Journey Against Ouva [Mystery][Adventure] (discontinued)

[champignonkinoko]

The Story

Journey Against Ouva is centered around Iris, an intern at the Global Disease Control Center (GDCC) who wakes up with fuzzy memories of herself and her surroundings.

She feels a strong sense of purpose to join a medical response mission, but has no idea why. To top it off, mysterious sabotage cases have been happening in GDCC, causing unrest within the organisation. One of her team members is suspected to be the saboteur, and she has the option to investigate this matter.

Edit: This project has been discontinued due to other commitments.

[Lesleigh63]

For starters, I like the look of your artwork.
The plot - I'm not sure if she'll be in some third world country fighting an epidemic while trying to find love or if she's at university trying to figure out if she should go over to a third world country while having an interest in finding love which could complicate things if she's planning on leaving. It's stat raising which I'm not fond of, but because of the art I'd probably give it a look - whether I kept playing would depend on how well it's written.
Which personality - well for me it's how the character looks and what the art actually portrays about the character - I like Raphael's look - kinda sceptical and a little aloof and Aki's look - nerdi spectacled look looking like he doesn't suffer idiots.
What I want in a visual novel, Nice looking art (not particularly in any given style) and a good story that keeps me wanting to know what happens next and probably has me playing longer than I should and not doing the washing or something.

[VocaloidsRCool]

The plot is very interesting. It would be cool if the heroine ends up helping to stop the epidemic and becomes a hero of a sort. And if she finds love, that would be great too.

Raphael is my favorite because he seems to be a tsundere. It seems he does care about other people even if he acts like he doesn't. And I think it's cute that he likes animals. Aki is my least favorite character as he seems to look down on anyone who isn't very smart or has other qualities that he does not like. I think it is ironic that he is an environmentalist, as well as a germaphobe; being afraid of germs might be the main reason that he protects the environment: he doesn't want to live in filthy world.

I like a visual novel where the heroine finds love and does something meaningful like helping one or more people. I also like it when the heroine is a bit dense, but it is not required. I just don't like heroines who are too hardcore. But, that's just me. When the suitors fight over the girl, I find that very entertaining. And I suppose I also like it when the heroine gets kidnapped and saved by the guy that she likes. Um, I guess that's it. Or all I can think of right now. I would ask for cgs of the heroine and her suitor kissing or holding hands, but that seems like too much trouble. Too many vn's are being put on hold, or dragged out due to difficulties with the art. I understand how hard making a visual novel is though. I may not have any on here, but that doesn't mean I haven't tried making any. But, I've said more than enough. Those are my opinions and thoughts. Bye now. ^^;

[champignonkinoko]

For starters, I like the look of your artwork.
The plot - I'm not sure if she'll be in some third world country fighting an epidemic while trying to find love or if she's at university trying to figure out if she should go over to a third world country while having an interest in finding love which could complicate things if she's planning on leaving. It's stat raising which I'm not fond of, but because of the art I'd probably give it a look - whether I kept playing would depend on how well it's written.
Which personality - well for me it's how the character looks and what the art actually portrays about the character - I like Raphael's look - kinda sceptical and a little aloof and Aki's look - nerdi spectacled look looking like he doesn't suffer idiots.
What I want in a visual novel, Nice looking art (not particularly in any given style) and a good story that keeps me wanting to know what happens next and probably has me playing longer than I should and not doing the washing or something.

[artwork & char]: Thank you very much!! . Yep Aki doesn't suffer idiots, and Raphael's love is only for science (and animals).
[unsure of plot]: I think you're making a good point there. She will leave the country, but she will always have the option to return. I might need to rewrite the summary after I flesh out the main story more...
[stat raising]: I'm not very sure if I used the right term here... It's not like you can increase 'intelligence' or 'social' or anything like that; the stat here refers to results from short in-game (timed) quizzes. This will not be the focus of the game - more like a side dish.
[what you look for in VN]: Not doing washing? That kinda sounds like me! I'll be doing my best to get facts and be inspired by real-life stories, thank you for your feedback!

The plot is very interesting. It would be cool if the heroine ends up helping to stop the epidemic and becomes a hero of a sort. And if she finds love, that would be great too.

Raphael is my favorite because he seems to be a tsundere. It seems he does care about other people even if he acts like he doesn't. And I think it's cute that he likes animals. Aki is my least favorite character as he seems to look down on anyone who isn't very smart or has other qualities that he does not like. I think it is ironic that he is an environmentalist, as well as a germaphobe; being afraid of germs might be the main reason that he protects the environment: he doesn't want to live in filthy world.

I like a visual novel where the heroine finds love and does something meaningful like helping one or more people. I also like it when the heroine is a bit dense, but it is not required. I just don't like heroines who are too hardcore. But, that's just me. When the suitors fight over the girl, I find that very entertaining. And I suppose I also like it when the heroine gets kidnapped and saved by the guy that she likes. Um, I guess that's it. Or all I can think of right now. I would ask for cgs of the heroine and her suitor kissing or holding hands, but that seems like too much trouble. Too many vn's are being put on hold, or dragged out due to difficulties with the art. I understand how hard making a visual novel is though. I may not have any on here, but that doesn't mean I haven't tried making any. But, I've said more than enough. Those are my opinions and thoughts. Bye now. ^^;

[what you look for in VN]: Yes, I do want a heroine who's doing something other than just being in love When the heroine is dense, there can be so many humorous scenes! What sort of heroines do you think are too hardcore? I'll be putting more weight on the plot at this stage, but I will definitely have some romantic scenes
[fave char]: I love tsunderes too, but more kuudere than tsundere. I'll be careful not too give Ralph too many lines...
[more CG]: As I'm writing, I notice that I'm putting too many CGs in it (as in, expectations for future artwork). But yeah, like you said, I may need to cut down on them. It would be a shame though; more CGs usually make the VN more engaging. Thank you for your feedback!

[Khalliope]

Oh~ Sounds like a good game! I really like the art!

1. Does the plot interest you?
I think the plot sounds pretty interesting, but I would be careful to try to not overcomplicate it. It seems the main focus of the story is the heroine leaves college to go to the front lines in order to help her father, with love like a bonus to the story. Keep it like that. Visual novels, even longer ones, keep a pretty simple story with a clear goal at the end of it to keep people engaged. With storylines like this, its easy to make things more complicated than necessary. For example, if love is a bonus to the story, obviously don't make it a huge factor. Otherwise, the heroine would be busy trying to save her father on the front lines in the face of a deadly pandemic, and at the same time go on a journey for her love life - don't mash two storylines into one visual novel. Don't get me wrong though, the plot sounds great as it is and it definitely interests me enough for me to play it. I hope you understood what I was trying to say, I don't really know how to explain it ;;;

2. Which personality is your favourite and which ones less so? Why?
Definitely Raphael. Call me cliched, but I'm a sucker for tsunderes, especially ones with sweet soft spots like animals or sweets. As for the others - Thiago sounds like the optimist, Stanislav sounds like the leader, and Aki sounds like a smart mouth. I honestly don't really have an issue with any of the other personalities - I think they are all great. Actually, I would go for Aki second because I find smart-mouthed insults hilarious. However, maybe try to give them some good quirks or weaknesses so they don't fall into the stereotypes.

3. What do you look for in a visual novel?
I feel a bit hypocritical for saying this, but I'll fall for any visual novel with amazing art. Even ones with not very well thought out storylines like Starry Sky. Well thought out storyline or characterization ties at second place though. Like I said previously, one route for a visual novel is worth a few minutes to a few hours long, so a simple but strong storyline is a must. As for characterization, I don't actually mind characters with stereotypes, like tsunderes or kuuderes for example, as long as they have realistic human flaws and weaknesses.

[Solry]

Wow this project sounds cool! I really love the idea >w<
So, to answer your questions:

1. Does the plot interest you?
Yes of course! I like visual novel games that do not focus too much on romance, the story seems promising too!
2. Which personality is your favourite and which ones less so? Why?
I like Raphael's design. The color choices for his clothes and hair and eyes are just perfect! >w< But i like Stanislav more because of his quote. Seems like my type xD
3. What do you look for in a visual novel?
I'm quite easy going to begin with. The only thing i don't like in a visual novel is the limitation of choices for player. Like, we have to read non-stop and only have very few chances to take action. So i hope this game will give us more than that >w<

I hope this'll help

[champignonkinoko]

@Solry:

1. Does the plot interest you?
That's great to hear. Same for me
2. Which personality is your favourite and which ones less so? Why?
Macho men?
3. What do you look for in a visual novel?
I'll take note of this: giving player more choices

@Khalliope:

1. Does the plot interest you?
Thanks for the tip: not overcomplicating. I'll remove unnecessary elements NOW!! The plot takes precedence.

2. Which personality is your favourite and which ones less so? Why?
Nice, the way you described the characters is very close to how I see them. Quirks & weaknesses, I have a few already; I thought it's more fun to be discovered than appearing in the char profile, but that may change?

3. What do you look for in a visual novel?
I don't think that's hypocritical. I'll be rooting for both art and story myself. I think you made your point clear on characters and story

Thanks for the feedback from you both!

[VocaloidsRCool]

For starters, I like the look of your artwork.
The plot - I'm not sure if she'll be in some third world country fighting an epidemic while trying to find love or if she's at university trying to figure out if she should go over to a third world country while having an interest in finding love which could complicate things if she's planning on leaving. It's stat raising which I'm not fond of, but because of the art I'd probably give it a look - whether I kept playing would depend on how well it's written.
Which personality - well for me it's how the character looks and what the art actually portrays about the character - I like Raphael's look - kinda sceptical and a little aloof and Aki's look - nerdi spectacled look looking like he doesn't suffer idiots.
What I want in a visual novel, Nice looking art (not particularly in any given style) and a good story that keeps me wanting to know what happens next and probably has me playing longer than I should and not doing the washing or something.

[artwork & char]: Thank you very much!! . Yep Aki doesn't suffer idiots, and Raphael's love is only for science (and animals).
[unsure of plot]: I think you're making a good point there. She will leave the country, but she will always have the option to return. I might need to rewrite the summary after I flesh out the main story more...
[stat raising]: I'm not very sure if I used the right term here... It's not like you can increase 'intelligence' or 'social' or anything like that; the stat here refers to results from short in-game (timed) quizzes. This will not be the focus of the game - more like a side dish.
[what you look for in VN]: Not doing washing? That kinda sounds like me! I'll be doing my best to get facts and be inspired by real-life stories, thank you for your feedback!

The plot is very interesting. It would be cool if the heroine ends up helping to stop the epidemic and becomes a hero of a sort. And if she finds love, that would be great too.

Raphael is my favorite because he seems to be a tsundere. It seems he does care about other people even if he acts like he doesn't. And I think it's cute that he likes animals. Aki is my least favorite character as he seems to look down on anyone who isn't very smart or has other qualities that he does not like. I think it is ironic that he is an environmentalist, as well as a germaphobe; being afraid of germs might be the main reason that he protects the environment: he doesn't want to live in filthy world.

I like a visual novel where the heroine finds love and does something meaningful like helping one or more people. I also like it when the heroine is a bit dense, but it is not required. I just don't like heroines who are too hardcore. But, that's just me. When the suitors fight over the girl, I find that very entertaining. And I suppose I also like it when the heroine gets kidnapped and saved by the guy that she likes. Um, I guess that's it. Or all I can think of right now. I would ask for cgs of the heroine and her suitor kissing or holding hands, but that seems like too much trouble. Too many vn's are being put on hold, or dragged out due to difficulties with the art. I understand how hard making a visual novel is though. I may not have any on here, but that doesn't mean I haven't tried making any. But, I've said more than enough. Those are my opinions and thoughts. Bye now. ^^;

[what you look for in VN]: Yes, I do want a heroine who's doing something other than just being in love When the heroine is dense, there can be so many humorous scenes! What sort of heroines do you think are too hardcore? I'll be putting more weight on the plot at this stage, but I will definitely have some romantic scenes
[fave char]: I love tsunderes too, but more kuudere than tsundere. I'll be careful not too give Ralph too many lines...
[more CG]: As I'm writing, I notice that I'm putting too many CGs in it (as in, expectations for future artwork). But yeah, like you said, I may need to cut down on them. It would be a shame though; more CGs usually make the VN more engaging. Thank you for your feedback!

I hope the heroine can do something cool. Something brave and heroic. I wonder, will the heroine be an airhead? That would be interesting; I'd like to see how someone like that interacts with the other characters. I think a heroine who curses, hits people when they get mad, makes scary faces when someone makes them angry, snaps at people and has a rude personality is too hardcore. I like a sweet girl who tries to be nice, and who likes helping people. She can be earnest, but never mean. Romance is what I live for! I read shoujo mangas all the time. I can't wait to see what Ralph is like! Yes, CG's are nice, they are like pictures in a book, but in a visual novel, they are even more important, since it's a visual novel and therefore the art is as important as the story, whereas, you don't necessarily need pictures to enjoy a book. But if cutting down on them means getting the game out quicker, then I guess it's a worthwhile sacrifice.

[verysunshine]

Apparently my computer ate my previous attempt at writing this. Looks like it's bullet point time!

Plot things:
-seems interesting
-I like the concept of her father being away and in assumed danger. It gives me Cold War vibes.
-I hope the goals of the significant other and the parental issues aren't contradictory (See the description of "Natalie" to see an example where I thought the goals clashed, at least in the description.)
-If everyone needs paperwork to travel between countries, how does "always having the option to return" work? Governments will not be quick at processing these things. I'm assuming it'll take a full medical checkup for each border crossing, at the least.

Character things:
-Can I please see a paragraph of surface characteristics? The few words don't give me much basis for judging personality. If that doesn't make sense, let me know and I'll give you an example.
-Iris seems a bit too cruel and self-centered with the current description. This is probably because I don't know enough about the character yet.
-I assume Iris is a medical student, based on the other characters' professions.
-Thiao seems optimistic
-Raphael feels rather cold in his quote compared to all his other facts. Probably a lack of context.
- Stanislav's enjoyment of hunting and challenge seem to go well together
-If he's a pilot because you think piloting a plane is difficult, I've heard it's far less complex than it sounds. You may want to ask a pilot about it.
-Aki seems the most intriguing to me. He is afraid of germs, and he studies germs. Interesting...
-What's going on with Iris's mom in the game time?

What I like to see:
-A greater explanation of the quiz mechanic. What's the point? Why do you want to put it in?
-Well-developed characters
-Research. Lots of it, for games like yours. You might try to get perspectives instead of just relying on facts.
-Choices that make me think (incomparable choices)
-A feeling of agency, to a degree
-Good pacing
-Interesting storilines

That's about all I can think of. Good luck with your game!

[champignonkinoko]

Thanks for your feedback @VocaloidsRCool @verysunshine! I can tell you both put a lot of thought into it!!! Very valuable stuff.
I should also add that the character descriptions below are my current impressions. I'm still developing them and will do so until I finish my storywriting!

@VocaloidsRCool
The impressions I have of her so far: she's not exactly an airhead. She's somewhat cautious and alert (although not as alert as most of the team). She's a smart kid but more naive than the rest. I didn't put the age up yet because I thought I'd give myself some freedom on this for now, but she's the youngest. Probably obvious because she's still a student after all.

I really don't want to cut down on the CG if I can. I might hire artists for help at a later stage But now I'm focusing on the story.

@verysunshine
Sorry about your computer... Maybe it's time for a new one? Your questions are very thought-provoking, and I should update my first post to reflect the info here later on...

Plot things:
- I lost you at "Natalie", did you want to tag a post here but I missed it somehow?
- Everyone needs paperwork but not flights that carry trade goods and products. The option to return really just means she has the option to attempt... She might not be able to But you raised very good points, red tape and medical checkup. I like them!

Character things:
-Aki the germaphobe virologist.
I know someone from the science industry who is half a germaphobe. He makes sure he never touches them (without a glove or washing his hands ten times after touching). His argument is that because he knows what these little things can do, that's why he shies away from them (when not in lab). So he says
-Iris the money-minded student.
I'm tempted to make her background mathematical/ecological so she can help explain some of the happenings throughout the story, but that's not set yet. Her love for money is more of a playful kind, not the kind where she'd betray for money. She's still young and somewhat naive. The journey will give her a chance explore her own values and how her values fit in their world. About her quote? She is young and naive at the start of the game, and a little stubborn...
-Thiago the friendly guy.
He's a friendly guy. His core driver in life is security, which suggests a more pessimistic personality; he tries to be a peacemaker sometimes. He's a little cunning, too.
-Raphael the curious animal-lover.
He has a cold personality. He loves animals more than humans, so he's cold to humans and warm to animals.
- Stanislav the brave pilot.
Maybe you are right about the difficulty of piloting? The only thing I've heard from my friends is there are heaps of graduates but very few vacancies.
About Stanislav, he used to be a pilot for the army and he loved doing amazing stunts. However, he thought he'd had enough so he tried other things...
Iris's mom
Her mom has passed away. This part of the story will be fleshed out more later

What I like to see:
- Quizzes will be a chance to see how much you already know about diseases in general. I thought it might be a good alternative of telling cold, hard, facts because these quizzes will have guessable answers.
-Thanks for the suggestion! I'm reading a great non-fiction right now that has both perspectives and facts, but I will definitely read more!
-Choices that make you think <--- Good one. I will think this through. By the way some of the choices will give you an option to have a look at subplots, in other words, romance plots that have little impact on the plot itself.
-Good pacing <--- This is a new term I just learnt recently, I'll study it.

I hope I explained my ideas well. Let me know if something doesn't make sense! I'll gladly explore it further!
Thank you guys again!

[verysunshine]

@verysunshine
Sorry about your computer... Maybe it's time for a new one? Your questions are very thought-provoking, and I should update my first post to reflect the info here later on...

Plot things:
- I lost you at "Natalie", did you want to tag a post here but I missed it somehow?

Ooops. Natalie is not a real thing. Nicole is a visual novel developed by Winter Wolves. Here's the description in question.

[quote = Winter Wolves]Nicole is thrilled that she managed to get into her first choice school and is looking forward to experiencing college life there. However, as soon as she moves into the university dorms, she finds out that there’s been a series of mysterious disappearances going on around the campus! So far, three girls have already gone missing and Nicole could be next if she’s not too careful – not quite the ideal college experience Nicole had in mind.
Nicole is a dating sim that revolves around your day-to-day life as a college student. You can take up part-time jobs to earn money, explore various locations, do recreational and extra-curricular activities, and meet intriguing characters like Darren, Kurt, Jeff and Ted. You might even get to date the culprit![/quote]

Sorry about the confusion!

- Everyone needs paperwork but not flights that carry trade goods and products. The option to return really just means she has the option to attempt... She might not be able to But you raised very good points, red tape and medical checkup. I like them!

Thanks for the clarity.

Character things:
-Aki the germaphobe virologist.
I know someone from the science industry who is half a germaphobe. He makes sure he never touches them (without a glove or washing his hands ten times after touching). His argument is that because he knows what these little things can do, that's why he shies away from them (when not in lab). So he says
-Iris the money-minded student.
I'm tempted to make her background mathematical/ecological so she can help explain some of the happenings throughout the story, but that's not set yet. Her love for money is more of a playful kind, not the kind where she'd betray for money. She's still young and somewhat naive. The journey will give her a chance explore her own values and how her values fit in their world. About her quote? She is young and naive at the start of the game, and a little stubborn...[\quote]
Both of these things make sense now.

-Thiago the friendly guy.
He's a friendly guy. His core driver in life is security, which suggests a more pessimistic personality; he tries to be a peacemaker sometimes. He's a little cunning, too.
-Raphael the curious animal-lover.
He has a cold personality. He loves animals more than humans, so he's cold to humans and warm to animals.
- Stanislav the brave pilot.
Maybe you are right about the difficulty of piloting? The only thing I've heard from my friends is there are heaps of graduates but very few vacancies.
About Stanislav, he used to be a pilot for the army and he loved doing amazing stunts. However, he thought he'd had enough so he tried other things...

A military pilot? I am interested now!

Iris's mom
Her mom has passed away. This part of the story will be fleshed out more later

Ok, I was just checking.

What I like to see:
- Quizzes will be a chance to see how much you already know about diseases in general. I thought it might be a good alternative of telling cold, hard, facts because these quizzes will have guessable answers.
-Thanks for the suggestion! I'm reading a great non-fiction right now that has both perspectives and facts, but I will definitely read more!
-Choices that make you think <--- Good one. I will think this through. By the way some of the choices will give you an option to have a look at subplots, in other words, romance plots that have little impact on the plot itself.
-Good pacing <--- This is a new term I just learnt recently, I'll study it.[\quote]
Here's a video that explains what I find the most important points in pacing for games. It's not visual novel specific, but it's good.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LScL4CWe5E[/youtube]

I hope I explained my ideas well. Let me know if something doesn't make sense! I'll gladly explore it further!
Thank you guys again!

Thanks for responding!

[champignonkinoko]

Ooops. Natalie is not a real thing. Nicole is a visual novel developed by Winter Wolves. Here's the description in question.

Nicole is thrilled that she managed to get into her first choice school and is looking forward to experiencing college life there. However, as soon as she moves into the university dorms, she finds out that there’s been a series of mysterious disappearances going on around the campus! So far, three girls have already gone missing and Nicole could be next if she’s not too careful – not quite the ideal college experience Nicole had in mind.
Nicole is a dating sim that revolves around your day-to-day life as a college student. You can take up part-time jobs to earn money, explore various locations, do recreational and extra-curricular activities, and meet intriguing characters like Darren, Kurt, Jeff and Ted. You might even get to date the culprit!

Just to clarify, do you mean Nicole has her priorities mixed up here? Because she is taking the risk of dating the culprit?

Here's a video that explains what I find the most important points in pacing for games. It's not visual novel specific, but it's good.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LScL4CWe5E[/youtube]

I love this video!!! BEST VIDEO EVER

[champignonkinoko]

Status update 04/11/2014:

Background Art for the first couple of scenes!

GDCC Reception:


Will be working on character design for the two other main female characters now (and weaving the story in between!!)

[akemicchi]

This is really cool. *_*

1. Does the plot interest you? (or if not, why?)
It interests me a lot. I want to know more about the world and the mystery, and the characters are really interesting. I really like the setting, too. It's different.

One question that I have though is why the main character has been tasked with finding the saboteur. Is she new to the team? Is that why she's been tasked to look for them? Or will this be explained in the game so I should just wait? :'D

2. Which personality is your favourite and which ones less so? Why?
Based on what I've read, I really like them all. They all have their own values and driving forces, and I really like seeing that in characters. I just hope their depth shows up in the game! :)

3. What do you look for in a visual novel?
Compelling plot, complex and relatable characters, and-- this is just me, but I like to laugh when I'm playing visual novels. :'D Other things that are important to me are storylines with few plotholes / sound logic and reasoning, reasonable consequences, choices that have weight, and a plot that's deeper than you are initially led to believe (but not so complex that it doesn't make sense or no one cares anymore).

Good luck with your game! I'll definitely play it when it comes out. Will you be releasing a demo? :)

[champignonkinoko]

1. Does the plot interest you? (or if not, why?)
It interests me a lot. I want to know more about the world and the mystery, and the characters are really interesting. I really like the setting, too. It's different.
One question that I have though is why the main character has been tasked with finding the saboteur. Is she new to the team? Is that why she's been tasked to look for them? Or will this be explained in the game so I should just wait? :'D

LoL I'm afraid I'm going to spoil it, but it will be explained when the demo is out!

2. Which personality is your favourite and which ones less so? Why?
Based on what I've read, I really like them all. They all have their own values and driving forces, and I really like seeing that in characters. I just hope their depth shows up in the game!

Yes, thank you! So far Raphael has won the popularity contest, so it's reassuring to know my other characters are still alive Portraying depth is something I'm still learning and will be aware of...

3. What do you look for in a visual novel?
Compelling plot, complex and relatable characters, and-- this is just me, but I like to laugh when I'm playing visual novels. :'D Other things that are important to me are storylines with few plotholes / sound logic and reasoning, reasonable consequences, choices that have weight, and a plot that's deeper than you are initially led to believe (but not so complex that it doesn't make sense or no one cares anymore).

Oh, a good point. Deep plot but not too complex. I recently watched a show that definitely falls into the "too complex" category. I understand how people won't care if it gets too complex, and I'll be careful!

Good luck with your game! I'll definitely play it when it comes out. Will you be releasing a demo?

Thank you!!!! Happy to hear someone is looking forward to it. I'll definitely be releasing a demo, and would love to have beta testers before actually releasing it to the public though! If you're interested let me know, I'd be more than happy to have your help!!