Get that thing off your chest... Now...

[Tetiel]

I guess I'm just one of the few with side effects (That, or it's just something that happens to guys that get it). It's the one shot I hate getting (Still missing 1 dose, to be taken in September)

*shrugs* could very well be. Some people that get the tetnus shot also don't feel any pain. I get an extremely sore arm every time. On a side note, I actually had no idea they were giving it to guys now. Makes a lot of sense. When it first came out, they were only giving it to girls no older than 21. I thought it was a very stupid idea since it effects males as well.

[Victoria Jennings]

Just out of curiosity, are you having heartburn with your nausea? Have you vomited yet? What you're experiencing may just be stress, but it may be worth having a doctor check you out if this continues. At your age, not eating is pretty serious, especially if it's not on purpose. Teenagers are usually ravenous monsters even after they reach their full height. Sorry I'm just concerned ^^;

No heartburn, I think, and I haven't vomited yet, because when I start to feel sick eating something, I just stop eating it.

Also, can withdrawal from meds cause you to loathe existence? Thankfully, I don't think I'm suffering any physical side effects from not taking my meds (in fact, I feel a lot better physically than I did before), but... yeah, I'm beginning to hate everything. Like, I just don't even care anymore. :/

[Tetiel]

No heartburn, I think, and I haven't vomited yet, because when I start to feel sick eating something, I just stop eating it.

Also, can withdrawal from meds cause you to loathe existence? Thankfully, I don't think I'm suffering any physical side effects from not taking my meds (in fact, I feel a lot better physically than I did before), but... yeah, I'm beginning to hate everything. Like, I just don't even care anymore. :/

Well the lack of heartburn rules out most stomach issues. That happened to me when I was your age and I have a tendency to worry about things like that. Still, though, you should keep an eye on it (not like you have a choice)

And yes, absolutely yes. Withdrawl from any substance is hell, but depression/anxiety meds are the worst. I think I remember you saying you were on those before? I may be confused.

[Victoria Jennings]

And yes, absolutely yes. Withdrawl from any substance is hell, but depression/anxiety meds are the worst. I think I remember you saying you were on those before? I may be confused.

Yep, I was on an anti-depressant + mood stabilizers. I don't think they were really working, though, so... yeah, I'm pretty much giving up on trying to improve anything in my life now. Oh well.

Thanks for your concern, by the way. ; w ;

[Sharm]

I had some acid problems with my stomach and the only thing that indicated there was a problem was that I couldn't drink water. Turns out taking so many pills (my health is horrible) had made my stomach mad at me and all I needed was an acid reducer. In a pill *siiiiigh*.

Victoria, I really don't like that you've quit your meds like that, but if you're set on trying to go cold turkey on these pills you're going to need to be very careful. Have someone who knows what's going on keep an eye on you to give you a hug or just make sure you're alright when you're not feeling able to tell people what's going through your head and keep you from just disappearing and doing something stupid. Have a number of someone you can call at any time in case you get really bad, and be warned that your emotions are going to be all over the place, you're going to feel random false nerve signals like twitches, a general ill feeling or a static sensation like you can't think or move properly, and it will probably take weeks before that starts wearing off. I had to go cold on some depression meds once (Insurance, doctor and the pharmacy all had a different story and weren't talking properly) and it was awful.

[Victoria Jennings]

I had some acid problems with my stomach and the only thing that indicated there was a problem was that I couldn't drink water. Turns out taking so many pills (my health is horrible) had made my stomach mad at me and all I needed was an acid reducer. In a pill *siiiiigh*.

Oh jeez, that's really lame, man. orz

Victoria, I really don't like that you've quit your meds like that, but if you're set on trying to go cold turkey on these pills you're going to need to be very careful. Have someone who knows what's going on keep an eye on you to give you a hug or just make sure you're alright when you're not feeling able to tell people what's going through your head and keep you from just disappearing and doing something stupid. Have a number of someone you can call at any time in case you get really bad, and be warned that your emotions are going to be all over the place, you're going to feel random false nerve signals like twitches, a general ill feeling or a static sensation like you can't think or move properly, and it will probably take weeks before that starts wearing off. I had to go cold on some depression meds once (Insurance, doctor and the pharmacy all had a different story and weren't talking properly) and it was awful.

I can't get a refill on my meds until I can see a doctor, and I can't see a doctor until my other parents get home (my mom can't drive because of her DUI). I didn't just choose to stop taking meds; I didn't have a choice. For the most part, I'm just wondering if the reason I hate life so much (I actually didn't use to) is because of withdrawals or something. I just... don't want to have anything to do with people. I don't want them touching me, looking at me, talking to me... and this has extended to online friends as well. It's not so bad when I'm just talking on the forums, but when it comes to IMS...

And in the end, it's all my fault anyway, and I really do need to stop complaining. I guess I just want to figure out why my emotions went from being all over the place, to being extremely concentrated, to being almost nonexistent.

[Destiny]

I'm just wondering if the reason I hate life so much (I actually didn't use to) is because of withdrawals or something.

Yes, that is highly possible.
As far as I know your meds are for psychological problems?
Those have heavy side effects, while taking as well as for suddenly not taking them anymore.
Can be that you getting a depression thanks to that (maybe even suicide thoughts?).

I'm not sure but does Seattle have a emergency hotline?
In germany are such for different cases (one for meds, one for cases of sexual abuse or bullying, one for sickness questions, one for psychological problems). If yes, you could try that. They know if there is a clinic or doctor in your direct neighborhood where you can go. They can give you hints if there are any meds you could take. Or at least tell you if you (or your mother) should take precautions on your mental health.

[Victoria Jennings]

Yes, that is highly possible.
As far as I know your meds are for psychological problems?
Those have heavy side effects, while taking as well as for suddenly not taking them anymore.
Can be that you getting a depression thanks to that (maybe even suicide thoughts?).

Yeah, they are. And hmmm... I wonder what would happen if I just... after I got weaned off my meds, I mean, what if I stopped taking medication period? I wonder if that would actually improve my condition...

I'm not sure but does Seattle have a emergency hotline?
In germany are such for different cases (one for meds, one for cases of sexual abuse or bullying, one for sickness questions, one for psychological problems). If yes, you could try that. They know if there is a clinic or doctor in your direct neighborhood where you can go. They can give you hints if there are any meds you could take. Or at least tell you if you (or your mother) should take precautions on your mental health.

Yup, I called one once. As far as I know, everywhere has hotlines.

...You know, maybe I just need to take a break from certain things/people. I:

[Destiny]

Can be too.
Stress and stuff. Maybe realizing some people annoy you.
Still, watch after yourself and ask especially your mother to look for signs of your condition getting worse.
Not that you really suddenly think your better off dead just because your body desperatly asks for some pills ôo
And - just in case your oversensitive for negative input - don't take stuff from others too serious. I was once running wild on caffein, which resulted in me accusing a simple deliveryman (that brought the pizza I ordered) being a stalker trying to kill me. It can come to pretty serious paranoia.
Distance yourself for a bit and ignore others. Better then starting fights and being left with no friends once your body get's used to the missing meds (or you get your new ones).

And about simply stopping with medication:
That is NORMALLY no poblem, but you took many different meds and I guess, also a certain amount.
So your body is set out in the cold. Normally you start with slowly reducing the amount of drugs (like stopping smoking, you start with only smoking once a day, then you get a patch and stop smoking at all, etc, etc). Your way is very brutal to your organism, which will most possibly be the reason for your mood.
BUT since you feel well about how your body feels, then it is at least clear that the pills seemed to be not THAT healthy ôo

[Sharm]

Sorry I thought it was your choice, it wasn't my choice either when it happened to me. Your emotions being a mess are definitely because of the withdrawal. I've often found it odd that depression medication has stronger effects when you're not taking it. The thing that has me worried is that it's really easy to under or overestimate what's going on in your head and that can lead to some terrifying behavior. I used to just walk out the front door when no one was looking and keep walking. One time it was late at night just after a big snowstorm and a concerned cop brought me home. It wasn't until I was better for a long time that I understood why just going for a walk like that was a bad idea.

Actually, I would suggest not distancing yourself from people because of this. Often times with depression the thing that bothers you or is making you depressed is not the thing actually bothering you or making you depressed, though they can be tangentially related. That's not the point though, the point is that other people give you something to measure yourself against so you know how not normal you're being, they also keep you honest and safe. Distancing yourself from people is dangerous.

Something I forgot to mention, if you can get some sun, the vitamin D can be very helpful. I realize that where you live makes that very hard, but I also know the sun comes out a bit more often in the summer.

Good luck going through this!

[Victoria Jennings]

Actually, I would suggest not distancing yourself from people because of this. Often times with depression the thing that bothers you or is making you depressed is not the thing actually bothering you or making you depressed, though they can be tangentially related. That's not the point though, the point is that other people give you something to measure yourself against so you know how not normal you're being, they also keep you honest and safe. Distancing yourself from people is dangerous.

Something I forgot to mention, if you can get some sun, the vitamin D can be very helpful. I realize that where you live makes that very hard, but I also know the sun comes out a bit more often in the summer.

Good luck going through this!

Thanks, Sharm. And thanks to everyone.

I'll probably try and take your advice, even though the idea is highly repellent to me. :'B

[Tetiel]

Yeah, withdrawls are very dangerous :\ I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. I was trying to think of things this morning and outside of going to the hospital, I don't think there really IS anything to be done as you don't have any money to cover even co-pay on a doctor or medication. Seattle is pretty progressive, though. You may be able to take a bus to a free clinic and they may be able to help you out.

Googling a bit I found a clinic if things do get really bad:
http://pschristianclinic.org/about/our-services

Just keep your cool and keep telling yourself it's because of the withdrawls if you feel any weird thoughts going through your mind. Easier said than done, I know. Well, I hope it works out and the symptoms stop soon. This is no way to be spending your summer

[Lekhaka]

Try to make your surroundings bright (turning on lights, lamps, etc).

I think I recall a study in which environmental luminosity actually affects mood. (so it's not just a story metaphor where dark=gloom)

Which of course, also leads to similar things as suggested above...spend more time in the bright outdoors.

[MaiMai]

It's probably in bad form to mention former members of LSF that were banned, but I don't know whether to laugh or blow a raspberry at this.

Went to look back through my blog which I haven't updated since November 2011 since I've been busy with school, real life, and figuring out what I really want in a VN I would make and found some very... stupid comments. I deleted the comments (made in back in May 2012) already since they made me roll my eyes, but long story short, some user named Monkey (who I am pretty sure was just a sock for Wright100 or whatever) tries to preach to me in a comments in one of my posts about how I mentioned the Bible doesn't say that you have to be a vegetarian, but in fact I am so wrong.

And then he tried to slut-shame me about wanting to try out Samu-kun's game which has adult content saying that I shouldn't be looking at sexual content as a Christian. I'm sorry, I've watched rated R movies with my parents who are very Christian, but do not condone behavior from adult content media and I know perfectly well when some stuff is too much for me. Samu's game (which I loved for the heartbreaking scenes and not the adult content) is not too much.

I really try not to rant at times, but definitely needed to get this off my chest since I hate it when people try to preach to me about what I should and shouldn't be reading/watching in conjunction to my faith (ESPECIALLY from someone who doesn't know jack about me and who kept using a ton of references out of context to support his crappy arguments during his time here at LSF). That and explicit scenes of consensual sex doesn't bother me. ADDENDUM: Provided it can tie in w/ the narrative at hand and has it's results/consequences.

[Taleweaver]

I really try not to rant at times, but definitely needed to get this off my chest since I hate it when people try to preach to me about what I should and shouldn't be reading/watching in conjunction to my faith (ESPECIALLY from someone who doesn't know jack about me and who kept using a ton of references out of context to support his crappy arguments during his time here at LSF). That and explicit scenes of consensual sex doesn't bother me.

Yeah. Dat guy. I was dumb enough to answer to a few of his rants on his blog. He reacted by spamming my mailbox with hate sermons. Doesn't know squat about the religion he tries to use as a weapon but makes up for that by being all the more vocal about it. Dumbasses. Go figure.

Speaking of dumbasses, I am beginning to HATE the people who write the headlines in our daily newspaper. Last weekend: "Emergency landing in field - 3 dead" - Turns out 3 people died in a car crash because the driver was distracted watching a plane perform an emergency landing in a field. Passengers of the plane were fine.
*headdesk*