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Although you probably find someone so much better than me, if you like, I could try to clean up the writing for you. I'm not the best at it, but I'll try to make it presentable. For example:

"Once upon time there’s a small village and in that village lived a girl named Beni, her mom's ill, so Beni went to see her. On the way Beni met a wolf boy named Lycas and from there on the wheels of fate started to turn ”

"Once upon time, in a small village, lived a girl named Beni. One day, her mother suddenly fell ill, so Beni went off to see her. The wheels of fate started to turn when she met a wolf boy named Lycas along the way.”

Scarlet family has tradition to leave house at 15 and since then she has lived alone in a small village.She's descendant of the "Witch of the End and Start" and sorceress in training.She gives the feeling of "happy go lucky" but the truth is Beni's smart and understanding girl.

"A descendant of the "Witch of the End and Start" and a sorceress in training, Beni followed the Scarlet Family tradition of living off on her own at the tender age of 15. Although she may come across as a carefree, "happy go lucky" child, deep down, Beni is very smart, and very mature, for her age."

Lycas is the youngest son of the Wolf King Filtiar.Unlike his older brother he was said to be embarrassment of wolf kin because he didn't act like real wolf. Lycas left to show them that he too, can be "real" wolf.On the way he met Beni and his view changed.
He is easily frustrated and losses cool when it comes to Beni

"Although Lycas was the youngest son of the Wolf King, Filtiar, he was constantly overshadowed by his older brother. After overhearing that he was an embarrassment to the wolf kin because he lack the qualities of a 'real wolf,' Lycas left to prove them wrong. However, his world changed when he ran into Beni, who always manages to make Lycas lose his cool."

Again, I'm not the best at it, but if you need someone to rewrite some stuff until you find someone else, I could try to help you out.

@Dreamweaver Thank you so much!! and ah,yup my English is little horrendous...-_-'' eheheh... One reasons I wanted to try making visual novels was so that I could train my English and some other things... My friend promised to be my ah, proofreader/editor... but even she's not native, so thank you very much for pinpointing those mistakes!

Mashiro-chi wrote:@Dreamweaver Thank you so much!! and ah,yup my English is little horrendous...-_-'' eheheh... One reasons I wanted to try making visual novels was so that I could train my English and some other things... My friend promised to be my ah, proofreader/editor... but even she's not native, so thank you very much for pinpointing those mistakes!

Like I said, if you'd like me to take a look at any other writing, I'll do my best to clean them up. Otherwise, you'll get better over time. If you can learn three languages, you can learn to get better at them.

OMG! Beni and Lycas are the perfect match!!!! I'm looking forward to this!!

I'm not a huge fan of cliché romance... but this game looks really cute. <3 I'm gonna keep an eye on this! I'd like to see it finished. Lycas is just too adorable oh my gosh

The art is gorgeous! *w*// You shouldn't sell yourself short... Personally I like fairy tale stories, and even if I'd say I don't like love at first sight, you never know when you'll come across something that makes you think "damn that's cute..." orz Anyway! This looks very cute! Believe in yourself~! |D;

@Dreamweaver Thanks so much, I appreciate your help,but the scrip doesn't exist yet..ehehee.. and I planned to having the art and gui ready fist before starting the scrip.So if you still want to help(or remember this game) after half a year or so, then I'll be very grateful. If you've lost interested at that time, I don't mind. and as you said I'll try my best to improve my English and writing skills.


@MimirollCookie Thank you. I always though Mister wolf and Red riding hood are perfect match,and anything Red riding hood X mister wolf are my favorite. And if the original fairy tale was a love story between them, then it would be my favorite fairy tale. Why didn't Disney remake "Red riding hood" sob sob.


@Zelan Ah,I'm sorry about that... QAQ but since this is my first game and I'm soloing everything, I was afraid to write anything complicated, unique and long... which is also why I only made Lycas as love interested,even though there's other guys in the game... but, maybe,maybe in next game? I need to finish this first before thinking anything else tho O v <

@fmjaye Thank you, and ah, don't worry I'm not selling myself sort(At least I don't think I am?), it just that this story really is quite cliché.I mean love at first sight, boy having family problem and girl having special powers,soul mates, fated to love each other...eh,cliche much? But as beginner and first game it was just easier to start with something easy and familiar. And un, I also love fairy tales, which is why this game is based on a fairy tale, :3

I was curious about what kind of game you're making and this looks so cute.
So far the art looks really eye-catching. I hope you're continueing with this game. I'm rooting for you!
Sometimes your first tries get to be a huge success, be confident in your skills ^_^

Those are some very nice character illustrations. The animal details on Beni are especially nice. Hope the project goes well!

Your art ist great and Beni is so beautiful:)

I'd like to see it finished too. If you ever need help with coding, don't hesitate to write me a message.

*me reading the summary*
Cliches? I guess I could take that.
*me scrolling down to see the art*
...I am definitely following this game.

Ahem, sorry that I haven't updated anything,for three weeks I went to vacation with my family so there hasn't been any progress, but now that I'm back and there's still four month until my deadline I'll try and finish this game before 2017.(I'll try my best but don't have too high hopes please...-_-'' )

I like the new characters! ^_^

Just a quick note, in Mashiro's description, 'Goddness' should be 'Goddess' and 'role' should be 'roles.' c:

Zelan wrote:I like the new characters! ^_^

Just a quick note, in Mashiro's description, 'Goddness' should be 'Goddess' and 'role' should be 'roles.' c:

Oops, thank you so much, I even gives myself warning not to write that 'n' and I still wrote it... XD