Need Opinions on Stories

[Ventara]

Alright, so I'm interested in making a visual novel, and I though I'd start with the story. Anyways, I've brainstormed some ideas, but I want opinions on them. The last thing I want is to spend time drawing scenes and making music for a crappy story. Feel free to rework these ideas, or even throw in your own. Thanks in advance!

1.) Genre: Space, Adventure, Comedy
Plot: Follows the adventures of optimistic idiotic captain (think Zap Brannigan) and his crew as they travel through space.
Story will mostly surround characters and their various mishaps/adventures, with decisions not really affecting much. Ending will probably consist of a bigger adventure.

2.) Genre: Space, Adventure, Philosophical
Plot: Follows the adventures of a boy and his friend robot (the robot could just be his ship) as they visit various civilizations throughout space.
Decisions would involve how the boy interacts with the various civilizations, with the choices he makes affecting the final chapter of the game. I'm think of involving some sort of decision selection option that will become available after the first playthrough so that players can just replay the final chapter without having to replay the game to see all endings.

3.) Genre: Science Fiction, Mystery, Suspense
Plot: Follows a time traveler detective (kinda like Sherlock Holmes) as he tries to catch his nemesis; a crazed man bent on destroying the world.
Decisions involve attempting to undo stuff that the evil guy has done, with the ending being affected by the results. I'm thinking a possible good/bad ending, with a true ending and additional scenes becoming available on second playthrough.

4.) Genre: Suspense, Psychological
Plot: A guy wakes up with amnesia in some village in the middle of nowhere. The villagers help him out, but he soon realizes there's something wrong, and he'll have to figure out what, while trying to remember his own past and if it has anything to do with the village.
Decisions will mainly consist of how he handles situations, and whether he meets an early demise or makes it to the end. There'll be a good/bad ending, with a few early bad endings (probably with an option to go to the last decision to save time).

5.) Genre: Suspense, Mystery, Thriller
Plot: You're stuck on a deserted island with a group of people you met on a cruise ship before it capsized during the storm. Help is probably on it's way, but people start dying one after another, and you have to solve who the killer is before you join the dead. Kinda like 10 Little Indians if you're familiar with that book.
This will have multiple playthroughs. First one will be a generic good/bad ending, while in the second playthrough there'll lots of new decisions and scenes, and knowledge of what went on in the first playthrough helps. In the second playthrough you're actually trying to catch the killer, and there'll be a bunch of good/bad endings depending on how early you die/solve the case.

6.) Genre: Mystery, Comedy
Plot: Someone ate your cupcake, and it's up to you to go around interviewing and investigating your family members to deduce who ate it.
This will probably be short. You'll be going around the house asking questions and looking for clues. Depending on how you handled interrogations an what evidence you found, you'll be given one of multiple good/bad endings.

7.) Genre: Comedy, Romance, Slice of Life
Plot: You're trying to help your best friend's family bakery from closing down. You'll deal with everything from loan collectors to construction to your main competitors, the pastry shop across the street.
Decisions will involve how you handle situations, with the results affecting the future of the bakery.

8.) Genre: Comedy, Romance
Plot: You're a dude and you've got 4 girls vying for you. Basically a harem.
Decisions involve choosing which girl and how you treat them, with the results leading to multiple good/bad endings.

9.) Genre: Comedy, Supernatural
Plot: You've just died an unnatural death due to a freak accident. Your ghost remains behind in the real world, and you decide to haunt the idiot that caused your demise. But you soon realize this idiot has his own problems.
Decisions involve whether what you do to the guy and whether you help him or not, resulting in a good or bad ending.

10.) Genre: Comedy
Plot: You and your otaku brother have been transported into the anime world. Here you'll have to protect your brother from girls claiming to be sisters/cousins/mothers/god, dudes saying you're the chosen one, magical fights, and many other cliches found in anime. All while trying to find your way back to the real world.
Decisions involve how you handle situations, in which making the right choice would make getting the good end easier.

11. ) Genre: Comedy, Slice of Life, Supernatural
Plot: Ever since you were born, you've always had you've always had two sides to you; two personalities that switch every so often. You're aware of the other, but have no recollections of when the other one is in control. You've learned to live with this through writing messages to the other and keeping a low profile, and both sides of you being of like mind, things go more or less smoothly. Things change though when your grandmother passes away and your forced to move to the city and attend a public school, where keeping a low profile isn't as easy.
Story will revolve around interactions with people in the city and how he tries to keep his secret hidden. Decisions won't affect the story.

12.) Genre: Comedy, Slice of Life
Plot: You're a homeless man living on the streets, with the only people to keep you company being your fellow hobos. Everyone has their story of how they got there. As you listen and walk with them, you learn more about them, and about yourself.
Decisions involve how you live your life as a hobo, and how you help the homeless people around you, which affects whether you get the good or bad ending.

[Camille]

First I'll say that in general, it's a lot easier to write a story that you yourself like. Even if everyone picks, say, option 11, if you don't really get into it and feel excited about it, it doesn't really matter how "good" the idea is because you probably won't be able to finish if it's not a story you personally feel strongly about.

That said, I like #7 the best because it has a simple enough story to get the plot going without being needlessly complicated, and yet you can also take this story a lot of different ways and go beyond the simplicity of "helping your friend with his family business". It sounds like a game I might actually be interested in playing.

[HigurashiKira]

#6 Seems the best for a beginner since the story dosen't require too much thinking and it adds a "fun factor" to doing it.

But I personally like #5 since I'm into that sorta thing

[Applegate]

Most of these are just concepts rather than stories - the plot is really just your schemed plan on how the stories flows forth from cause to effect, much like mathematical equations.

Rather than present a number of ideas to people you've hardly even met, it's a better idea to consult yourself. What do you want to tell with your story? Idea #8 has, very basic, "4 girls are lusting after you" as being its motif. There is no ingenuity here or attempt at explaining why these girls are after you. What is the core idea behind this idea? What do you want to tell with such a story?

Suppose that you want to highlight the problematics of a popular high school boy who, struck with a paranoid indecisiveness due to childhood trauma from being just generally affable and knowing that you can't give everyone enough attention, finds himself in the dilemma where four girls all vie for his affections and attention. Think hard. What is the core idea you can bring forward? Is it this dilemma where it's impossible to get all four girls what they want? Okay, but how does the protagonist come into play here? Why must this story be told from his perspective, rather than that of, say, Girl B, who stands closer to the issue?

These are all questions you have to ask yourself when writing a story. Why is this my protagonist, preceded by what is the core message I am conveying? There's a story in your head you must want to convey before you can write - look over your ideas, ask yourself what story you want to write from there, and then try to figure out which you like best.

This can all be ignored if you're writing mystery, because then it becomes a battle of wits between author and reader, in which case you only need a clever trick and a good case.


To answer the original question, I enjoy #9 the most, because it has the basic premise of a starting situation (you died and became a ghost), a driving motivation for the protagonist (revenge for getting killed), and then a problem/conflict (the one that got you killed has his own slew of problems - do you forgive and help the man, or do you stick to your hatred?). It offers room for character growth and permits the player to re-evaluate the meaning of forgiveness if pulled off nicely.

[Sapphi]

These are all questions you have to ask yourself when writing a story. Why is this my protagonist, preceded by what is the core message I am conveying? There's a story in your head you must want to convey before you can write - look over your ideas, ask yourself what story you want to write from there, and then try to figure out which you like best.

This. If you don't have a good reason to tell your story, it is a heck of a lot harder to write it. And of course, to answer your question, I like #12. It seems like it could be really funny. (This is coming from a person who thinks it might be fun to make a VN with characters based on people from COPS, of course, so take that how you will )

[Ventara]

Thanks for the help guys. I had some time during work to think about some of these ideas and how to develop them into a story, but I ended up just struggling. You guys were right about needing a reason to tell your story. I couldn't even come up with some basic characteristics for the characters. I definitely need some kind of motivation or reason to help me create a story.

Anyways, I think I'm going with what HigurashiKira said and go with #6. The rest of the ideas seem too complicated for a beginner like me. I think it would be best to start with something small. Also, I like comedy mysteries and want to tell a lighthearted story, and It's not as difficult making up the characters and scenario, especially since there isn't much of a plot outside of "Who ate my cupcake?"

Alright, so let me run #6 by you guys again, but with a short summary of what I'm thinking the story could be.

Plot: So you're a little girl who, after coming home, finds that the precious cupcake that you had been saving has been eaten, complete with the wrapper in the disposal bin. The prime suspects are your family; dad, mom, twin brothers, older sister, and grandfather. And as far as you're concerned, everyone is guilty until proven innocent. Everyone is under house arrest (or more like it's too hot to go outside) while you carry out your investigation and interrogate the suspects.

The plot by itself would probably pretty boring, so I'm thinking of including comedic scenes that involve the main character and one or more of her family members. I think this would add to the story by revealing how relations are amongst the family members, while at the same time increase the humour of interrogating your family members.

That's will be pretty much it for the story. I don't think anything deep or serious will fit, and I don't think I can write something like that anyways, so I think a light comedy mystery like this would be good.

Characters: I haven't thought of names, but I have an idea of how I want the personalities of the family members to be.

Main protagonist - Adventurous and smart. She speaks frankly and is perhaps a bit nosy. Can be at times a little hot-headed.

Dad - Can be a little clueless at times, but is caring. He's the kind of guy who does things and forgets about them an hour later. MP suspects he could have eaten the cupcake without thinking.

Mom - Caring mom, though can be a bit bossy and over-caring. MP disregard to doing her chores could be motive for taking the cupcake. She did say something about a punishment.

Grandfather - If there's one thing he likes more than telling stories to the grandkids it is sweets. He has been acting awfully quite.

Older Sister - Your regular caring older sister type. But there are times when she does a 180. And she said she was going on a health kick, but she still looks the same.

Twins - These will be two suspects, but their personalities will be pretty much the same. They're mischievous and sneaky. They're good brothers but like to pull pranks. MP suspects them the most.


Gameplay: So for gameplay, I'll have a little tutorial explaining it, but it will be pretty much you moving around the house by selecting from a menu list (Kitchen, Living Room, Basement, etc.). At the moment, I'm thinking 6 areas, one for each family member (or to make things easier, instead of areas I'll just have a list of their names).

The main protagonist will have to interrogate each family member and record their answers in her notebook (which will be automatic, and these answers can be reviewed at any time). As she learns more info, she'll be able to pinpoint the location and activities at certain times of family members. When she gets more info, newer questions will be unlocked that she can ask the suspects. When she finds discrepancies in their stories or contradicting situations, she will be able to call out the suspect and demand a new answer. By the way, all answers provided by suspects can be called out as a lie (as long as you are with the one you're calling out). However, needing proof (testimonial from another suspect contradicting their answer) is essential, as the suspect can just lie. When prompted to provide proof, you'll need to open up your notebook and select the answer to the interrogation question that revealed that the suspect is lying. If no proof can be given, then her previous statement stands, and if this is done three times, the suspect will leave the house out of annoyance, and the investigation will have to continue without them, making things harder. Game ends with bad ending when three suspects leave. Good end is when you solve the case

That will be pretty much what the gameplay will consist of, with each lie that you unravel bringing you closer to the truth. There will be a time limit (time moves as you move around the house), so you must choose wisely how to carry out your investigation. This time limit won't really be strict or anything, just something to motivate the players to keep pushing forward. Running out of time will also be a bad end.

I was thinking of involving a hidden object mini-game, but I don't know how complicated that will be, and I think a simple game interface will be best for a story like this. I'm also thinking that I could somehow randomize the game so that there'll be a new culprit everytime. Would that be worth it, or should the one scenario, one culprit suffice?

Also, I realize that this is starting to sound like Clue (the board game). Would something like this even interest you guys, or is it too weird?

[HigurashiKira]

Aww, that sounds cute~ I'm always interested in seeing what people can create even if it's a small project.

Just don't go too overboard with this. If you put too much on your plate it can get hectic.