Ariane Eldar Games - ideas, suggestions

Questions, skill improvement, and respectful critique involving game writing.
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Musick
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Ariane Eldar Games - ideas, suggestions

#1 Post by Musick »

Hello,
I have made my first Renpy game a few days ago, Ariane Eldar's rock Strip quiz, based on the eponymous comic book character. The game is a rather simple quiz about rock music with hand-drawn images illustrating correct answers.
Game here on itch.io: https://ritchierat.itch.io/ariane-eldar ... rip-quiz-1

I thought about creating more complex games that should go with the style and atmosphere of the original comics.
Ariane Eldar is the main character of the comic "Theatre of the bloody tongue", which is sold on Amazon as paperbacks, while parts of the comic also appear as free webcomic. She appeared in other webcomics, too, like in "Ariane Eldar Private" (Gag-A-Day webcomic, updated sporadically), as minor character in "Steampunkgorgon" (abandoned some years ago, but still on the net) and in "Bad Moon Soho 69" and "Bad Moon London 1875" (both no longer on the internet).

I don't want to flood the first post with links, so here is just a trailer for "Theater of the Bloody Tongue" in YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=By-fWjgoXE0
Ariane Eldar has also an own Facebook page.

The (still somehow vague) idea for the next game: I thought about a mix of datinggame and quiz. The player would take the role of a man who hires in Ariane's theatre as assistant, and is trying to approach Ariane, while he has to fulfill various tasks in the theater (picking the right costume or instrument, throwing out the abusive customer, etc.) Ariane is an unaging witch with a fiery attidude, that only works as burlesque performer because there weren't any job vacancies for witches, so the task may be sometimes dangerous for her assistant.

Requirements:
- the game should contain erotic elements, but not be pornographic. (I know that's a thin line, but I think you get the point.)
- There should be some references to the rock music, classic movies (horror, Film Noir), classics of pop culture, etc.
- There'll be clichés and stereotypes, but treated with some irony.

Characters:
- The players character, named Harry Rag
- Ariane Eldar, star of the Theater of the Bloody Tongue, and in charge of things
- The audience (maybe just for booing and laughing)
- Maybe: Ritchie the Rat creature (from the comic, too), giving hints (sometime wrong ones, if he think it's funny)


Some technical notes:
- I draw traditionally with ink on paper, but probably use virtual coloring for the game, maybe adding shading with coal.
- If I should use any sound effects I do them with an analog synthesizer, microphone and effect devices.
-Speech samples would be nice though, but I have no suitable female speaker, although I could edit the voice with vocoder and filter.
- As a gaming platform, I'll probably use Renpy, although I am rather new to it. I would have used course lab, but it's unfortunately not licensed for the publication of entertainment games.
- Language of the game would be in English.

Questions:
Does anyone have suggestions, ideas, tips, comments about the game idea, or ideas for other games involving the character?
Would someone like to participate in the game, and how?

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Curtid21
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Re: Ariane Eldar Games - ideas, suggestions

#2 Post by Curtid21 »

Hey Musick, just tried out this quiz. (I think this should be in "Demo's and Beta Testing" btw)

I like the art style and it's pretty cool you have a diverse world set out already.

Notes:
I found the text hard to read all throughout. It's small, red text lined along a red background. I think having a text box to contrast would help. This includes the answer texts.
Please change the "Are you an adult" question. - Boy was that hard, much too hard for a 1st question. I'd guess most VN readers are 17-Late 20's like me. You really don't want them leaving the game to Google answers. Which leads me to the next point
I'd really appreciate it if getting a question wrong didn't take you right back to the title screen. I unfortunately was unable to complete the entire game because of that.
I think you can use the opportunity of your renpy games to introduce readers to your comic-world you've spent so much time building already.
"Are you ready?"
Ready as I'll ever be.

Musick
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Posts: 62
Joined: Wed Jun 20, 2018 3:14 am
Completed: Ariane's Assistant Ariane Eldar's Rock Strip Quiz 1
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Re: Ariane Eldar Games - ideas, suggestions

#3 Post by Musick »

Thank you for the first answer.
I deleted the text boxes as I found them blocking to much of the picture, but I am not quite happy with that solution either. I havent figured out really how to move and resize the textboxes and textposition in a way that they are still readable and not blocking any pictures. I'm sure it is possible somehow, but I didn't get it right by now. Something to work on.
Getting a question wrong ends the game so far- I could think of putting it back just a screen or so that you get a second chance to finish. (Unless it is a really bad answer and players ends up as rat.)
The next game I would like to do (the Theater assistant game) would be much more complex and longer, so I think a wrong answer will not stop the game (for some exceptions), instead Ariane will just kick the player character against the shinbone or so.

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Curtid21
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Re: Ariane Eldar Games - ideas, suggestions

#4 Post by Curtid21 »

Definitely, man.
I'm not one for coding either, so I'm probably going to be in the same boat soon. But when you get a minute, would you mind critiquing my work as well?
I have a short, first script I've been working on and would really appreciate any feedback. The post is next to yours I think viewtopic.php?f=47&t=50825
"Are you ready?"
Ready as I'll ever be.

Musick
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Posts: 62
Joined: Wed Jun 20, 2018 3:14 am
Completed: Ariane's Assistant Ariane Eldar's Rock Strip Quiz 1
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Re: Ariane Eldar Games - ideas, suggestions

#5 Post by Musick »

I'll have a look at it and see if I can give some feedback.

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