A22 wrote:
stuff
Arrogant post is arrogant... but flawed.
A22 wrote:
You didn't provide "hooks" there, merely the same thing with focus on different things.
Seriously, you're going to have to provide more-full examples of your own, then - because I can only assume that you are thinking of a totally different thing to me when you say 'hook'. The latter two of those examples contain hooks, in the meaning of the word I and everyone else I have ever talked to on the subject understand; they contain bits of information designed to demonstrate to the reader that there is an interesting element to the story. I and others have explained the meaning of the word that we're using more than once...
A22 wrote:
Go read American Psycho.
I've never read it, but as it goes - I know of two people whose opinion of literature I respect who think it's poorly-written crap, which is one of the reasons I've not bothered to read it. (Maybe they're wrong, but I'm not exactly short of definitely-good things to read, so I don't waste my time on only-maybe-good things.) Just because a book is famous doesn't mean it's necessarily well-written.
A22 wrote:
You guys(sulu especially) seem to think that the hook has to hit you in the face in the opening paragraphs, when it doesn't, and that is lame and stupid.
I absolutely don't think it has to hit the reader in the face, and I absolutely don't think it has to be in the opening paragraphs,
for some kinds of fiction. But I still think you'll be hard-pressed to find a well-written story which doesn't introduce some notable element of interest near the beginning.
I also absolutely don't think that it's always lame and stupid to have an obvious hook in the opening paragraphs, and it's pretty narrow-minded to presume that it is just because you've seen some bad examples of that. If you're talking about short stories, for instance, then it should be in the opening paragraphs, simply because short stories are... y'know,
short. And given that you don't really have time in a short story to switch pace too much, it's entirely plausible that you might want to open with an 'in your face' hook.
A22 wrote:
focusing on one, narrow kind of expository hook delivered in the opening paragraph of a game = shitsux.
Right. Now stop assuming that every time we say "x" we mean "x and y and z in the cheapest way possible" and maybe we'll get along.
A22 wrote:
Also, nice job saying "LOL SETTING AND CHARACTERS CAN BE A HOOK TOO SO INTERESTING" when Nicol pointed out examples of stories that start off with the main character doing something mundane just now, when Mikan got called out on how boring her hookless game was when she did it(and then reversed it and said her game didn't need such a hook after the fact).
Also, nice job on trying to frame us as hypocritical and getting all defensive over Mikan without understanding what people were saying. The point is that setting and characters
can be a hook,
if they're particularly interesting. A steampunk setting, for example, is particularly interesting because it's notably different from the world we live in. Sure it's not for everyone, and some people might not like steampunk, but that's not the target audience.
Mikan's game, on the other hand, doesn't (at least in that short demo, from what I recall) demonstrate a particularly unique setting or particularly unique characters. The notable information presented goes something like:
* Protagonist is starting at new school
* Protagonist lives next to girl who goes to same school
* There are more girls in his class
I mean... shock. None of this is particularly special, so as it stands it's only going to particularly appeal to people who really
really like clichéd school settings. The best general-audience hook she has so far is nice art.
Maybe that very-niche audience is who she's aiming for, so maybe it's fine. But she's mentioned other bits of information - such as that it used to be an all-girls school - that I don't remember seeing in the demo. That's more interesting than "hey, a kid goes to school and there are girls there", so maybe it's worth including early on before the reader gets bored and goes to download the CG set instead of reading through the story? What kind of hooks are appropriate depend on what kind of story it is that Mikan's telling, but fundamentally her demo start as it stands is pretty dull, and if she wants to appeal to people other than hardcore school-story fans, something needs to be done about that.