X-NOTE

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Coren
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Re: X-NOTE

#16 Post by Coren »

And I hope you won't mind if I share a critique. Please don't take it too personally, I really did enjoy the story. It's just one of my opinions.
This story is spectacular, but there's just one thing that bugs me a little - It's about Loil. I did realize that he probably wasn't planned to be the villain from the very beginning, and it's actually noticeable through the game that he seems to be thrown in halfway. What makes a reader most unhappy with a story is when their expectations are let down - In this case, it's about the situation with the black-haired boy in the introduction. Naturally, upon seeing him so many times, the reader is naturally hooked to the twisted prospect of a six-year-old boy committing murder with a straight face, and also the possibility of unraveling his identity and confronting him. Basically, he is portrayed from the very beginning as the main villain.

While plot twists are great, it's only interesting when the twist surpasses expectations. On the other hand, when it actually does not reach expectations, it becomes the complete opposite, and lets the reader down. To players, I'm pretty sure the prospect of a young, cynical boy being the main villain, a psychopathic child who has lost his way and become a twisted, sadistic individual, is a lot more dramatic a story than a creepy pedophile who does not really do anything but scream "I'm evil!". While I'm not saying this is bad per se, the fact remains that the rich underlying story the player expected is not there. Because of this, "X" has turned from a major plot point into just one of the obtainable boys with a sad past. It is actually quite sad when he has so much potential as a character.
Of course, that's just my opinion - feel free to tell me where you believe I might've said wrong. XD I really did like the story, this is just one point I wanted to ask about. Thanks!

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Re: X-NOTE

#17 Post by Mirage »

Sure, that would be really helpful! Can you PM your email so I can send you my next game script? I'm making Area-X now, a game set in the same setting as X-note. Many thanks in advance.

For your questions:
Actually, that's his natural hair color...lol. His hair color used to be dark green, but as he grow older, for whatever reason it became washed out green. Yeah...it's probably the river's fault. XD

As for the other question, it is part of the game design, but it also fits with the story. If you neglect any of the characters (minus Yuon which you can't ignore until chapter 5), that character can't be saved. In case of Oure, he just died. In case of Anon, 99.5% chances he will end his life. So, yeah, if there's any reason of why I didn't mention them in other character's path is because it would be very depressing to know what happen. ^^'''

Originally, I did think of making Oure-Anon path, but it gets way too confusing so I cut that part off. While Anon technically doesn't remember Oure, his subconscious remembers it. His fear of using his power stems from Oure's incident, which is why he didn't use it to save Essi's mother.
Oh, and your last point:
Actually, I really like Loil as a villain than X, to be honest. I'm not sure where people get the idea X is the villain, even from the intro. It was purposely left ambiguous. X fits the mysterious boy role rather than villain.

Perhaps you didn't Loil exciting because he's oh-so-evil, but I actually thought the opposite. Before his appearance, I actually thought the story was rather dry. Let's say if the story is missing him, there would be no climax in Yuon nor Oure's path. Making Anon appears evil in other path would be a giant spoiler to his own path.

I supposed it boils down to what kind of expectation you had. If you are expecting a story of a psychopathic child grown up to be a sadistic killer then it probably will disappoint you.

I'm biased because Loil is one of my most favorite character to write in X-note. My favorite part of the entire story is actually the talk of Loil and Anon. It's so crazily disturbing---like listening to two mad men's conversation. I really love it.
Uwa...that's long. lmao.

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Coren
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Re: X-NOTE

#18 Post by Coren »

Ah, I see. :) It is a personal opinion after all, as I've probably had some less than pleasant experiences with
villains that do not have anything beyond their exterior other than being creepily evil. The fact that he doesn't get any payback at all in any of the paths doesn't help... XD
Anyway, sorry for bombarding you with even more questions... but
I found Anon's resolution and his own way of facing his problems rather strange, mostly when he wanted to jump off the building and end his life. I'm not too sure why he's so convinced that he's a "monster" or anything, since after all, the only murders he ever committed were out of self-defense. In fact, I'm pretty sure he saved a lot more people than he killed. Secondly, even if he does have crazy powers that allows him to kill people, the fact remains that he can control it - he can control whether or not to use it. He can simply choose not to use it, and he can live as a normal human. It's not like he's permanently killing people around himself. XD

And I really liked the Oure/X friendship... ;_; I was actually really sad it wasn't elaborated upon. I was half-expecting Anon to burst in halfway when Essi is running away carrying Oure from Loil, but turns out Rexus appeared instead. XD
Anyway, sorry for all those questions. I'm just really curious. ^^;

Oh, and I've already sent you an email yesterday, and you've sent me a scene to proofread. :) Thanks.

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Re: X-NOTE

#19 Post by Mirage »

While it's true that Loil is definitely super evil, he's far from being one dimensional villain. This is particularly alluded in Anon's path, specifically Anon's bad ending. (The show down between Anon and Loil in that ending is also one of my favorite scenes.)

As for the decision to let Loil escaped in most of the endings is because I wanted to avoid a completely happy end where heroes live happily ever after and the villain gets punished. Seemed too perfect of an ending to me.

Loil did get killed in Anon's bad ending though. lol!
For your other question:
Anon's twisted way of solving things is precisely the root of of his entire problem. While many things are clear to other people, they aren't clear to Anon himself. His mentality and way of thinking have already been twisted as young as he was 6. All that happened to him after that can only escalate him to make irrational decisions. (Such as his point of view of not having a personality...which is clearly nonsense to begin with.)

While he was unable to access most of his memories, his subconscious remembers it. He grew up feeling guilt and disgust to himself without knowing why. All the pressures eventually built up, so it's not strange if he decided to take his life anytime. (Actually the fact he's still alive is amazing in its own way.)

Last but not least, Anon's actually pretty bad at controlling his power compared to Essi. He intended to save Oure, but ended up killing everyone else in the room.
And thanks for helping me! >w< *Hands you e-cookies*

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Coren
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Re: X-NOTE

#20 Post by Coren »

*happily noms e-cookie*

I'll send you the new one latest by tomorrow night. :)

And now, apparently I have another random question XD - Any reason why you chose to make Essi in such early teens? Of course, I don't find it bad, in fact I find it quite refreshing (the young age factor further contributes to the psychological nature of the story, since the emotional abilities of teenagers are particularly unstable at that age). It's just that most of the time, otome rom-coms tend to put their protagonists around 15-17 years of age, while darker themes tend to make the characters even older to appeal to an older audience. X-Note is clearly more of the latter, so it might be possible that actually making the protagonist this young might turn away some older players who tend to make the link "Protagonist's Age = Creator's Age = 14 = Immature and Unable to write a good story", or players who simply don't like playing as a girl who's too young. So I just wanted to ask what spurred that choice. XD

Also, I'm glad there weren't any kissing scenes in the game, regardless of demands from other fans that there should be kissing scenes. Apart from Essi being 14, there's also the factor that they'd really seem forced and out of place, to me at least. Or maybe it's just because I am not much of a romance fan. :D

Anon's bad ending:
Yay for deranged Essi! Frankly, it's understandable why she did that. Feeling so much guilt towards the fact that she indirectly caused the death of a person she cares for, it's natural that a person's mind would, to protect her sanity, morph that guilt into hatred for the direct cause, which seems to have become murderous loathing for Loil.

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Re: X-NOTE

#21 Post by Mirage »

The reason for Essi's age lies in Rexus. I wanted to create an age gap without making Rexus too old (before he looks like a pedophile lmao...) So the age balance that sounds good to me was 14 (Essi) -22 (Rexus). I've long decided that their age gap would be 8 years. According to Chinese zodiac, 8 years difference is compatible. That's why they get along very well.

About kissing scene, yeah...I've gotten quite a lot of people who said the game's only fault is the lack of kiss scene. Which made me face-palm, to be honest... XD

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Re: X-NOTE

#22 Post by Coren »

"Lack of kissing scenes"? Sometimes I have to say I seriously don't understand why people end up thinking that. ^^; I remember how people commented on Frozen Essence that a certain guy's path doesn't have enough romance, when clearly any romance in that path would feel forced and ridiculous as he hated her from the very beginning.

Anyway, I replayed Anon's bad ending for fun, and yes I see what you mean! :) Yes, it's officially my favourite ending even though it's so sad.
Firstly, it's because of the conversation between Loil and Anon as you said. I think I ended up not reading it into depth the first time I played it, but now that I'm through with it, I believe it's the conversation where we managed to peel past Loil's outer covering the most. Truly as you said, he's not that different from Anon. The main difference is just that though both of them detest humanity in general, Anon succumbs to self-hatred while Loil attempts to prevent such self-hatred by coining himself as not a mere human, but an overarching observer who surpasses humans. Truly an extraordinary scene.

Secondly, Essi. I have to say that last few quotes are really wonderful(ly sad), when she went "Red. It's red everywhere. Everyone is dead." which directly echoes X's first memory upon seeing everyone die. I like how it implies that Essi herself would end up becoming somebody like Anon - and whether she does or not, we do not know. That's the beauty of it, hurrhurr. :) I think I might like that ending even more than the good ending. XD Who knows, maybe if I play it again, the good ending might seem better?
Anyway, I will send you the new scene in a few hours or so. I had a history exam today, so I couldn't do it yesterday. Sorry for the delay.

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Re: X-NOTE

#23 Post by Mirage »

I supposed people just want their fanservice. XD The good ends signify a start of relationship, so I thought kissing is just way too early. I'm conservative like that...XD

I'm glad you like it. ^v^

I remember reading a review that said none of the endings are truly satisfying. Well, I didn't design the game with one single true ending in mind. Rather, each endings are supposed to compliment the other, so you can see the entire picture. I designed all the endings to carry new piece of information, so it doesn't matter it's good or bad ending---you are supposed to learn something new. I don't want people to think that the bad endings are just obstacle to good end. All of them are important to the story.
Oure's bad ending is the only one that lacks this, that's why his path is probably the weakest out of the three. (As much as I love his flashbacks with Anon's) XD
Oh, don't worry about the speed. You're one of the better proofreaders I have. I appreciate quality much more than speed!

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Re: X-NOTE

#24 Post by Nikki »

I have so many questions when I played this. It's amazing that you can't really answer all of the questions even finish the game :D
can you answer my questions too
Will Oure ever wake up 'cause that'd be too sad
why is Anon's good ending is in Egypt I mean there muse be elsewhere that he wanted to go right? since he just happen to know how to fly
I just replay Anon's bad ending by chance and I was so happy to find out that Anon's past probably similar to Essi when she's gone mad
the idea of slipping a little bit of information for all the endings is pretty good I like it ^^ It makes me when to play all of them if I want to know more
there's much more questions I just can't remember but thank you so much in advance :)

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Re: X-NOTE

#25 Post by Mirage »

Oure: I think the photo at the end of the game should answer your question~ :3

Anon: He ended up there because he had been to that place before. Remember, he used to be a travelling merchant. So he has visited all over the world. Btw, Anon can't fly that far. lol

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Re: X-NOTE

#26 Post by Aquane »

I absolutely loved the game~ as for lack of romance.. xD I had to facepalm as well. The story didn't need anymore romance, the major genre of it was mystery to begin with, and with all of Essi's mixed emotions, who has time for a serious romance? I thought it was perfect the way it was~ and I'm a huuge romance fan, however in Essi's situation.. yeah.. it just wouldn't feel right. I got all the endings too, I thought they were well suited to each character :) I think my favorite was Anon.. I played in the order of Youn, Oure, Anon. I gotta say, as I was about to begin Anon's path I had NO idea how important of a role he really was! I think it was played off really well in the other two paths. Each time I played it there was so much of the story revealed, so it was never once boring or too repeatitive. I can't wait to see what Area X is all about :) Thats also going to be a must buy for me, especially because Rexus is in it too~ I'd love to see more of his character development.

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Re: X-NOTE

#27 Post by OtomeWeekend »

I just finished Yuon's endings! P(TT^TT)9 I always got the bad endings and I can't lvl up my psychokinesis skill at the latter part of the game cause I can't get the good timing at all! I haven't played other's paths :(

First of all, I gotta say, the lack of romance is reasonable cause it only spanned in one month. :P And the game mainly focused on unraveling the mysteries in the X-note and the Xen Institute so d( ^_~) its perfectly fine, for me. Mostly, I would raged out when there is no kissing scene at all but this game really give off the feeling of satisfactory even without the kissing scene. :D
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." ---Mahatma Gandhi

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Re: X-NOTE

#28 Post by Mirage »

@Aquane
I'm glad you like it ^o^
You played it in the correct order, too. XD

@Otomeweekend
Try pressing enter instead. Once you get used to the timing, it's shouldn't be that hard.

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Re: X-NOTE

#29 Post by Nikki »

really? that is the correct order I thought so but I thought it'd be more fun to play not like it's suppose to be ^O^
I played Yuon Anon Oure and I think Oure path wasn't that much of the information compared to the other two I had a lot of questions at the time especially about Rexus so I thought it's gonna reveal everything =.= now I'm waiting for Area-X because of Rexus and a other juicy information >.<
I think I like all the guys I can't really choose >.< but the main reason I wanted to play at first is because I like Essi ^_^ I think I like the way she thinks and pretty smart too in my point of view :)
I never tried pressing enter tho :( That's why I think it's hard (especially Telepathy >.<) and I only use mouse until the end I think I can't press enter =.=
so what's is Loil's source when he talk about Essi in the ORZ corporation private message
is it the hidden camera XD and why doesn't he know a bit faster if he already saw them talk about investigation on the the first day O.O
when I played Oure's path I really wanna hear his cute voice singing XD
why didn't Anon die when he jump in the river is the river too soft or his power protected him and why did Essi not hurt if Anon didn't help her. At first, I thought X could only help children o.o

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Re: X-NOTE

#30 Post by OtomeWeekend »

I'm playing the right path then!? xD *currently trying to get Oure* lol. And I still fail big time in psychokinesis Dx *practices more*

BTW, isn't there any extra endings that I'd end up with my guardian angel(Rexus.lol)? Dx lol, nvm me, I just really like the guys that can't be obtainable.lol
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I no longer use this account. Please refer to my new account, enta if you want to contact me. Thank you.

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