for 20mins ONLY draw gestures and focus on that. After the time [if I feel like it] I choose one or two to develop further which can be really fun.
Choosing good references Using athletes and dancers are great to start with. Circus performs are fun too. Try to use a real life reference picture where you can SEE the movement and that will help you get the most out of it. In the Sycra video, he uses this site for references REFERENCE

Proko- Short, very easy to understand and explains the concept well. [Start here]
Sycra- Mid length, can be dry but gives lots of different examples.
Istebrek- Long, goes into a lot of detail [long videos] but you can learn a wide variety of things in just one video.

And thank you for pointing out his shoes because I too feel icky about it but I think I'll change his outfit entirely because I saw a similar one and I don't want to be accused of plagiarism. >A<
Your OC is so beautiful by the way! The thing with her hair, are those her ears?

Ahh, thank you. And yes, they are ears. I obviously didn't draw her, Holikrepis the artist... you can actually see the whole cast on her page there. She did a fantastic job! I just hope the writing lives up to the art. She set the bar really high though so... super nervous.

[Lunarisse*]

I'm not an artist. I just like art. So I've attached some youtube videos on the topic. I don't know how useful these tips will be [you're a much better artist than I'll ever be ] ...but I hope they get you started at least.
Top tips... hmmm, keep them short. I usually do a 1-2 min/per pose but it can get shorter or longer but probably not more than ten mins. Any longer and it's hard to fight the temptation to add details in. It's important to remember the focus of the exercise so that you get the most out of them and not get sidetracked into "creating a masterpiece".
If you are drawing gestures for 20mins ONLY draw gestures and focus on that. After the time [if I feel like it] I choose one or two to develop further which can be really fun.
Choosing good references Using athletes and dancers are great to start with. Circus performs are fun too. Try to use a real life reference picture where you can SEE the movement and that will help you get the most out of it. In the Sycra video, he uses this site for references REFERENCE

Proko- Short, very easy to understand and explains the concept well. [Start here]
Sycra- Mid length, can be dry but gives lots of different examples.
Istebrek- Long, goes into a lot of detail [long videos] but you can learn a wide variety of things in just one video.

Ahh, thank you. And yes, they are ears. I obviously didn't draw her, Holikrepis the artist... you can actually see the whole cast on her page there. She did a fantastic job! I just hope the writing lives up to the art. She set the bar really high though so... super nervous.

Thank you so much for the references. I will check them out! For now, here's Anzu. Hope you like my art ;A;

[puppetbomb]

For the contest art, you kinda messed with the foreshortening of the legs, now it looks like the raised leg is just too long. I think it's because of the length of the pants and shading

I'm confused with your critique about the legs though, sorry English isn't my mother tongue.

I did a quick and dirty edit of the image to show what YonYonYon was talking about. Linking images side-by-side for reference:



1) Raised up the knee. It IS possible to have the knee where you currently drew it, but the hip would need to twist more to get it there.

2) Since you're looking mostly at a top angle, you wouldn't see the heel of the shoe.

3) Enlarged the hand. I'm almost positive that the size you drew your hand is more realistic, but you can add a lot of drama and interest in your pieces if you exaggerate a little more

Also, your colors are very light, so I suggest coloring fire with a more yellows and whites

4) Lightened the background to bring a little more focus to the face llD

Also, I have a question that helps me give critique: What do you want to improve, and what do you want to do with your art?

[Lunarisse*]

For the contest art, you kinda messed with the foreshortening of the legs, now it looks like the raised leg is just too long. I think it's because of the length of the pants and shading

I'm confused with your critique about the legs though, sorry English isn't my mother tongue.

I did a quick and dirty edit of the image to show what YonYonYon was talking about. Linking images side-by-side for reference:



1) Raised up the knee. It IS possible to have the knee where you currently drew it, but the hip would need to twist more to get it there.

2) Since you're looking mostly at a top angle, you wouldn't see the heel of the shoe.

3) Enlarged the hand. I'm almost positive that the size you drew your hand is more realistic, but you can add a lot of drama and interest in your pieces if you exaggerate a little more

Also, your colors are very light, so I suggest coloring fire with a more yellows and whites

4) Lightened the background to bring a little more focus to the face llD

Also, I have a question that helps me give critique: What do you want to improve, and what do you want to do with your art?

Ahhhh thank you so much for clarifying!!!
Do you want a cheeb?

To answer your questions, what I want to improve is everything that makes a drawing lively. I do know how to draw but don't know how to execute it well...

My ultimate goal is to become a webcomic artist so anatomy, weight, perspective, mood, etc. need to be mastered, or at least, done right. I believe doing sprites and cgs would give me some experience. ;A;

[YonYonYon]

Yeah, Puppetbomb did a good job. Also, sorry, I was out of the internet to respond sooner.

If you want to become a webcomics artist, I'd advice to draw comics even if you think you're not good enough. While drawing sprites and cgs is an experience, you won't learn page layout and how to place characters in panels while drawing them. Also, don't forget speech bubbles placement and viewer's eye movements.

For comics, Scott McCloud's books Understanding Comics and Making Comics are the best.

[Limabaen]

Anyway, here's your guy...kind messed up because I forgot the thing in his clothes...

Thank you so much for drawing him! He looks great! Don't worry about the outfit, I forget my own oc's details all the time haha.

Could you show it to me please? And is it bad?

Your colouring is definitely not bad! There's just several stylistic choices I think you could make that would make it better is all.
Here's a (rather sloppy) edit:

I could have made the contrast more distinct, but tried to stick to your style as much as possible
- I upped the saturation of his shirt
- Added a grey-brown to his pants
- Made the shadows on his skin more prominent
- Added a light source

Is there a particular style you're aiming for? As you can probably see, I'm a fan of vivid colours, and that'd be a problem if you were aiming for something, say, soft and pastel-ly.

[Lunarisse*]

Yeah, Puppetbomb did a good job. Also, sorry, I was out of the internet to respond sooner.

If you want to become a webcomics artist, I'd advice to draw comics even if you think you're not good enough. While drawing sprites and cgs is an experience, you won't learn page layout and how to place characters in panels while drawing them. Also, don't forget speech bubbles placement and viewer's eye movements.

For comics, Scott McCloud's books Understanding Comics and Making Comics are the best.

Will do!
But for now, I think I need to be a vn artist for money.

Checking scott now...