New Planet [Strange Romance]

[Quelcezot]

Download here!

A story about Mary, and two strangers.

New Planet is a strange romance set in a strange place with strange characters, strange art, and strange music. All of the assets are made by me, with the exception of the wind sound effect courtesy of Mark DiAngelo: http://soundbible.com/1810-Wind.html, and the gui was made using the groundworks laid out by Luce Jumble: http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 52&t=23669.

I usually just write and code, so this is mostly just the result of experimentation, to give me a rest and a chance to grow alongside working on my larger project. This piece is pretty different in feel from my other project, but hopefully I'll grow as whole from the feedback nonetheless.

This title is extremely short and work in progress, there are doubtlessly many flaws and I would appreciate feedback both good and bad. By bad, it can be pretty horrendous. I don't even mind if you don't really justify it, honest responses are highly valuable to me.

I am a writer, so I'd be especially grateful for feedback on the ideas and the writing itself.

I'd also be happy for suggestions on next steps, even if it's not related to a specific critique.

Thank you!

[Sukikoko]

I like the art.
I think they are new, unique and intersting.
and I really like how you made everything yourself. *thumb up*

So I downloaded and played the game (didn't finish it yet)
I like how at the beginning the scene close up as she starts walking.
but then there is a menu:
"keep going" or "Retreat"
I pick "Keep Going" and then it repeat the previous dialogues from before....and also the same two choices...
and I click keep going....again...again..and...again...
In the end I realize that I'm gonna stuck in this cycle if I don't click retreat...
so I click retreat,story leads on and I meet the second stranger.

I didn't get annoyed, just thought that was pretty funny lol.

I really really really like the dialogues and the narrations~~~~~~

Gonna finish it tomorrow morning....

[Quelcezot]

I like the art.
I think they are new, unique and intersting.
and I really like how you made everything yourself. *thumb up*

So I downloaded and played the game (didn't finish it yet)
I like how at the beginning the scene close up as she starts walking.
but then there is a menu:
"keep going" or "Retreat"
I pick "Keep Going" and then it repeat the previous dialogues from before....and also the same two choices...
and I click keep going....again...again..and...again...
In the end I realize that I'm gonna stuck in this cycle if I don't click retreat...
so I click retreat,story leads on and I meet the second stranger.

I didn't get annoyed, just thought that was pretty funny lol.

I really really really like the dialogues and the narrations~~~~~~

Gonna finish it tomorrow morning....

Glad you didn't just get annoyed at that bit :p

There was going to be a sort of slightly extended route type thing at that point, and there might still be in the future but I'm focusing on my main project again.

I'm glad the art wasn't intolerable, I can't draw to save my life unfortunately so the tools I have at my disposal in that regard are limited. If you can I'd like to hear more on your opinions in that direction though, maybe some more negative as well. Just because I can't draw doesn't mean I consider myself free from the responsibility of making things look nice.

I'm pleased about the dialogues too, and I'd be very curious to hear your thoughts on the endings. Although they are a little odd, and not every question is answered.

I notice that you've got a thread here too, I haven't been posting very much in this subforum (at all, aside from this thread) so I think I'll have a better look at everyone else's projects as well and try to find some useful feedback for them.

[Dreamgazer]

Hello, Quelcezot! I've been finished with your game for a while, but I finally found the time to sit down and write up my thoughts.

Let's see...my first impression is that New Planet is indeed different. Not in a negative way but, rather, it's exactly as you described it. A strange romance, one that piques my interest. In the beginning, the black and white palette, combined with the music and SFX, gave me a sort of foreboding feeling. There's something sad in the absence of color and a stark loneliness that

makes it far more powerful when color returns to the world.

I actually find the second stranger incredibly likable. The narrative's acquainted me with him for all of a few minutes, but he doesn't strike me as a bad guy. For that reason, I prefer the ending in which

Mary accepts his love.

I just personally prefer happier endings. However, that doesn't mean I disliked the second ending by any means. On the contrary, it leaves me very curious as to what was happening. It felt a little bit like a Star Trek and Twilight Zone experience.

To me, New Planet was much like a feeling piece, artwork meant to inspire emotion and be subject to interpretation. The full screen immediately immerses you in its world, and each transition, every sound, guides you further into it. I can tell you put in a lot of effort as well with the panning of the camera, the customized mouse, and so on. It makes for a very smooth journey that I'm happy to have taken up.

Good luck with your larger project! I'm looking forward to seeing what it is.