Feedback for handsome butler

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Steamgirl
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Feedback for handsome butler

#1 Post by Steamgirl » Wed Sep 20, 2017 6:14 pm

Hello!

I am trying to learn how to draw handsome men in typical otome game style. This is probably the best I've managed so far, but I feel like I'm still not quite there.

Ignoring the lack of shading on the clothes, is there anything you feel is off about the face? Feel free to redline.

Image

Thanks in advance for your time!

EDIT: Update

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EDIT: Final (?) Artwork Thanks To Your Feedback

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Last edited by Steamgirl on Wed Nov 01, 2017 6:19 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: Feedback for handsome butler

#2 Post by puppetbomb » Fri Sep 22, 2017 5:35 pm

Maybe shift the mouth down more? It's a good likeness of an otome kind of style IMO. I feel like the proportions of the face are good :3

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Re: Feedback for handsome butler

#3 Post by rito » Fri Sep 22, 2017 6:50 pm

I agree about the mouth, it could be a little lower on the face. Otherwise the main thing I'd point out is the coloring feels flat, with not enough contrast. I know you didn't ask about that, but even a good drawing can be brought down by less good coloring, so do try working on it for maximum otome-ness!
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Re: Feedback for handsome butler

#4 Post by Limabaen » Fri Sep 22, 2017 10:00 pm

I think you did a pretty good job. I've attached an edit of what I believe would make it even more "otome" looking (ignore the white lines plz)
OMUf5RB.jpg
- Made head smaller
- Eyes narrower
- Gradient to lower half of face
- Made lineart dark red in some parts to soften it
- Hair is more "chunky"
- Removed the upwards quirk of the lips
- More saturated colours for shading

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Re: Feedback for handsome butler

#5 Post by sasquatchii » Sat Sep 23, 2017 3:17 pm

This looks really nice!! I love his face, his hair, & his eyes. I think all of these things (combined with his sense of fashion) gives you a really good glimpse into who he is & what he's all about at a glance.

I'd like to echo other users & say that one thing you could improve on would be his clothes (which are a bit flat as others have already said). If you look at pictures of other otome characters like the ones below you'll see that the character's faces are usually flatter whereas the clothes tend to have more detail.

Image

Image

It might help to ask yourself, where would his suit crease and fold? Where is your light source coming from, and how would that affect the colors on his jacket? If possible, look up photo references as well of men in suits with similar lighting.

Another thing you could do would be to add a bit more shading/contrast to his face, as Limabaen already suggested & did!

Good luck with your characters and your art!! Looking forward to seeing what you create next :)
ImageImage

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Re: Feedback for handsome butler

#6 Post by PastelWolf88 » Sun Sep 24, 2017 4:23 am

I am here just to compliment the hair. It looks. so. nice.

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Re: Feedback for handsome butler

#7 Post by Steamgirl » Mon Sep 25, 2017 6:14 pm

Thanks so much for all the feedback! I have started on version 2 of the butler, taking on board all the comments. :)

Image

I have adjusted his face as suggested, with smaller features and stronger shading. I didn't put any highlights in for now, but may come back to that once his clothes are fully finished. As for the hair, I think I'm happy with it as is, although like the skin, I might do a pass once the clothes are finished. (And thanks for the compliment, PastelWolf88! It means a lot, as I think hair is the one aspect of my art that I feel I've worked on the most over the years.)

Does it feel like the mouth needs shifting down more? And do I shift the nose with it?

Pardon the rough lines on his clothes, I tend to do a rough sketch and then correct as I go. (The hand especially :shock:)

Anyway, I look forward to sharing the final work!

Thanks again for giving your thoughts, puppetbomb, rito, Limabaen, and sas! It definitely helped me become "unstuck" and unsure how to bring the style closer to what you see in otome games. I knew something wasn't quite right but I couldn't put my finger on it! :)

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Re: Feedback for handsome butler

#8 Post by morinoir » Tue Sep 26, 2017 12:53 am

edit.jpg
I hope you don't mind me scribbling on your drawing, because it's easier to explain this way.
  • One thing I realized the most is that his chin is very pointy. Even on bishonen style, male character is still drawn with rectangular chin. Sasquatchii['s examples are good references. It'll be even better to add subtle angle to his face shape, especially just under his ears, to add more masculinity.
  • The angle of his shoulder is too low, and that makes him look like he's slouching. Also by adding curve to his arm, it'll look like he has some muscles under those suit. But if you prefer more lean character, those Ju Min picture is a good example.
  • I see you didn't draw his collar correctly (and mine may not 100% correct either) so make sure you collect enough reference and use them.
  • His hand also need tp be fixed. Again, use reference.
  • Also, flipping your drawing can make you see flaws that you didn't see before. It may be a good idea to turn it into a habit.
I hope that helps! Can't wait to see the finished picture!
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Re: Feedback for handsome butler

#9 Post by Steamgirl » Tue Sep 26, 2017 5:58 pm

Thanks morinoir! After looking through a ton of reference from various otome games, I think I managed a slightly less pointy chin, haha! I think my "natural" style tends to go towards a broader chin than otoge style, so I overcompensated by going a bit too pointy, haha! I will look at it again tomorrow and see how it compares against reference, tweak it from there. So hard to see that stuff sometimes. I love flipping my canvas (especially with Sai on H)! Great art advice that too many artists ignore at their own peril, hehe. :)

Image

Anyway, more progress... a rough on top of my rough rough. :D And a few clean lines for the collar, which I just realised may be a bit too wide at the top.
I fixed the hand but it's probably too small? I will have to look at it again with fresh eyes tomorrow morning.

For anyone curious, I am using this Victorian butler design (on the left) as partial reference. I really like the collar design on it, not something you see much these days. I think I need to make the top part come in a bit narrower though.

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Re: Feedback for handsome butler

#10 Post by Steamgirl » Thu Sep 28, 2017 6:03 pm

Image

More progress on the lineart. I'm pretty happy with it, but not sure if the hand is too big? Or too fat? The lower thumb joint is also a little inelegant...
Any thoughts/feedback on the lineart would be appreciated!! <3

I ended up tweaking the head and mouth slightly as Limabaen suggested, not sure if that changed his personality too much though???

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Re: Feedback for handsome butler

#11 Post by King-sama » Sun Oct 01, 2017 10:53 pm

This new smile look better, the previous one looked like he was faking it
But, his eyes still seem to me like he's day dreaming (looking above) instead of straight

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Re: Feedback for handsome butler

#12 Post by Steamgirl » Tue Oct 03, 2017 6:35 pm

Thanks King-sama! You're right, for a sprite it's better to look straight at camera. I don't know how I overlooked that!! :)

Image

Lineart is finally finished! Phew!
I also changed the eyes so they look straight ahead.

Aaaaand I just realised I forgot to fix one last thing with the collar. Oh well - it won't take long at least!

Now, time to go to bed!!

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Re: Feedback for handsome butler

#13 Post by Taleweaver » Thu Oct 12, 2017 2:16 am

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Re: Feedback for handsome butler

#14 Post by Steamgirl » Thu Oct 12, 2017 4:02 am

Thanks Taleweaver! My bad for missing the sub folder!

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Re: Feedback for handsome butler

#15 Post by Steamgirl » Wed Nov 01, 2017 6:20 pm

Ok, I think I'm just about finished (?) - Thanks everyone for all your feedback! I definitely could not have done this without you!!

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