The Rise and Fall of Gemini (released January 2009)

[lunasspecto]

Note: This project was released in the Completed Games area in January of 2009.

I have written a short story with the intention of making it the script of a visual novel. The story is at http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2572166/1 ... _of_Gemini and is basically about fictional astronauts of NASA's early days (or the early days of some equivalent alternate-universe space agency). I took a bit of inspiration from the Gemini IV mission.

Since I started this thread, AlphaProspector has contributed art and lots of help in putting this project together. We're nearly ready to release the final distribution of the project.

If anybody is wondering what happened to that partially completed script I posted here a little while back, it's on indefinite hiatus; it never matured to a point where I would look for help in completing it.

Peace,
Kazuki Mishima

[Tsundere Lightning]

Now this is RIGHT up my alley. If you intend it to be a romance VN rather than straight sci-fi, I would suggest making it an AU or near future.

I would love to edit or preread.

[lunasspecto]

As I see it, the nature of the story's setting will be largely determined by whoever illustrates the story; I'll let the artist decide the look of the spacecraft and such.

The story is definitely not straight science fiction. It's about a doomed relationship between two astronauts - a relationship whose nature is so enigmatic even to the people in the relationship that to them its mystery rivals that of the stars. Whether that makes this story a "romance" is debatable.

Tsundere Lightning: I'm glad somebody finds this interesting! You can send me any editorial/artistic comments about the script/story I linked to in my first post.

Peace,
Kazuki Mishima

[AlphaProspector]

What a coincidence... More spacey stuff is always welcomed. The human touch is also appreciated.

Is this meant to be a short story or will it be long? (I mean, will you adapt the current short story to a VN or you are using it as a template that will get expanded because the more focused/finished, the better)

How many backgrounds or which type of backgrounds you had in mind? Which are the settings? (if everything happens in space I could try modelling a 3D Earth and make several renders at different levels or orbits and then post-processing them in Photoshop to polish and give them a less CGI look)

Will the characters need a portrait it'll be ok without faces/character shots? (like the Junker from Planetarian, so the story would be told through the characters' voices and a narrator instead)

For characters and faces, Deji is one of those supreme beings in that field. I cannot draw anything resembling a human face, let alone a human character...

I have to say it sounds interesting. lol, and I also admit I bite the bait with the almost sci-fi approach.

edit: wow, you also have written works in spanish. Interesting! (note: spanish is my mother language)

[lunasspecto]

The current (very) short story I linked to in my first post is intended as the complete text of the visual novel; I simply can't hold a story together much longer than that. Some of it is supposed to take place on the surface of the planet (Earth?). I'm hoping for graphics that show the characters in their environment. As for the story's genre, I suppose it has elements of historical fiction, being inspired by NASA's earlier exploits, including Gemini IV with NASA's first spacewalk and Apollo 1 with its fatally disastrous training exercise fire.

edit: AlphaProspector: What did you think of my stuff in Spanish? Spanish is NOT my mother language.

[AlphaProspector]

I see. Argh, not sure I can help with the Earth-based (or alter-Earth?) backgrounds much... But I did feel I caught a glimpse of two images for the last couple of sentences:

One is a first person perspective from the inside of the old and super small space shuttle module (I'm basing this from the movie Apollo 13 which, coincidentally, I saw not so long ago! They had this super small geometrical windows surrounded by cables and buttons to see the space), a kinda blurred and dirty glass that shows a lonely image of the Earth with the soft, dim light of a few stars (here we assume the sun is exactly behind the ship, thus making hard to see the stars). An image of grandiosity but also extreme loneliness.

The second, perhaps for the end, is a night shot of the Earth from space, this time with the sun hidden behind it, allowing the stars to shine in all its glory... and from those stars the scene would slowly dissolve to a cluster of constellations with cold, bluish colours and a sensation of unbearable distance: maybe a collage of NASA footage from Quasars/blue giants OR, maybe manually creating a starfield+nebulae with Photoshop.

Given it's a really really short story, perhaps three-four images for Earth-based stuff would suffice I guess, like a blurred photograph over a desk or a black background, the shadowy shades the government men that take the characters contrasted to a white background, maybe a picture of a flower field for the beginning (the old, long lost days) and maybe smoke trail with an explosion in the night sky for a failed rocket launch?

About the spanish: some phrases sounded a bit bit awkward but that's it... and I've seen some extremely scary stuff from native spanish ("cubo" with v, "experiencia" with s or "haber" as "aver", urgh...) The one called Papa features a good word game with the triad Papa/papá/papa!

El Papa
está diciéndonos que somos la única iglesia verdadera
de su balcón. <<<< (here it should be "desde su balcón" so the preposition "desde" tells you from where is he telling his statement)
No se sonríe como el Papa pasado. <<< (instead of "pasado", " el anterior Papa" or "el otro Papa", should be the words; this one is an odd false cognate since "pasado" also means "past" in spanish but it applies more to situations/objects/things rather than people, like "bestias del pasado" = beasts from the past or "ecos de un pasado lleno de excesos" = echoes of a past full of excesses)

There is also one little mistake that shows up at the end: it should be "Ya no puede ser comida", "papa" is a female noun, the verb "comer" thus changes to female here and becomes "comida".

Other than that, good work! Nice to see a bit more of spanish around.

And who could've known kittens are such good and pretty friends!

[lunasspecto]

AlphaProspector: I really like all your ideas for the art. I can probably use image manipulation for the stars, as you mentioned, but for the other parts I'm definitely less inclined to use stock photographs.

I corrected my poem thanks to your advice.

Peace,
Kazuki Mishima

[Tsundere Lightning]

Impressions -

- Very short. This isn't a bad thing. 10 minute playthrough, about? 15?

- That the narrator is male and in love with a man is the impression I'm getting, but this could just be a dumb assumption.

- The prose is very purple. Again, not a bad thing: I like flowery language, and you use it well.

- It's a haunting piece. I like it.

[lunasspecto]

- That the narrator is male and in love with a man is the impression I'm getting, but this could just be a dumb assumption.

This is a possibility - but one the characters themselves would never consider because they live in a society too conservative for such a relationship (hinted at by the fact that all the government scientists are men). Should I develop that further?

Peace,
Kazuki Mishima

[Tsundere Lightning]

Yes. I like that.

[lunasspecto]

I've backed myself into a corner. I really can't develop this sub-plot of attraction any further; I just don't know how to do that without betraying the story as a whole. That is to say I don't know how to do it subtly.

Peace,
Kazuki Mishima

[lunasspecto]

Should I try contacting some of the artists in these forums directly? I'm hoping for some nice, simple backgrounds and/or character graphics for the non-space scenes of the story. I realize many people on the forums are starting the academic year and are thus rather busy. Should I just wait? Should I bump the topic? Oops! I just did.

Peace,
Kazuki Mishima

[N0UGHTS]

I've backed myself into a corner. I really can't develop this sub-plot of attraction any further; I just don't know how to do that without betraying the story as a whole. That is to say I don't know how to do it subtly.

Actually, personally, I'd rather that the whole attraction thing be just implied... I don't know, I just feel it would work better that way...

I realize many people on the forums are starting the academic year and are thus rather busy.

Ha! No kiddin'! Wish I could help.

Though I think it's a good idea to get this out early. Otherwise, they might have some other projects scheduled...

[lunasspecto]

Actually, personally, I'd rather that the whole attraction thing be just implied... I don't know, I just feel it would work better that way...

I agree.

[lunasspecto]

Blatant, unwarranted bumpage!