More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

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CheeryMoya
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More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#1 Post by CheeryMoya » Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:12 am

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"Will you love me forever?"
William and Shirley love each other with all their heart and have been going strong for quite some time, but one misunderstanding later and an irreversible tragedy occurs. Even after this, will their love stand the test of time?
It's more than a simple romance. This is a tale that will bring tears to your eyes.
ImageImageImage
Click the thumbnails to view the full screenshots.
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Will Philip and Taffy be able to get over their loss?
The story actually does not center around William and Shirley, if you're the kind of person who reads spoilers before playing. The game was intended to be a "don't write stories like this" sort of deal.
Credits:
Writing by CheeryMoya and Mink
Art
Philip and Taffy Sprites by Anna
William and Shirley Sprites by Tokudaya
Main Menu by Roiya
Chibis by untramen
Textbox and GUI by Sweet
Backgrounds by Auro-Cyanide
Custom Transition by "Hanagasa of Otohime" circle
Logo by iiStarCandy
Music
Sneeuwland by Oskar Schuster
Super Love by Macroform
Love Feeling by Yuki Toshi
Car Crash sfx by freeSFX.co.uk
Shaking Off The Rust by Jared C. Balogh
Last edited by CheeryMoya on Sat Feb 02, 2013 12:10 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#2 Post by wonderland » Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:36 am

There story was so touching.. I cried (;
But no, I think your game was so cute and funny! I really like the main characters giving their inputs & very informational ;P It was a very lovely game! :D
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Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#3 Post by xYuukix » Wed Jan 23, 2013 7:05 am

This looks nice and the art is beautiful ! Well I love touching and romance story alot ! :D Thx for the realese ! :lol: will tell you my opinion later ! *download*

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Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#4 Post by Carrogath » Wed Jan 23, 2013 12:17 pm

Ah, yes, a timeless story about star-crossed love... As Taffy suggests, it is possible to enjoy bad literature without falling into the trap of, well, tragically imitating it, and I like that she admitted that there's nothing wrong with having guilty pleasures. :) That being said, this is obviously a sort of self-help VN about avoiding the pitfalls of terrifically terrible prose. Poor Shirley, we never knew ye--like, literally. At all.

The critiques are pretty good! I'm aware that I'm probably not the intended audience--and I'm a little afraid that the intended audience just isn't going to get it, even when it's shoved in their faces--but you bring up a lot of good points: drama for the sake of drama is poor narrative etiquette, and purple prose is as obnoxious as it is boring. I'd love to see an extended version of this, where our heroes Taffy and Phil judiciously rip apart bad examples of other genres.

Now for my critique: the William and Shirley parts were frustrating to read, mainly because my eyes were flickering back and forth between the commentary on top and the prose down below. It was a little too much all at once. I think it'd be a little easier if we were able to absorb the awful fiction first and then hear Taffy's and Phil's commentary on it. Also, even though they have a lot of good things to say, Phil is unfortunately right--the analysis was dry and not very fun to read. :/
Anyway, this is good stuff; I just wish it were a bit more engaging.

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Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#5 Post by Mink » Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:54 pm

Now that you say that, I just thought it could've been made to be like a quiz game type thing. But Moya's the programmer, so that'd be up to her. 8D

Also I'm on a dying laptop, so questions/comments best go to Moya, to be safe. >_>
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Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#6 Post by WickedRaccoon » Wed Jan 23, 2013 4:48 pm

This game looks so interesting,I'm downloading it and will give my review when I play it!

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Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#7 Post by Amiralo » Wed Jan 23, 2013 6:59 pm

..........
what can I say? I am trollolllolllo-ed
(to be honest, I was expecting heartbreaking korean drama.)
...........
Well, awesome art and music though. and the plot was interesting enough on its own. ( nothing like a good literary discussion...-_-)
Look forward to your upcoming works

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Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#8 Post by Blue Lemma » Wed Jan 23, 2013 8:13 pm

It looks good, but I don't want to be depressed!

Don't you know the proper protocol for this stuff is to smack the reader with it when they least expect it? ;)

Well, maybe I'll give it a whirl. What's the estimated play time or word count?
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Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#9 Post by CheeryMoya » Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:27 pm

@wonderland: Thanks for playing and enjoying the game! I'm glad you liked the characters, I made sure to pick up CC/Public Domain stuff that looked good. The script for the story was written about a year ago and if I was going to get it off the shelf, I was gonna at least make it look nice.
Had I released this without working with Mink, I would have chosen intentionally bad graphics and stuff. That, and none of the critique would be there, making it a pretty worthless release. Glad I waited >_>
@Carrogath: Thank you for the lengthy review!
I was worried that the commentary on the top would be distracting, but putting it at any other time wouldn't make much sense. Some people also like to talk during movies and stuff (like me) so we could attribute it to being annoying in nature, but I'll see if I can find a way to have that section toggled on or off.
It's hard to make the critique interesting to read, especially since it was for their school assignment. I hoped that the chibis would be enough to keep players entertained but if we do a major update we'll try to find a way to make it more fun. It's also great that you got the point too, thank you :'D
@Amiralo: Can you put that in spoilers? Sorry if you were expecting something else but we were targeting a certain audience, like Carrogath had guessed. Ironically, the group that would enjoy this game might not even check this thread because of the title.

@Blue Lemma: It's a very short game, it's not even 2K words according to the Lint report. That probably excludes the screens though, IDK how Lint picks up word count. You won't be sad for too long or at all in the first place if I can gleam what kind of personality you have over the internet :lol: Mink told me that she'd love to see the story extended so if there's enough interest, I could. The initial tragedy would just happen very early.

BTW, if you're like me and laugh whenever someone accidentally leaves the .rpy files open, this time it's intentional. I commented the script.rpy a lot so others could look at it, seeing as to how I used this for coding practice. For a short game I want to say it's pretty polished so you might benefit from looking at the source code.
Also, does anyone want to try their hand at catching all the references? There's some songs, a Shakespearean one,
even the whole story is a reference.
You'd get bragging rights :V

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Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#10 Post by RunicV » Sat Jan 26, 2013 6:47 am

Just finished reading this.

It was a pretty short and sweet story. The characters' input was funny and engaging, and while their analysis was a bit boring it was a sweet read. The book was clearly exaggerating, so the analysis also seemed a bit too... serious. It would've been better if they had did an analysis of a not-so-good book rather than a terrible book.

The title screen art was really gorgous. The commentary on the book was also a bit hard to read, and during the analysis, when the character sprites changed, it was really jarring to have the whole textbox suddenly disappear with the words. It would've been better if it had stayed.

Overall, it was a nice game for a short read, and it was pretty unique. There wasn't anything special about it, but I don't think that was your intention anyway. Congratulations on this random release.
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Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#11 Post by CheeryMoya » Sat Feb 02, 2013 12:13 am

RunicV wrote:The commentary on the book was also a bit hard to read, and during the analysis, when the character sprites changed, it was really jarring to have the whole textbox suddenly disappear with the words. It would've been better if it had stayed.
I learned that using with dissolve on expression changes looked far nicer than without so I was applying that to all the images. It's Ren'Py default that the textbox disappears entirely but I made it so the image of it remains. Doesn't help the text though. Believe me, I tried to find a way to use ATL to amend this but eventually I gave up since it's a minor thing that only applies to NVL mode.
Overall, it was a nice game for a short read, and it was pretty unique. There wasn't anything special about it, but I don't think that was your intention anyway. Congratulations on this random release.
It's based off another story but I guess that one's faded into obscurity :c I actually made one blog post about this project before but it was too small for a WIP thread. This certainly isn't my first game, either way.

In other news, Version 1.1 is out. Gets rid of that annoying disappering-NVL-box deal and has the new logo done by iiStarCandy. Nothing major that you need to download again. There's also the Webstory Engine port which I used as practice to get used to the engine. You can play that here.

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Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#12 Post by Boomsickle » Mon Feb 04, 2013 5:27 am

I could of sworn ive read a similar story like the web version from spam on facebook. It made me download the full game though so good job.

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Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#13 Post by reikolovesyou » Mon Feb 25, 2013 8:43 pm

This KN really caught my eyes and was really looking forward to playing it! Sadly it didn't work on my laptop :( just came up with a blank black screen :/

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Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#14 Post by Kokoro Hane » Fri Mar 01, 2013 9:06 pm

Downloaded the game, and I must say, I loved it!
I was expecting a really sad, Kinetic novel, but I was totally surprised! The theme of reading a really, really poorly written romance novel was genius! I thought the main characters comments at the top as the narrative went on was very entertaining, especially Phil's!
My only complaint is that it wasn't longer. I would of loved to know what would of happened further ^.-
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Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#15 Post by khfan12 » Mon Apr 22, 2013 11:44 pm

Okay, I thought this game was really cute! xD

I really liked the comments that Taffy and Phil kept making, especially the comments toward the end of the "story" :lol: All in all, I thought that it was very amusing. I also agreed with Phil during most of the VN.

I laughed so much during this :lol:
Last edited by khfan12 on Sun Apr 28, 2013 2:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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