Toire No Hanako (A story about fear)

[Donmai]

I'm honestly surprised to see not many people have commented on this game. I think this is such a nice VN. I really like it.

I'm not surprised, honestly. This Forum produces a big amount of good VNs regularly, and I'm still a new member doing some "non-standard" work.

The characters, wow. They felt so real and human-like, maybe it's because of their fears. Anyway, nice cast of characters. Isamu was favorite. He was easy to sympathize with and I liked his brave and kind personality. I also liked Tomie, even though she didn't get much screen time. I liked the relationship of Reiko and Isamu. It was a little rushed, but it was so touching and sweet. The yuri was a nice touch. Yoko and Kaori make a cute couple. Kind of wished there was more scenes with them though. xD

Yes, I was forced to omit a lot of scenes, or the story would never be finished. Many characters still need more time to show their full potential. Well, I've heard some "rumors" that a sequel is in the works. Let's wait another year and we will know if it's true.

The writing was amazing. I was entertained, I was enlightened, I was surprised. It made me think about fear and life. It made me wonder how beautiful love can be.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! That was my intention. You don't know how your words make me feel rewarded.

[Laniessa]

Finished the game! Just in case, I'm going to spoiler everything.

If I'm going to be honest, the fact that the name of the game turned me away a bit since I don't deal too well with horror, but wow, that was sweet! The music was nice, and the art was actually very nice too, wow. I did feel like it kind of dropped the horror-related stuff at the middle - I don't want horror, but keeping some of the names and references might have given a bit of cohesion. Nonetheless, good job with the game! I enjoyed it very much.

[Donmai]

Thank you for the feedback!

[ebi-hime]

I have been playing some of this VN, and it's pretty fun. The sound design for it is so, so good... Like, all the music fits every scene perfectly, the sound effects are all exactly where they need to be, silence is utilised well... The sound of this VN really adds to it, and gives it a great atmosphere.
Also, I really like the 3D art used. I like how all the characters have such pretty long eyelashes (the main characters looks so cute ehehehe) and the filters that have been used, it makes everything feel kind of gloomy and grungy. And I think some CGs use real photographic backgrounds with the 3D models? If so, and that isn't just me imagining things, that's pretty cool - it helps certain scenes stand out.

I noticed the characters have a tendency to use a lot of exclamation marks when talking, though, so everybody sounds really excited and/or surprised all the time... which I thought was kind of cute, but maybe didn't help the creepy atmosphere so much n_n;;
Also, sometimes the writing is a bit... forced, maybe? Like, the characters have a habit of giving their whole life story rather easily, and sometimes talk out loud using metaphors/similies and very 'flowery'/overly formal language that isn't really that common for high school students?

But the somewhat stilted way of speech makes the VN feel kind of quirky, and it didn't detract that much from the experience.
It's been a really fun read so far, I'll look forward to finishing it! n_n

[Ran08]

Hmmm, haven't I played this before? Is this a new version or something Donmai? Because if it is, I'd totally play it!

Oh wait. Even if it's not a new version, I still would love to play it again. Hahahahahaha.

[Donmai]

I noticed the characters have a tendency to use a lot of exclamation marks when talking, though, so everybody sounds really excited and/or surprised all the time... which I thought was kind of cute, but maybe didn't help the creepy atmosphere so much n_n;;
Also, sometimes the writing is a bit... forced, maybe? Like, the characters have a habit of giving their whole life story rather easily, and sometimes talk out loud using metaphors/similies and very 'flowery'/overly formal language that isn't really that common for high school students?

Thank you for your comments, ebi . There's at least one character (Naomi) who talks using an overly formal language, but that was intentional. Everything else is because I'm a Portuguese native speaker, and I've learned English from books only.
On the TNH beta thread I once declared that "Toire No Hanako is an OELVN with a heavy foreign accent"

Hmmm, haven't I played this before? Is this a new version or something Donmai?

.
It's basically the version you played before, with better sound, a lot of text corrections, two or three CG's redone and a music room added. I'm currently working on another project, 'Slumberland'. I put a demo here, but it haven't attracted too much attention .

[philip]

@Donmai-

I just finished going through Toire No Hanako for perhaps the sixth or seventh time, and thoroughly enjoy it each time I do! It's a well told story with interesting characters and marvelous art.

Noticed your comment about Slumberland - how is it progressing? I played the demo and am looking forward to more!

philip.

[Donmai]

Noticed your comment about Slumberland - how is it progressing?

Hi, philip. Working now on 'Javier's route'. I'm seriously thinking about creating a 'work in progress' thread.

[kitsalai]

Seems like other people have taken the little critique I had right out of my mouth (the explanation marks were out of place and the rushed scenes for the side characters).

Anyway, I just want to say thank you for making such a great game. I finished it much faster than I do with other games cause I couldn't stop reading it. It was a brand new experience seeing this kind of artwork. I accept a lot of things, so I see no problem with using 3D models if it gives you the look you want. Everything flowed really well together, which is one of the hardest things to do successfully.

[Donmai]

Thank you for commenting, kitsalai . TNH was my very first VN effort, and I know it shows. Thanks to all the feedback I'm receiving, I hope my future works will be better. I'm happy to know you have enjoyed the reading experience.

But the somewhat stilted way of speech makes the VN feel kind of quirky, and it didn't detract that much from the experience.

Toire no Hanako has a 4 hours long story. It stayed on beta for over a year waiting for someone to proofread all that text. philip kindly invested a lot of time and effort doing it. To my surprise, we discovered that much of his work isn't showing in this version of the game. Apparently, although I am sure I've made all the corrections he suggested, I've made some stupid error when building the current version. I apologize for being so dumb and will try to correct this problem as soon as possible.

[Karl_C]

A great VN! Thanks for sharing!

[Donmai]

Thank you, Karl.

[tigglypuff]

Wow! I am so late to this party haha. I'm sort of new to the world of VNs and this is one of the first indie projects that I wanted to try I have literally just finished going through Toire no Hanako and I'd like to say that I found it very interesting! It seemed rather cohesive to me, how the main characters went through conquering their fears - Isamu and his side stories with all the other students, and Reiko and her haunted home. In retrospect, it seemed to be done very nicely - although Reiko's fear seemed to be more dramatic and attention-grabbing, you were able to put a somewhat equal focus on both Isamu and Reiko throughout the course of the plot. Another thing that I especially found worked well was the music - you were really able to put different moods to different scenes by using each tune well.

Although, I'm still wrapping my head around the ideas about love and fear. Maybe the message was a little too deep for me, but I'm sure I'll be able to come to a conclusion after some more thought about it. ^^;; I do wish that there had been more about characters like Yoko, Misashi and the other students but in the end I understand that this is a story about Isamu and Reiko's fears.

Also, I like the slight references to Junji Ito and his works. Especially when Reiko and Isamu go to visit Dr. Tomie - I was so nervous that something terrible was going to happen to them there!! Ha, as you know it turned out to be alright and a very pleasant surprise instead, as had been most of the VN. Although the ending and its music did scare me a bit!

[Donmai]

Thank you for your feedback, tigglypuff.

I do wish that there had been more about characters like Yoko, Misashi and the other students but in the end I understand that this is a story about Isamu and Reiko's fears.

Me too! That's why I'm thinking about doing a sequel. Many of the narration issues people pointed out are the result of my struggle to pick only the more important passages of the story (otherwise TNH would be 10 to 12 hours long and I would be still working on it).

TNH2 would have some differences. For starters it would be a choice based narrative. And you'd start with Isamu and Reiko, but, as the story progresses, you'd be able to unlock other characters' point of view. For example, after some time you could chose to have the story narrated by Miyashi, or Yoko. I don't know when I will be able to start working on it, probably after I had Slumberland finished.

For now, I've only made some tests and interface programming, to see if my ideas would work.

[Watercolorheart]

filtered poser render is my aesthetic. How long would you estimate the average game is?