Critique needed, please~

[Cirrocumulus-Cloud]

Hey there! I am currently working on a visual novel where the main focus is motorbike racing.
The characters all have pretty hard shadows since I can work better with hard shading in action scenes.

I'm mostly looking for opinions regarding:

- The clothes (and if they look correct.)
- The colour of the clothes (if you think they don't clash.)
- How you would describe the characters from a first glance (what you imagine their personality to be.)
- If you think the poses look alright.
- If you like the style as a whole.

So far, I've got these two ready:

The Main Character, Rika:


The Non-Binary Racing Star, Akira/"Ace":


As well as the mascot, Nothing:

[puppetbomb]

- The clothes (and if they look correct.)
I would need context to be able to critique if the clothes are "correct". What is the tone/setting/genre of your VN?

- The colour of the clothes (if you think they don't clash.)
I'm assuming your color palette is very muted, so I suggest Rika's lighter jeans to be even more desaturated than it is right now. It may end up very close to grey, but greys in general are cooler colors. Ace's red accent on their shirt could possibly use a little but more desaturation, but not too much IMO.

Nothing's face may be hard to see since the face and lines are both black. Maybe add markings or lighten his color? (This is more of a character design thing, but I felt it should be mentioned)

- How you would describe the characters from a first glance (what you imagine their personality to be.)
Rika feels more of a mature/confident person. Ace, a maverick that might be an asshole. Nothing is a good doggo.

- If you think the poses look alright.
They are on the stiff side. Studying and doing gestures will help, but it's something that will require time and dedication to build up.

For now, lower I suggest lowering Rika's shoulders (I understand this will make you redraw her arms. Such is life ;n;). Raised shoulders are usually read as a sign of stress/anxiousness/defensiveness. From what I can infer from Rika, I'm guessing she's not that kind of character.

Also, Rika and Ace's poses are pretty similar. Can you think of another pose for Rika or Ace that could convey their character/attitude?

- If you like the style as a whole.
It's not my aesthetic, but I fell it has appeal.

[Imperf3kt]

Personally, I have a few things stick out.
Mainly, those noses. They don't look natural.

I hope you don't take this as an insult, but the poses need some work. They're not bad, but they don't look natural either. I think its the thigh gap / angle of the legs.

Rika's jeans. The flat line across the front is making Rika look like she has a square stomach, you might want to give it some curvature.

Overall I like Ace's coloring better, but both are fine enough.

Rika gives me the impression of a friendly girl who's a bit rough around the edges and somewhat confident.
Ace looks a bit like a rebel but not overly so, willing to take risks and probably overly confident.
A bit smug and probably mouths off a lot or acts first, and thinks second - getting into fights a lot.

The dog looks great to me.

[Cirrocumulus-Cloud]

- The clothes (and if they look correct.)
I would need context to be able to critique if the clothes are "correct". What is the tone/setting/genre of your VN?

- The colour of the clothes (if you think they don't clash.)
I'm assuming your color palette is very muted, so I suggest Rika's lighter jeans to be even more desaturated than it is right now. It may end up very close to grey, but greys in general are cooler colors. Ace's red accent on their shirt could possibly use a little but more desaturation, but not too much IMO.

Nothing's face may be hard to see since the face and lines are both black. Maybe add markings or lighten his color? (This is more of a character design thing, but I felt it should be mentioned)

- How you would describe the characters from a first glance (what you imagine their personality to be.)
Rika feels more of a mature/confident person. Ace, a maverick that might be an asshole. Nothing is a good doggo.

- If you think the poses look alright.
They are on the stiff side. Studying and doing gestures will help, but it's something that will require time and dedication to build up.

For now, lower I suggest lowering Rika's shoulders (I understand this will make you redraw her arms. Such is life ;n;). Raised shoulders are usually read as a sign of stress/anxiousness/defensiveness. From what I can infer from Rika, I'm guessing she's not that kind of character.

Also, Rika and Ace's poses are pretty similar. Can you think of another pose for Rika or Ace that could convey their character/attitude?

- If you like the style as a whole.
It's not my aesthetic, but I fell it has appeal.

1. Oh, I meant if the folds/crinkles look alright. I'm not that great at making folds look realistic, so if you have some advice for me that would be great!

2. Yeah, the colour palette is mostly muted - since the game takes place in a rundown town I feel it wouldn't be right to use colours that 'pop' too much. I'll change the saturation a bit, see how it looks. =)

I tried to make Nothing's coat lighter before, but it ends up being not black enough. I see what I can do, though!

3. It's good to see that their personalities come through! While Ace isn't a straight up asshole, they ARE very prideful and over confident.

4. I know, I'm not sure how to portray movement in poses that the reader will look at for a long time without the characters looking like they might not be able to hold up the pose for a long time. I mostly struggle with this when it comes to poses from the front. Side views I tend to struggle with to a lesser extent.

I definitely will try to redraw Rika's arms, though! Maybe that will help with the pose looking less stiff. Oh, the characters all have a multitude of poses in the end, so I feel it is okay to keep this pose for Rika. Both are confident characters, after all. Some other characters still in the works have very different poses compared to these two. =)

5. Ah, I can see how people wouldn't really LIKE like it. But it's good to know that it at least seems to look unique. (I hope I understood you right.)

[Cirrocumulus-Cloud]

Personally, I have a few things stick out.
Mainly, those noses. They don't look natural.

I hope you don't take this as an insult, but the poses need some work. They're not bad, but they don't look natural either. I think its the thigh gap / angle of the legs.

Rika's jeans. The flat line across the front is making Rika look like she has a square stomach, you might want to give it some curvature.

Overall I like Ace's coloring better, but both are fine enough.

Rika gives me the impression of a friendly girl who's a bit rough around the edges and somewhat confident.
Ace looks a bit like a rebel but not overly so, willing to take risks and probably overly confident.
A bit smug and probably mouths off a lot or acts first, and thinks second - getting into fights a lot.

The dog looks great to me.

I can understand how you wouldn't like the noses, but those are simply my style. Heavily stylised as they might be, I think they look better than simple dots or a straight line. (However if you think they look straight up wrong I could try a slightly different approach and show you those to see if it looks more natural.)

Ah, no! I want to improve, after all. I'm not that great with dynamic poses yet, especially from a straight front view. What do you think I could do to improve the legs of these two without redrawing the entire pose? (Akira should have a bit of a thigh gap, though. But I can see how it could be considered too much.

Okay! Will improve her jeans. =) Legs in general still give me some problems. But hey, I can only improve, right?

Oh, it's great that their personalities do come out! So at least I didn't screw up there, heh. ^-^

Thank you! I don't draw dogs often, so that is great to hear.

[Imperf3kt]

Ah, no! I want to improve, after all. I'm not that great with dynamic poses yet, especially from a straight front view. What do you think I could do to improve the legs of these two without redrawing the entire pose? (Akira should have a bit of a thigh gap, though. But I can see how it could be considered too much.

I think the most glaring thing about her legs, is there's almost no defined curves.
The jeans look close to skin tight and your folds / tears etc look well placed and managed, but her legs lack volume. The outside is pretty much good, but her calves are almost non-existent. Looking at the inside of Rika's legs, it's almost straight, like an A

Take this gif as an example.


Or maybe it's just the angle of her foot. I'm not that great an art critic.

[puppetbomb]

1. Oh, I meant if the folds/crinkles look alright. I'm not that great at making folds look realistic, so if you have some advice for me that would be great!

4. I know, I'm not sure how to portray movement in poses that the reader will look at for a long time without the characters looking like they might not be able to hold up the pose for a long time. I mostly struggle with this when it comes to poses from the front. Side views I tend to struggle with to a lesser extent.

5. Ah, I can see how people wouldn't really LIKE like it. But it's good to know that it at least seems to look unique. (I hope I understood you right.)

1)


Camisoles/tank tops usually don't have that many folds since the material tends to stretch. You can do an image search in Google for camisoles and find that even loose ones don't usually have very many folds. For pants, folds around the pelvis and knees will almost always be present unless the clothing is loose and/or slippery fabrics (like basketball shorts).

Don't be afraid to use references!


4) You don't need to add action to a pose to make it look more dynamic.

Making poses look natural and dynamic isn't a skill that isn't learned overnight. While I suggest that you don't worry about that right now, it IS something I think it is a skill worth learning and improving, given that the attitudes you can convey with the faces alone are already quite good.

Basically, don't put your project on hold to level up your gesture drawings.


5) Oh I meant that your style will appeal to a demographic of people who like your style (more realistic proportions, muted palette. Kind of like Ghost in the Shell or Satoshi Kon's style). Personally I like a more graphic style (like Shirou Miwa or Yoh Yoshinari).

Sorry, I didn't mean to convey that people wouldn't like it ^^;;;;