[WIP]Ellipse chapter 2 PLC version *up* pg3

[Adorya]

All I can say is : THANK YOU! m(_ _)m

The corrections are a big plus for me, though I don't expect more with the lenght of the next chapters, you gave me the motivation to study even more on english translation (I still slap myself for so much errors, more than one per line T_T).

Well, about the theme, I have a feeling for this "specie" because it was the theme of my very first novel long time ago, still an unfinished story but it was the trigger of my writing hobby.

This novel describe "my" version of this "monster", so don't worry about your, as it is going to be a bit different
About the choice of four arms, yes, I am going that way, and I will show it in the chapter 2. Also I tend to consider the family specie more linked with the eagle than the bat.
I worked a bit on morphological and skeletal trait, maybe I will put the rough in a future bonus collection CG.

The main menu illustration give me a quite biaised opinion for me, because of the face which contrast with the rest, but I had to put it for the sake of the story.
Also I don't know if I must shrink the white shadow to be more like FF logo, the actual size is quite nice in proportion for the image.

Though that doesn't excuse my lazy wing drawing, I searched for a way to hide-then-show them in the body art, but I just ended like the 2-ways morning background (putting the character in the center ruined the shadow-like effect).


About the blinking effect, you totally nailed it, I was thinking of that since the beginning but I toyed too much and too early with pause that I got sick of it and forgot to work on it again.

The midi ressource is very interesting, I just hope that the permission request will be granted not too late

Again, thank you very much for your advices, it make me want to do more than my best!

[Adorya]

Took me one month, not totally satisfied but oh well, sometimes you have to stop or it would be endless tweaking.
So, chapter 2 is up with few modifications to chapter 1, though not final version :

Chapter 1:

Done
- English proofreading done thanks to dizzycity.
- Changed intro as he suggested too.
- Added "splashscreen" to chapters, can't make parts to be moving together but it was done before version 5.6.1, so will wait for good exemple of layers move to learn more about it.
- Added a placeholder splashscreen, currently at the wrong place and will be removed when rolling credit snippet code will work.
- Replaced the cursor with a new one.

To do
- Lae's graphic revamp
- Add one more graphic scene

Chapter 2 features:

Done
- a savestate to jump directly to chapter 2 since no real change in chapter 1
- lot of fast zoom, pan, transition and others effects which can slow down a bit Ren'py, gomen -_-;
- placeholder music, still waiting for some authors authorization.
- disabled credit roll test, if someone can lend me a hand about it, would be happy.
- use of the new features of 5.6.1 such as layer and image text.

To do
- Crop zoomed image to lighten their weight (currently all zoomed images are premade and full size 1600x1200).
- Use better code that use less full size image.
- Set a language switch code.
- Set a rolling staff credit code.
- Divide the script file as the chapters goes on.

Chapter 3 features:

Done
- Nothing

To do
- Everything

The script is also available for debug, comments and suggestions, as well as the french language script which only differ with a less babelfished text. Switching the script should be ok, while I am working of a langage switching script.

http://rapidshare.de/files/35141551/dem ... e.zip.html

[monele]

"Too many users downloading right now"... guh :/. The better known these services are, the less performant they are ^^;

[Adorya]

Never tried to use the forum attachment because I though the archive would be too big, can I? ^^ (I only use rapidshare because it has a dl count, but I just noticed here too)

[Watercolorheart]

The upper limit on ZIP on the forum is 50 MB, if I remember correctly ...

*cry* I have no free service provider, so the sole distribution of my demo until it is finished is the LemmaSoft forums ...

Is there any place to host demos temporarily until completion?

And, no, don't say Angelfire or Geocities. The file is already 24 MB, and will only get larger as time wears on ...

-

Story-related, I totally missed the update on this one! It was the other one I really enjoyed, I look forward to messing with it and posting you my impressions.

[monele]

There, I got it, and played it ^.^... Woooooow~... I was impressed with the first chapter but this one is even longer and better ^.^ woop~. You have a great style, as much in the graphic department than the director one.

I felt really swept away when she started diving into the cave. I felt my stomach squeezed by the feeling of speed X3. The music was really well chosen for this passage too. And it seems it was somewhat synched to the action.
I also like the end for the very nice picture and character... and of course the cliffhanger ^.^

Just one more thing : unless you heavily update previous chapters, maybe you could add a little menu that lets previous viewers jump to the chapter they haven't seen. I like having chapters released one at a time, but I know it'll end up being frustrating to go through the same things again and again after a while.

Well, keep up the good work ^.^.

[Watercolorheart]

Or, with mine, I just bundle the savegame I always use to access each chapter ... since I have that problem just as much as player, but multiply it about 50x (for debug purposes) ...

So, I don't delete the savegames from persistent. But! this only works because it is a kinetic novel. ^^; ...

[monele]

Do they always work ? I never know when savegames stop working because of modifications ^^;

[Watercolorheart]

Do they always work ? I never know when savegames stop working because of modifications ^^;

They have for me, currently... the only time I ever have a break or a "skip" in the game progress, is if I change the name of the savegame to something else (like Intro->Prologue).

(I think I'm using an older 5.4 bundle before I upgrade to another Ren'Py version, because I have a feeling I'm going to be using the other board ... Ren'Py ... to solve the problems ... )

[PyTom]

Do they always work ? I never know when savegames stop working because of modifications ^^;

The quick answer is... when I feel like it. (Really, when I make a change that's reflected in the savegame, I bump the version.)

[dizzcity]

Played it,

really liked Eoly's flight scene and all the zoom and pan effects, as well as the music. And I wonder who that black-winged harpy in a blue dress is?

I was thinking about doing proofreading for this chapter too, but after reading it over again, I think what might be a best for you and the story as a whole is to go for a full French-English translation, rather that trying to proofread Babelfished text. In my edits of the first chapter, I tried to stay as much within your style of writing as possible, but it still feels awkward when read because of some sentence structures that don't translate well grammatically. A complete rewrite of the script in English by a good French-English translator would be better. (And no, I can barely understand French, unfortunately...)

About the staff credits - well, the quick and dirty method, as far as I can tell, would probably be placing them all in a background image and then doing a zoom and/or pan on the words. But I think you already know that and don't want that solution.

Are you sure you want rolling credits, though? It doesn't seem like you have enough credits to actually justify rolling them. (100+ lines, rolling is good. Credits < 20 lines, what's the point?) You could just have several still shots of bonus CGs next to a half-page full of credits, with your "Back to Main Menu" button somewhere on the screen. For example:

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y195/d ... llipse.png

And just change the picture for every new screen of credits.

But hey, if you still want to go for rolling credits, I'm not going to stop you.

-Dizzy-

EDIT: done. vv

[monele]

I actually thought of modifications in the scripts, not Ren'Py code. So what about that ? What would break a save ? A variable name change ? New labels ? Other values ?... I've always considered the slightest modification to be too risky to use saves, but... it seems it's more forgiving than I thought ^^

EDIT : dizzcity : try using the spoiler tag ^.^. Better for those who just want to see "it's nice" or other general comments but not know what's really inside ^^

[Adorya]

Thank you for reviewing my demo, I noticed already some basic errors in the translation, as well as some forgotten text in the english version (copy paste is bad when you are tired).

I know that it would be quite a task for the translation of the chapter 2, as well as the next ones which are approx of the same lenght, it's already a big step for me to be able to spot my redundant grammatical errors (my last english lesson was ..7 years ago ? ^^;).
So no biggie, especially with free online lessons now

I had put a savegame in the demo, so that mean it didn't work? I noticed that loading a savegame prior to script modification would retain the code at the time of the savegame, which is surprising.

About the credit roll, yes I though about that, what struck me is that you couldn't put show/hide/move in a python hide block, I liked the way the credit staff could be separated from the main script, but I guess I will use image instead (which require more editing, sadly).
I plan to give credit to anyone helped me, or for the original coder of the code I borrowed (language code switch, credit roll, renpy logo, etc...), and I like the "anime/film ending way" credit roll with images from the game as you suggested, so I tried...still trying

Btw I though that the about last credit would be an animated ren'py logo with eileen blinking an eye, classic style but I like this. I will ask Piroshiki for modification permission

[PyTom]

I actually thought of modifications in the scripts, not Ren'Py code. So what about that ? What would break a save ? A variable name change ? New labels ? Other values ?... I've always considered the slightest modification to be too risky to use saves, but... it seems it's more forgiving than I thought ^^

Basically, there are two things that can cause a load to fail. (And note, the load will probably succeed, it's just that the game will be unstable.)

The first is for there to be some information in the new game that wasn't in the old game. For example, say I have the following game:

Code: Select all

label start:

    e "What a great game."

    e "Too bad it's so short!"

and I save at the first line of dialogue, and then I change the game to read like:

Code: Select all

label start:

    $ answer  = 42

    e "What a great game."

    e "The answer is %(answer)d".

    e "Too bad it's so short!"

Then the game will barf when we reach the new second line, as answer isn't defined from the first game. The same principle holds for the values of fields in objects.

We could work around this by writing something like:

Code: Select all

label after_load:
     $ store.answer = getattr(store, "answer", 42)

label start:

    $ answer  = 42

    e "What a great game."

    e "The answer is %(answer)d".

    e "Too bad it's so short!"

Which gives answer a default value when it isn't present.

You also should avoid removing too much from the game. All the labels, classes, and functions found in the original game should be present in the new version.

[monele]

Alright. Sounds fair .

Actually, in the case of Magical Boutique, since I'm using classes all around, I *had* to instanciate all the base objects in a RenPy label. This way, they are always saved. The consequence of this is that when loading a game made with a prior version, it keeps all static values such as "how much does a potion of game making cost?".
The advantage of having a part in the initialization and variables saved only when there is a change is lost... but then again, they are changed pretty much all the time ^^;...

(I just thought I'd mention this in case I'm doing something wrong)

EDIT : ack, forgot this was a game thread @_@... sorry for the total offtopic...