Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

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lordcloudx
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Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

#46 Post by lordcloudx » Thu Aug 21, 2008 7:54 am

In the end, it's your decision. What works for me may not work for you, what works for Jake and Samu-kun might not work for you either. I don't know what kind of messed up western bullies you get in your area either, however, Samu, telling people not to listen to me, I'll take that personally. :evil:

I'd just as sooner tell you, Cybeat. Don't listen to Jake and Samu-kun.... especially Samu-kun XDDXXD :roll: :roll: :twisted: :? :roll: :evil:

Sure, the bully might have bigger and badder friends than you, but seriously, if you don't make any effort to stop habitual violent attacks against you, you deserve all the bruises you get.

Samu-kun, you'll make a horribly wimpy father one day.

You guys are the ones who don't get it. Sometimes, you don't really do anything to attract bullies. Sometimes, the bully just picks you. If you don't take a stand; if you don't let them realize that you are getting hurt, you don't like it, and you will hurt them back for it. Then, the bullying will continue.

Also, don't get me wrong. If you hurt them, expect to get hurt in return, but put yourself in the bullies' shoes. Would you keep picking on this guy if you know that he's going to do something unpredictable and hurt you back if you do?

Remember this before making any more inappropriate cultural references: The Philippines is a violent developing country. Every day, people die from homicide and gang-related killings in my area alone. Bullies from the age of seven and up regularly carry butterfly knives or other easy to conceal weapons here. This is the type of environment I grew up in, fighting back is my way of coping with this environment. Thus, my experiences, my opinion, is just as valid as any of yours.

You walk through unfamiliar territory here, people tell you, "Gigripuhan namin ang gilid niyo!" (We're going to make a faucet on the side of your body.)
How do you make your games? I see. Thank you for the prompt replies, but it is my considered opinion that you're doing it wrong inefficiently because I am a perfushenal professional. Do it my way this way and we can all ascend VN Nirvana together while allowing me to stroke my ego you will improve much faster. Also, please don't forget to thank me for this constructive critique or I will cry and bore you to death respond appropriately with a tl;dr rant discourse of epic adequately lengthy proportions. - Sarcasm Veiled in Euphemism: Secrets of Forum Civility by lordcloudx (Coming soon to an online ebook near you.)

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Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

#47 Post by Ren » Thu Aug 21, 2008 8:49 am

lordcloudx wrote:Sure, the bully might have bigger and badder friends than you, but seriously, if you don't make any effort to stop habitual violent attacks against you, you deserve all the bruises you get.
Mmmh, personally this one disturbs me a little-sure, doing something instead of running away is better but I don't see how gathering friends to beat them or beat them himself could be the only option available.

Since we're doing this 'listen to/don't listen to' thing: listen to Papillon, I think she said a lot of sensible things(plus she's cool, that helps :P )

But sure, don't listen to Cloud, Jake and especially don't listen to Samu-kun!
Last edited by Ren on Thu Aug 21, 2008 8:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

#48 Post by lordcloudx » Thu Aug 21, 2008 8:50 am

lolz, ok. I'll listen to Ren. Listen to Papillon :P
How do you make your games? I see. Thank you for the prompt replies, but it is my considered opinion that you're doing it wrong inefficiently because I am a perfushenal professional. Do it my way this way and we can all ascend VN Nirvana together while allowing me to stroke my ego you will improve much faster. Also, please don't forget to thank me for this constructive critique or I will cry and bore you to death respond appropriately with a tl;dr rant discourse of epic adequately lengthy proportions. - Sarcasm Veiled in Euphemism: Secrets of Forum Civility by lordcloudx (Coming soon to an online ebook near you.)

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Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

#49 Post by Jake » Thu Aug 21, 2008 8:51 am

lordcloudx wrote: Sure, the bully might have bigger and badder friends than you, but seriously, if you don't make any effort to stop habitual violent attacks against you, you deserve all the bruises you get.
I don't think you understand what 'deserve' means. But still - sure, if you make no effort to stop it, then it will continue. But violence is not the only thing you can do to stop it.
lordcloudx wrote: Samu-kun, you'll make a horribly wimpy father one day.
In our ivory-tower western civilisation, we like to think that there are merits to a person past how hard they can throw a punch. :P
lordcloudx wrote: Sometimes, you don't really do anything to attract bullies. Sometimes, the bully just picks you.
...
but put yourself in the bullies' shoes. Would you keep picking on this guy if you know that he's going to do something unpredictable and hurt you back if you do?
These two sentences don't fit so well beside each other, you know? If you do nothing to bring it on in the first place, if the bully sometimes picks anyone to attack, then the bully has already shown he doesn't care how likely the person is to retaliate, because the totally-randomly-chosen target could just as likely be a crazy violent person themselves as they could be a weak easy target.

In my experience, 9.9 times out of ten, regardless of the situation, somebody who behaves confidently and assuredly doesn't get bullied where someone who acts meekly and uncertainly is far more likely to. You might not be saying anything to bring it on, but by doing or not doing certain things you are marking yourself as a potential target. The only kind of person who goes around attacking people totally indiscriminately is the mentally-ill kind, and there's nothing you can do about them, even violence isn't going to work. :P
lordcloudx wrote: Remember this before making any more inappropriate cultural references: The Philippines is a violent developing country.
...
Thus, my experiences, my opinion, is just as valid as any of yours.
This is nice, but I was under the distinct impression that Cybeat was in the US, which on the whole isn't nearly so bad as you make the Philippines sound. Your opinion might be just as valid if we were advising someone who lived in that kind of environment, but I don't think we are. :P

If you go around assaulting people in a country like the US or the UK, where people like Samu-kun and I are drawing our experience, then you lose out more often than you benefit from it. It's just not worth doing, nearly all of the time.
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Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

#50 Post by lordcloudx » Thu Aug 21, 2008 9:02 am

Jake wrote:I don't think you understand what 'deserve' means. But still - sure, if you make no effort to stop it, then it will continue. But violence is not the only thing you can do to stop it.


I think you're the one making the misunderstanding here. Reread my whole post if you haven't already. I never said that violence was the only possible solution, I just said that sometimes violence is the last and only resort to be had against some types of bullies.
Jake wrote:In our ivory-tower western civilisation, we like to think that there are merits to a person past how hard they can throw a punch. :P
In our wooden-tower eastern civilzation, we like to think there are still merits to how fast a person can throw a punch regardless of age, sex or nationality.
because the totally-randomly-chosen target could just as likely be a crazy violent person themselves as they could be a weak easy target.
I think you're making an assumptio non probata here. Just because the bully picks a random target, you're automatically assuming that he's crazy in all aspects. Certainly, bullying should stem from some psychological problem with the bully, but remember that the bully is still a human being who can feel pain if you try to hurt him back.
Jake wrote:This is nice, but I was under the distinct impression that Cybeat was in the US, which on the whole isn't nearly so bad as you make the Philippines sound. Your opinion might be just as valid if we were advising someone who lived in that kind of environment, but I don't think we are. :P

If you go around assaulting people in a country like the US or the UK, where people like Samu-kun and I are drawing our experience, then you lose out more often than you benefit from it. It's just not worth doing, nearly all of the time.
That's nice, but from what I've read here, Cybeat doesn't necessarily live in totally the same environment as you guys do, although there might be certain similarities. I'll admit that your opinion on this case is "perhaps" more valid than mine, if there are enough similarities in your so-called "Western Environments" to conclude this, but that's something for Cybeat himself to decide. Or, perhaps we can ask him to describe his situation to us with more detail.
How do you make your games? I see. Thank you for the prompt replies, but it is my considered opinion that you're doing it wrong inefficiently because I am a perfushenal professional. Do it my way this way and we can all ascend VN Nirvana together while allowing me to stroke my ego you will improve much faster. Also, please don't forget to thank me for this constructive critique or I will cry and bore you to death respond appropriately with a tl;dr rant discourse of epic adequately lengthy proportions. - Sarcasm Veiled in Euphemism: Secrets of Forum Civility by lordcloudx (Coming soon to an online ebook near you.)

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Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

#51 Post by PyTom » Thu Aug 21, 2008 9:07 am

Disclaimer: I was educated in a series of private schools, and so if there was bullying and fights, it was generally a low-key affair kept between the two students involved. I've never been in a real fight, either.

That being said, I've always liked the following advice, taken from "Babylon 5":

"Never start a fight, but always finish it."

or maybe the similar quote from Theodore Roosevelt:

"Don't hit at all if you can help it; don't hit a man if you can possibly avoid it; but if you do hit him, put him to sleep."

I think it's important to realize that in both cases, the first part is as important as the second... if you are the one that throws the first punch, you are in the wrong, period. Your best bet is to realize that you are better than the bully, carry yourself as such, and in general ignore the bully to the point of not giving him the time of day. Either he will lose interest and move on after a while, or he will attack... and it's only in the latter case that force is allowed.

Again, realize that you're taking advice about fighting from a SF TV show and a speech from 1899, so take what I'm saying with a grain of salt. Software, I'm good at. Wetware, less so.

EDIT: Two other aphorisms, the latter perhaps Roosevelt's most famous quote.

"Peace through strength."
"Speak softly and carry a big stick."

Have you tried training in a martial art or something like that? Bullies are not totally irrational people, and if they see you in a position of self-confidence and strength, they may leave you alone. At the very least, you'll learn strength and discipline, and those can't be bad things.
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Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

#52 Post by Jake » Thu Aug 21, 2008 9:14 am

lordcloudx wrote: I never said that violence was the only possible solution
This is true. You also suggested "shouting". :P
lordcloudx wrote: In our wooden-tower eastern civilzation, we like to think there are still merits to how fast a person can throw a punch regardless of age, sex or nationality.
Well, I can assert that I haven't punched anyone since I was... 15 or so, probably, and I seriously doubt I'll ever need to. I'll stay clear of the Philippines, though, just in case, eh? ;-)
lordcloudx wrote: I think you're making an assumptio non probata here. Just because the bully picks a random target, you're automatically assuming that he's crazy in all aspects.
No, I'm not. I'm assuming that the bully doesn't pick a totally random target in the first place, because I've literally never seen anyone do that, and never seen anyone do anything like it. Every single time I have seen a bully pick a target, it has been someone displaying distinct signs of weakness, one way or another.

Then, I tried to rationalise why this happened, and came to the conclusion that it was probably because most people weren't totally insane. ;-)
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Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

#53 Post by Cybeat » Thu Aug 21, 2008 4:51 pm

@Blue123: You stabbed someone with a pen? :twisted: I should try it too (no necks stabs)...

@Jake: I know switching class is only a temporary solution, but I don't know what I'm supposed to fix. If I say nothing and do nothing "for" the bullies, I don't know what's the problem. Only thing I can do is get ready for what happens next. I'm actually waiting for it. I'm not going to put up with this crap anymore. If the bullying persists after I've done everything I can to avoid it, and I can't take it anymore, I'm going to snap. I'm probably dealing with different kinds of animals here. (People can also pick on you when you're different)

@PyTom: Those are some cool quotes.

No, but I plan on taking some martial arts soon. Right now, I just lift weights.
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Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

#54 Post by VaanAshe » Thu Aug 21, 2008 5:21 pm

As such, my advice is probably not the best advice (I was never actually beat up - if only because when you're 6'5", it becomes harder to hit a person's head, especially if they're good at dodging =P), but yeah.

As such, I generally either ignored them completely (as in, literally pretended they weren't there), or just agreed with them (for example, I was bisexual last year at school, because when somebody said "You're gay!" I replied with "Actually, I'm bi." ...maybe not the best idea, but it did actually get them to stop =P). I generally don't hit people because I'm not a violent person (although I generally don't need to hit people, because I strike back when I need to - which the people bullying me seemed to note and didn't bother - and because I had a female friend who had boots with steel toe-caps and enjoyed kicking people in the balls. Which was great, because she'd typically do it to the people bugging me - although that could be because they bugged her as well).

As such, ignoring, agreeing or getting a friend with boots with steel toe-caps is the way to go! Or something like that...
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Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

#55 Post by Der Tor » Fri Aug 22, 2008 2:51 am

Well when somebody calls me gay, I thank them. I mean i would like to think of me as gay but i am not allways... :? But it's nice to hear others giving you compliments. :oops: There was also someone whose last name was "Gay-Lord" and everyone made fun of him... but honestly, i can't think of any name more beautifull... i mean if you think about it... "Gay-Lord" = "carefree, happy and brightly shining God". Can you think of any name more beautifull?
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Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

#56 Post by Enerccio too lazy to log in » Fri Aug 22, 2008 6:05 am

just get this http://www.securityprousa.com/mod44adtasm1.html and there will be no bullying =P

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Re: Why Do People Make Fun Of You?

#57 Post by LVUER » Fri Aug 22, 2008 10:01 am

Sorry I'm late to join in. It seems that you have some serious problems here. Bullying, happens everywhere, no matter where you live. May be I'm lucky enough to not experience 'true' bullying but I can't say my childhood memories are good either. Not to mention that my very 'Japanese-looking' face made thing from bad to worse.

When we are talking about bully, it different from place to place. I think it also has connection with the cultures and habits, like adults involvement or how hard daily-life in the area. I heard from my friend (that came from another area), adults do not want to be involved in matters like bully (so you can't ask help from adult) as long as no serious crimes is committed. He said that it is a process to make the children grow into adults.

But one thing for sure is, no matter what, do not hit unless it is the last thing you could do. Run is always a better way. Retreat is a strategic way to ensure your survival for better tomorrow. Not hitting back and exacting your revenge doesn't mean you are coward. It always easier to commit violence and revenge. Do you prefer the easy way? Your call.

I think I won't start talking about hitting back or someone in this post, since in your post I think that they never actually harm you physically. It all depends on you and your self-control. Why do you bother taking their insults. Why do you must loss something because of people like them. Ignore them. Or even better, prove them that you are far more superior than they are (by getting your straight A's may be?).

I know 5 years is long. May be long enough to make someone snapped. But I endure it far longer than you. If I can, why can't you? I believe you can!

Anyway, if this makes you better, you are not alone and there are lots of people that bullied far more worse than you.

May be that it is one of my principle that "Do not do what you do not want people do to you". So I never ever hit a person (or do any harm or trickery to other people) until the last moment possible. (BTW, I fought several times and they never felt any good, although I won. I let my anger got best of my head and my heart). Anyway, do you believe in karma?

And yeah, practicing martial arts is really help (me), in developing both your body and spirit. I practiced Tae Kwon Do for about 3 years. Remember that you practice martial arts not to have revenge or beat somebody. Doing so will only consume your heart and not healthy for you.

I know things are hard for you. But please hold on. Things will get better sooner or later if you try. Godspeed!

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