Here's the situation: you're looking for a writer, and you have a LOT of options. Why should you choose me? I'm here to answer that question through a series of charts and graphs. No, I'm kidding. I'm not better than anyone! Heck, I would hedge a bet that there loads of people on here better than me. You want go against that? I have $50 ready. I am a flake. I am irritating. I am always anxious and acting as a perfectionist. I am...up very late and totally pumped right now.
I'm not making a good case for myself, and that's a good thing. I want to be totally transparent on first meeting, not a false pretense in which I convince you that I am the most amazing thing you've ever met. Speaking of transparency, you deserve samples of my work to see what skills I got. I do have an old, outdated portfolio somewhere around here, but I'd rather make this offer: you tell me what you're looking for as for genre, format, and style, and I make you a sample flash fiction (500 words give or take) custom fit. This way, we both know from the get go if I am right for the position. I stress that if you feel like I'm not, don't half-heartedly go for me as "good enough" or someone who "might get better." I want your project to be what you want and the absolute best it can be. If that's not me, then that's not me. Don't settle when this project is your passion.
Ok, so why am I doing this? Why would someone who is convincing you at all turns not to hire her be posting in this forum at all. Simple: I'M BORED. Ok, let me rephrase that. I'm a professional blogger for children's beauty for a children's salon (like l'il l'il kids, nothing too cool), and I have a writing and marketing internship. It's awesome. It really is. I LOVE working for these people and having these opportunities and getting to write as an actual job. I'm so lucky and blessed. But -
If I have to write about nails again without an outlet for my love of fiction
I will scream
I will scream
And then neighbors will call the cops, and they'll start looking for bodies... It'll be a mess. YOU have the power to prevent that mess.
Also, I just really miss being part of a team. It's always so much fun to work with other people.
In conclusion, if you choose me, you're in for a wild ride, but I promise I will try my best. *grips your shirt desperately* I'm talented, I swear!
