Hm, lately, I've been bothered by that little plot I had since a little while... ah. So I'm wondering if actually it is worth the effort of doing the work. (Me is trying to work on a standalone small thing to train myself a little on Ren'Py. ^^")
The problem is: The plot. My biggest talent is... humor. Kinda. I guess. I don't really actually know how long should a VN be but I've written around 2500 words right now. And, as I look at it, I realize that maybe, the story is not uh... interesting enough for people.
So, I thought. Why not ask YOU? XD
I'm going to put the summary and put around 1000 words of what I've written in spoiler so you can check how it is or how it could be. I am warning though. I am a fanfiction writer... and apparently we have the bad reputation of adding useless details...
Summary: Being a dragon sucks, you have to constantly show off your strength or you're going to get skewered and you have to kidnap princesses to show that you have matured.
I, for information, thought it was quite an idiotic custom, but there were more princesses than Queen alive so...
Anyway, yeah, I had to prove I matured.
Except I managed to kidnap a prince that had tried to skewered me after I put him down in his <strike>jail</strike> room. Even worse, instead of cowering in a corner, he stalked me in my castle and saw me turn into my human form...
Now, he believes I'm a princess that had been cursed...
Dragons’ culture worshipped strength and power. That was why they were often seen as a menace, a threat one could only try to avoid if possible. Oddly enough, they just seemed to <i>adore</i> kidnapping princesses and force humans to try to fend them off. Actually, it was not a question of adoration (though my brother loved human flesh), it was a custom.
Every time a dragon became one hundred eighty year old, he had to earn his place as an independent being. They had to kidnap a nearby kingdom’s princess and must keep her until the kingdom gave offerings in hope to get onto their good sides (A proof that the dragon had successfully managed to scare them). If they failed, they had to stay within the household for at least one hundred years.
So cliché, right? Well, since we, dragons, are living really long and that this custom is <i>really</i> old, I guessed fairytales were, maybe, real. I just hoped they were not… After all, these stories sounded a little too much ‘unicorns with pink polka’ to me.
Oh, right, I didn’t tell you guys who I was. I, yes I am the heroine of this story, was called Bridget O’Brian and if you’re wondering, yes I had to catch a freaking princess. If I had to choose, I’d personally take the Queen. Or the King. Or the Empress. Yes, monarchs. But apparently, if you take monarchs, the kingdom would end in few months. My father said that people just <i>loved</i> losing their leaders so they could just be the leader. Really odd, I must tell you guys. What was the point of letting people kidnap your monarch?
Anyway, I had to kind of kidnap a princess since they were (and still are) much more common than princes. Apparently, royalty just hm… appreciate err… reproducing. I mean, did you see how many girls royalty have? Just… weird.
Oh, right, I was talking about kidnapping, right?
Well, here is the thing. Yesterday, planning to crash into a… uh… birthday party, I had specially sharpened my nails and even put on some nail polish! Pretty as I were, it was not necessary but, hey, it was MY maturing day, I ruled! So, after putting a beautiful green bow on my horns, I went to the party!
It was the birthday of a neighbor country’s Queen. That monarch had worn the most amazing tiara I had ever seen (which I would have gladly taken away if my kidnapping went badly) and by her side, stood the most attention-worthy person of the room, the Princess! Princesses had always and would always be an important thing. They were, after all, always linked to the power, all thanks to a tiny drip of blood. Oh, well, who am I to judge human laws? They sucked – you know it, I know it, period.
As the Princess made tons of other girls squealed, I decided it was time to attack! Coming out of my hiding spot, I bounced to hit the castle. My tail hitting the annoying humans that had dared to scream a little too high and my mouth coming down to break the stones, I looked at the remaining humans before me. They had dared to raise these… these… toothpicks at me! Toothpicks!
I snorted, smoke hitting them in their faces. Most of them ran. Actually, almost all of them ran away.
But the Princess… has stayed.
I grinned, my white teeth gleaming. She had grasped one of the discarded swords and had stared right into my eyes. Her aquamarine eyes sparkled with determination. <i>She</i> wanted to take me down.
<i>‘Bring it on, girl.’</i>
But her determination could not stand against my power. Yes, she made a little damage, but it was nothing. It was not cannons firing at me, I mean, it was not an army fighting me but just one little girl trying to hurt me with a stick. And the cuts were comparable to… paper cuts. Either way, she was unexpectedly easy to catch. No one had started firing the guns until I started flying with my tail wrapped around the Princess~~
Okay. Maybe at that moment I should have doubted of something. People were a little screaming and yelling the title of Prince Theodore, the girls were crying and the queen was literally hysterical. Apparently, the princesses were elsewhere that day. Something about the country being boring or something. I don’t really know but at the same time humans are so weird. Anyway, I was, unfortunately, not carrying a little girl that had tried to kill me with a chopstick but the only and legitimate heir of Katarilla.
Producing males were apparently hard for humans… But seeing how these males fared they may as well let us eat them…
<i>‘Thinking back, where was the King that day?’</i>
If only I had been in my human form, I could have kidnapped a princess. But no, nooooo, we, dragons, have pride! We, dragons, have to capture tiny humans in our godly big forms to assert our superiority over these tiny little beings that we could trample with a step. So, with our big ass eyes, we have to differentiate people with and without chests and tomboys and real boys.
So, when I had finally reached home (and thankfully retired in my quarters without letting anybody of my family know I was back – I bet they were drinking again), I had put <i>this thing</i> in my <strike>room</strike> lair.
That was only when it landed that <i>it</i> started to talk.
“OW!”
<i>It</i> had landed onto the ground with a big “thump” and had started talking about mistreatment against royalty and stuff.
<i>It</i> was not crying or whimpering or anything any other royalty did.
I snorted. It must be some abnormal reaction from stupid humans when they faced danger or fear. Brother used to tell me a hundred things about his fights against humans and how pathetic they could get for him to spare their lives or to get killed. But either way, he ate them. They tasted good apparently.
I yawned softly, if everything went well… I may have the chance to eat one. I ignored the background yelling and hit <i>it</i> with my tail. ‘Shut up,’ I wanted to yell, ‘shut up and just stay here like a good little girl!’
Moving slowly out of the room (which I did not lock because we, dragons, like to have a chance to threaten our prisoners with our pointy and shiny teeth,), I started my way to have dinner. Mom said she would make me a delicious lamb tonight! But first, I needed to be presentable! I beamed, entering my dresser to turn into my beautiful and perfect human form!
What I did not expect happened.
<i>It</i> opened the door.
“…You… are human?”
Uh. Oh.
I turned around naked like a newborn human. <i>It</i> was here.
“Are you… a Princess?”
The voice was unmistakable now. My head, normally high in the air, couldn’t have distinguished the masculine tone of his voice. My gigantic eyes couldn’t have seen his flat torso as well as I observed it now. And his obviously masculine clothing was naught but tissue I couldn’t differentiate from simple cloth in my dragon form.
<i>It</i> wasn’t the Princess.
It was a freaking, completely male human!
Every time a dragon became one hundred eighty year old, he had to earn his place as an independent being. They had to kidnap a nearby kingdom’s princess and must keep her until the kingdom gave offerings in hope to get onto their good sides (A proof that the dragon had successfully managed to scare them). If they failed, they had to stay within the household for at least one hundred years.
So cliché, right? Well, since we, dragons, are living really long and that this custom is <i>really</i> old, I guessed fairytales were, maybe, real. I just hoped they were not… After all, these stories sounded a little too much ‘unicorns with pink polka’ to me.
Oh, right, I didn’t tell you guys who I was. I, yes I am the heroine of this story, was called Bridget O’Brian and if you’re wondering, yes I had to catch a freaking princess. If I had to choose, I’d personally take the Queen. Or the King. Or the Empress. Yes, monarchs. But apparently, if you take monarchs, the kingdom would end in few months. My father said that people just <i>loved</i> losing their leaders so they could just be the leader. Really odd, I must tell you guys. What was the point of letting people kidnap your monarch?
Anyway, I had to kind of kidnap a princess since they were (and still are) much more common than princes. Apparently, royalty just hm… appreciate err… reproducing. I mean, did you see how many girls royalty have? Just… weird.
Oh, right, I was talking about kidnapping, right?
Well, here is the thing. Yesterday, planning to crash into a… uh… birthday party, I had specially sharpened my nails and even put on some nail polish! Pretty as I were, it was not necessary but, hey, it was MY maturing day, I ruled! So, after putting a beautiful green bow on my horns, I went to the party!
It was the birthday of a neighbor country’s Queen. That monarch had worn the most amazing tiara I had ever seen (which I would have gladly taken away if my kidnapping went badly) and by her side, stood the most attention-worthy person of the room, the Princess! Princesses had always and would always be an important thing. They were, after all, always linked to the power, all thanks to a tiny drip of blood. Oh, well, who am I to judge human laws? They sucked – you know it, I know it, period.
As the Princess made tons of other girls squealed, I decided it was time to attack! Coming out of my hiding spot, I bounced to hit the castle. My tail hitting the annoying humans that had dared to scream a little too high and my mouth coming down to break the stones, I looked at the remaining humans before me. They had dared to raise these… these… toothpicks at me! Toothpicks!
I snorted, smoke hitting them in their faces. Most of them ran. Actually, almost all of them ran away.
But the Princess… has stayed.
I grinned, my white teeth gleaming. She had grasped one of the discarded swords and had stared right into my eyes. Her aquamarine eyes sparkled with determination. <i>She</i> wanted to take me down.
<i>‘Bring it on, girl.’</i>
But her determination could not stand against my power. Yes, she made a little damage, but it was nothing. It was not cannons firing at me, I mean, it was not an army fighting me but just one little girl trying to hurt me with a stick. And the cuts were comparable to… paper cuts. Either way, she was unexpectedly easy to catch. No one had started firing the guns until I started flying with my tail wrapped around the Princess~~
Okay. Maybe at that moment I should have doubted of something. People were a little screaming and yelling the title of Prince Theodore, the girls were crying and the queen was literally hysterical. Apparently, the princesses were elsewhere that day. Something about the country being boring or something. I don’t really know but at the same time humans are so weird. Anyway, I was, unfortunately, not carrying a little girl that had tried to kill me with a chopstick but the only and legitimate heir of Katarilla.
Producing males were apparently hard for humans… But seeing how these males fared they may as well let us eat them…
<i>‘Thinking back, where was the King that day?’</i>
If only I had been in my human form, I could have kidnapped a princess. But no, nooooo, we, dragons, have pride! We, dragons, have to capture tiny humans in our godly big forms to assert our superiority over these tiny little beings that we could trample with a step. So, with our big ass eyes, we have to differentiate people with and without chests and tomboys and real boys.
So, when I had finally reached home (and thankfully retired in my quarters without letting anybody of my family know I was back – I bet they were drinking again), I had put <i>this thing</i> in my <strike>room</strike> lair.
That was only when it landed that <i>it</i> started to talk.
“OW!”
<i>It</i> had landed onto the ground with a big “thump” and had started talking about mistreatment against royalty and stuff.
<i>It</i> was not crying or whimpering or anything any other royalty did.
I snorted. It must be some abnormal reaction from stupid humans when they faced danger or fear. Brother used to tell me a hundred things about his fights against humans and how pathetic they could get for him to spare their lives or to get killed. But either way, he ate them. They tasted good apparently.
I yawned softly, if everything went well… I may have the chance to eat one. I ignored the background yelling and hit <i>it</i> with my tail. ‘Shut up,’ I wanted to yell, ‘shut up and just stay here like a good little girl!’
Moving slowly out of the room (which I did not lock because we, dragons, like to have a chance to threaten our prisoners with our pointy and shiny teeth,), I started my way to have dinner. Mom said she would make me a delicious lamb tonight! But first, I needed to be presentable! I beamed, entering my dresser to turn into my beautiful and perfect human form!
What I did not expect happened.
<i>It</i> opened the door.
“…You… are human?”
Uh. Oh.
I turned around naked like a newborn human. <i>It</i> was here.
“Are you… a Princess?”
The voice was unmistakable now. My head, normally high in the air, couldn’t have distinguished the masculine tone of his voice. My gigantic eyes couldn’t have seen his flat torso as well as I observed it now. And his obviously masculine clothing was naught but tissue I couldn’t differentiate from simple cloth in my dragon form.
<i>It</i> wasn’t the Princess.
It was a freaking, completely male human!
So, how do you feel about it? Truthfully, if you don't like it, I guess I'll move on.
Oh, and a little question. Would it annoy you if the Prince was the only datable guy? ^^" (I want to try to make it short since I am already facing self-confidence issue... orz)
