Looking for feedback

[Poorman973]

I have never made a visual novel, or any game for that matter but it is something i want to try. I can't draw or know how to work a visual novel creator but i would like to think that i have a nack for trying to create characters and stories. This is a project i have started only recently and uses altered versions of characters i have already created. For now, before i really get to asking for art, music and other stuff, i would really like some opinions to help me build or if need be change things to make them fit together more.

Since i posted this i have tried to at least create an extremely basic story to build upon and show where the story might go.

I posted all my current notes here on deviantart:
https://www.deviantart.com/poorman379/a ... -913303512

[cisco_donovan]

Hi!

I too cannot do the drawing thing so I feel some of your pain. It's hard to make a visual novel without artwork - and finding and collaborating with artists can be incredibly difficult. And expensive.

For the record, there are alternatives out there which don't rely on visuals. You could try and create interactive fiction with Twine or Ink. These are text-first game engines and they might suit you a lot better. Twine is very easy to use. Ink's a little bit harder because it's a scripting language and requires lots of strange syntax - but it's also great, so might reward the time spent learning. I mean if you have to learn Ren'Py's script anyway, it might make more sense for you to learn Ink instead?

Anyway, back to your actual question

For me, your Story and World notes are all very... backstory-ish. I, er, well I can't say it nicely, but I don't particularly care about that? What I care about is what happens in the story I play. So I know there's magic and multiple dimensions, cool, but what's actually going to happen in this story?

Similarly, seeing a list of character sheets isn't going to draw me in. I can't say whether those will make a compelling game or not. What's more interesting is the interactions between characters, or how they change and develop throughout the story.

You've clearly put a lot of thought into your world building and characters, and that's great. Really important. But I think if you want some feedback, or to get some more interest from people, you need to tell us what your actual story is. How does it start? How does it end? What happens along the way?

It would also help to understand the themes of the story. It looks like it has a strong romantic element? Is it a story of redemption, or heartbreak? Is it a mystery, or adventure? Is it about building your own character or playing a role?