I Will Hold Your Hand. (DEMO!)

[Pugfarts]

Intro

So last summer my wife and I were visiting some friends and I decided that I really wanted to make an otome game, and my wife and all the girls I know want me to make an otome game. So I came up with a broad idea for a game. I figured it would have to be done in flash, Which was going to take some time and effort, so I gave up for the time being. A tactical retreat.
Fast forward to two days ago, I find Renpy and suddenly everything is right in front of me and now I'm sketching out CGs and writing a script for a project that is tentatively called I Will Hold Your Hand.

What it is

The game will play out like a dating sim, in that you select what tasks you will focus on each day, and you also get opportunities to select one of the bachelors to help you. Survival isn't enough however, as the clock could very well be ticking down to an even greater cataclysm. Could all the answers be hidden in the secret underground facilities? (highly probable)
The theme isn't very gritty, and it might get dark, but not too dark. I guess my only real goal is to make the characters loveable enough that they could be considered sexy. I want to make something sexy. Sexy to girls. (if it gets far enough I might end up moving to the H boards with this.)

why I'm sharing

I don't want to run out of steam before I finish this because I really like how it's developing, which is why I need positive reinforcement from strangers. Tell me how great my crap is, and/or give me really helpful advice. My goal is to make something good enough to sell and also something that ladies think is hawt.. which is why I need lady opinions.

estimated progress

Script- intro 90% done, meat of the project maybe 5%
Actual coding- Still figuring it out as I go, but I got the meat of the coding prettymuch done! Now to get back to writing!
Sprites- redid the first set, still got a bunch of expressions and such to make.
BG art- 3 major ones done sofar
CG art- a few in progress a few done!
Music- Finished a few tracks, gonna make some more, maybe re-do the current ones.

examples to prove I'm actually doing this and for feedback

I REDID THE CHARACTER SPRITES. MORE STYLISH. EASIER TO MODIFY. EXPRESSIVE.
old art here: http://i498.photobucket.com/albums/rr34 ... prites.jpg
Those are the bachelors. I'm only having 3 because I want to actually finish this project. Are they kissable? Would you kiss them? For how long?

rough character profiles.



left- Milo. He's the acting leader of the group. He is somewhat of an intellectual and has a knack for fixing and/or constructing helpful devices for the group. He is wholly invested in learning more about the strange notes he has been finding in basements across the destroyed town. Where could the clues be pointing? Perhaps this newcomer has some insight that he lacks..

right- Odin. An easygoing guy who's main duties involve keeping the shelter from literally falling apart. Friendly and practical, he lives in the moment, and at the moment he needs more lumber, maybe you could help him find some. He seems most content when he's busy building something, but maybe he's just trying to keep his mind off something else.. Now if only he would remember to put on a shirt!

middle- Caleb. Easily flustered kuudere. He was an invading soldier in the war, but now that neither of the countries appear to exist anymore, fighting just doesn't seem to make sense. He tries to uphold the ideals of an honorable soldier, but he was never trained for this kind of situation. His main duties for the group involve keeping watch for bandits, and searching for food. He still wonders why the others trust him so much.



made a splash screen.




MADE A DEMO
IT'S RIGHT HERE. TELL ME IF IT WORKS.
things that will change by the finished game; more expressions for the protag, right now she's kind of a silent-type but I'm probably going to change that.

[Mink]

I want to make something sexy. Sexy to girls.

You realize that's a rather broad statement, right? What appeals to one person may not necessarily appeal to another.

Though either way, I'd probably play this because you've got a pretty different art style.

[Pugfarts]

I want to make something sexy. Sexy to girls.

You realize that's a rather broad statement, right? What appeals to one person may not necessarily appeal to another.

Though either way, I'd probably play this because you've got a pretty different art style.

Thank you. I think that's the reason they put so many different guys in individual otome games, but then everyone has a crush on P3's Akihiko. So I'm going for quality over quantity.

Also all girls want a cute guy to worry about them. THIS IS FACT.

[Omnificent]

Whoa son, all of these bros look pretty badass. Guy on the left reminds me of Demoman.

[Pugfarts]

Whoa son, all of these bros look pretty badass. Guy on the left reminds me of Demoman.

I've actually got a character with an eyepatch on reserve if I ever make a PLUS version of this! XP

[azureXtwilight]

C-Can you put some clothes over the middle one too? ;_; It's uncomfortable to see a man half-nekkid all the time. Ahem. Sorry.

This looks awesome though! <3 Me likey your unique art~

[Sapphi]

C-Can you put some clothes over the middle one too? ;_; It's uncomfortable to see a man half-nekkid all the time. Ahem. Sorry.

Seconding! Give that man a wife-beater! A dark gray one would probably look nice with his color scheme.

(For those who don't know: "Wife-beater" is a slang for a type of undershirt. You can tell I'm American because I don't know what else to call it )

[Auro-Cyanide]

C-Can you put some clothes over the middle one too? ;_; It's uncomfortable to see a man half-nekkid all the time. Ahem. Sorry.

Seconding! Give that man a wife-beater! A dark gray one would probably look nice with his color scheme.

(For those who don't know: "Wife-beater" is a slang for a type of undershirt. You can tell I'm American because I don't know what else to call it )

We call them singlets here. I don't know, I'm fine with half naked guys. Maybe it suits his personality? Though if he is somewhere dangerous it may be prudent to wear more clothes. I like the colour coding going on and I do like the overall art style, though personally I think they could be a little more polished/neatened without ruining the style. Mostly in the line work.

Good luck with your game

[Pugfarts]

I'll probably have at least 1 alternate costume for each of them, but I think I'm going to keep the shirt off. I'll explain it in post.

[Aleema]

I don't know, I'm fine with half naked guys.

Weird, me too.
It's okay girls, you're allowed to look. God knows the guys are looking at you.

I'm glad that these char sprites have both A) nipples, and B) crotches (though the girl's looks about the same as the guys ... fix that). Censoring anatomy is super suck, and something that bothers me when male artists draw men (that are supposed to be love interests). Also, I'm loving the sideburns, the color coding.

Problems I see: three unabashedly polite men? eh? Why are they all the same, and all polite for that matter? Is this tongue-in-cheek? This seems to be a post-apocalyptic world with, uh, another apocalypse coming. I wouldn't expect them all to be cheery. "Lovable enough to be considered sexy"? AH MY BRAIN! Sexy is what's sexy. Okay, that's not helpful. When I think "lovable" I think of a puppy or a teddy bear. Cute. And cute and sexy don't necessarily mix for me. Charming and playful, yes, definitely. But I think a lot people find poor dispositions sexy, too. Edward from Twilight isn't a gumdrop rainbow, if you know what I mean. Actually, I don't don't think either of the love interests in that series are. It's pretty angsty. If you want to do something so sweet it makes your teeth fall out, maybe a different setting would be appropriate ... I guess I don't understand how you could set the game up in such a dark time and it not actually be a dark story. Unless, of course, it's a parody or farce. And if you're interested in an 18+ rating, I would think you would want the sex to be taken seriously.

And you still have yet to tell us anything about the characters. Sexy isn't just how the guys look, it's how they act. So really, you're not giving too much information for feedback on them besides that scary line about how they're all the same. o_O

I suggest you get an actual female developer to help you on this. I'm very serious about that. Even if it's just your wife, you need someone who looks over what you're doing so that you aren't just assuming what girls want, because it's often misunderstood (big muscley guy with his shirt off isn't ideal for a lot of people) and aren't offending anyone with horrible stereotypes.

[Pugfarts]

I don't know, I'm fine with half naked guys.

Weird, me too.
It's okay girls, you're allowed to look. God knows the guys are looking at you.

I'm glad that these char sprites have both A) nipples, and B) crotches (though the girl's looks about the same as the guys ... fix that). Censoring anatomy is super suck, and something that bothers me when male artists draw men (that are supposed to be love interests). Also, I'm loving the sideburns, the color coding.

Problems I see: three unabashedly polite men? eh? Why are they all the same, and all polite for that matter? Is this tongue-in-cheek? This seems to be a post-apocalyptic world with, uh, another apocalypse coming. I wouldn't expect them all to be cheery. "Lovable enough to be considered sexy"? AH MY BRAIN! Sexy is what's sexy. Okay, that's not helpful. When I think "lovable" I think of a puppy or a teddy bear. Cute. And cute and sexy don't necessarily mix for me. Charming and playful, yes, definitely. But I think a lot people find poor dispositions sexy, too. Edward from Twilight isn't a gumdrop rainbow, if you know what I mean. Actually, I don't don't think either of the love interests in that series are. It's pretty angsty. If you want to do something so sweet it makes your teeth fall out, maybe a different setting would be appropriate ... I guess I don't understand how you could set the game up in such a dark time and it not actually be a dark story. Unless, of course, it's a parody or farce. And if you're interested in an 18+ rating, I would think you would want the sex to be taken seriously.

And you still have yet to tell us anything about the characters. Sexy isn't just how the guys look, it's how they act. So really, you're not giving too much information for feedback on them besides that scary line about how they're all the same. o_O

I suggest you get an actual female developer to help you on this. I'm very serious about that. Even if it's just your wife, you need someone who looks over what you're doing so that you aren't just assuming what girls want, because it's often misunderstood (big muscley guy with his shirt off isn't ideal for a lot of people) and aren't offending anyone with horrible stereotypes.

Thanks for the feedback. I'm still fleshing out the individual personalities for each character. It's going to be awesome don't worry.

[DaR]

Those are the bachelors. I'm only having 3 because I want to actually finish this project. I might re-do the protagonist sprite, but this is generally what they're going to look like. Are they kissable? Would you kiss them? For how long?

Popping in to say that the bachelor on the left looks kissable, but it's kind of hard to tell if I'd kiss them without knowing much about their personalities. Might be best if you alter their personalities so they aren't all polite, too... The guy on the right looks like the only unabashedly polite one to me, guy on the left looks to be too angry/serious/"Let's all survive this, listen to me" to be like that and middle guy gives me the vibe of carefree/arrogant/"Huzzah a female to flirt with, there goes my shirt."

[azureXtwilight]

I don't know, I'm fine with half naked guys.

Weird, me too.
It's okay girls, you're allowed to look. God knows the guys are looking at you.

I guess it must be because of the culture difference. >_>

[Aleema]

I guess it must be because of the culture difference. >_>

Nah, Sapphi is from the same culture as me. I think it's a huge society thing in general, though. There aren't enough half-nekkid guys in the media for you to be desensitized to it yet!

middle guy gives me the vibe of carefree/arrogant/"Huzzah a female to flirt with, there goes my shirt."

This made me giggle-snort, just FYI.

[gekiganwing]

Pugfarts, your idea has promise. Could be a creative, distinct western visual novel.

It sounds like your story will happen not long after a large disaster. When you said that it occurs in a ruin near an underground facility, I first thought of Black Mesa Research Facility. And after a minute or two, I was reminded of Arris Dome, and the factory scene which happens not long afterwards in the same game.

Also, you stated that the young woman is living near "three unabashedly polite young men." If their city/nation/world is in bad shape, then what might justify the guys being deferential? Perhaps...

* One of them is engaged or married, but he hasn't seen his significant other in quite some time. He doesn't know if he should grieve, or if he should be hopeful.
* One of them is committed to rebuilding society, and believes that it can happen.
* They have seen a lot of people die -- and they're rather surprised that she's survived the plague / the zombie apocalypse / the "Road Warrior" style bandits.
* They believe the girl has an ability which will save the world, or prevent one last disaster.
* They're afraid that she's too young for them, or that she's already in a relationship.

And you stated that one of the three guys will be a walking shirtless scene. Sounds like you have a reason for this -- perhaps it's relevant to his personality, or a plot point. It's your decision whether you put this element in your game.

If you don't know if you can (or if you don't feel comfortable) write the female lead's point of view, then be sure to ask for assistance.

One final note. I like your art style, and it's different. It reminds me of an indie comic or webcomic, but I can't think of a specific one...