Catching the Sun {GxG}{Slice of Life}{Drama}Update-April 4

[pocoscon]

Premise-Catching the Sun follows the story of Chris, Jade, and Kelda, three girls who each have their own wants and dreams for the future. Chris, our protagonist, has always struggled with her weight and being bullied, but has managed to survive thanks to her best friend Kelda always being her support. Deep down though Chris understands that she can't use Kelda as some kind of shield to protect herself from the bullies. As she tries to keep her friendship in tact and keep herself from making the ultimate mistake, Chris will learn that even those she cares for are not as happy as they pretend to be.

Chris-Our protagonist. Since she was little, she's struggled with her weight and being bullied. Still, she has tried to keep a positive outlook on the world and keeps going on with her life. With her final year of high school, Chris is highly excited to finally break away from it. Chris is somewhat of a lazy girl, yet is kind to those who are close to her. However, due to her being a bit of an eccentric, many have labeled her as strange.




Kelda- Chris's best friend. Unlike Chris, Kelda is highly active in sports and is outgoing with everyone she comes across. Due to her being so friendly, she is quite popular in school. Kelda is also always willing to try something new in life and is constantly on the go. However, he impatient attitude and sarcastic nature can easily get her in trouble. In Chris's eyes, Kelda is perfect. However, Kelda herself has many secrets and isn't as happy as she may seem.


Jade-An outcast who is often referred to as a 'ghost' because of her pale looks. Unlike Kelda and Chris, Jade has little desire to get to know people. She'd much rather stay in her own world and do her own things. Not feeling like she fits in anywhere, Jade can often be found on the roof or in the library. She can also come off as a bit rude and isn't above telling people off. Still, she does have a romantic side and a love for animals. She's the reason why Chris's friendship with Kelda comes into question.

Features
~Two Obtainable Girls(?)~
~Dynamic Story~
~Multiple Endings~

Updates
03/12/15-Found character artist mylovelydevil http://mylovelydevil.deviantart.com/ =)(Thank you!).
03/26/15- Jade's and Kelda's sprites is done
04/4/15-Sakura's sprite added. Prologue is nearly done for demo. (Yay!)

Progress

Writing-10%
Planning-10%
Backgrounds-100%
Character Art-80%
CG's-0%
Gui-0%
Music-0%


Questions

Does the premise seem interesting?
What do you think of the art?
Do you like the characters?
Any tips?

[Noire]

Looks interesting, I really like the drawing style

[astrokeofmadness]

Premise- interesting, although could use more info- how will preventing the tragedy also cause her to learn things she shouldn't know?(Yeah I know you wrote it more like a hook then a outline, but still!)
Art- good, clean- would like a picture of Chris what with her being the main character and all.(Also you can't tell which side of the spectrum the weight struggle is without a picture- remember there is also a subset of people who have underweight problems and people who think they need to lose weight when they are completely healthy)

Estimated game length?
Might be a strange question, but can you include an ending that doesn't involve "obtaining" either girl?(that isn't just a Bad end scenario style) From the premise you didn't mention anything really about love, so it kinda might be interesting to explore a scenario where love doesn't bloom, but perhaps friendship just tightens.

Anyways, nice to see the project here

[DarkSin]

This looks like it'll be very good. Any estimate on the finished game's length? Loving the simplicity of the colouring, it goes very well with the art style. Sometimes less is more. Especially if done right. And I'd also like to have an inkling of what the protagonist looks like Overall I find it very intriguing, the art is superb, and it looks like it'll be one those "deep dramas". Which is good

[pocoscon]

Looks interesting, I really like the drawing style

Thank you . Took me a bit to customize them, and might have to redo Kelda, but I do like how she looks.

[pocoscon]

Premise- interesting, although could use more info- how will preventing the tragedy also cause her to learn things she shouldn't know?(Yeah I know you wrote it more like a hook then a outline, but still!)
Art- good, clean- would like a picture of Chris what with her being the main character and all.(Also you can't tell which side of the spectrum the weight struggle is without a picture- remember there is also a subset of people who have underweight problems and people who think they need to lose weight when they are completely healthy)

Estimated game length?
Might be a strange question, but can you include an ending that doesn't involve "obtaining" either girl?(that isn't just a Bad end scenario style) From the premise you didn't mention anything really about love, so it kinda might be interesting to explore a scenario where love doesn't bloom, but perhaps friendship just tightens.

Anyways, nice to see the project here

Thank you so much for the feedback =). And sorry for the lack of description and all that. I'll add more info as soon as I can. And I didn't draw these, but customized the looks. The set I have doesn't have a big girl sprite, so Chris will either have no sprite or I might have to get some . And yes, you have a great point. I think I'll have a path with no romance. Fact, I think I'll make Kelda's route just friendship

[pocoscon]

This looks like it'll be very good. Any estimate on the finished game's length? Loving the simplicity of the colouring, it goes very well with the art style. Sometimes less is more. Especially if done right. And I'd also like to have an inkling of what the protagonist looks like Overall I find it very intriguing, the art is superb, and it looks like it'll be one those "deep dramas". Which is good

Thank you so much for the feedback =). I'm glad you like the art and the premise. The game is set to me medium. Not too long, but not short. Around 50,000 words is what I'm aiming for if I can do it. As for Chris's look, I'm likely gonna need someone to draw her since the set I have doesn't come with big girl type bodies

[Seigetsu]

Does the premise seem interesting?
I don't find it particularly exciting but not boring either. I guess there isn't a particular hook for me yet? There is too little information at this point to tell. Compared to the "realistic nightmare" plot device, I'm actually more interested in the "struggling with her weight" premise. There aren't a lot of games dealing with this issue, so I find that it can be very interesting to investigate the theme of body image, and how external support/pressure affects the individual's outlook.

What do you think of the art?
I like the art. It's clean and the style is consistent.

Do you like the characters?
They're nice, but just from the descriptions, I don't think there is any particular trait about either Jade or Kelda that would make them stand out. I don't think this is a problem. I like playing VNs with characters that fall into existing categories too (my favourite is the "tsundere") - I just don't know if that's what you're aiming for, because Kelda gives me the "popular optimistic girl" feel, while Jade the "quiet, shy, animal-lover" type.

Any tips?
Not in particular, since I haven't made a VN before. I suppose it's better to start simple and work your way upwards to complexity? Perhaps finish a route with limited number of CGs, then add routes and CGs if you have time? I much prefer a finished project than a grand project that's never released.

I do have more questions for you, actually, if you don't mind.
How many CGs are you planning for this project?
Do you have an estimated timeline as to when a demo (if there would be one) would be released?
Would this be a free or commercial project?

Anyways, I think this is a great start. I'm really excited to see more GxG games in progress. Good luck!

[Aratzne]

Does the premise seem interesting?
Yes! It sounds like a complex premise that could go many ways. There's lots of aspects you have here to deal with: The trauma/tragic accident, possibly something supernatural with Chris stopping the accident, Chris struggling with her own personal/physical identity, the friendships/relationships with the other girls, the other girls' own secrets... and so on. I think this is great, but it will take strong writing to pull it off well (while also making the characters realistic and relatable). I'm sure you have a grasp on what you want to do with the game - my advice is to pick the central theme/plot for the game and build from there. Make sure you're thinking about how to balance these plot threads as you're writing the routes.

What do you think of the art?
The sprites look really cute! They seem quite well done, and the character designs match the characters' personalities. I'm a fan of the sprites' simplicity as well; it draws attention to the characters' eyes (which look super bright and pretty).

Do you like the characters?
Yes, all three of them sound like they'll be fun to read about. It sounds to me like you're making the effort to make sure they're all realistic and different from one another, which should lead to a very interesting story!

Any tips?
Not really! The premise and art look appealing so far (and it's cool to see it as a GxG game). Like Seigetsu, I think it could be compelling to see more focus on Chris's struggles with her personal identity/weight issues (and of course whatever personal secrets you have in store with us for the other girls).

[Steamy Beard]

is there a threesome/harem ending ?
hush ! at least i can dream...

[pocoscon]

Does the premise seem interesting?
I don't find it particularly exciting but not boring either. I guess there isn't a particular hook for me yet? There is too little information at this point to tell. Compared to the "realistic nightmare" plot device, I'm actually more interested in the "struggling with her weight" premise. There aren't a lot of games dealing with this issue, so I find that it can be very interesting to investigate the theme of body image, and how external support/pressure affects the individual's outlook.

What do you think of the art?
I like the art. It's clean and the style is consistent.

Do you like the characters?
They're nice, but just from the descriptions, I don't think there is any particular trait about either Jade or Kelda that would make them stand out. I don't think this is a problem. I like playing VNs with characters that fall into existing categories too (my favourite is the "tsundere") - I just don't know if that's what you're aiming for, because Kelda gives me the "popular optimistic girl" feel, while Jade the "quiet, shy, animal-lover" type.

Any tips?
Not in particular, since I haven't made a VN before. I suppose it's better to start simple and work your way upwards to complexity? Perhaps finish a route with limited number of CGs, then add routes and CGs if you have time? I much prefer a finished project than a grand project that's never released.

I do have more questions for you, actually, if you don't mind.
How many CGs are you planning for this project?
Do you have an estimated timeline as to when a demo (if there would be one) would be released?
Would this be a free or commercial project?

Anyways, I think this is a great start. I'm really excited to see more GxG games in progress. Good luck!

Thank you for the feedback! I see what you mean by them being set into a certain category. But I'm glad you're also alright with that =). This game really is just for fun and a lot less dramatic then Black Lotus though it still has drama. In the actual game I'll do my best not to make the characters too boring or generic though.


As for your questions
Not too many Cg's will be in the game. It depends though. I want to get this out fast, by like Jun, so not too many.
And for a demo? If there is one I'd say it would be out during April =).
And yes, this will be free ^^.

Thank you for your encouraging words. I will do my best with this and Black Lotus =).


Ps-Going with the idea o focusing on Chris's weight is what I should go for. You're right. Thank you =)

[pocoscon]

Does the premise seem interesting?
Yes! It sounds like a complex premise that could go many ways. There's lots of aspects you have here to deal with: The trauma/tragic accident, possibly something supernatural with Chris stopping the accident, Chris struggling with her own personal/physical identity, the friendships/relationships with the other girls, the other girls' own secrets... and so on. I think this is great, but it will take strong writing to pull it off well (while also making the characters realistic and relatable). I'm sure you have a grasp on what you want to do with the game - my advice is to pick the central theme/plot for the game and build from there. Make sure you're thinking about how to balance these plot threads as you're writing the routes.

What do you think of the art?
The sprites look really cute! They seem quite well done, and the character designs match the characters' personalities. I'm a fan of the sprites' simplicity as well; it draws attention to the characters' eyes (which look super bright and pretty).

Do you like the characters?
Yes, all three of them sound like they'll be fun to read about. It sounds to me like you're making the effort to make sure they're all realistic and different from one another, which should lead to a very interesting story!

Any tips?
Not really! The premise and art look appealing so far (and it's cool to see it as a GxG game). Like Seigetsu, I think it could be compelling to see more focus on Chris's struggles with her personal identity/weight issues (and of course whatever personal secrets you have in store with us for the other girls).

Ah thank you for the advice! I do have a plot/theme and a pretty good idea of how things are going to go =). Even added a new character who will know about the dreams as well. Don't want the game to have much fantasy though. It's still mainly a slice of life =).

As for the characters I'm making them as realistic as I can =). It's hard though. Even with them maybe being in set roles at first it'll change. I might edit Kelda a bit and base her off a character I made for a contest.

And you're both right. Maybe focusing on the would be a better aspect for this game. Yeah, I think I'll go with that. Thanks =).

[pocoscon]

Jade's and Kelda's sprite are fully done done =). Here's an example of them. Thank you Yen =).


Kelda



Jade

[Razz]

Those sprites look incredible! Jade's eyes are so pretty.
I like the premise as well!

[pocoscon]

Those sprites look incredible! Jade's eyes are so pretty.
I like the premise as well!

Than you =). And I'm glad you like the premise. Thanks to people who commented above I changed it. Though slice of life isn't my best genre it's nice to write something more on the simple side. So far Jade is fun to write because she can go so many different ways XD.