Sophie [Try-and-die, Slice-Of-Life, friendship? GxB?] [VN]

[Didules]

(This is my very first VN, it was done rather quickly during March in order to learn more about Ren'py and to see if I could actually do it...)

Synopsis:
This is the story of Sophie's holidays, boring as ever. She doesn't realize that she may be the unluckiest girl on Earth. Will she survive through this summer? Or will she die?

Features:
6 endings (5 "bad" and 1 "true" ending) for 5 menus (a bad answer = a bad end)
5 CGs (4 are chibis though) + 4 bonus CGs when you get the true ending
Almost 2700 words
A gallery
Maybe 20 minutes to finish the game entirely
Fun (?)


Download:
/!\ The game is in FRENCH first, so remember to switch the language to ENGLISH in the Preferences before playing!
Download here for Linux/Mac/Win

Of course, I'd be glad to receive any feedback/comments on anything you liked/disliked Here is a few questions if you don't know what to write:
-What is the first ending you got?
-What is your favorite ending?
-How did you find the translation/english version? (if you can play the french version (if you have a good understanding of French!), I'd advise you to do so, both version have their own style since the translator had complete freedom to do her work )

I hope you have fun while playing!

Credits:
Art, story, coding: Didules
Translation, proofreader: Minilys
Musics: Kevin MacLeod
Made with Ren'py
And with the help of many other people

[asakura9]

-What is the first ending you got?
I'm dead at the first choice xD
-What is your favorite ending?
Naturally the true ending ^^
-How did you find the translation/english version? (if you can play the french version, I'd advise you to do so, both version have their own style since the translator had complete freedom to do her work )
I'm French so I have just played the French version. (too lazy to play both =p)

I'm dead at each choice so I have got all the bad ending... xD But it was a fun game ! I like the art.
And I really liked Gaël ! <3
I just think that it would be more great if it was a true GxB !

[Didules]

I'm dead at each choice so I have got all the bad ending... xD But it was a fun game ! I like the art.
And I really liked Gaël ! <3
I just think that it would be more great if it was a true GxB !

(Français! ) Je sais, mais au final je me suis dit que cela n'irait pas bien avec l'idée du try-and-die ^^" Peut-être un jour, qui sait? Et tout le monde a aimé Gaël jusque là XD
Merci d'y avoir joué et d'avoir posté ton avis! Si tu as eu toutes les fins dans ce cas tu as aussi eu les CG bonus dans la galerie

En: I know, but in the end it didn't fit well with the "try-and-die" part ^^" but maybe one day... who knows? So far everybody liked Gaël
Thank for playing and posting your opinion on it If you got all the endings, then it means you also got the bonus CG in the galery!

[minilys]

(Français) Félicitations pour ton premier "vrai" téléchargement Didules, il n'y a que moi qui préfère Bertrand jusqu'ici... ><

(English) Congratulations for this first "real" download Didules, so far, I'm the only one who like Bretrand better... ><

[Didules]

(English) Congratulations for this first "real" download Didules, so far, I'm the only one who like Bretrand better... ><

So when I gave the game to my friends it wasn't a "real" download? That's kinda sad! But you're right! I'm now waiting for an "outside France" download XD (and I know you're waiting for one too ) And yeah, Bertrand isn't popular it seems!!

[minilys]

Yeah, let's hope for my "crash test"... I'm kinda scared of the result, now...

[sonorousgem]

I'm from the United States and am currently playing your game...
my French is really bad, so I'll probably have to play the English version when I'm done.

I'll update this once I finish!

- I tried playing through the French version, but I was sort of confused because my French is so bad, so I died after like the third choice or something. ._. Then I tried choosing something different when I played through in English, but I'd got that choice right before so I died the second time.
- I don't think I got all the endings, but the only one I got when I didn't die was when she said she had friends.

Are there endings when you end up with only one of them...?

- The translation was fine for the most part. A couple lines were a little awkward and there were maybe two lines that weren't translated (they were still in French).

I've never played a "try-and-die" game before... it's somewhat interesting but pretty depressing. I always felt the need to pick "the safest choice." Also, the characters didn't really stand out to me, though I will say that I was pretty focused on trying to stay alive. Maybe I shouldn't have tried so hard, because when Sophie was alive, I was just about as bored as she was.
On a different note, your art is good. I was really impressed with the backgrounds (I'm really bad at drawing them myself).

[Nady]

That's a really short VN you have here. I think the art was nice: sprites looked good (I must say that the coloring was a bit bland though) but the lack of hands really made me laugh. I'm 100% sure you avoided to draw them on purpose. That was a bit... yeah, disturbing. I don't have a lot to say about the plot because, well, there's pretty much no plot. The story felt too short and the end came in way too early. The bad endings were nicely done (The chibis CG were good) but there wasn't a lot of point doing them. This wasn't a bad VN but I can't say it was good either. Too short and no story don't really give me an idea of what you wanted to do in the end. Read it in French by the way. I should add that the punctuation was not used correctly (you forgot some real important spaces, English and French don't work the same way yeah) and there were a lot of random mistakes.

[Didules]

Are there endings when you end up with only one of them...?

Unfortunately, there aren't, I wanted to make it really short so I didn't have the time to work on the "tree-choices" (don't know how you work but I do a tree to see where the choices will lead). Sorry ^^

there were maybe two lines that weren't translated (they were still in French

Ack!!! Again? I had several problems with the translation, I'll update the link once I correct and check everything then, thank you for telling me! (Found them, gonna correct and so on and so on ^^;)

Thank you for playing it ^^

That's a really short VN you have here. I think the art was nice: sprites looked good (I must say that the coloring was a bit bland though) but the lack of hands really made me laugh. I'm 100% sure you avoided to draw them on purpose.

Aha, I'm sorry, I have to admit that the sprites were done...quite some time ago (around the beginning of march) and I still didn't have a graphic tablet so coloring was still the most boring thing to do, and since I wanted everything to be done quickly, I avoided the hardest part by hiding the hands ^^"

Too short and no story don't really give me an idea of what you wanted to do in the end.

Hmm, I've written in at the beginning of the post: I wanted to learn a bit more about Ren'py ^^; I have to say that this isn't really the kind of game I'd usually play/do since it fits in lots of categories I don't like playing (Slife, try and die, ...), so in the end, just think of it as a test or something like that? It didn't have a philosophical aim, just a little game to pass time!

Read it in French by the way. I should add that the punctuation was not used correctly (you forgot some real important spaces, English and French don't work the same way yeah) and there were a lot of random mistakes.

Do you mean in French? That would be a bit strange since I am french (not the punctuation though because I often forget it) and we double-checked for every possible mistakes.

Thank you for your feedback


EDIT:currently replacing the old link, so it's broken. Should be up in 20 minutes Done, normally the translation hsould apply on every sentence this time!

[Nady]

so in the end, just think of it as a test or something like that?

Yeah that's how I saw it anyway. Sorry for not seeing that in your first post, I'll pay more attention next time.

Do you mean in French? That would be a bit strange since I am french (not the punctuation though because I often forget it) and we double-checked for every possible mistakes.

Yep, I saw some mistakes. I'm really picky on this. I'm French too after all

[Didules]

Yeah that's how I saw it anyway. Sorry for not seeing that in your first post, I'll pay more attention next time.

Nope, it's my fault, it was written in small since I thought it could be somehow...discouraging for people who wanted to play to see that it was some kind of short test/silly game ^^" Woops, I said it XD

Yep, I saw some mistakes. I'm really picky on this. I'm French too after all

Normally there shouldn't be grammar/conjugation mistakes (apart from the "ne" that often disappear since there are young and even though I hate it I thought it would sometimes be more...natural for them to skip it. But I do hate them for that. And I hated writing this....) That means I'll have to check it again, sp thank you for reporting (I usually am also very picky in French (Grammar Nazis are everywhere, in every language), but I can't "read" myself when it's too long)

[SusanTheCat]

-What is the first ending you got?
Paint Can

-What is your favorite ending?
The True Ending Of the other endings, the knife ending

-How did you find the translation/english version?
I had to switch to the French version. The English version was very confusing. (The scene when you first meet the lady in the DIY aisle)

The story was super cute and the characters were adorable!

Susan

[Googaboga]

D'aaw I loved this game :3. It was really cute and all the ending art was great.

Also I'm not sure if it's just me but the music seems to get so much louder when you go to the park than the music at home.

-What is the first ending you got?

I went to get ice cream and got hit by a car. I didn't even survive to the second choice X'D.

-What is your favorite ending?
The True Ending 8D

-How did you find the translation/english version? (if you can play the french version (if you have a good understanding of French!), I'd advise you to do so, both version have their own style since the translator had complete freedom to do her work )
I only played the English version and I thought it was good. There were mistakes but it wasn't that bad.

[minilys]

- The translation was fine for the most part. A couple lines were a little awkward

Could you mp Didules and I so we can correct the awkward lines, please? (I'm also French and I was bound to make mistakes but I would like to improve myself)
Thank you so much ^^

SusanTheCat: Another fan of the knife ending!
More seriously, you said the DIY part was confused in english? Can you mp me which sentences, and how to write them better?

Googaboga: We're happy you loved it! As Didules said it was just to learn how to use ren'py but we hoped you would find it fun. Can you do the same thing I asked sonorousgem to do? With both of your advice, maybe we will be able to do something... I don't know, acceptable...

I'm sorry if I take your time and thank you for your feedback!

[Googaboga]

Alright here are some things I noticed.

When you go get ice scream Sophie says "I think we miss eggs at home, maybe milk too.". I think it'd sound better if she said "we need eggs" instead of "we miss eggs".

Also in the ice cream option she says "I can't hear anything beside my heart.". I think it would be better is you added an "s" to beside so "I can't hear anything besides my heart".

If you go to the park and meet Gael Sophie says "We had hit it off last year but not to the point of having each other phone number.". It would be better if there was an "s" at the end of "other" and "phone". Having each others phone numbers.

If you choose to go home after talking with Gael he says "Don't bother, he doesn't have for so much time.". I'm not sure what he is trying to say so I can't offer a suggestion but maybe you can change it in some way so it is easy to understand.

The next day she says "if I let my mother re-fulling it, it will end with a proper telling off.". I think it would be better if she said "refill" instead of "re-fulling".

Okay I stopped there for now but those were some of the things I noticed when skimming through it again. I hope that helped a little :].