al|together 2008 Day 6: LEAVEs

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ChocoEd
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al|together 2008 Day 6: LEAVEs

#1 Post by ChocoEd » Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:14 pm

Last but certainly not least for al|together 2008 is "LEAVEs" from the circle BEKKO.NET (original title is the same), translated by insani's own Seung Park.

This piece is a bit of a departure from our usual releases, as it's an adult work in both senses of the word. Please do not download this piece if you are not at least 18 years of age: it contains explicit sex scenes, violence, and drug use, so it's not for everyone.

That being said, it's an excellent addition to the al|together roster, with some great writing, memorable characters, and interesting themes. So we're thrilled to finally be able to bring it to you.

Downloads are available for both Windows and Mac, so enjoy! The normal peer-review essays are not quite ready on the site, but we'll have those up in a day or two. Sorry about that... we cut the deadline a bit tight this time, heh heh.

http://altogether.insani.org/2008/6.html

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Re: al|together 2008 Day 6: LEAVEs

#2 Post by Hime » Mon Dec 08, 2008 11:53 pm

No any replies to this thread? Now that's weird.. :o

Anyway, I finished this a couple of days ago and I have to say LEAVEs left a good impression on me. The game felt a little heavy to play at first, but when the plot progressed I couldn't stop playing anymore.

The plot was rather interesting and original, even though it felt overly pessimistic at some points. The graphics were really great as soon as I was able to forgive some little flaws in the artist's style, and the music varied from good to awesome pieces. I'd say the best point of LEAVEs was that it really had some atmosphere and character. Overall it was great for a freeware game and I recommend this to anyone who is not scared of ero! :)

(There isn't that much ero in the game anyway...)
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Re: al|together 2008 Day 6: LEAVEs

#3 Post by lordcloudx » Tue Dec 16, 2008 5:32 pm

Just finished this. I was consistently impressed with the writing from start to finish.

While there were two predictable events in the plot that I didn't like because they actually did happen, I liked the story over-all. The biggest draw-in for this game for me would be the characters' dialogs and Tomohiro's narration; sometimes philosophical, sometimes pessimistic and consistently grounded on reality. It just serves to make the three main characters that much more interesting. There were conversations between Matsuri and Tomohiro that felt cruel and funny at the same time.

The basic plot was surprisingly simple in contrast to Tomohiro's complex thoughts.
It's basically about love, farewells, friendship and growing up. Standard soap opera stuff... at least in Philippine Telenovelas
The game is really all about the characters and getting the reader immersed in their particular circumstances and it does a fine job of doing that.

The ero scenes were well-integrated into the story, although, I felt that the descriptions seemed a bit too clinical rather than sensual at times. Also, the prologue after the epilogue to signal a new beginning just doesn't seem to have the impact that it's probably meant to have. (Or it could be that I just didn't particularly care for Hikari's POV.) Also, the ending itself felt like it was missing something.

Over-all, this is a very well-written and localized VN that even made me shed an emo tear near the end of chapter 4.
How do you make your games? I see. Thank you for the prompt replies, but it is my considered opinion that you're doing it wrong inefficiently because I am a perfushenal professional. Do it my way this way and we can all ascend VN Nirvana together while allowing me to stroke my ego you will improve much faster. Also, please don't forget to thank me for this constructive critique or I will cry and bore you to death respond appropriately with a tl;dr rant discourse of epic adequately lengthy proportions. - Sarcasm Veiled in Euphemism: Secrets of Forum Civility by lordcloudx (Coming soon to an online ebook near you.)

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Re: al|together 2008 Day 6: LEAVEs

#4 Post by GLACIER » Tue Dec 16, 2008 9:52 pm

On the whole, I found the writing to be pretty strong. I guess my biggest gripe might be the occasional overuse of emotional hooks. For instance, the introduction is barely relevant (
especially the part about how special Matsuri was and how they were "unable to protect her". Indeed, that bit of text bares a strong resemblance to how Murakami described a tragic character in Norwegian Wood, except it doesn't really fit in this case
), and it seems as if the author merely included it to create more of a dramatic pull than what's warranted.

Other than that, I have few complaints.

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Re: al|together 2008 Day 6: LEAVEs

#5 Post by nice_tea » Sat Jan 31, 2009 11:56 pm

i was just about to complain about the inconsistency of the art (characters, background). thank god, i just took another look at the game. they really did a good job in making the background photos look like they were actually drawn.
anyway, i find this to be the strongest piece of last years al|together. with moonshine taking the second place and crimsoness taking the third (for being the funniest :mrgreen: ).

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Re: al|together 2008 Day 6: LEAVEs

#6 Post by sephiroth » Mon Mar 23, 2009 12:09 am

Man, I guess that perhaps I need to fire it up again and go through more of the game, but after a very short while I just couldn't take it. The art was mediocre: it felt like the artist was trying to draw anime-style, but wasn't quite getting it. It's sort of like the Hart version of "manga": close, but something's always off just enough to make my brain have trouble processing things. I didn't think the game was particularly graphic (this is a good thing, imho), as the stuff I did see was very Barbie-esque. The opening scene felt like something I'd seen in a half dozen anime before - possibly because it is - and struck me as more than a bit cliche. However, I'm the kind of guy that can roll with the tropes, or even enjoy them, so that wasn't a deal-breaker. What ended the game's short life on my hard drive was a combination of the overall plot, the characters, and the dialog. The protagonist's SO's dialog alternated between painful and comical, and not in the "it's supposed to be funny" kind of way. It might just be a style choice, but it grated on me and made it hard to take the character seriously. The characters never really seemed to be engaged in anything that piqued my interest. There was no apparent conflict. The deal-killer was the way in which the game portrayed the protagonist: a bad dude who already had one chick in his bed, a black belt in beating down ne'er-do-wells, and at least one or two more girls lined up for the picking. It just felt too much like something a 15 year old would write up to act out his fantasies, not something a mature or even above-average VN producer would create. In the end, it just didn't interest me. I have to ask, though: does it honestly get better later in the game? Maybe I only played the bad part.

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Re: al|together 2008 Day 6: LEAVEs

#7 Post by Coatl » Mon Jun 15, 2009 9:59 pm

I'll be dead honest. I personally didn't like the game. I read it twice, and I liked some parts such as the conflict and the weird twist in the end, but it just wasn't my thing. 6/10. sorry

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