My First OC, Looking for honest feedback.

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YaminoOkami
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My First OC, Looking for honest feedback.

#1 Post by YaminoOkami » Thu Nov 09, 2017 9:53 pm

Hi all,

Some time ego I opened a tread asking for feedback on my art and I was very satisfied with feedback I can get here, but back then I still only copied other people's characters and now that I draw my first original character, I come back looking for some more feedback :) .

Name: Rie
Age: Appears as 16
Gender: Female
Personality: Cold and Composed, others see her as cool and a bit mysterious, likes to stick to herself and doesn't often show emotions but can get very passionate from time to time, especially when it comes to her younger twin sister.

Image

Here are other facial expressions:
Happy & Angry
https://image.ibb.co/bFUjvw/Untitled_5.png
Embarrassed & Sad
https://image.ibb.co/gfHhhb/Untitled_4.png

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GrammaHobbes
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Re: My First OC, Looking for honest feedback.

#2 Post by GrammaHobbes » Fri Nov 10, 2017 5:58 am

I very much like the characters coloring you did, they're vibrate and clean- but simple. As for your first OC you did very good, I never seen anyone have a character like this, so that's great. The first step to good Ocs is originality.

The only one critique I have is, between the gaps of her legs, if it is a robe she's wearing it would also go in the back of her legs as well you wouldn't be able to see through- however if it's part of her pants and I'm just assuming that it's a robe- everything looks fine... And don't listen to me, keep practicing, and you'll continue to grow, you'll find your own style, and can't wait for what you put out. 😀

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Re: My First OC, Looking for honest feedback.

#3 Post by Steamgirl » Fri Nov 10, 2017 6:28 am

It's a good start! You paid attention to all the important details, like folds in the arms and buttons, shadow. The proportions also look pretty good, although the hands may be a little on the small side (can be stylistic though). Kudos for drawing them in interesting positions - they flow naturally from the wrist.

It's really good that you're thinking of hair as volumes rather than individual strands. A lot of artists starting out try to draw every strand and that can quickly become messy. However, I think in this particular drawing the hair at the back looks almost a little too clumped together. The bangs look more natural. Consider curving the ends at the back down a bit with gravity, so it looks like the hair is being blown back by the wind like a sail. I think if you made the ends more tapered like the front bang on the left, it would also help.

Maybe this image/tutorial might give you some ideas. You can see how the hair billows and tapers. ^_^
I am not suggesting you copy the hairstyle or anything but sometimes an image speaks a thousand words.
https://saviroosje.deviantart.com/art/S ... -549074053

What I like about the OC is that she looks unique. You did a good job on the expressions too, I can see how her cool and mysterious character is reflected in each one! They are suitably subtle and controlled. I also like the trousers being a different colour at the back! I think if the base colour of the dark part was a bit lighter it would be easier to see the detail you put in the folds on the trousers.

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Re: My First OC, Looking for honest feedback.

#4 Post by YaminoOkami » Fri Nov 10, 2017 2:36 pm

GrammaHobbes wrote:
Fri Nov 10, 2017 5:58 am
The only one critique I have is, between the gaps of her legs, if it is a robe she's wearing it would also go in the back of her legs as well you wouldn't be able to see through-
You are completely right, I somehow missed coloring that part :oops: , thanks for pointing it out, and thanks for feedback.
It's also nice knowing someone is looking forward to what I am gonna make, so I'l let you on on a little secret, I plan to continue making OCs and if everything goes the right way I plan to make a free VN in a not so far future, I find that way to be a nice balance between practicing and putting something out there at a same time.

Steamgirl wrote:
Fri Nov 10, 2017 6:28 am
It's a good start! You paid attention to all the important details, like folds in the arms and buttons, shadow. The proportions also look pretty good, although the hands may be a little on the small side (can be stylistic though). Kudos for drawing them in interesting positions - they flow naturally from the wrist.

It's really good that you're thinking of hair as volumes rather than individual strands. A lot of artists starting out try to draw every strand and that can quickly become messy. However, I think in this particular drawing the hair at the back looks almost a little too clumped together. The bangs look more natural. Consider curving the ends at the back down a bit with gravity, so it looks like the hair is being blown back by the wind like a sail. I think if you made the ends more tapered like the front bang on the left, it would also help.

Maybe this image/tutorial might give you some ideas. You can see how the hair billows and tapers. ^_^
I am not suggesting you copy the hairstyle or anything but sometimes an image speaks a thousand words.
https://saviroosje.deviantart.com/art/S ... -549074053

What I like about the OC is that she looks unique. You did a good job on the expressions too, I can see how her cool and mysterious character is reflected in each one! They are suitably subtle and controlled. I also like the trousers being a different colour at the back! I think if the base colour of the dark part was a bit lighter it would be easier to see the detail you put in the folds on the trousers.
Thanks for feedback,

Now that you pointed it out I do see how I could have improved hair at an end, thanks for pointing it out.

As for hands, while I did practice drawing hands since your last feedback and got closer to what I want to draw them like I am still trying to figure out exactly how I want to draw them, but I do know I want them to be a lot more on stylized side (A good example of style for hands and feet I like would be style like in Hyperdimension Neptunia games) so I think it is ok for hands and feet to be a bit on a smaller side, true I am still working on those. Generally I am aiming for style in between/combination of super cute moe and a cooler chuuni style.

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Re: My First OC, Looking for honest feedback.

#5 Post by Steamgirl » Fri Nov 10, 2017 4:08 pm

If you're looking for the style in Hyperdimension Neptunia, their hand proportion of fingertip-to-wrist is approximately chin-to-eyebrow, whereas "realistic" hands tend to be chin-to-hairline size (test it yourself, if you're a teenager or older, it's likely you can just almost reach your hairline if you put the bottom of your palm to your chin).

The chin-to-eyebrow proportion is the smallest real humans get - babies. My theory is: less than that looks oddly small to people, but that's just my theory. In your case, you're chin-to-top-eyelash size, which is only a little less than the Hyperdimension Neptunia size. I find the face/hand comparison for hand proportions really useful in my own drawings, especially stylised ones, because it helps keep them consistent between characters and also if I draw a character from different perspectives (eg CGs).

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Re: My First OC, Looking for honest feedback.

#6 Post by GrammaHobbes » Fri Nov 10, 2017 4:56 pm

No problem- anytime you need advice I can help :P

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Re: My First OC, Looking for honest feedback.

#7 Post by YaminoOkami » Fri Nov 10, 2017 5:03 pm

Steamgirl wrote:
Fri Nov 10, 2017 4:08 pm
If you're looking for the style in Hyperdimension Neptunia, their hand proportion of fingertip-to-wrist is approximately chin-to-eyebrow, whereas "realistic" hands tend to be chin-to-hairline size (test it yourself, if you're a teenager or older, it's likely you can just almost reach your hairline if you put the bottom of your palm to your chin).

The chin-to-eyebrow proportion is the smallest real humans get - babies. My theory is: less than that looks oddly small to people, but that's just my theory. In your case, you're chin-to-top-eyelash size, which is only a little less than the Hyperdimension Neptunia size. I find the face/hand comparison for hand proportions really useful in my own drawings, especially stylised ones, because it helps keep them consistent between characters and also if I draw a character from different perspectives (eg CGs).
Oh it's true, my tip of middle finger to wrist is exactly chin-to-hairline size :!: I never knew about that.
This is definitely going to be helpful as up till now I didn't really have anything to measure size of hands and had simply based size on general observation, thanks for letting me know about this.

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Re: My First OC, Looking for honest feedback.

#8 Post by sasquatchii » Sat Nov 11, 2017 8:12 pm

I love how expressive she is! You said you were going for cold, composed, mysterious, and you nailed it!! I feel like you can glean those things about her right away from her facial expression and her body language.

The one thing I would advise being mindful of is her pose. At the moment, it seems a little stiff and rigid. That may or may not be intentional- but if it is intentional, feel free to ignore everything that follows this sentence!

I hope you don't mind, but I did a quick sketch to highlight a few things you could work on to make her stance feel a little more natural.

One thing I've noticed watching people is that men (and I'm generalizing here) tend to stand with their shoulders pulled up higher and their legs farther apart. This often communicates confidence, strength, comfort, or even discomfort/dominance depending on how they are holding themselves.

Women tend to be a bit more relaxed in their posture, with their legs closer together and their shoulders more sloped/relaxed. I noticed that on your OC, her legs are farther apart than the norm you usually see on how women stand (again, painting with very broad strokes here), and her shoulders are held high. If you were going for a more boyish/confident type, then that's great! If you wanted her to seem a bit more relaxed, feminine, or natural, I would advise giving her hips and thighs, sloping her shoulders slightly downward, and having her legs be a bit closer together.

One other thing I noticed on your OC was the hands. I think they are slightly smaller than the norm. If you are going for a more childlike character, then small hands is one way to show youth. I made her hands larger on my sketch - to make her look a bit older/more mature. I also looked @ photo references for the hands - and advise you do the same for hands, postures, body language, facial expressions, clothes, everything really! Photo references are a great way to draw inspiration and understand how things work.

I hope you continue with your OC and your art!! It is really quite nice and you did well :)

Image
ImageImageImage

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Re: My First OC, Looking for honest feedback.

#9 Post by YaminoOkami » Sat Nov 11, 2017 11:34 pm

sasquatchii wrote:
Sat Nov 11, 2017 8:12 pm
I love how expressive she is! You said you were going for cold, composed, mysterious, and you nailed it!! I feel like you can glean those things about her right away from her facial expression and her body language.

The one thing I would advise being mindful of is her pose. At the moment, it seems a little stiff and rigid. That may or may not be intentional- but if it is intentional, feel free to ignore everything that follows this sentence!

I hope you don't mind, but I did a quick sketch to highlight a few things you could work on to make her stance feel a little more natural.

One thing I've noticed watching people is that men (and I'm generalizing here) tend to stand with their shoulders pulled up higher and their legs farther apart. This often communicates confidence, strength, comfort, or even discomfort/dominance depending on how they are holding themselves.

Women tend to be a bit more relaxed in their posture, with their legs closer together and their shoulders more sloped/relaxed. I noticed that on your OC, her legs are farther apart than the norm you usually see on how women stand (again, painting with very broad strokes here), and her shoulders are held high. If you were going for a more boyish/confident type, then that's great! If you wanted her to seem a bit more relaxed, feminine, or natural, I would advise giving her hips and thighs, sloping her shoulders slightly downward, and having her legs be a bit closer together.

One other thing I noticed on your OC was the hands. I think they are slightly smaller than the norm. If you are going for a more childlike character, then small hands is one way to show youth. I made her hands larger on my sketch - to make her look a bit older/more mature. I also looked @ photo references for the hands - and advise you do the same for hands, postures, body language, facial expressions, clothes, everything really! Photo references are a great way to draw inspiration and understand how things work.

I hope you continue with your OC and your art!! It is really quite nice and you did well :)

Image
Thanks for feedback,

I am glad people are saying her expressions fit her personality, I did try but being the one drawing it's a bit hard to tell if it's just me knowing her personality and thinking about what that expression is suppose to be like or if other people will see it too.

I don't mind at all, in fact I appreciate advice's.

It was not intentional, when I was thinking about pose, I was simply thinking what pose I think would suit the character but I did not know about those details, it was more of a feeling that that pose would be good for her. That said now that I know about those details, it might not be that far off as she is definitely confident tipe and when I was thinking about what kind of casual clothes she would ware (As in drawing above she is in her uniform) I was thinking she probably wouldn't pay too much attention to her clothes and would ware something "normal" and not too girly. She does have a feminine side to her witch I tried to point out with shape and pose of her fingers/hands but like her emotions she doesen't often show that side of herself and generally is more of a strong tipe.

As for her hands and hips being smaller this was intentional, true for different reasons. I always try to draw hands and feet very stylish and dool-like and not very real-life-human-like because.... to be honest I really don't like how real life humans hands and feet look like... and i really like how dool-like hand and feet look like (Yea I know I am weird :mrgreen: ). That said it does seem like I made hands a bit too small, Steamgirl already commented on that and teached me how to properly measure hands and get them the size I want them. As for hips, I simply don't like very curve-y characters so I tend to draw characters that don't have much curves and are slimer (Just thing of preferences), true I am still searching for a right way to draw hips that are neater big/curve-y and nether too slim that they look weird.

Thanks for letting me know about those details regarding pose.

I am definitely going to continue with my OCs, in fact right now I am drawing Rena, Ria's younger twin sister that I mentioned, I just made a little break after getting lineart and base color done.

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Re: My First OC, Looking for honest feedback.

#10 Post by YaminoOkami » Sun Nov 12, 2017 10:01 pm

So I finished my second OC, I know title says my first OC, but why not upload a second one here as well. She is a younger twin sister of Rie my first OC.

Nema: Rena
Age: Appears as 16
Gender: Female
Personality: Unlike her older twin sister Rie, Rena is a cheerful and friendly girl that always has a smile on her face, she likes beautiful and romantic things and is always up for spending emotional, intimate and sweet moment with her friends. She secretly has a complex as she thinks she isn't as strong as her older twin and always has to rely on other people for everything, true nobody else sees her that way and she is infact very capable herself.

Image

Here are other facial expressions:
Sad & Very Happy
https://image.ibb.co/i29ysb/Untitled_1.png

Only had done 2 additional facial expressions since I can't imagine her getting embarrassed or angry

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