Painted Walls -- Horror

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fortaat
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Re: Painted Walls -- Horror

#31 Post by fortaat »

Alex wrote:As for story - I think, that it is posible to make a novel in three books from any simple story. Like, if it would be told why parents wished to have the second baby, how it was hard for mom to have two small children, how father have had to work hard to keep the family, how lack of attention led the girl to mental problems... maybe some other social and relationship problems, and as result - the tragedy. But it wouldn't be a horror story.
God, I'm overdoing it:
fortaat wrote:I didn't suggest to add more than 1500 words.
Read the rest of the correspondence between me and Topagae.

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Starling
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Re: Painted Walls -- Horror

#32 Post by Starling »

Just finished playing it and got the red wall ending.

Oh my god.

The entire game sent shivers down my spine, there was a time where I didn't think I'd be able to get through it.
As soon as she noticed that Andy had "red" in him I just I freaked out so much, I swear I started screaming 'no' over and over again in my head
I love the delivery, the disjointedness, the off grammar. There were so many stylistic decisions that put me RIGHT inside that little girl's head, and I didn't want to be there, because it turned out to be a scary place. The art was also gorgeous.

I don't think I can every bring myself to play again to get the other endings (even though I'm pretty sure I got the worst one) because this kind of horror really freaks me out, but I loved it. Seriously, you guys did a good job.

The only issue is that when the backgrounds switched I automatically started reading at the top again, so maybe you should have cleared the text off? Because it would throw me off and I'd get out of the character.
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Coren
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Re: Painted Walls -- Horror

#33 Post by Coren »

You didn't, trust me. ._.
The blue walls was equally frightening.

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Re: Painted Walls -- Horror

#34 Post by machinist »

got all 3 endings
it was creepy and well done i liked the watercolor arts

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Re: Painted Walls -- Horror

#35 Post by Starling »

Kirroha wrote:You didn't, trust me. ._.
The blue walls was equally frightening.
I'm both curious and quite frightened D: I don't think I can take another playthrough though DX I'm such a pussy LOL
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Re: Painted Walls -- Horror

#36 Post by Madotsuki »

Downloading. It looks a bit like Saya no Uta to me, at least atmosphere-wise~

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Re: Painted Walls -- Horror

#37 Post by \Nish/ »

Since I don't see horror games around here too often, I was pretty excited for this and gave it a whirl.

I have to say, very good attempt at making the first game! I liked the atmosphere and how it gives off a dark feeling. However, I do agree with the previous posts about the commas because while I know it's supposed to be how she thinks, it makes the whole reading experience difficult. As a result, I felt tired after having finished it once, and found myself skipping a whole lot the second and third time I went through the game.

Art-wise it's pretty good, I liked the stylized art. It fits with the tone of the story.

I think you guys are at a great start! Good work and thanks for sharing. :)

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Re: Painted Walls -- Horror

#38 Post by kinougames »

Okay, I am posting this critique as I play so it's all fresh in mind.
The title page of the game...honestly it was a little jarring. I LOVE the pictures you have in the game, and I feel like you could've done something a little more for the title page, even despite the theme of the game.

The writing. There's a fine line between "speaking like a child" and "annoying baby babble", and I think that you unfortunately hit the wrong side of the balance. Also, you write "halls" instead of "walls" on the first page. I didn't mind the early repetition, but the massive run-on sentences honestly made me glaze over a fair bit.

The repetition does start to become too much toward the middle, unfortunately, and it made trying to get the story fairly exhausting.

This has been mentioned, I believe, but when the picture changes, the text should start with new text. I keep rereading pieces and it's hard to tell if it's just a repetition or just the same thing I already read.

The knife ending was pretty cliche. I like the ending where she smashes up the walls much more, but I feel as if the writing didn't portray the scene as well as it could because the ending was sort of oddly cut down.
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Re: Painted Walls -- Horror

#39 Post by Nykinora »

Starling wrote:The only issue is that when the backgrounds switched I automatically started reading at the top again, so maybe you should have cleared the text off? Because it would throw me off and I'd get out of the character.
That did throw me a little bit at first, but then it actually worked for me,
considering how unbalanced and repetitive her mind was
- it was like a loop almost. But it was a bit distracting. But yes, a genuinely creepy little game here, especially for a first game.

Anyway - I thought the visuals were just excellent and added to the overall atmosphere. Likewise with the music. I liked the fact that the storytelling was pared back and kept to a bare minimum because it allowed the dark atmosphere and rather chilling scenario to be the central focus. (I feel the same way about games like Air Pressure or The Life of a Pacifist... I don't think these stories would gain anything by 'fleshing' out the characters, when the stories are clearly driven by scenario and centre around dilemma/s rather than operating as in-depth character studies or complex plot arcs. Not every story (particularly a short one) has or even needs 'developed' characters. (As it stands, I think that you did a fine job of conveying the psychology of your protagonist and you leave all kinds of telling clues about her and what she's like without feeling the need to spell it out to the player in sky-high letter.)

It's like the difference between a short story and a novel. When you're dealing with a limited space you want the storytelling to be as streamlined and direct as possible, without excess baggage. Same thing applies to fairy tales which often deals with broad archetypes and where "less is more". When the witch captures Hansel and Gretel I don't feel as if I've *lost* anything by not knowing that she grew up in an orphanage where she was persecuted for her witchcraft by other children, which then turned her into the bitter, child-hating individual... In this case, I didn't need any additional information about the mother or Andy, or the kids she interacted with.

Sometimes, simple is best. I think that trying to cram in too much additional 'character' information or useless backstory would have detracted from the overall impact and that those would have required a longer story or a larger project for any of that. Too much 'light' in the form of details that no-one *needs* to know, would have utterly ruined it.
And on a more practical, it's told in first-person narrative. The story is constrained by the narrator who happens to be disturbed, possibly delusional, extremely self-absorbed and living inside her own head. She's also a child, so unless there was another narrative voice intruding or simultaneously operating in the story, there would be no way to get additional information or a "deeper" sense of her mother, Andy or anybody else...since it is all filtered through her.
I also find it interesting when readers/gamers assert a 'right' to identify with/relate to central characters as if that is the only reason you would read/play a game. I didn't need to 'relate' to the character in order to take an interest in what was going to happen. And sometimes it is nice to observe, rather than to put yourself at the centre of a text all of the time. Any, while not perfect I think that the game worked well. It was tagged as a horror, and it certainly delivered.

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Re: Painted Walls -- Horror

#40 Post by neowired »

It was a great experimental sort of thing. The only thing which troubled me about the text was when dialog blended with the girl's thought, but it didn't bother me all that much.

Love this sort of stories.

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Re: Painted Walls -- Horror

#41 Post by SyberiaWinx »

Hmm...Is the girl who made this even around here anymore?O_o

First, I have to point out that I encountered an error in the game. It seems to be just me, though. After choosing the "Walls told me to" option, the next choice thing gets messed up. If I choose to tell mother about the red, the story progresses as if I'd chosen the needle option and vice-versa.

Overall, it was not a bad game, but I think that if you were to flesh out the story and characters more, you could make it a lot better and probably even release it like as a novel or something. Sounds like a good horror movie. The rambling writing was a bit of a turn off. In a way, it worked, because that's what it was supposed to be-the ramblings of a young girl. But as a player, my first thought was that another illiterate person had made a visual novel with messy grammer. At the very least, some warning that it's supposed to be like that might be helpful, as I almost stopped playing immediately.

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Re: Painted Walls -- Horror

#42 Post by IefaSan »

Interesting plot and quite disturbing.. I wonder what makes a child thinking and act like that.. So far, I only get one ending, the blue one (I thought that is the end). I will try to get another ending after I stop looking at my own veins.. XD

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Re: Painted Walls -- Horror

#43 Post by princessofbalance »

I remember playing this honestly it was pretty creepy at one point i thought she was going to kill her baby brother, could have been more story though other then that itw as a very different game, but in a good way to play hope you make more in the future
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Re: Painted Walls -- Horror

#44 Post by SaintVain »

This work was incredibly emotional for me, and I felt like I was right inside it, seeing through the eyes of the little girl! The child's art added to it, and I think the writing style was an exact match to the tone of this story. Short but well done.

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Re: Painted Walls -- Horror

#45 Post by Head_Phones »

I got all of the endings

Just wanted to tell you that I'm slightly disturbed right now ^^

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