kura-ou wrote:I'm really scared...and kind of sad...
This afternoon, when I prepared to sign up for classes for this fall, my university decided to charge me over $1k and didn't even state a reason. This type of thing wasn't there 3 days ago, and I am really disappointed because I wanted to get all the classes I need to graduate (I'll already be a year or two behind because classes aren't offered as often enough), but it looks like all the core classes I need will be filled. I'm planning on giving them my mind tomorrow because it's ridiculous. They already took all of my grant money for tuition, and now, I barely have enough for some of my required texts, let alone summer tuition, fall tuition and even gas money for the specimen-collecting field trips outside of class this quarter. My grant has already been cut for next Fall, I'm really angry that they decided to do this to me without reason. I'm scared that if it is legit, I wouldn't know what to do to pay for these fees... ._.
And, well, I suppose I shouldn't have any expectations for fake friends. I barely met them only a few months ago last year. They 'act' nice, and that's about it. Whenever they're in need of $ for necessities, I always try to find a way to promote their causes and have even donated money to one of them because it was a matter of life/death. It wasn't much to normal people, but being as poor as I am, it was to me...I guess I'm disappointed that the person didn't even thank me. When one of my family members was in trouble and needed funds for medicine, one of my previous commissioners saw how distraught I was and offered to commission me to help pay for the medicine. It was really kind, and I graciously thanked the person.
I don't want to sound as if I'm morally-superior or anything, but well, I guess those people who called themselves my 'friends' aren't really. I find it funny, however, that I'm poorer than them and try to do my best to help them out, and in return, whenever I need help, no one cares. I kind of wish that I never met them because I value the real online friends that I made a few years ago so much more. They're not a burden to me, and we're all mutually-caring of one another.
I try to do the right thing when I can, because it feels nice and I like making others happy...? And having such an ill-defined friendship with these others isn't really helping me and I often think that they're ridiculing me behind their back, being in their own clique and such with popular, influential people.
I'm not the type to let people walk all over me, and when I do get fed up, I would hope that it's for a good reason. Of course, it hurts when someone you used to look up to is supporting these people and finds you insignificant after so many years of knowing each other...
I haven't made any real friends at uni yet, my two best friends are really amazing, but we are nowhere near each other and one of them has really settled in well. I'm glad for her, but we barely skype. My other friend is struggling with his course. The important thing to know is how much of a friend someone is.
There's this one guy I always sit with, but we're 'default friends', we went to the cinema once in October, and he kept trying to turn it into a date. One of the lecturers asked me to give him something, but we don't text, call or email each other, we don't even really like each other that much, but we always save each other a seat because standing around in a practical to find out who else is left over is incredibly awkward.
It's basically each other or nothing, so far we're sticking with each other, even though we have basically nothing in common, we do eat together in the canteen though.
Also one of my best friends came out as gay, which is okay, but I was hitting on him, and he thought I was flirting playfully when actually, I've been hung up on him for years. We dated, then he became really distant, but we were getting a hard time at school and he didn't tell me why, then he came out as a straight guy rather than a cis-girl (people thought we were lesbians, I'm actually pansexual). He needed a friend more than a girlfriend, but we were essentially still acting like we were dating, but without the kissing, we held hands etc. Which he didn't do with our other best friend. He never actually broke up with me, so it got really awkward when people asked if we were dating, because "I have no clue, but whatever we're doing our parents don't like it."
Mum kept setting me up on dates with guys, and trying to encourage me to be straight. It turned out, that she actually just
really, really wants grandchildren. and after I pointed out that if I was with a guy and didn't want a child, I'd be using contraception anyway, and if I was with a woman and wanted children, we could get a sperm donor or adopt or whatever. Now she just keeps trying to dissuade me from dating people who don't want children. She basically assumed that if I settled with a woman (gay marriage was illegal at this time) the chances of her getting grandchildren plummeted, then again, my elder sister is engaged and I like a gay guy so.......
He has some really good friends at his uni, he's kind of going through some really bad stuff at the moment, so I can't tell him how I feel, normally it would be best if I could tell him, because some distance would do me some good, and if he knew why I needed it, he'd give it to me, also sometimes he asks me for advice about a guy he likes, and it's not really a topic I want to talk about. But at the minute he needs all the friends he can get, so I am both happy and dreading it every time he comes online.
I've tried really, really hard to make friends, but it just isn't happening, it doesn't help that my parents need money at the moment, so I'm trying to spend as little as possible, so the few times I do get invited places, I can't actually go. The closest friend I have, is actually my hamster, unless you count my laptop, I named it Naribelle, I named my cyclamen Chlamydia, it died.......
I like your art by the way, the shading on your sprites is awesome.
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