The "Forever Alone" thread

[Dollywitch]

Is anyone else just generally really lonely?

A lot of my friends have left or are scattered around the country and many of them just don't have any time for me. Recently one friend has just started ignoring me completely.

I tend to have some not-very mainstream interests especially in terms of music. The music scene here has really started to die out - I've been to gig after gig where people have just not bothered to come, at all. It's so aggravating. If someone puts on a free gig, and we're in the middle of a recession, you fucking go to it. You can just buy your one drink instead of staying at home wolfing down cans.

I'm one of the very few "gothy" type people I know. I'd like to know more cool goths/ hippies punks etc. but they just don't seem to be around. All the kids these days are these annoying scene kids/emos so I often fear for the next generation in terms of subculture.

Even when I link up with other "anime" people out here, they're not necessarily into the same stuff as me even if they're not all Naruto heads, and of course they're generally not into stuff like VNs and Touhou.

I don't feel like I can relate to most people. They seem cold and distant to me. People tend to be quite impatient with me too.

Being transgendered here is also pretty horrible as it makes it more difficult for me to be confident and socialise, and being autistic makes it harder to get out in the first place.

I don't really have many online friends anymore as I got tired of spending time on forums, dealing with assholes, overbearing mods, etc.

[Weakjounin]

I get lonely sometimes, but I don't really quite understand what you're saying I'm sorry...
I can't find anyone who matches my interests here, nobody shares my music tastes, there are no people who like anime and manga like me here and on forums im more or less ignored. I still make the best of things, try to make friends, or at least people it wouldn't hurt to waste time with.

[Chorvaqueen]

I'm not into anime and manga. Does that make me an outcast?

Lately, I've been having connection issues with iRO so not much left to do at home.

[Crusher]

I'm pretty much a "lone wolf", but I don't have any problems with that. In fact I chose this path of life myself .

I don't think this is the right place for such a topic though (as the answers seem to demonstrate). I suggest you look for a message board that focusses on things like that, in your case maybe one for transgenders or autism - I bet you will get some more helpful answers there. It sounds like something that can get pretty serious rapidly, don't underestimate it. I know what I'm talking about. Especially in your case because autism and being transgendered doesn't sound like something many people can deal with.

Besides it's in my opinion never a good idea to focus on a subculture. Just because some people listen to the same music that doesn't mean they are better suited for you.
I made the worst experiences with people who listened to the same music as me and the best with the ones who listen to something completely different most of the time.
But then again I don't identify myself with a specific music genre, so maybe it has another significance for you . I just wouldn't expect that those people are generally better.

[Anthy]

Yes, I'm also a "forever alone" kid.

I had two good friends, one of them died recently and the other lives far away but she tries to see me at least a few times a year (now she has a car, so it's a couple times a month, which is nice). All in all it's very... um, I dunno. I'm used to it but I really don't like it. It's boring, being alone. And when I'm ALL alone, my health tends to plummet, forgetting to eat and whatnot.

Now, I don't have any problem socializing with people on a superficial level, I just find it incredibly hard/scary to get close to someone beyond joking around or chatting. My "real" interests aren't at all mainstream, but I am aware of and follow enough mainstream things to have a conversation with pretty much anyone. I think it's a good idea to cultivate yourself beyond a tiny bubble of subcultures. If you can only talk about X or Y, you're closing yourself off to a lot of opportunities. But if you get to know someone through "normal" topics, you can introduce them to X or Y and they might like it too. I mean, you can't expect people to understand you if you don't make any efforts to understand them too...

Anyway, a lot of people out there do just that-- they like a lot of cool stuff but they hide their "power levels" (lol). It's just a matter of knowing when to let your guard down i guess?? You'll never know unless you try to find out. Amazingly, in a small class of about 20 people I've met fellow Sailor Moon fans. Just by chance, I took the risk of working in my sketchbook during break and people noticed.

Online friends are abundant and awesome and all, but aside from talking and talking you can't really do anything with them, which sucks.

[PervertPrince]

Naruto heads? I thought the popular insult was Narutard. Anyway, that doesn't matter...

Ya know, I'm always alone but I've never actually been lonely. I always hated having friends. Always calling you up to do stuff, never leaving you alone...it's bloody irritating >.<

At least with online friends you can choose to ignore them if you want and you never actually see them but people in real life? Yeah, no thanks. I'd like to keep my sanity, thank you very much.

[Sapphi]

Even when I link up with other "anime" people out here, they're not necessarily into the same stuff as me even if they're not all Naruto heads, and of course they're generally not into stuff like VNs and Touhou.

This... I really have a time and a half trying to find people who are even willing to watch 70's anime, let alone enjoy it. I mean, pretty much everyone I've met IRL that knows who the heck Captain Harlock is, is male and like 30+ years old. Not that there's anything wrong with that demographic, but very few 30+ year old guys are interested in hanging out with a 20-year old girl on a platonic basis.

I'm not really forever alone, but I can definitely sympathize with you here. It really sucks when you're a big fan of something and none of your friends understand why.

[Anthy]

I'm 21 and I like Captain Harlock. Though I mostly watched it and other Matsumoto-verse stuff when I was a kid. He was a very cool character.
For some things, all I had to do was show it to a friend and be like "read this, trust me." And then suddenly, we have a new loved thing in common and we'd discuss Candy Candy for hours. "I cried so hard when _____" "omg you too?!" Or staying up all night marathoning my must-watch series like Twin Peaks with donuts and coffee. If they don't already have an interest in it or never heard of it, that may just mean they don't like it yet. And similarly, I'm introduced to new things through other people.

I'm kind of surprised how many don't seem to care about having friends, though! Either you're missing out and don't know what you're missing (ignorance is bliss), or are honestly very lucky that you enjoy alone time better than anything else. Now that I can't have it, I really really miss the complex operations and shenanigans I used to get involved in. Dressing up in a disguise or pretending to be a secret agent is no fun if I'm the only one in on it (not that I have the personality to instigate it, anyway). Making furniture a la Umineko only does so much, y'know... I think what's most important is the heart and how much fun a person is to be around, not just what TV they watch or music they listen to. Though of course, if they can't accept you for who you are, differences or no, they're not worth it, but I think that should go without saying...

[DrathFox]

For me, I too am winding down this path. Though that is also with the lack of not participating with schooling, going to church, or other sorts of communities out there (if there even is any XD).

I suppose one could create a 'messenger' thread for LSF members or something like that and post whatever they use, don't think I seen one of them on here yet. I wouldn't mind gaining some contacts in my list, it's lacking lately.

[Taleweaver]

Yup, Forever Alone Guy in this seat, too. Recently, one of my closer friends moved to another town some 250 kilometers away, and my current RPGing group only meets once every two to three months, so I have little entertainment aside from writing VNs and playing Wii games. Ah well...

[DaFool]

Yup, I've lost contact with in-real-life friends for a few years now. I don't socialize anymore since I'm a hardcore misanthrope. Ironic thing is the very few times I do socialize, something magical seems to happen, e.g. one dude met his wife through me, which was pretty recent too.

Anyways, I content myself with my backlog of PS3 games. I don't feel a need to vent out at anybody since participating in VN type projects is a good outlet.

Japan is making nurse robots now, so it'll only be a few years until I can buy a sexbot (probably will be assembled in China and explode on use). Also come 2045, according to Moore's Law, silicon chips will have enough capacity to 1:1 accomodate the human brain and all it's neural pathways, so I'll finally be able to upload myself to the internet and become immortal -- as long as I don't catch cancer by then.

[Blue Lemma]

It's a lot harder to socialize once you're out of school. Your friends/acquaintances tend to be people you met when you were in school, or coworkers. There are meetup groups and things like that, but it's hard to find things with traction.

I'll finally be able to upload myself to the internet and become immortal -- as long as I don't catch cancer by then.

Nah, you'll just catch a virus

I'm not a believer in the "uploading" oneself to the internet, though... You'd have a data model, but I think it'd be a sort of "the lights are on, but nobody's home" type thing. I mean, would you let someone kill your physical body after your brain was modeled/uploaded to the net? Probably not. You'd be dead. </offtopic>

But yeah, it's tough once you reach a certain age.

[Cidz]

All my friends moved away long ago. but at the same time I had a boyfriend that ive been with for 9 yrs >_>
sooo in a way kind of do get lonely because i miss having my friends around but thankfully for things like facebook im able to keep in touch with people better so im not completely lonely or anything.

Plus in a wierd way i kind of like having online friends or just keeping in touch with people online like PervertPrince mentioned if you dont want to talk to someone online you dont gotta. in person you can be all "oh sorry i dont want to hang out" if they come by your house or call. at least online you can just not sign on or something lol.

Also i have a variety of interests and im a pretty open minded person so as far as finding people with similar interests as me its not too hard. (heck one of my best friends loves anime like i do lol.)

[Mink]

Dammi, DaFool, now I have to go watch Lain! >8C Also, why not just get a Real Doll? You can customize them and everything! And there are males which can also be customized, so if you ever have like, $3000 to just spend...

Also, I'm not a very sociable person to begin with, so being alone doesn't bother me. I mean, I don't go all out of my way to avoid people or stay in my house, only emerging for food or yelling at kids to get off my lawn or something, but I don't exactly go out my way to meet people, either.

I'll be upset if I can't find a date to my sister's wedding, though. >x<

[Aiurax]

I'm one of those kinds of people that can text someone I haven't spoken to in years and then strike up a conversation like we were only talking yesterday. But I think that's just up to my lack of time-keeping; the people on the other end might be utterly bewildered for all I know.
Although I don't usually take the initiative to keep in contact with my friends; I still consider them my friends.

I know this may sound harsh, but if you feel that you're having a hard time relating to people, why not try a pet?
Pets are wonderful, they won't become impatient or cold towards you (unless mistreated, but I don't think you'd do that), they'll always be happy to see you and they'll raise your confidence.
But if you can't afford to keep one or you live somewhere that doesn't allow pets, maybe volunteering at a pet centre?
I really don't want to come across as over-stepping the boundary here. I'm just trying to help.