(GxB) Aurora Spirit - Demo Very Outdated

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Ulin207
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(GxB) Aurora Spirit - Demo Very Outdated

#1 Post by Ulin207 »

Image

I decided to make my first Visual Novel along with PrettieAngel, another user. Hope it generates some interest. The story isn't going to be heavily romance-orientated and some paths might even be a bit lacking in that department.


Game Info:

Description: The player takes the role of the heroine (player named else Mary-Sue), who is currently attending an academy which trains students to become protectors of 'The Bridge to the Sky'. (A sort of altar dedicated to the resurrection of a mythical goddess who is said to bring prosperity back to the lands.) The game starts at the end of one school semester, but being unable to return home, must remain at school with the several other students staying. As she prepares to spend her break at school, she discovers a strange sphere in her room. It later disappears triggering the academy staff's eventual pursuit of her. In order to bring the goddess back, a female possessing a portion of the goddess' power must be sacrificed as a host body for the goddess' return, the role given to the heroine. Yet all is not as it appears and there is an unexpected truth behind everything. The player guides the heroine in trying to escape sacrifice in this short VN, while doing what she can to uncover the secrets of the past.

World: The alternate world of Evidia had for a long time existed in harmony. All things lived a life of peace and simplicity with few questions. It was unknown how the name Evidia came to be, but it had always been for all of time. There was never a need for distant travelling or complex social systems and humans remained small in number, existing only as small colonies scattered across the land. Yet this could not last forever and after an indefinite length of time, the human population grew immensely, as did their influence over their surroundings. Now, with little structure to the way they live their lives, the world lies without order. The lack of safety and security casts a shadow of despair over almost everything. The fear of the unknown and ultimately, death, brings about chaos and continues to force other species into a struggle to survive. For those fortunate enough to be blessed with magic, becoming a 'Guardian', a protector of 'The Bridge to the Sky', offers an escape from this.

Title Screen: Here
Screenshot 1: Here
Screenshot 2: Here


Main Characters

Player's Character:
Image
(A concept picture, as she has no in game sprite.)
- Human.
- Female.
- Academy Student.
- A student of average ability and appearance, she's mostly level-headed and tends to think of the present more than anything else. (Personality differs somewhat between paths.)
When the unexpected claim is made that she is a possessor of the Goddess' power, an Aurora Spirit, and her life is potentially at risk, she is faced with the a decision: To escape, leaving behind the life she's known until now, or remain and try her best in light of her fate.
Physical Age: 16

Carmine:

Image
- Human.
- Male.
- Academy student.
- A kind and polite boy who enjoys music. He decided to enter Guardian training in the hopes of being able to someday protect the peace and help end the suffering of people, especially in the poorer regions and those who cannot help themselves.
Physical Age: 16

Fionn:

Image
- Human.
- Male.
- Academy student.
- Quiet and somewhat cold, enjoys painting and visual art, while seeming to have a total lack of interest in learning the skills involved in becoming a Guardian. There seems to be a girl that's been hanging around him recently, however.
Physical Age: 19

Marcel:

Image
- Dragon (in humanoid form).
- Male.
- Not a student.
- Youthful and jovial, he enjoys playing and shirking his duties, especially being physically active. Because being a dragon grants him the gift of long life, he is in reality a fair bit older than he appears yet still behaves relatively immaturely.
Physical Age: 15

Rochelle:

Image
- Human.
- Female.
- The heroine's room mate and friend.
- A generally nice girl who is calm but a little reserved. Although she's currently the closest one to the heroine, not an awful lot is known about her and there still exists a noticeable gap between the two. Outside class, they don't usually spend a lot of time together.
Physical Age: 16

Thanos:

Image
- Vampire.
- Male.
- Not a student.
- He appears to be a foreigner and very different to the others living in the land. Quite indifferent though seems to care about the heroine. It is unknown why he is visiting the academy, and he does not appear to have a set purpose.
Physical Age: 24

Theron:

Image
- Demon.
- Male.
- Academy student.
- Hot headed and somewhat loud, he for some reason is often found doing nothing, with seemingly little interest in things. He likes getting his way and won't hesitate to say things.
Physical Age: 18


Completion

Backgrounds: 20%
CGs: 5%
Music: 20%
Script: 20%
Sprites: 100%
Story: 100%

Demo v0.8 notes: (This Demo is now extremely outdated and therefore not fully representative of how the finished game will be.)

- No CGs yet.
- Three backgrounds are not done. (There are three stand in BGs.)
- Not all gallery images are unlock able, most because they don't exist at this time, however, there is an issue with an intro image. The issue is now fixed, but not included the release.
- 10-15 minutes roughly, game-play per path.

Any comments on this v0.8 are welcome and appreciated. Thanks.
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Last edited by Ulin207 on Wed Feb 26, 2014 12:42 pm, edited 18 times in total.

NatsukiDeath
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Re: Aurora Spirit

#2 Post by NatsukiDeath »

Ohh !~ Sound Neat-o!

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Re: Aurora Spirit

#3 Post by mysterialize »

Is it really such a good idea to have a character's name default to "Mary-Sue"? It would be funny in a comedy, but it seems like this story is meant to at least take itself somewhat seriously.

Aside from that, there doesn't seem to be much to comment on yet. Most of your summary and profiles seem rather vague.

The art looks pretty decent, though.

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Re: Aurora Spirit

#4 Post by gekiganwing »

Welcome to the forum, Ulim207!

About your story, you said, "In order to bring the goddess back, a female possessing a portion of the goddess' power must be sacrificed as a host body for the goddess' return. The player guides the heroine is in trying to escape sacrifice in this short VN."

An important thing to consider... is this a secret that only the faculty know? Or is it public knowledge?

If everyone knows that reviving the goddess requires a human sacrifice, then there may be quite a bit of gloom in the air. Sure, it may be good and honorable to give up one's life to revive this deity, but most people are not inclined to die for this sort of cause.

But if this is a secret, then your story world could become dystopian. It might make the faculty seem like people who would kill their students just to achieve a goal (even if it's for the benefit of everyone else).

Another important consideration: how will her interactions with male characters change the story? Do they have goals and ideals? Will they be inclined to help her survive, even if their own lives might be at risk?

One last thing... if the heroine of your story does not die, and the goddess is not revived, what might happen? Will the fictional world become a miserable place? Will everyone think she was a selfish coward? Might she be considered a traitor, and perhaps be hunted?

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Re: Aurora Spirit

#5 Post by Ulin207 »

Thank you for everyone's posts!

mysterialize: The main reason I did this is because I'm terrible at coming up with names and the intention is for the player to name the character so she doesn't have to be called Mary-Sue. I suppose what I'm planning isn't exactly a comedy, but the story isn't actually supposed to be very serious. The story branches quite early as there are somewhat different story-lines for all the guys so I wasn't sure how much of it I should have put up, most of it is just background.

gekiganwing: Thank you for the welcome. Yes the whole concept of the resurrection is known to the public and is a common myth with the humans and has been around a very long time prior to the beginning of the game. They never found anyone until 'now' and they never intended for it to be one of their students. The fact that most people will not be willing to give their life is why the main character attempts to escape this 'fate'.

It's sort of like, if you attend the Academy, then you must serve protector to 'The Bridge to the Sky' until you become unable. All the characters know this, but the characters are more developed than what I have posted up. What happens to the heroine after the game depends heavily the ending you get. Though ultimately the world ends up a happy place, though not within the character's lifetime.

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Re: Aurora Spirit

#6 Post by PrettieAngel »

Here's an update to the first post with a bit added to the character descriptions and the completion of sprites for another character.

Carmine:

Image
- Human
- A kind and polite boy who enjoys music. He decided to enter Guardian training in the hopes of being able to someday protect the peace and help end the suffering of people, especially in the poorer regions and those who cannot help themselves.

Rochelle:

- Human
- A generally nice girl who is calm but a little reserved. Although she's currently the closest one to the heroine, not an awful lot is known about her and there still exists a noticeable gap between the two. Outside class, they don't usually spend a lot of time together.

Marcel:

- Dragon (in humanoid form)
- Youthful and jovial, he enjoys playing and shirking his duties, especially being physically active. Because being a dragon grants him the gift of long life, he is in reality a fair bit older than he appears yet still behaves relatively immaturely.

Thanos:

- Vampire
- He appears to be a foreigner and very different to the others living in the land. Quite indifferent though seems to care about the heroine. It is unknown why he is visiting the academy, and he does not appear to have a set purpose.

Theron:

- Demon
- Hot headed and somewhat loud, he for some reason is often found doing nothing, with seemingly little interest in things. He likes getting his way and won't hesitate to say things.

Fionn:

- Human
- Quiet and somewhat cold, enjoys painting and visual art, while seeming to have a total lack of interest in learning the skills involved in becoming a Guardian. There seems to be a girl that's been hanging around him recently, however.


Lastly, the title screen image.

Ulin207
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Re: Aurora Spirit

#7 Post by Ulin207 »

All sprites for main characters have been completed, so character profiles are complete. Three new in-game images have also been added and the old title image taken out:

Main Menu:
Image

Intro:
Image

Game-play:
Image
Image

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Re: Aurora Spirit

#8 Post by Riviera »

I love, love, love the two night sky backgrounds... they look so much like a beautiful chalkboard with white chalk marks on them. :D :D

Also, Rochelle looks SO much like that red-head from Utena... if she acts even a bit like her, this should be interesting.

The story seems interesting, I'll keep an eye on this :)
Will edit/proofread for cookies.

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Ulin207
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Re: Aurora Spirit

#9 Post by Ulin207 »

Riviera: I can't say I've ever heard of Utena before your mention, but after some research Rochelle does very closely resemble one of the characters. I don't think their personalities are too alike though.

I'm overseas for the holidays so progress will be very slow until mid January. Feedback would be appreciated on the originality of the story, characters etc. and how to improve. Thanks.
Image

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Re: Aurora Spirit

#10 Post by PrettieAngel »

Updating to include some main character and setting information.

Image
(A concept picture, as she has no in game sprite.)
- Human.
- Female.
- Academy Student.
- A student of average ability and appearance, she's mostly level-headed and tends to think of the present more than anything else. (Personality differs somewhat between paths.)
When the unexpected claim is made that she is a possessor of the Goddess' power, an Aurora Spirit, and her life is potentially at risk, she is faced with the a decision: To escape, leaving behind the life she's known until now, or remain and try her best in light of her fate.
Physical Age: 16


World Info:

The alternate world of Evidia had for a long time existed in harmony. All things lived a life of peace and simplicity with few questions. It was unknown how the name Evidia came to be, but it had always been for all of time. There was never a need for distant travelling or complex social systems and humans remained small in number, existing only as small colonies scattered across the land. Yet this could not last forever and after an indefinite length of time, the human population grew immensely, as did their influence over their surroundings. Now, with little structure to the way they live their lives, the world lies without order. The lack of safety and security casts a shadow of despair over almost everything. The fear of the unknown and ultimately, death, brings about chaos and continues to force other species into a struggle to survive. For those fortunate enough to be blessed with magic, becoming a 'Guardian', a protector of 'The Bridge to the Sky', offers an escape from this.
Image

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Re: Aurora Spirit (GxB)

#11 Post by Riviera »

Okay, will give my thoughts/impressions of the storyboard thus far:
Description: The player takes the role of the heroine (player named else Mary-Sue), who is currently attending an academy which trains students to become protectors of 'The Bridge to the Sky'. (A sort of altar dedicated to the resurrection of a mythical goddess who is said to bring prosperity back to the lands.)
So far, only somewhat generic. It reminds me of a few different stories/games, but only resembles each one of them slightly. The Mary-Sue default is kinda cute and funny, but I'd almost say to consider having a serious option for those that can't think of a name or prefer to go with the 'canon' name.
The game starts at the end of one school semester, but being unable to return home, must remain at school with the several other students staying. As she prepares to spend her break at school, she discovers a strange sphere in her room. It later disappears triggering the academy staff's eventual pursuit of her. In order to bring the goddess back, a female possessing a portion of the goddess' power must be sacrificed as a host body for the goddess' return, the role given to the heroine. Yet all is not as it appears and there is an unexpected truth behind everything. The player guides the heroine in trying to escape sacrifice in this short VN, while doing what she can to uncover the secrets of the past.
Hopefully there'll be an option to be a willing sacrifice too? Or to change your mind (from willing to not, or from not to willing)? Doesn't have to be, but it'd be something to consider. I mean, she's been in this school whose entire purpose is to protect this altar. The altar is there specifically to resurrect the goddess. It's not THAT far of a stretch to imagine that the heroine could be so dedicated to this that she'd give up her own life to fulfill the altar's purpose. Or that she'd experience doubts over it. "Should I really die for these beliefs? I value my life, but I also value what I've been taught, what I've been told by so many people."

Course that all only applies if the story takes place before the day of sacrifice, or if there are preparations for her to do before all of that takes place.

Of course, you did say short VN... I have a feeling all of this would not help it to be short. :lol:
Will edit/proofread for cookies.

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Re: Aurora Spirit (GxB)

#12 Post by Ulin207 »

Riviera wrote:Okay, will give my thoughts/impressions of the storyboard thus far:

So far, only somewhat generic. It reminds me of a few different stories/games, but only resembles each one of them slightly. The Mary-Sue default is kinda cute and funny, but I'd almost say to consider having a serious option for those that can't think of a name or prefer to go with the 'canon' name.
We're both terrible with naming characters, and as much as I'd like to include a 'serious' or 'canon' name, I don't feel we're be able to unless someone else names the character for us. It would be nice if you could give some suggestions. Lol.
Riviera wrote:Hopefully there'll be an option to be a willing sacrifice too? Or to change your mind (from willing to not, or from not to willing)? Doesn't have to be, but it'd be something to consider. I mean, she's been in this school whose entire purpose is to protect this altar. The altar is there specifically to resurrect the goddess. It's not THAT far of a stretch to imagine that the heroine could be so dedicated to this that she'd give up her own life to fulfill the altar's purpose. Or that she'd experience doubts over it. "Should I really die for these beliefs? I value my life, but I also value what I've been taught, what I've been told by so many people."

Course that all only applies if the story takes place before the day of sacrifice, or if there are preparations for her to do before all of that takes place.

Of course, you did say short VN... I have a feeling all of this would not help it to be short. :lol:
As of now, there wasn't a 'willing' path planned, but now that you do mention it, I think it'll have to be something serious to consider. While that 'path' won't be much of a path, more of just a death ending so I can't really be certain who would want it other than just for the sake of the heroine actually 'saving' (so to speak) something. When we say short, we mean each path will more likely than not, be short. We cannot say now long the VN will be including all paths, though it definitely won't be long. While I don't want to give away too much of the actual plot, most of the students, and Guardians aren't in there completely of their own choice. It's set in (almost) apocalyptic times, and life's general hardships push those who qualify, into the Guardian occupation. (Where they're provided life's basic necessities for free starting with academy life.) How dedicated anyone is to their supposed role is debatable, so to speak.

The VN currently doesn't have anything along the lines of actual 'canon', hence the lack of a canon name and true ending. While some endings are more developed than others, we'd like to leave it mostly to the player to decide which one is the true ending, or if they only play through once, to be able to feel they have achieved a 'true' ending. I do thank you for replying, your thoughts have been meaningful. We probably will add that 'willing' ending after your suggestion. :)
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Re: Aurora Spirit (GxB)

#13 Post by Riviera »

Ulin207 wrote: As of now, there wasn't a 'willing' path planned, but now that you do mention it, I think it'll have to be something serious to consider. While that 'path' won't be much of a path, more of just a death ending so I can't really be certain who would want it other than just for the sake of the heroine actually 'saving' (so to speak) something. When we say short, we mean each path will more likely than not, be short. We cannot say now long the VN will be including all paths, though it definitely won't be long. While I don't want to give away too much of the actual plot, most of the students, and Guardians aren't in there completely of their own choice. It's set in (almost) apocalyptic times, and life's general hardships push those who qualify, into the Guardian occupation. (Where they're provided life's basic necessities for free starting with academy life.) How dedicated anyone is to their supposed role is debatable, so to speak.

The VN currently doesn't have anything along the lines of actual 'canon', hence the lack of a canon name and true ending. While some endings are more developed than others, we'd like to leave it mostly to the player to decide which one is the true ending, or if they only play through once, to be able to feel they have achieved a 'true' ending. I do thank you for replying, your thoughts have been meaningful. We probably will add that 'willing' ending after your suggestion. :)
I probably explained it poorly. For some reason I do that a lot. Image

I was thinking more of her, instead of finding ways to escape, spending that particular path doing preparations for the ceremony. Like... a spiritual cleansing of sorts. She could meet whatever other characters while she wanders around and does her thing with that. Maybe some of them would try to talk her out of it. Maybe they'd succeed (and she'd get redirected to that particular character's route), maybe they'd fail.

Ahhh, yeah, the setting makes a difference. As does the possibly not being their of their own volition.

You're welcome! This does seem interesting, will definitely snap it up when it becomes available! :)
Will edit/proofread for cookies.

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Re: Aurora Spirit (GxB)

#14 Post by Ulin207 »

Ah I see, that's what was meant. That would need more thought then. It certainly seems like a nice idea, but doesn't really fit with what has been written so far. I hope you don't mind me saying, why would someone really want to talk her out of it? Makes life better for them. XD This wasn't meant as an attack, so I apologise if you take offence, it's just something that popped into my mind as I read your comment.

I'm grateful someone is interested in Aurora Spirit! We were thinking of releasing a demo in roughly a week, containing about one third the story, as a 'help us write filler events/conversation or critique the writing' type thing. Would you perhaps be happy to do that? Unfortunately the script is really lacking in that everything happens rather quickly. Thank you again for taking time to write replies.
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Re: Aurora Spirit (GxB)

#15 Post by Arithra »

If you have trouble coming up with name you might want to try this!
http://www.rinkworks.com/namegen/

it's a fantasy name generator. Sometimes they are stupid but someof them aren't to bad!
Please visit my projects Perios- Chained Sorceress
and Final Banquet now with demo!

And my blog for more updates!

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