virgins....

[Akimaru]

This may sound like a weird question,
but how do you guys feel when in a(hentai) school game speaking or real life.
When you develop a relationship with someone, but you find out
he/she's not a virgin.
Or you knew from the start she wasn't a virgin would you still be interested in her?

I myself have no problem with this in a game or real life...but I know how many people just prefer their lovers to be virgins.

[clubanimon]

*twiches* Ooooh this topic...


*sighs* personaly I'd rather my partner NOT be virgin, at leat they'd know whats going on ._. <-virgin
but then again I'd kindda rather they hadn't slept with half the school for that matter, not saying its not possible to truly love them and vica verse...but god alot of people at my school could be carrying who knows what >.<

Virginity tends to give the idea of clean and safe enviroment.
Also I think theres a defference of virginity when people think of boys and girls. A 21 year old male virgin is a loser, a 21 year old vigin girl is 'cute, well behave, naive' I feel bad for the boys ^^;


AS for characters i think it all depends on the character, as it can dissilousin (sp) them.
If you adorable cute lil innocent bunny girl is indeed a true bunny girl and slept with several other people you gogin to go wtf i thought you were goodie goodie! Or if your big breated uber loose character ends up a 26 year old virgin you'll also be thrown for a loop.
If you into guy get, never trust bunny boys >.< Fox boys yes, bunny boys no. Personally I'd think it funny if the real macho guy ended up virgin.

Really I have no qualms one way or another, it just may make you reavaluate a persons character, which you do anyway when you learn new things about them.

[Akimaru]

But in a game....
Like in most Japanese games...all the girls no matter what age are virgins.
A girl who has a slutty personality ends up to be a virgin.
A hot teacher age 30 ends up to be a virgin.
A cute girll...etc.
I want people to enjoy the game but I also like a bit of realism, not a fantasy japanese world full of beatifull easy to get v's...

[papillon]

Also I think theres a defference of virginity when people think of boys and girls. A 21 year old male virgin is a loser, a 21 year old vigin girl is 'cute, well behave, naive' I feel bad for the boys ^^;

Depends on the observer as well. Repeating that as though it's obvious and valid is just reinforcing it. It's certainly not how *I* feel about 21 year old male virgins...

I'm married now, so things are a bit different, but really, it doesn't make that much difference, it just changes the overall picture slightly like any other piece of information.

Someone less experienced than you, you feel more like they won't judge you because they won't know what to expect. So they're less threatening. In the long run, though, you may start to worry that they've accepted you only *because* they don't know any better...

Someone more experienced than you, you feel like you can let them guide you a bit because they already know what they're doing. Once you get past the initial nervousness, this can make you feel more secure.

Someone WAY more experienced than you... well, probably wouldn't be my type.

[ShiraiJunichi]

Also I think theres a defference of virginity when people think of boys and girls. A 21 year old male virgin is a loser, a 21 year old vigin girl is 'cute, well behave, naive' I feel bad for the boys

...
A guy who restrains some of his most powerful innate desires simply so he can be intimate with only one girl- the girl of his dreams. So he can tell her that he's waited all his life so he can share this part of himself with only her... This guy is a loser? I'm sorry, but that really offends me...

Why is it different for a man than a woman? It's stupid- it shouldn't be that way. A man who sleeps around is thought of as normal, but a woman who does the same is a dirty slut. A female virgin is cute, but a male virgin is pathetic... These kind of double standards infuriate me...

Or you knew from the start she wasn't a virgin would you still be interested in her?

I think age group, and personal values are necessary to answer that question. The older someone is, the less they probably care- as they probably somewhat expect she isn't.

[papillon]

This Isn't Real Life Addendum - In a *school-based* game, I would prefer any student character I pursued to be a virgin, unless that person's last partner was a significant part of the storyline.

I don't like people sleeping around at a young age. I think sex should be in a relationship that you at least thought at the time was serious. So either the girl should be falling in love with *me* and considering *me* her important love that she thinks she's going to be with for a long time... or she should have started the game prominently paired with someone else that she thought she was in love with and who I had to win her away from. Or her past love died a tragic death and I'm helping her to recover from the trauma. Or something.

Adult characters, this doesn't matter as much, because they've had time to have had serious relationships in the past that didn't work out and are no longer affecting their lives. Or to have gone through an experimental phase and be over it now.

With student characters, if there's been a past sexual relationship, it should have been a significant one.

A young student game character who's had casual sex is going to drop right down on my list of characters in the game to pursue.

[clubanimon]

School could be college or university which is suposdily most peoples experimental stage, would you still apply that idea of wanting them to be mostly virgin say overa highschool one?

[Akimaru]

^Well high school games are more popular, because the girls are younger and wear a cute uniform. A university story means the girls are also older, so it's different.

Anyway what about a young girl who is really the most perfect girl you ever met, she's cute and shy,
and tells a tragic story to the player that she got raped and now since then she never has been herself again, her life has completely been ruined.

If I let the player make a choice of helping her or not.
Wouldn't the average player player just pick...nope you're not a virgin I rather go with loud mouth over there than be with you.
Nobody really feels sorry for her...which could turn out to be a really romantic story where more emotions will rise, like together seeking revenge and try to make her happy again, or would the average player decide to help her out?

[clubanimon]

I'd pick her, but i'm a angst romantic sap ^^
and univerity girls can were uniforms too if its jap style. and alto og girls can be highschool age too. I'm a university student and i started it when i was 17.

[papillon]

If I try to look at university life from a realistic perspective - I was a shy girl! Other people were experimenting and I wouldn't necessarily think they were bad people, but I wouldn't get romantically involved with them, either - not without expecting it to end badly. Someone who's currently having their wild experimental phase is not likely to stick around with me! I'm going to be just another flavor they tried...

In a realistic university setting, almost everyone you meet is going to have someone significant back home. Someone they were dating and broke up with before they went off to school, someone who they're supposed to be still dating but are cheating on, someone they are still dating and desperately trying to resist the temptation to cheat on, someone who never paid attention to them but they still can't get over...

While virginity is not expected to be as common in a realistic university, the past is still definitely significant. Finding out someone's past is pretty important here. It's impossible to predict which of the highschool sweethearts will manage to hang on to their bond through the university rollercoaster... and some will be constantly breaking up and getting back together every vacation...

With all that baggage, I'd almost rather not even bother with a realistic university romance. It all makes me start thinking about my hallmate giving sexual favors to a boy I went to sunday school with who was supposed to be still dating a girl back home WHILE her roommates were asleep in the room, and SHE hadn't technically broken up with her boy-back-home either, and then he visited the next weekend, and...

[clubanimon]

...wow it'd suck to be her roomate >>

[papillon]

Wouldn't the average player just pick...nope you're not a virgin I rather go with loud mouth over there than be with you.

*blink*

Now, I admit that I don't know much of anything about social norms. But I really wonder where on EARTH you got the idea that that's average behavior...

This is a cultural thing. In some cultures it is extremely shameful to have been a victim of rape. This seems to be true in Japan, or at least in the fictional Japan that we see represented in games and anime.

This is probably also true in various countries and some American small towns.

It also makes a difference who the rapist was - often in small communities if the villain was someone highly respected, then everyone turns on the victim.

Since the PLAYER is not subject to the cultural pressures that the character would be, the PLAYER would not be nearly as likely to reject the character as another character from the same small community would be.

In the english urban higher-educated communities that I have been a part of, "you were raped therefore you are not a virgin, ew" is ABSOLUTELY NOT average behavior.

Far more realistic behavior on a guy's part is "Oh shit - she probably hates all men now and is going to be a huge emotional handful." So in reality, many of them will back off slightly or switch from 'romance' to 'friend' because they are scared of how to handle it. (Guys also tend to believe that if a girl confesses rape to you *before* you get romantically involved, it means she sees you only as a friend and wants your emotional support.)

In a game, this is not as overwhelming an urge because a game character can't REALLY cause you as much emotional headache as an unstable girlfriend in real life can.

So while some people would be turned off by it, just as some people would be turned off by ANY character choice you made, I certainly wouldn't say that the average or majority of players would dump your girl because of that. Many of them wouldn't even think rape would COUNT as not being a virgin. I wouldn't.

[Akimaru]

Far more realistic behavior on a guy's part is "Oh shit - she probably hates all men now and is going to be a huge emotional handful." So in reality, many of them will back off slightly or switch from 'romance' to 'friend' because they are scared of how to handle it. (Guys also tend to believe that if a girl confesses rape to you *before* you get romantically involved, it means she sees you only as a friend and wants your emotional support.)

Ok I just asked another guy the same thing....I asked him what he'd think of her....He first talked about eww, disease blabla then he talked serious about it..(please note the guy is a virgin)
If he had a crush on her...than it's probably gone, he does feel feelings towards her to help her out, he'll see her more as a sister than someone he can built a relationship on. Then I asked him why, he answers: " I don't know...maybe because I want my first girl to be a virgin also"

My best friend who is not a virgin, he's kind of a moron, because he said he doesn't want to get involved with someone who has been raped....because her p**** has been tore up, and a lot of other nasty details. He said he doesn't want to be reminded of the act when he is with her. Then I reminded him that he goes out with girls who aren;t virgins.
He answers: " But that's different"

So imo if the average player is a virgin, which i kinda assume..
Then the attraction towards a virgin is much greater.
it would be kinda like "eww youre not a virgin"

[ShiraiJunichi]

Wouldn't the average player player just pick...nope you're not a virgin I rather go with loud mouth over there than be with you.
Nobody really feels sorry for her...which could turn out to be a really romantic story where more emotions will rise, like together seeking revenge and try to make her happy again, or would the average player decide to help her out?

... it's kind of sad that rape can be talked of so casually- but I guess it's a product of the H-games that pervade this genre... *sigh*

Personally, it doesn't matter if it's a game or real life. If I could in any way help someone who is going through something like that, I wouldn't think twice about it. And I certainly wouldn't hold any girl responsible for being raped... SHE is the victim- not the wrongdoer. I agree with Papillion, in that any girl who was a virgin before being raped, can still be considered a virgin after.

[monele]

Why is it different for a man than a woman? It's stupid- it shouldn't be that way. A man who sleeps around is thought of as normal, but a woman who does the same is a dirty slut. A female virgin is cute, but a male virgin is pathetic... These kind of double standards infuriate me...

Sadly, I think men sank this thought pattern the most . I certainly don't agree with it either.

About rape : I know I would feel uncomfortable with the girl, mostly because I'd be scared not to be able to help her. Having a romantic relationship, while not out of question, would seem more difficult : thinking being with her would make her forget about her bad experience would be kinda selfish, but just ignoring the possibility would be too... So it's rather complex.