Woof-Woof-Work (otome/vamps/comedy(I hope) WIP)

[Doggy Nino]

How cool!!!! This game looks really fun and comical. Also THERE'S A DOGS! Yeah there's a dog girl! *Tail wags with amazing speed* There's vampires too which makes me want to play even more. I will defintely be stalking this game!

[IanaBri]

I like. I like. I'm getting overexcited. It looks great so far! wow. Yay. I like the ermm...backround(ish) story too. =))

[YonYonYon]

I'm still here. I'm still working. Sorry for disappearing.

Progress:
1) Story - 10%
2) Character Art - 40%
3) CG Art - 1%
4) Background - 1%

[Midnighticequeen]

I wish you luck on your game. I really look forward to playing it and it you need any help with anything be sure to ask. The people in this forum are really helpful and nice and their usually happy to help anyway they can.

And I love Reese, she's awesome

[Abeiramar]

Wish you lots of luck !! Keep working on your project, your art is really good.

[YonYonYon]

Thank you for feedback *3*

Now... I need some help with text. I'm not sure about my writing skills, so I want to ask:
1) Is this O.K.?
2) Some advise?
3) Сritique?

Here is super-puper-duper-terrible WIP-game for example =I

[Aleema]

Interesting start!

You'll need a native English editor. There were plenty of weird/off sentences, but I'm surprised by how well it was written, regardless.

Your POV (point of view) is very confusing. You start off with 3rd person, by calling Reese by her name, and then you changed to first-person ("So here I am.") as opposed to third-person ("So there she is.")

Your "???" character does not put his name into a second box like the other characters.

I would also suggest you give your text box a wider left margin (sorry my GUI senses are tingling). Like:

Code: Select all

style.window.left_padding = 10

Overall, very good start! I'm very intrigued by the castle. Your demo was pretty well illustrated for a text-only version. Good play through.

[YonYonYon]

You'll need a native English editor.

Oowww! Good idea *w* thank u

Your POV (point of view) is very confusing. You start off with 3rd person, by calling Reese by her name, and then you changed to first-person ("So here I am.") as opposed to third-person ("So there she is.")

I tried to do some trick (forgot the title...). But I'll fix it to normal first-person writing. It's will look better.

Overall, very good start! I'm very intrigued by the castle. Your demo was pretty well illustrated for a text-only version. Good play through.

Thank you ^w^ then I'll keep write.

[YonYonYon]

I'm still with yoooou~

Statistics:

The game contains 229 screens of dialogue.
These screens contain a total of 2,023 words,
for an average of 8.8 words per screen.
The game contains 0 menus.

[Hollow Gourd]

Is there going to be an explanation as to why the woman decided to curse Reese, or was that some sort of Dues Ex Machina excuse to give the girl dog ears?

[manga_otaku]

Hey hey hey~! I'm veeeeeeeery interested in this project :3 It made me laugh when I saw the sketch of Night strangling you (I'm sorry! It was just so funny xD).
I shall look forward to this :3 And the fact that it has vampires doesn't put me off (I was put off a lot when Twilight ruined the ghastly and superior image of vampires). Good luck! I look forward to this~!

[YonYonYon]

Hey hey hey~! I'm veeeeeeeery interested in this project :3 It made me laugh when I saw the sketch of Night strangling you (I'm sorry! It was just so funny xD).
I shall look forward to this :3 And the fact that it has vampires doesn't put me off (I was put off a lot when Twilight ruined the ghastly and superior image of vampires). Good luck! I look forward to this~!

Thanks oAo Sorry for freezing this project, I was busy with real life and stuff. But I'll definetely finish it someday