More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

Finished games are posted here, once they've been tested and are ready for wide release.
Forum rules
Adult content should not be posted in this forum.
Message
Author
CheeryMoya
Miko-Class Veteran
Posts: 892
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2012 4:09 am

More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#1 Post by CheeryMoya »

Image
"Will you love me forever?"
William and Shirley love each other with all their heart and have been going strong for quite some time, but one misunderstanding later and an irreversible tragedy occurs. Even after this, will their love stand the test of time?
It's more than a simple romance. This is a tale that will bring tears to your eyes.
ImageImageImage
Click the thumbnails to view the full screenshots.
Image
Will Philip and Taffy be able to get over their loss?
The story actually does not center around William and Shirley, if you're the kind of person who reads spoilers before playing. The game was intended to be a "don't write stories like this" sort of deal.
Credits:
Writing by CheeryMoya and Mink
Art
Philip and Taffy Sprites by Anna
William and Shirley Sprites by Tokudaya
Main Menu by Roiya
Chibis by untramen
Textbox and GUI by Sweet
Backgrounds by Auro-Cyanide
Custom Transition by "Hanagasa of Otohime" circle
Logo by iiStarCandy
Music
Sneeuwland by Oskar Schuster
Super Love by Macroform
Love Feeling by Yuki Toshi
Car Crash sfx by freeSFX.co.uk
Shaking Off The Rust by Jared C. Balogh
Last edited by CheeryMoya on Sat Feb 02, 2013 12:10 am, edited 2 times in total.

User avatar
wonderland
Regular
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2012 12:22 am
Projects: Fairy Tale Stupor [GxB] [Fantasy] [Adventure]
Contact:

Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#2 Post by wonderland »

There story was so touching.. I cried (;
But no, I think your game was so cute and funny! I really like the main characters giving their inputs & very informational ;P It was a very lovely game! :D
"Keep your head up princess, if not the crown falls.."
Image

User avatar
xYuukix
Newbie
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2013 6:23 am
Contact:

Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#3 Post by xYuukix »

This looks nice and the art is beautiful ! Well I love touching and romance story alot ! :D Thx for the realese ! :lol: will tell you my opinion later ! *download*

Carrogath
Regular
Posts: 106
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2012 12:08 pm
Completed: Basiliska, Green Eyed Monster
Tumblr: carrogath
Location: United States
Contact:

Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#4 Post by Carrogath »

Ah, yes, a timeless story about star-crossed love... As Taffy suggests, it is possible to enjoy bad literature without falling into the trap of, well, tragically imitating it, and I like that she admitted that there's nothing wrong with having guilty pleasures. :) That being said, this is obviously a sort of self-help VN about avoiding the pitfalls of terrifically terrible prose. Poor Shirley, we never knew ye--like, literally. At all.

The critiques are pretty good! I'm aware that I'm probably not the intended audience--and I'm a little afraid that the intended audience just isn't going to get it, even when it's shoved in their faces--but you bring up a lot of good points: drama for the sake of drama is poor narrative etiquette, and purple prose is as obnoxious as it is boring. I'd love to see an extended version of this, where our heroes Taffy and Phil judiciously rip apart bad examples of other genres.

Now for my critique: the William and Shirley parts were frustrating to read, mainly because my eyes were flickering back and forth between the commentary on top and the prose down below. It was a little too much all at once. I think it'd be a little easier if we were able to absorb the awful fiction first and then hear Taffy's and Phil's commentary on it. Also, even though they have a lot of good things to say, Phil is unfortunately right--the analysis was dry and not very fun to read. :/
Anyway, this is good stuff; I just wish it were a bit more engaging.

User avatar
Mink
Eileen-Class Veteran
Posts: 1099
Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2011 1:00 am
Completed: Say You Love Me (Short Version), C!P (NaNo12), Lady Misfortune, NatH, W/K, MtF, SMQ, TBM, TMHK, LoC, MMDG
Projects: Stuff
Organization: Metal Orphans
Location: Somewhere that's green
Contact:

Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#5 Post by Mink »

Now that you say that, I just thought it could've been made to be like a quiz game type thing. But Moya's the programmer, so that'd be up to her. 8D

Also I'm on a dying laptop, so questions/comments best go to Moya, to be safe. >_>
"I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love."

***Say You Love Me***Human Enough***Cheerful!Polymorph [NaNo12][Complete!]***
Image
"Couldn't you stop this?"
"Probably, but I don't want to."


*Website, yo*

User avatar
WickedRaccoon
Veteran
Posts: 335
Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2012 4:43 pm
Location: Athens,Greece
Contact:

Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#6 Post by WickedRaccoon »

This game looks so interesting,I'm downloading it and will give my review when I play it!

User avatar
Amiralo
Regular
Posts: 100
Joined: Sun Jan 13, 2013 4:06 am
Completed: What's your name? : 2017 nano reno, Saccharine: a misleading sim date. Reverie: an odd simdate. Where adabans grow: an asian simdate. Monochrome and colors.
Projects: Enwiss the Beloved
Organization: Amiralo
Deviantart: Amiralo
Contact:

Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#7 Post by Amiralo »

..........
what can I say? I am trollolllolllo-ed
(to be honest, I was expecting heartbreaking korean drama.)
...........
Well, awesome art and music though. and the plot was interesting enough on its own. ( nothing like a good literary discussion...-_-)
Look forward to your upcoming works

Blue Lemma
Forum Founder
Posts: 2005
Joined: Sat Jan 25, 2003 2:32 pm
Completed: ToL, Shoujo Attack!, Lemma Ten
Projects: [RETIRED FROM FORUM ADMINISTRATION - CONTACT PYTOM WITH ISSUES]
Contact:

Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#8 Post by Blue Lemma »

It looks good, but I don't want to be depressed!

Don't you know the proper protocol for this stuff is to smack the reader with it when they least expect it? ;)

Well, maybe I'll give it a whirl. What's the estimated play time or word count?
“Among those who dislike oppression are many who like to oppress.”
- Napoleon Bonaparte


I've retired from forum administration. I do not add people to the "adult" group, deactivate accounts, nor any other administrative task. Please direct admin/mod issues to PyTom or the other mods : )

CheeryMoya
Miko-Class Veteran
Posts: 892
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2012 4:09 am

Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#9 Post by CheeryMoya »

@wonderland: Thanks for playing and enjoying the game! I'm glad you liked the characters, I made sure to pick up CC/Public Domain stuff that looked good. The script for the story was written about a year ago and if I was going to get it off the shelf, I was gonna at least make it look nice.
Had I released this without working with Mink, I would have chosen intentionally bad graphics and stuff. That, and none of the critique would be there, making it a pretty worthless release. Glad I waited >_>
@Carrogath: Thank you for the lengthy review!
I was worried that the commentary on the top would be distracting, but putting it at any other time wouldn't make much sense. Some people also like to talk during movies and stuff (like me) so we could attribute it to being annoying in nature, but I'll see if I can find a way to have that section toggled on or off.
It's hard to make the critique interesting to read, especially since it was for their school assignment. I hoped that the chibis would be enough to keep players entertained but if we do a major update we'll try to find a way to make it more fun. It's also great that you got the point too, thank you :'D
@Amiralo: Can you put that in spoilers? Sorry if you were expecting something else but we were targeting a certain audience, like Carrogath had guessed. Ironically, the group that would enjoy this game might not even check this thread because of the title.

@Blue Lemma: It's a very short game, it's not even 2K words according to the Lint report. That probably excludes the screens though, IDK how Lint picks up word count. You won't be sad for too long or at all in the first place if I can gleam what kind of personality you have over the internet :lol: Mink told me that she'd love to see the story extended so if there's enough interest, I could. The initial tragedy would just happen very early.

BTW, if you're like me and laugh whenever someone accidentally leaves the .rpy files open, this time it's intentional. I commented the script.rpy a lot so others could look at it, seeing as to how I used this for coding practice. For a short game I want to say it's pretty polished so you might benefit from looking at the source code.
Also, does anyone want to try their hand at catching all the references? There's some songs, a Shakespearean one,
even the whole story is a reference.
You'd get bragging rights :V

RunicV
Veteran
Posts: 240
Joined: Tue May 29, 2012 12:06 am
IRC Nick: RunicV
Contact:

Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#10 Post by RunicV »

Just finished reading this.

It was a pretty short and sweet story. The characters' input was funny and engaging, and while their analysis was a bit boring it was a sweet read. The book was clearly exaggerating, so the analysis also seemed a bit too... serious. It would've been better if they had did an analysis of a not-so-good book rather than a terrible book.

The title screen art was really gorgous. The commentary on the book was also a bit hard to read, and during the analysis, when the character sprites changed, it was really jarring to have the whole textbox suddenly disappear with the words. It would've been better if it had stayed.

Overall, it was a nice game for a short read, and it was pretty unique. There wasn't anything special about it, but I don't think that was your intention anyway. Congratulations on this random release.
Hatred: the absence of love.
Please, treat me with kindness.

CheeryMoya
Miko-Class Veteran
Posts: 892
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2012 4:09 am

Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#11 Post by CheeryMoya »

RunicV wrote:The commentary on the book was also a bit hard to read, and during the analysis, when the character sprites changed, it was really jarring to have the whole textbox suddenly disappear with the words. It would've been better if it had stayed.
I learned that using with dissolve on expression changes looked far nicer than without so I was applying that to all the images. It's Ren'Py default that the textbox disappears entirely but I made it so the image of it remains. Doesn't help the text though. Believe me, I tried to find a way to use ATL to amend this but eventually I gave up since it's a minor thing that only applies to NVL mode.
Overall, it was a nice game for a short read, and it was pretty unique. There wasn't anything special about it, but I don't think that was your intention anyway. Congratulations on this random release.
It's based off another story but I guess that one's faded into obscurity :c I actually made one blog post about this project before but it was too small for a WIP thread. This certainly isn't my first game, either way.

In other news, Version 1.1 is out. Gets rid of that annoying disappering-NVL-box deal and has the new logo done by iiStarCandy. Nothing major that you need to download again. There's also the Webstory Engine port which I used as practice to get used to the engine. You can play that here.

User avatar
Boomsickle
Regular
Posts: 162
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2012 8:54 pm
Completed: Victorian Olives
Contact:

Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#12 Post by Boomsickle »

I could of sworn ive read a similar story like the web version from spam on facebook. It made me download the full game though so good job.

reikolovesyou
Newbie
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Sep 10, 2012 7:12 pm
Contact:

Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#13 Post by reikolovesyou »

This KN really caught my eyes and was really looking forward to playing it! Sadly it didn't work on my laptop :( just came up with a blank black screen :/

User avatar
Kokoro Hane
Eileen-Class Veteran
Posts: 1236
Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2011 6:51 pm
Completed: 30 Kilowatt Hours Left, The Only One Girl { First Quarter }, An Encounter ~In The Rain~, A Piece of Sweetness, Since When Did I Have a Combat Butler?!, Piece by Piece, +many more
Projects: Fateful Encounter, Operation: Magic Hero
Organization: Tofu Sheets Visual
Deviantart: kokoro-hane
itch: tofu-sheets-visual
Contact:

Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#14 Post by Kokoro Hane »

Downloaded the game, and I must say, I loved it!
I was expecting a really sad, Kinetic novel, but I was totally surprised! The theme of reading a really, really poorly written romance novel was genius! I thought the main characters comments at the top as the narrative went on was very entertaining, especially Phil's!
My only complaint is that it wasn't longer. I would of loved to know what would of happened further ^.-
PROJECTS:
Operation: Magic Hero [WiP]
Piece By Piece [COMPLETE][Spooktober VN '20]
RE/COUNT RE:VERSE [COMPLETE][RPG]
Since When Did I Have a Combat Butler?! [COMPLETE][NaNoRenO2020+]
Crystal Captor: Memory Chronicle Finale [COMPLETE][RPG][#1 in So Bad It's Good jam '17]

But dear God, You're the only North Star I would follow this far
Owl City "Galaxies"

User avatar
khfan12
Regular
Posts: 137
Joined: Mon Apr 22, 2013 10:41 pm
Completed: Clarity, a MH KN
Projects: "With You", Truculence
Contact:

Re: More than Forever: A Tragic Love Story [KN]

#15 Post by khfan12 »

Okay, I thought this game was really cute! xD

I really liked the comments that Taffy and Phil kept making, especially the comments toward the end of the "story" :lol: All in all, I thought that it was very amusing. I also agreed with Phil during most of the VN.

I laughed so much during this :lol:
Last edited by khfan12 on Sun Apr 28, 2013 2:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot]