Dog Dazed (idea) GxB game

[Fawn]

This is an idea I have for a GxB game. I've never tried to make a GxB game before, so I'd like some critique on this idea before I start doing the work (just in case it's really, really stupid haha ^^; ).

Title: Dog Dazed (pun on Dog Days)

Genres: Romantic Comedy, Drama and a little bit of Fantasy

Introductory Summary:

Melitsa (Mel) Duleche lives an average life working at her sister Selene's popular cafe. However, her life changes when her boyfriend (and roomate) Charles breaks up with her abruptly, leaving her alone with her two adopted dogs, Cookie and Toffee, in their tiny apartment. Just when things couldn't get any more difficult, the day after her break-up Mel comes home to two butt-naked men with dog ears waiting for her in her living room. The men claim to be Cookie and Toffee- her pet dogs!
Cookie and Toffee explain to Mel that they are actually Cynanthropes- men who can transform into dogs (and vise-versa). They have transformed back into human shape to assist Mel in her time of grief... And maybe even help her find new love.

Characters:

Melitsa Duleche (first name means "sweet" in Greek): 20 years old. Melitsa a modest girl who is easily embarrassed. She dreams of being a baker and is saving up money for culinary school. Despite liking baked goods, Melitsa can't stand things that are too sweet (such as divinity and hot chocolate) and prefers more savory pastries and bread.

Clyde (Cookie): 21 years old. Clyde is pure-bred Siberian Husky in dog form. He's often impatient and insecure when it comes to how others percieve him; but deep down he's really just a loyal puppy that needs reassurance. Clyde has a talent for making recipes out of anything and loves to bake cookies.

Todd (Toffee): 23 years old. Todd is a mutt in dog form, he resembles an Austrailan Shepherd. He has heterochromia- one green eye, one brown eye. Todd needs glasses in his human form due to poor vision. He loves to brew coffee and teas, often making his own blends. Despite his cool demeanor, he can be immature and sometimes doesn't control his temper very well when provoked.

Selene Duleche (first name means "moon" in Greek): 28 years old. Selene is Melitsa's older sister. She was once a famous model and has many high-profile contacts, one of which helped her open her cafe. She has a mysterious air about her. She fancies Clyde and isn't afraid to show him some physical (and unwanted) affection.

Charles: 22 years old. Melitsa's (ex-)boyfriend. He's very sauve, but on the inside he's selfish, lazy and money-obsessed. Melitsa knew him in High School and thought he was cool, so once they met again she asked him out. While he can be manipulative he's not very smart and handles serious situations like an angry teenage boy.

(There are currently 6 other minor characters, but I won't list them here due to spoilers)


Game progression plan:

- The game takes place over 5 weeks. There will be 2 "Acts": The First Act introduces the characters and setting to set up for the Second Act, which is centered on the guy players have the most points for.

- There are 5 endings planned, Good/bad endings for both guys at the end of Act 2 and a neutral ending. (If you get the neutral ending the game ends at the end of Act 1).

Feedback Questions (Please answer when commenting, it means a lot):

- What do you think of the premise? Is it good, bad, cheesy, uninteresting?

- What do you think of the obtainable guys (Clyde and Todd) and their designs?

- What about the main character, Melitsa? How is her design? Does she look too girly?

- Anything else you'd like to comment on/suggest.

Thanks for reading all this. I hope to start doing some final work on the game soon, but we'll see how life treats me haha...

[Razz]

Feedback!

First I love the name, it's very cute and i would keep it!

- What do you think of the premise? Is it good, bad, cheesy, uninteresting?
Gonna be honest it's a little cheesy, i think it's really hard to pull off the animal/human thing in an interesting way and it's just needs a little more oomph. I do like the idea of her getting left with the dogs though

- What do you think of the obtainable guys (Clyde and Todd) and their designs?
Very good! owo I like todd's the most, you can definitely see what kind of dog he'd be(in a good way) -very strong designs!

- What about the main character, Melitsa? How is her design? Does she look too girly?
From the thumbnail i thought selene was going to be the main character(because she's in the middle? lol) but i think i prefer her over Melitsa. Just the air she gives is more confident and that is unique in protagonists. Melitsas design is good though but just something i see in VN protags a lot.

Gah i hope i'm not being too harsh, i think you've got a solid idea all in all!

[Sapphi]

- What do you think of the premise? Is it good, bad, cheesy, uninteresting?

First of all, it's funny that you posted this, because recently I was thinking "Dude, if I made a GxB game, it would totally be about a female dogsled driver and her pack of assorted dog-men in the Alaskan Gold Rush." I haven't the time, knowledge, or creativity to create such a thing, but I would jump on it in a heartbeat if it was a game.

That said... I love the idea of woofy men, and the whole food theme is cute, although I'm not sure how well they work together. You say Mel is going to culinary school... and I assume she likes dogs... my logical train of thought would suggest "She is an eccentric cook who loves to make delicious pastries and treats for dogs and tests them on her own pets. She wants to run a Doggie Cafe eventually. Her friends get worried when she asks them to try her new creations."


- What do you think of the obtainable guys (Clyde and Todd) and their designs?

Gonna be honest, they don't do much for me. From a personal opinion POV, I don't like the whole "hipster" look on men, period, so that's probably a lot of it. From a more objective standpoint, I'm not really getting "Husky" and "Shepherd" from their designs. They look very... how do I put it... groomed. Huskies and Shepherds are working-class dogs, so I would expect their human forms to be a little more shaggy and rough around the edges. Right now, if you asked me what breeds I thought they belonged to I would be guessing small or medium-size dogs.

What about the main character, Melitsa? How is her design? Does she look too girly?

I think she's adorable! ^_^ I don't think she looks too girly. She seems very sweet, and the puffiness in her hairstyle ties in perfectly with the puffiness of her shirt. (The puffy twin-tails even make her look a little dog-like herself!)

Looking forward to see where you go with this!

[Blane Doyle]

- What do you think of the premise? Is it good, bad, cheesy, uninteresting?
Oh, this is most definitely cheesy. But not in the bad way! In the "this is so strange I am interested in it very much" sort of way! You had me at "dog boys", honestly I adore the concept of people with animalistic features like cat noses or ears or lizard tails, so this is right up my alley. And the basic plot of a woman left by her boyfriend and trying to cope is very relateable, but the addition of the dog guys makes it so much more unique. Also, food theme. A plus for me.

- What do you think of the obtainable guys (Clyde and Todd) and their designs?
I love their designs, and they sound interesting personality wise as well as unique from themselves. I can't say much with so little information, but what I am seeing so far is a good thing to me.

- What about the main character, Melitsa? How is her design? Does she look too girly?
BAH NO SUCH THING AS TOO GIRLY. I think she is simply adorable! I can't judge her now, since I don't see much about her personality, but I think you have a very good start for her.

[Fawn]

Thank you guys! I love honest feedback!

Some responses:

Gonna be honest it's a little cheesy, i think it's really hard to pull off the animal/human thing in an interesting way and it's just needs a little more oomph

I'll try to add as much oomph as I can. The boys don't completely act like dogs since they were raised mostly like regular humans, but sometimes they have doglike tendencies haha.

From the thumbnail i thought selene was going to be the main character(because she's in the middle? lol) but i think i prefer her over Melitsa. Just the air she gives is more confident and that is unique in protagonists.

Fixed that, I didn't realize it haha... To be honest I really love how Selene came out too, but, I feel she'd be too strong of a character to lead in this kind of story. Also I find shy protags easier to relate to/write in the perspective of. I guess in general they're easier to use as a main character as well since they can change much easier depending on choices (Melitsa is slightly different depending on which guy you pursue) that's probably why they're used so much. xD

"Dude, if I made a GxB game, it would totally be about a female dogsled driver and her pack of assorted dog-men in the Alaskan Gold Rush."

That sounds goood... *drools* I'd love to see that too.

You say Mel is going to culinary school... and I assume she likes dogs... my logical train of thought would suggest "She is an eccentric cook who loves to make delicious pastries and treats for dogs and tests them on her own pets. She wants to run a Doggie Cafe eventually. Her friends get worried when she asks them to try her new creations."

Actually she does cook dog treats/food too, it's just not her focus. I'm planning on having the guys still want to eat the treats even while they're human. (especially Todd)

she may end up opening up such a cafe in Todd's ending... shh!

Gonna be honest, they don't do much for me. From a personal opinion POV, I don't like the whole "hipster" look on men, period, so that's probably a lot of it. From a more objective standpoint, I'm not really getting "Husky" and "Shepherd" from their designs.

Maybe I made them too "modern", ha. Todd's outfit is actually based loosely on my boyfriend's clothing (besides the skinny jeans, I just thought Todd might be the type of guy to wear them) and Clyde's is inspired by Marshall Lee (genderbended Marceline from Adventure Time)'s clothes: http://i552.photobucket.com/albums/jj32 ... allLee.jpg yeah, I'm unoriginal ha. Red shirts and black hair look so good together, I had to steal it.

Should I make them more buff to fit the breeds? I'm thinking of making Todd a bit more buff especially...


I'm glad you all think Melitsa's cute so far, mission accomplished! Thanks everyone for the great feedback so far.

[gekiganwing]

Obviously, some people will dislike your game just because it includes characters who can turn from animal to human and vice versa. I don't have any issues with these themes, but just keep this in mind.

That said, one theme to consider: what's it like being a shapeshifter? Do the guys easily understand how dogs act, or is this something they have to learn? Do the guys have to undress in order to get into their dog forms?

I noticed that your main character's sister will express some interest in Clyde. This is not a bad idea. I like the idea of a romance game in which the main character will have a rival. (It's a little too common for the MC to be the only guy/girl who has any significant role in the story.)

[Sapphi]

I didn't necessarily mean "buff", but maybe just a little more... canine, somehow? Right now, Todd looks thoughtful in a coffee cup philosophical kind of way, and Clyde just looks really bored, with a potential for snarking. Neither of them look particularly like they would appreciate an active lifestyle. These are qualities you find a lot in people meant to be catlike, not doglike.

Your descriptions of the them do sound doglike to me, though. I've met sooo many impatient and insecure dogs, and bursts of bad temper can be very canine too! I would at least make Clyde look a little more enthusiastic since you describe him as having a puppy's mentality.

Ah, btw, I can safely imagine Todd with a hot Aussie accent, right?

[VagueZ]

I'm interested. Animal-boys catch my interest from the get-go.

- What do you think of the premise? Is it good, bad, cheesy, uninteresting?
It's pretty silly, but in a good way. The food elements are probably the big distinguishing feature for me. I'm interested in what exactly happened to end up with two young men living with Mel secretly as dogs, too.

- What do you think of the obtainable guys (Clyde and Todd) and their designs?
Well... personally I don't much care for facial hair on guys, so Todd is slightly less interesting for me. Two sets of ears, too, I notice, assuming the dog ears are functional. Clyde's dog ears look more like cat ears to me. They're good designs overall, but each has little details I felt I should mention that Sapphi didn't.

- What about the main character, Melitsa? How is her design? Does she look too girly?
She comes across as adorable. Looks good unless you didn't want that.

- Anything else you'd like to comment on/suggest.
I don't see much family resemblance between Mel and Selene. Intentional? I'm curious how the ex is going to get worked into all this, too--both why Mel first asked him out (you didn't mention a single positive trait for him!) and what his role is going to be here.

Basically, I'm very much interested in seeing more.

[Stargirl18]

I tottaly loved this game, I have always loved Cynanthropes i think them is intresant, the main character is lovely and cute plus the obtainable boys is very handsom and cute i loved the boys very much, And when the apply premise i think is very good. The game so awsome ut and i tottaly loved the name for the game. And Melitsa design is very lovely litte bit girly but other vise awsome. And here have i some suggest for you:

1. Mabey add date panel so we can see whis time and month is it.
2. try to add Map Movement
3. Mabey add some bad endings to the can do the game more intresant.

but othervise i loved this game and i goona play it when it comes ut.

[Fawn]

That said, one theme to consider: what's it like being a shapeshifter? Do the guys easily understand how dogs act, or is this something they have to learn? Do the guys have to undress in order to get into their dog forms?

This theme will be addressed for sure. To answer your questions, from what I've come up with so far: Cynanthropes can choose to stay in their human or dog form for the rest of their life, so they often interact with both dogs and humans. They act like dogs, but, they can still think like a human in dog form so they are more intelligent. The guys won't be transforming much besides their first transformation in the game since it actually takes them pretty long to make a transition into human form. Also, only people they choose can see their dog ears in human form (they have a kind of cloaking "magic" that hides their ears from regular humans). Since Melitsa is "allowed" to see Clyde and Todd's ears/tails, she can also see other cynanthropes' ears/tails.

Todd looks thoughtful in a coffee cup philosophical kind of way, and Clyde just looks really bored, with a potential for snarking.

Todd's supposed to be just like that, haha. Think of him as one of those really mellow laid-back dogs, the ones that like just sit with their master watching tv while receiving belly rubs. <3 And Clyde is actually pretty snarky, like one of those easily angered protective types of dogs. I definitely need to fix their ears though... I thought husky ears were more triangular for some reason. D:

I don't see much family resemblance between Mel and Selene. Intentional?

Selene really likes to dye her hair red and she keeps herself on a much stricter diet than Melitsa so she's generally very thin. She also wears lots of makeup, Mel doesn't. xD; If she didn't do these things she'd probably resemble Mel more.

I'm curious how the ex is going to get worked into all this, too--both why Mel first asked him out (you didn't mention a single positive trait for him!) and what his role is going to be here.

Mel asked him out for shallow reasons- his looks and "coolness". I wanted to put a moral in the game, and the moral is that you shouldn't get involved with someone you don't know well... It often leads to heart break!

[Chushiki Maho]

I've been stalking this thread for a while, and I can't hold it in any longer! Clyde is so beautiful TT.TT

Mel is adorable~ Your art is absolutely amazing. I like the concept, it's quite interesting. I tend to like, don't take this in offense, furries. That what I call people with animal like ears/tails/etc. And so far some people have taken it in offense... ^.^'''

best of luck to you.

[applegirl]

This looks great!

- What do you think of the premise? Is it good, bad, cheesy, uninteresting?
Love the premise, it really caught my attention and made this a must read VN
- What do you think of the obtainable guys (Clyde and Todd) and their designs?
Adorable and I love how they don't look like the same old VN obtainable guys. Very original and real, I love it.
- What about the main character, Melitsa? How is her design? Does she look too girly?
Looks great to me.

Haha, I wish I had a complaint so this post was useful constructive criticism. But, I love this idea and everything you presented. I eagerly anticipate reading this when you're done

[keke-chan]

Been stalking this thread for a while I love Melitsa, she's so cute :3 Although I agree with the people that are saying Todd and Clyde look more like cats than dogs, haha.

[Fawn]

@applegirl, keke-chan: Thank you, it's good to know this idea isn't stupid after all! xD I'm updating their looks as we speak, Clyde will have dog ears instead of those cat ears haha.

Thanks again for all the feedback.

[letter.vy]

I love the idea of the game!
I really like the character's designs~