My first game - Legend of Kuchisake-onna

[Sen-sama]

I randomly got the idea one day and decided to see how far I could get in renpy. I spent the whole day scripting, editing, and a whole bunch of other stuff.

Its not the greatest vn, its missing a few recorded lines and its a little nubish, but I feel acomplished (If not crappy as well..)



http://www.mediafire.com/?3amb7uvoqbumb9u

[sonorousgem]

what's it about?

[Sen-sama]

pretty much, its a retelling of a japanese urban myth. pretty much there is this maked woman who prays on kids named kuchisake-onna. she usually asks the child if she is beautiful. if the child says yes, she will take off her mask and reveal cuts on the side of her lips that go from cheek to cheek. then she'll ask again. if you awnser yes, she will either kill you or give you cuts like hers. if you say no, she cuts your head off with her giant pair of scissors. the only way to rid of her is to either confuse her, tell her she's average, or take a certain peice of candy then toss it or hand it to her. but in the most common ones, she usually finds you and kills you regardless.

[sonorousgem]

mkay, I played part of it last night but couldn't get through it because it was late and I was not ready/prepared for any degree of horror XD (I can't deal with scary stuff, heheh:

that pic of Kuchisake-onna was totally unexpected

)
The voicing that I heard wasn't bad, but like you said, some things were voiced and some things awkwardly weren't. Also I can't really say anything because I didn't finish it, but it felt pretty rushed.

All of a sudden people are dying.... what?!

It must have taken a lot of dedication to finish this in one day...

[Sen-sama]

mkay, I played part of it last night but couldn't get through it because it was late and I was not ready/prepared for any degree of horror XD (I can't deal with scary stuff, heheh:

that pic of Kuchisake-onna was totally unexpected

)
The voicing that I heard wasn't bad, but like you said, some things were voiced and some things awkwardly weren't. Also I can't really say anything because I didn't finish it, but it felt pretty rushed.

All of a sudden people are dying.... what?!

It must have taken a lot of dedication to finish this in one day...

Yeah, and theres a good explaination for that. the main reason is because im stuck with using someone elses computer(When im not using their computer, Im using my wii to get online.) because mine isn't really working and the person who let me see it doesn't really like me on it. so i was rushing, just seeing what i could accomplish and such. had a few friends who were va, had them rush the lines. (Told them the quality didn't matter.) screwed up a bit, but i feel like I got a good grip of the program and such.




(and fyi, probably a good thing that you didnt. gets a bit more scarier towards the end xD)

[Jengo]

Looks like you're getting it. Some misspellings, some bad grammar (no capitalization for names an what-not), and "this is a paticular story" (maybe it was supposed to be "particular," but that wouldn't make sense, either) from when the story starts. Not trying to sound mean, and I don't mean to be too critical. Looks like you've got the hang of using it, it's just the writing and being half-voiced that takes away from it.
Please don't hate me for criticizing! D: