TrickWithAKnife wrote: (why are they always American?)
Because we stole the "Best Friend Nation" title with the Japanese from the Dutch when Admiral Perry bullied his way into Tokyo Harbor. We had that rocky period in the relationship when they bombed us and we nuked them, but you know, every friendship has its rough patches. So now they get to mangle English and we get to mangle Japanese. (In a more serious note, it's totally because Americans are often the first English contact with a Japanese product, so American English it is!)
The Returner (awesome movie) had some horrible English in it as well. They have a very nice scene where the future girl is running to get to the time machine the joint U.S. and Japanese survivors of the alien invasion are guarding together, and, well . . . I think those "American" soldiers may have been alien imposters, because they spoke the most stilted English I've ever heard. (Well, until you posted that link - I can't even understand a WORD of that "English". Mush-mouth, much?)
One of my favorite stories is one Peter (who runs J-List) told years ago about not being able to convey his order thru the drive-thru at a KFC in Japan - the girl on the other end couldn't understand him, and he couldn't understand her. Long story short, he was American and she was Chinese, and their thick accented Japanese was insufficient for communication. If I remember correctly, I believe it turned out she spoke better English than Japanese, and that is how they finally communicated.