Memo [1.03]

[VenusEclipse]

Downloaded and played this VN for about fifteen minutes. It looks really nice. Very appealing. I love the options screen. I just stare at it sometimes (I know it sounds weird).

I like the addition of the other male character too.

[YagamiShinji]

Hi!

I'm from Yukihime (http://yuhime.com) and I want to translate your game to Brazillian Portuguese (pt-BR).

Well, I'm trying to decompress the script and rebuild with a pt-BR TL.

But I can't access the script and the images.

So, anyone of the developers can give me the scripts and the resource files to rebuild the game?

[PrettySammy09]

Hey! I just played through the game and wanted to say "congrats" on finishing such an awesome, beautiful project! The art is just gorgeous and the customization is fantastic.

I agree with what a lot of other people said. Especially about Kazumi not playing a bigger role - I really preferred her to Liz but was sad that I couldn't pursue her.

Liz was a bit TOO violent to be likable. ^^;

But other than that, this was pretty cool! Great job!

[F.I.A]

Japaneses tend to refer others by their family name instead of their first name unless they are closely related.

For example, they have known each other as childhood friend, however, for Liz's case, she denies the fact they used to be childhood friends, and she hates Seji's gut. Though there are girls like Kazumi who finds these formalities uneasy and thus chose to use first name.

Failing to do so tends to spread numerous gossips of both parties being engaged.

I cannot not help feeling trolled everything Kousuke appears.

- While I understand that some pink-haired guy messed up a meeting on the roof, but the whole purpose for the meeting was left unexplained to the readers. Why couldn't Seji ask Liz about it on a later date?
- So I gathered that Kousuke was hated for being a stalker. But why would they only take action and chase him around during the festival?

And then there are a few inconsistencies.

- I am pretty sure Seji thanked Liz for the soft drink. So any reason why Kazumi told him he didn't( And Seji admitted to this "mistake")?
- Upon picking broken wooden box up, Seji was quick to recognize it as a music box. And when Liz was nowhere found, he re-identified the thing he was holding as a music box?
- Why would Liz hit Seji when he entered her room during the festival? I would understand if she thought he was Kousuke, but it wasn't mentioned.
- What is more unbelievable is that throughout a week, the girls treated Seji as a local instead of a transfer student. Shouldn't they spend more time talking about that?

And of all things.

Any reason why Liz's play was not included? I played through a route which I believed is hers but all that awaited me is a simple transition and then Kazumi congratulating her.

[Samu-kun]

Okay, I'm stumped. I've played through it about eight times and so far, I haven't gotten ending 4 yet.

I agree that it's pretty strange that a name like "Liz" would be considered common in Japan. No, it certainly is not common and I think someone would have to be a complete idiot not remember that he had a childhood friend who had an American name. XD

The character art was quite exceptional, but some of the backgrounds weren't as good. The architecture of the backgrounds were generally lacking, although some of them managed to look pretty impressive thanks to the render quality. Also, I thought the far hand in the character sprite of Kazumi touching her face wasn't drawn properly.

I got pretty frustrated when I got ending 5 and 6 on my first two plays, since they lacked closure. But things generally got better once I found ending 1, 2, and 3. I would have preferred it if my choices impacted the story more. Most of the time, it generally felt like the choices played very little role in determining what would happen, which made ending hunting pretty tedious. Luckily, the character drama associated with ending 1, 2, and 3 managed to make the game enjoyable despite the frustration caused by the fact that my choices don't really determine which ending I get.

Like the fact that sleeping in late causes you to grab the key to the music box. Or the fact that poking Kousuke's body pairs you with Liz during the festival. Or that helping Kazumi makes you never realize Liz is your childhood friend. There's really no cause and effect for any of this, so the choices really don't help me determine the flow of the story and might have well just been selected randomly for me.

[Ayato Vu]

I got all the endings. It was a worth while game, if not for storyline, then for the amazing graphics.

I do have some qualms about the renai though. It seemed rather short. I would have liked some more background, or maybe even a route for kazumi.

[Doomfest]

YagamiShinji: Post something on the site to show that you are doing this (So I can tell that it's yours, since you only have one post here...), and I'll send you the unarchived files.

[Microman]

Hey, I found this VN via the KS twitter, just wanted to say that your artwork is fantastic! Keeping in mind that the project was made in such a short time, (I suspect you made it more or less as an "art/tech demo" for your own sake/amusement/skill advancement) the story was good enough and it gave me some good laughs along the way.
Again, the artwork was a treat.

Really really looking forward to Cradle Song!
(P.S. the email signup function on the "progress" page (http://www.cradle-song.com/progress.php) doesn't seem to work. It tries to send me to /subscription.php, which is not found. Not a big deal, but...)

[Doomfest]

Hey, I found this VN via the KS twitter, just wanted to say that your artwork is fantastic! Keeping in mind that the project was made in such a short time, (I suspect you made it more or less as an "art/tech demo" for your own sake/amusement/skill advancement) the story was good enough and it gave me some good laughs along the way.
Again, the artwork was a treat.

Really really looking forward to Cradle Song!
(P.S. the email signup function on the "progress" page (http://www.cradle-song.com/progress.php) doesn't seem to work. It tries to send me to /subscription.php, which is not found. Not a big deal, but...)

I'm glad you're looking forward to it! I have a lot of faith in the success of this project. I've forwarded the error to Dani, and he'll probably get to it as soon as he wakes up. For now, just use http://dischan.org/devblog/ for updates.

Also, thanks to everyone for the feedback! I'm sorry I couldn't think of much to say as far as individual responses go, but it really is quite encouraging to see the range and amount of things you guys have to say about it! Onward, developers!

[Catoni15]

I just got done playing through this (and getting all the endings, too!). I haven't played enough VN's to really know, but I suppose I could go with the people saying that the story seems done already, or that it's really familiar. I've seen it in other mediums, certainly, but as far as VN's go I think I'll have to take their words for it. Or play through more. Whichever. XP

The art is *gorgeous*! It is, hands down, the best part of the VN. It has a very "painter" feel of coloring and was very nice to see. As I played I could seriously appreciate the little details here and there, like the shading of their bows, the coloring of the eyes, etc. A treat to look at. =)

Here are my thoughts on the characters:

Seji:

This is probably the one character I genuinely liked and felt truly bad for. I mean, he spends the entire story getting treated badly by Liz and getting mind screwed by both Liz AND Kazumi. I felt like a lot of his responses and reactions were reasonable (like I would've thought/said/reacted the same way) and that he was just surrounded by a bunch of unreasonable people.
The only thing I feel like I could hold against him was not recognizing Liz as his childhood friend. I don't honestly know what would've happened for him to forget. I mean, if there was some backstory somewhere that he might've suffered an injury to the head or something then, yeah, I could understand (cliche as that may be! XD) but this? No, there didn't seem to be any real reason for him to forget. The only other conclusion I could come to is that it apparently didn't matter enough to him. If there's someone or something that someone REALLY cares about you don't just forget it like that. I mean, in the very beginning he sees Liz as he gets off the train and wonders if he's met her before. So, really, it's not like it's *entirely* out of his mind or memory. He just can't really recall. I suppose moving around so much may have had something to do with it.
How many faces, people and places had Seji seen by that point?

Liz:

Good God, I *hate* her. I mean, seriously. She's the most abusive, annoying and obnoxious person in this story. She has very few redeeming qualities. She's cute, I'll give her that. But that's about ALL I'll give her.
It seems to me that the whole reason Liz is treating Seji like crap is because of the fact that he forgot her and the promise they made. That, and it just seems to be in her nature to be pushy and er, violent? It could very well be both. Of course, if Seji's dreams/flashbacks are any real indication she seemed to be much nicer back then. Just, you know, energetic and not pissed off all the time. I'd say her anger was justified except that she should have made more of an effort to say something to Seji about it instead of moping around and being a bitch. It just seemed like she made no real attempt to bring it up and I don't know if that's because she thought he should've done it right when he got there or what. I think (if I remember this right) Liz said Seji's name on the first train ride that he takes: I don't know what to make of that. Was that her attempt to get his attention? Did she expect him to jump up and greet her, recognizing her from childhood? In the first event CG we see Liz looking off to the side, away. She's not really acknowledging Seji, despite having said his name uncertainly. If she had walked up to him and started talking to him like she knew him and he was like,"Whaaat?", THEN I could see her anger being appropriate--Like a, "How could you have forgotten about me?!" type of reaction. But she didn't. It's almost like, just because he's the guy, she expected him to make the first move.
I don't know. I just felt the whole mess could've been avoided with some C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-I-O-N.

Kazumi:

You know, I liked her in the beginning but then two things became apparent: 1) You can't get together with her and 2) Her happiness seems to be determined by Liz's happiness. These kind of killed it for me. I kind of thought that Seji's childhood friend would change depending on who you chose to get close to. Like, for example, if I wanted to get close to Kazumi and I did, she would turn out to be the childhood friend (and the same would apply if I chose to get close to Liz). THAT would have been pretty cool.
But, anyway, what drew me to Kazumi in the first place was the fact that she was nice to Seji. Since, you know, it makes sense to be more gravitated to the person who isn't, oh, I don't know...NOT beating the crap out of me? But then something else occurred to me about Kazumi as the story went on: she seems to be oddly manipulative, don'tcha think? It's obvious at some point in the story that she's trying to push Seji and Liz together. That's the biggest point of her manipulation. The other time I've seen it is when she procrastinates and doesn't seem to mind pushing her work on people who aren't really responsible for it (Liz and Seji). When she gets Liz into her work it's more willing on Liz's part since the two are friends, so I don't really see any manipulation *there*. It's when she's trying to rope Seji into it. She gives him the biggest pile of fliers and, when he protests that it's *her* job, she says something along the lines of, "Well, yeah, but you're a guy, so...". And when that doesn't work she gets all sweet with the "Pleeeease~?". Ugh.
I agree with a previous poster who mentioned that Kazumi may be a lesbian with a "I Want My Beloved to be Happy" crush. There are a few of instances that seem to point to this in the story:

1) When Kazumi is dragged away by a student council member she's heard saying "My Liiiizzzy!" Odd.
2) Liz blushes when Kazumi throws her arm around Liz after the play. Why bother pointing this out otherwise, I don't know.
3) Waaaay too interested in Seji groping/peeking on Liz. Oh boy.
4) Kazumi's bitchiness rises the more you push Liz away. In that case she's either the kind of lesbian mentioned above or this girl really has no life of her own. O__o

Concerning Kazumi's bitchiness: when the player gets involved with a path that involves Kousuke more it's hard to win with her here. You defend and warn Kousuke, she slaps you. You warn the teacher that Kousuke is nearby and she slaps you. What the hell? Mixed signals much? Ugh. A Liz moment there for her if ever I saw one.
Another thing that I liked about Kazumi was her playfulness. This usually showed when something happened with Liz that was even remotely perverted (like Seji seeing Liz changing by her window). I also noticed it when Seji opts to help Kazumi with the work and she ends up landing on him by mistake. The CG event there made her look amused and playful with Seji lying on the floor (which may have contributed to the confusion that she was a potential love interest). It makes me wonder why it was even there in the first place. It felt so misleading. I mean, hey, don't get me wrong: it was funny! It was just...yeah. Heh.
To sum it up, I guess I just thought Kazumi was wasted here. She could have been more. The story here seems to tell me: "You get Liz or you get nothing!" because if I choose to push Liz away Kazumi wants nothing to do with me (which is annoying!). I mean, I wish there was a way I could turn away from Liz without upsetting Kazumi. Like, a response or explanation where Seji could explain that he and Liz had something at one point, yes, but time changes people. They're not the same people they were. That Kazumi can't force two people to be together because it makes one person happy (Liz). If there'd been something like this it could take away the things I didn't like about Kazumi and add to the story. It just made her feel like she was an instrument and not a person. =/

Kousuke:

I did NOT like this guy in the beginning. Of course, that was before I got to play through to endings 1 and 2, which include Kousuke a little more than the other endings. For the most part he's the annoying creepy stalker guy that obsesses over the two girls you just happen to be interacting with throughout the story. Which, inevitably, puts you into his line of fire. The part where he grabs Seji's notes and tosses them was IRRITATING. At that point I wished that you guys had put in a gag ending where we could toss Kousuke off the roof. THAT would've been funny. The law be damned! Haha.
I honestly liked the talk Kousuke and Seji have when you choose to help Kousuke and hide in the student council room. It just made me feel that, yeah, while Kousuke IS creepy and weird, he just seems to be misunderstood and pushed away. When everyone hates you, hell, what do YOU do? And considering the people in the damn school (all so very unreasonable) what else can Kousuke do or say that will make it better? Nothing. Nothing, because everyone is intent on hating on him. Kousuke says he's only trying to be friendly and he is in his own twisted, creepy sort of way. And when he joins Liz, Kazumi and Seji after the talk with Kazumi's mom? Man, his apology was a nice thing to see. It's like he acknowledged (while running around the school like a maniac of course, HAH!) that his actions are wrong. Hell, that moment was the most mature I'd ever seen anyone be in the story (maybe with the exception of a Seji moment or two?). So, for Kousuke, I say: Good for him!
The one thing that confused me about that scene was where Kousuke mentions something about Liz agreeing that Seji deserved something. What was that about?

Aaaand, that's it for them! Ha.

As for the endings: They all seemed too similar to me (with the exception of 1 and 2). And when I say similar I meant similar in that they didn't leave much of an impact on me. Even the happiest of endings (happy, right?) didn't feel terribly fulfilling. I don't know. Considering that any even remotely happy ending

involved being with Liz

it's no wonder I'm not crazy about them. It almost felt...ugh. Like

Seji is slated for the rest of his existence being with Liz--he and Kazumi instruments of her happiness. ONWARD, INSTRUMENTS OF HAPPINESS, ONWARD!

(Hey, in any of those endings with Liz doesn't Seji even make a comment about a "dark prospect"? Left me confused but, God, it felt oddly fitting, no?)

All in all, it wasn't a bad VN. I have my gripes but it is, certainly, far from bad. And, hey, a lot of the criticism could be a result of my personal taste (especially regarding characters). Plenty of people can feel free to disagree with me. XP

[Microman]

Here are my thoughts on the characters:

Seji:

The only thing I feel like I could hold against him was not recognizing Liz as his childhood friend. I don't honestly know what would've happened for him to forget. I mean, if there was some backstory somewhere that he might've suffered an injury to the head or something then, yeah, I could understand (cliche as that may be! XD) but this? No, there didn't seem to be any real reason for him to forget. The only other conclusion I could come to is that it apparently didn't matter enough to him. If there's someone or something that someone REALLY cares about you don't just forget it like that. I mean, in the very beginning he sees Liz as he gets off the train and wonders if he's met her before. So, really, it's not like it's *entirely* out of his mind or memory. He just can't really recall. I suppose moving around so much may have had something to do with it.
How many faces, people and places had Seji seen by that point?

Hello, my thoughts on the matter:

My impression from the flashback scenes was that they were pre-adolescent when they were separated - maybe 10-11 years old? It's amazing how some (but not all!) people change when they enter adolescence. I've a bunch of nieces and nephews in the 10-16 year old range, I've seen them grow and some have really change in the process, while others have more or less just "grown" without changing much else.
I can imagine how, being separated from they were 10 to 16-17, Liz might have really changed while Seji stayed relatively recognizable. Also keep in mind that many girls radically change their hairstyles over the years, which really makes a difference as well.
Maybe you got a different impression from the flashback scenes, regarding their age when being separated?

As for Liz - well she's got a personality for sure! In our anime/manga world where the normally calm Ayumi round-house kicks Mayama (Honey & Clover - lovely must-see series if you haven't already) for not a very big reason other then having an unanswered crush on him - well I guess I've grown accustomed to exaggerated actions of violence in these mediums, and I find this kind of thing funny at times.
Disregarding the violence, conflicting feelings in a high-schooler's mind (I suspect she has a bit of a crush on Seji, mixed with her feelings towards him as a long-lost best friend of sorts, mixed with her proud personality...) can really result in some "weird" behaviour, and not only in the anime/manga world. She's got a fierce and proud personality at the same time as having insecurities towards Seji; I ended up finding her a quite likable character.

[Wintermoon]

I liked Liz, mostly because I can relate to her feelings. She's looking forward to seeing Seji again, but he doesn't even recognize her. That must have come as a huge shock to her. Add to that the way Seji picks on her, and it's completely natural that she would lash out at him.

[Catoni15]

Hello, my thoughts on the matter:

My impression from the flashback scenes was that they were pre-adolescent when they were separated - maybe 10-11 years old? It's amazing how some (but not all!) people change when they enter adolescence. I've a bunch of nieces and nephews in the 10-16 year old range, I've seen them grow and some have really change in the process, while others have more or less just "grown" without changing much else. I can imagine how, being separated from they were 10 to 16-17, Liz might have really changed while Seji stayed relatively recognizable. Also keep in mind that many girls radically change their hairstyles over the years, which really makes a difference as well.

I came to the same conclusion about their ages in the flashbacks. Except I think I may have pegged them a little younger (maybe as young as 6?). And I do, certainly, know about how people grow and change (or don't, necessarily, heh). I haven't really moved from the city I spent most of my childhood in and I've seen people from waaay back in elementary school (now adult age, like me, in their 20's) walk into my workplace (grocery store) and I can pin them right there and then. Some of them have changed so much and, yet, I can still pin them. I'm the kind of person who's been told that I'm "different and yet still the same"--which likely puts me in the category of "'grown' without changing much else"

As for Liz - well she's got a personality for sure! In our anime/manga world where the normally calm Ayumi round-house kicks Mayama (Honey & Clover - lovely must-see series if you haven't already) for not a very big reason other then having an unanswered crush on him - well I guess I've grown accustomed to exaggerated actions of violence in these mediums, and I find this kind of thing funny at times.
Disregarding the violence, conflicting feelings in a high-schooler's mind (I suspect she has a bit of a crush on Seji, mixed with her feelings towards him as a long-lost best friend of sorts, mixed with her proud personality...) can really result in some "weird" behaviour, and not only in the anime/manga world. She's got a fierce and proud personality at the same time as having insecurities towards Seji; I ended up finding her a quite likable character.

One could certainly see her, ah, "energy", as personality, for sure. That's just one of many interpretations. =)
I'll admit that I'm not as knowledgeable in anime/manga as I could be, unlike a lot of people here. I mean, I watch some, but not so much. I was, however, prepared (mostly once I saw the art) to try to process Liz's "violent" reactions in context of the anime/manga atmosphere. I know enough to realize that kind of reaction is usually played up for comedy and that she's probably Tsundere (probably? Really seems to be--like I said, I'm not as familiar with this. But this page helped enlighten me: Tsundere). There are a couple of shows where I've seen that kind of violence in but, even there, there was something else that seemed to balance it out or it wasn't as annoying. It just feels like, in the context of THIS story, Seji is put upon or beaten on or annoyed to the point where it just isn't funny. Now, the times when he DOES do something that warrants said beating--THEN it's funny. Like when he spies on Liz changing with the binoculars and she hauls on over there with a bat. I actually laughed.
But, yes, violence aside, I get what you're saying about the mixed feelings and pride. She's in high school and, apparently, high school is a hard time, I suppose. Maybe it was because my high school experience wasn't nearly as filled with drama. Or maybe I had a better head on my shoulders than she did when I was her age.
You like Liz or you don't. There is room for in between (as I've mentioned that the violence Seji receives and DOES deserve is entertaining) but, for the most part, she seems to annoy you or entertain you. I'll just go with the first. XP

Wintermoon: I liked Liz, mostly because I can relate to her feelings. She's looking forward to seeing Seji again, but he doesn't even recognize her. That must have come as a huge shock to her. Add to that the way Seji picks on her, and it's completely natural that she would lash out at him.

Part of my problem with her may be that I can't relate to her feelings. It may be because I've never been so close to anyone like that. I don't know.
Still, the problem could've been solved easily enough if she spoke up. There's even a path where Seji actually asks her if he's the Liz from his past and she says, "No". Which, for the life of me, I really can't understand why she would say that. Didn't she want him to say something? Really? Some people might argue that he could've pursued the topic further if he *really* cared but, considering how bipolar and violent Liz is, maybe he was worried he'd get bitchslapped for "bothering" her. Who knows? The girl is off her nut. I wouldn't want to provoke her either. O_o;
To be fair, the closest thing to "picking" on Liz that Seiji does in the beginning was tell her that her handwriting was terrible (when Liz threw him a note). That wasn't really teasing as much as it was him being honest--he couldn't read what probably looked like chicken scratch. I'll say the most he's guilty of there is lacking tact. He could've been more polite about the handwriting thing. But, yeah, other than that, she kind of started it. On their way back to the class, when he tried to ask her what she wanted, she snaps at him. And then, once back in class, she harasses him about sitting in his seat and even calls him an "ape". And, even though Seiji thinks of Liz as an annoying girl once he crosses paths with her in the library, he only goes to her for directions. She continues taunting him by calling him dumb for needing a map.
Any "picking on her" on his part thereafter I consider justified.

[Wintermoon]

Part of my problem with her may be that I can't relate to her feelings. It may be because I've never been so close to anyone like that. I don't know.
Still, the problem could've been solved easily enough if she spoke up.

What would be the point of that, exactly? She wants the Seji from her childhood who would never forget her. She finds out that that Seji doesn't exist and never existed. She's feeling betrayed, she's feeling stupid for ever trusting Seji, and confessing to Seji that he managed to hurt her is probably the last thing she wants to do.

To be fair, the closest thing to "picking" on Liz that Seiji does in the beginning was tell her that her handwriting was terrible (when Liz threw him a note). That wasn't really teasing as much as it was him being honest--he couldn't read what probably looked like chicken scratch.

You forgot the picture book incident.

[Catoni15]

What would be the point of that, exactly? She wants the Seji from her childhood who would never forget her. She finds out that that Seji doesn't exist and never existed. She's feeling betrayed, she's feeling stupid for ever trusting Seji, and confessing to Seji that he managed to hurt her is probably the last thing she wants to do.

The point? To not let it fester. Yeah, she feels hurt and it's crappy. But what's the point of letting it linger like that? Nothing gets solved. Okay, so she wants the childhood Seji. Part of growing up? You can't get everything you want. It's childish to assume things would always be the same because, well, they're not. It is painful to turn and find something you once held dear to be something completely different. More painful still when there's no recognition in there. I'm not saying she has no reason to feel bad, stupid or betrayed. I just think the way she's going about it is stupid. It's just a self inflicted hell--her own fault. It just makes her immature. Maybe that was the point of her. Couldn't say. It just makes her unappealing to me as a character. *shrug*

You forgot the picture book incident.

I didn't actually. I realize that I mis-typed. XD
The way I have it up there made it sound like the time where she mocks him about needing a map is where it starts to justify Seji's picking on her. I meant the point where she hassles him in class about him in his seat. My bad. Hehe.
And, as the events played out, the picture book comment came after the harassing in the class. So, yeah...