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Re: Christmas Rose [Kinetic Novel]
That was a really sweet KN! I loved the artwork! The ending was really cute. Keep it up!
- Haze
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Re: Christmas Rose [Kinetic Novel]
The art was quite nice(I kinda know one of the artists, actually), and the writing was pretty good too.
I'm a little confused by the ending, though. Are the temperatures at an all-time-high because Summer's so happy?
Also, I loved the ending line. "Summer, you're such a tsundere!"
My first completed visual novel, which is at 1.3, it's final version(woo hoo!): Monster Uses CPU 2
Finally at version 1.0: White Fog
I make one song every week, all for free download! This weeks song: Synthis- The Mirror(Eliana Remix)[Preview]
You might ask yourself: If I could only save one paragraph of the work I'm writing, which one would I save?
Which one would I let go first?
-from Understanding Rhetoric: A Graphic Guide to Writing by Elizabeth Losh, Johnathan Alexander, Kevin Cannon, and Zander Cannon
Finally at version 1.0: White Fog
I make one song every week, all for free download! This weeks song: Synthis- The Mirror(Eliana Remix)[Preview]
You might ask yourself: If I could only save one paragraph of the work I'm writing, which one would I save?
Which one would I let go first?
-from Understanding Rhetoric: A Graphic Guide to Writing by Elizabeth Losh, Johnathan Alexander, Kevin Cannon, and Zander Cannon
Re: Christmas Rose [Kinetic Novel]
Giving it a play now.
- Fenrir34
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Re: Christmas Rose [Kinetic Novel]
The plot of this story is really original. Going to download it now
- DarkClaymore
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Re: Christmas Rose [Kinetic Novel]
A pretty original idea, and a cute one at that. I mainly found it amusing that you thought of having seasons converse through a computer. Not sure how legit it is, considering the cliche "nature vs technology" thing that we see now and then, but who cares if it's fun to read, right?
While awfully trivial, I actually laughed a bit at Mother Nature being... well, a mother. I know that it's rather straightforward (it's in the very name after all), but I found that funny regardless.
General question, in case you thought about the setting beyond what was told in the story itself: Can seasons actually meet in person? I'd assume Summer and Winter can't meet, and it's logical because they are on the opposite ends of the cycle. But what about Summer meeting Spring/Autumn? Is that possible? Just random curiosity here
Some criticism:
While awfully trivial, I actually laughed a bit at Mother Nature being... well, a mother. I know that it's rather straightforward (it's in the very name after all), but I found that funny regardless.
General question, in case you thought about the setting beyond what was told in the story itself: Can seasons actually meet in person? I'd assume Summer and Winter can't meet, and it's logical because they are on the opposite ends of the cycle. But what about Summer meeting Spring/Autumn? Is that possible? Just random curiosity here
Some criticism:
- No offense, but the intro felt a bit of a... mess. I had hard time following what was going there. It felt as if the narrative was jumping between third-person and first-person, or rather a third-person pretending to be first person... if that even makes sense. It didn't take long for it to transform into a normal third-person though, and the rest was really good.
- It was a bit off, at least for me, that the title menu and the preferences menu aren't aligned. The menus are designed the same way, but their horizontal location differs. Switching between the menus generates a sense of "jumping", that felt like a dissonance. Just a small note out there, because I personally see "dissonance" as that one thing that anybody can fall prey for, both amateurs and pros, and at the same time it's a thing that equally anybody can fight off and defeat.
- While I understand the love for Japanese material all too well (let's admit it, most of us are here because of it ), stuffing Japanese speech and terms randomly into a story that doesn't actually have a Japanese setting was very off for me. None of the characters is Japanese, and the story isn't set in Japan. In fact, considering the theme of "seasons", I really wanted it to feel "global", because the change of seasons is a thing shared between everybody. These little references really felt out of place to me. There were only two parts like that as far as I caught: Mother saying "Spring-chan", and the end with "Tsundere". The latter was funny though, so hard to complain
- ppppantsu
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Re: Christmas Rose [Kinetic Novel]
I am DLing this now. The art really caught my eyes. * w * <3
I'll edit my post once I'm done with it.
I'll edit my post once I'm done with it.
Re: Christmas Rose [Kinetic Novel]
Graphics 10/10, Story 7/10
The intro was jumping between third-person and first-person, or rather a third-person pretending to be first person. I don't think that matters, the creator has put alot of effort into this game.
The intro was jumping between third-person and first-person, or rather a third-person pretending to be first person. I don't think that matters, the creator has put alot of effort into this game.
- Lesleigh63
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Re: Christmas Rose [Kinetic Novel]
This was nice to play. I liked the personification of the seasons and how the artwork captured the essence/details of summer and winter. I wasn't a fan of the large text box being over the character (I felt I couldn't see the character very well and wondered if I was missing any change in expression etc) - I probably would have preferred the character not to be there at those times with the large box just covering the background (but no-one else seems to mind - so possibly just my preference).
Lovely work, hope to see more from you.
Lovely work, hope to see more from you.
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