A retelling of the Frog Prince

[Ein]

Hey everybody,

I am totally new to game design, but because Ren'Py is so very amazing, I was able to fulfill a dream and make a visual novel.
I would really treasure any and all feedback...I hope to make more games, but I want to make sure my next one is better than the first.

My story is kind of a retelling of the Frog Prince fairytale, but with some original elements thrown in for flavor. It's pretty short, one play-through would take about 15 minutes, and there are 3 possible endings.

I've uploaded it on itch.io:
http://ein.itch.io/frog-story








I'm really concerned about the sound/music choices I made; I'm *hoping* the sounds are thematic, rather than distracting, and I could really use an unbiased opinion.

Although I've never posted here before, I've made much use of this forum to help me troubleshoot my script, and I am so appreciative of this wonderful resource for non-coders, like myself, who want to make games.

With much gratitude,
Ein

[Harliqueen]

What an absolutely amazingly charming VN!

I loved the art, and the sprite animations were incredible. The transitions you used suited the whole feel of the story and really enhanced it.

As for the sounds, I don't think they were distracting, and the music was beautiful and once again really suited the theme of the story and the feel of it.

There were some really great moments, and even though it was a nice, gentle story, the humour was well placed and had me chuckling. A great take on an old classic fairytale.

Overall it was brilliant!

Edit: (Just wanted to note that you didn't archive your game files, not sure if that was on purpose or not? Just thought I'd mention it! )

[Ein]

Thank you so much for the kind words!!

I'm so happy you liked it....and I am a total n00b and will confess to not know what it means to archive the files...does that mean they are made unavailable to the user/player to open natively (photoshop, etc)?

[Harliqueen]

Yeah, archiving just means hiding your game files (script, images, etc) from the public so as they can't get to them. I think it also helps make the overall game file size smaller for download.

There's some info here about how to do it- http://www.renpy.org/doc/html/build.html#archives

But again, absolutely brilliant VN!

[sendo]

Just finished my playthrough and here's my feedback.

Music and Sound:
I think the music selection was nice. Although I admit I thought "this music again?" when I heard Kevin MacLeod's music. But overall, the selection fit the tone of the story. I especially liked the 'bonding' music.

I liked the use of ambient sound effects instead of playing music all through out the game. It gave a nice atmosphere for the scenes and gave the music much more impact.

I found my self chuckling whenever the 'surprised' sound effect was played. It sounds like someone is getting punched but that could just be me

Art and Scene Direction:
The art style suited the theme perfectly. And I was pleasantly surprised not only with the amount of art, but with the animations and the use of transitions and effects.

Animations are generally scarce in VNs (at least with the ones I've played) so it's really nice to see it here.

The way you used transitions were really good and added much more visual interest! Like the camera focus effect you used early on, although I think if the blurriness was a tad stronger it would be more noticeable and would look nicer imo.

Story and Writing:
I really enjoyed it

Overall a wonderful game! There are still areas that can be improved (like the GUI and tracking how many endings were seen, to list a few). But for a first game, this is really well done! Thanks for making it and I hope to see more from you

Oh btw, you can also upload your game to the Ren'py games list at: http://games.renpy.org/. I think it would be a great addition to the games.

[nipaa_kazuma]

Hello =)
I really liked this game, it was a good surprise.

Sounds and music fits the story really well, it was a pleasure to play.
I could recognize the original story and the little changes were pleasant.
And the most impressive for me : the art !
Your style here is really cute and the animations blow me away.
I even stopped playing a few seconds sometimes to see the loop much longer ^^.

Conclusion : your VN is a real pearl !
Congratulations, I'm eager to see more of your fantastic work.

[Asahel]

What a little gem of a game! I only have one word for it, lovely! The artwork was the cutest I've seen in a long while and very fitting for a fairytale themed game.

The animations left me speachless, I loved your use of Live Composite and I'm happy I have your script as reference if I'll ever dare to try implementing it myself in a game.

The only two things I would tweak a little are the surprise effect (too punch-like) and, perhaps, I would make the text a touch more visible. White on pastel made it difficult sometimes to read, but it wasn't a deal breaker in the least.

Overall, it was a heartwarming little game that I really enjoyed and will be playing again!

[Asahel]

By the way, I was surprised this thread doesn't have as many views and comments as it deserves, maybe you should put up some screenshots.

[philip]

@Ein-

Came across this tonight, and thought - Ho - hum! But I decided to download it anyway, and I am SO glad that I did. What a delightful, well crafted story. Have gone through it several times, to make sure that I didn't miss a thing! Another poster called it a gem - the perfect characterization (and a bit of a pun, to boot). A very good job!

philip

[cometgears]

Very cute art. I loved the animations! You used a lot of the effects in a great way. It was a nice retelling of the story.

[Ein]

A big thank you to everyone who commented on my game!

@Philip - thank you for giving it a try even though it looked boring!

@Asahel - Ok, I will add some screenshots tonight! Thanks for the tip!

@Harliqueen - thanks for answering my n00b question; I think I'll leave it unarchived for now, since some others might find it useful.

The animations were really time consuming, so I'm glad you guys enjoyed them...

[SilverSnow]

Thumbs ups! Although the presence of background music was inconstant I still loved it. How you handled the animation effect was truly admirable as well! I like the tone of colors you used both for the character sprites and the backgrounds. You did an awesome job retelling "The Frog Prince" (the once I've come across to up to now were pretty dark compared this one) and the game ! Hope to see more from you（‐＾▽＾‐）

[VocaloidsRCool]

What a cute game! I really like it a lot~ Does professor Laurean have an ending?

[Ein]

@VocaloidsRCool - sadly nope, Laurean is not obtainable...in the perfect ending, you see why! ^__^

[Miggrator]

The art is adorable, the pace is just right, and it's just such an enjoyable, sweet game. It has earned its place in the folder with other games too lovely to delete once I've finished playing them.

Thank you for a lovely experience.