Lemma Soft Forums

I don't know if this'll make you feel better or not, Shinoki, but I've gotta say that I admire you for keeping your shit together way better than I have. My grades this year have been slowly slipping, which has de-motivated me to fix them, which causes them to slip even further... you get the idea. I ended up with a D in band last semester. In BAND.

But the point is, as tough as I'm sure it is to keep everything together, I hope you know that a random internet person is proud of you and admires your hard work. I wish I could follow your example and buckle down even when things get rough. c:

Well. My new PC is great, but it's already getting louder when it's on. I guess I can live with that. But my main issue is my tablet still not working the way I want it to. Even Wacom support is stumped...

Other than that... the root of my issues lately has been solitude. None of my friends seem to have time for me. I get turned down when I approach them, and they never approach me first. I'm surrounded by people but I might as well not be there because I'm effectively invisible. I have this bad reflex of isolating myself in the hopes that someone will reach out to me (which is manipulative behavior, I know), but no one has done so yet, and I feel guilty for reading too deeply into inconsequential things and jumping to conclusions. No matter how much someone can try to remind me that I matter to them, I can never take their word for it. It really sucks not being able to trust the people you care about the most.

So that leads me to overthinking and having meltdowns regularly and doing stupid things that I always regret afterwards. I'm too distracted by my thoughts that I can't bring myself to work on anything, so I'm effectively just wasting time.

Feels bad, man.

@Evy : What's the spec of your new PC?
If the loud sound came from the Processor/GPU Fans, you can actually reduce their speed to make them quiet (or at least less distracting). Just check the setting in your PC's BIOS and GPU/VGA card's software (find "PWM value" or something that's related to fan speed/rpm)

About friends... they're more like luxuries than needs.
Like a cup of coffee that you enjoyed whenever you go to the cafe.
It's good to have them, but don't rely on them. You can still live without coffee...

Zelan wrote:

I wish I could give you an actual hug right now but that's the closest I can get from over here. :c If you need to talk to someone my inbox is open, as is this thread. <3

Thank you <333

I need to do another venting post because I'm pretty sure everyone on my twitter is bored of it already but

The only reason why mom ever talks to me is for me to play psychologist to my older sister. i dont say "parents" because dad never talks to me so that point is moot.
theyve been in saudi for a year. i should be used to being neglected like this but im crynig over it again and frankly this ruined my day

A "little" pet peeve of mine - why is it that when you try to start a conversation to some people, but then they reply to it with something completely off-topic to what you're saying, as if they're ignoring what you're saying? For example:

Me: I feel like I should cut back on so-and-so a bit.
Him: Oh, I'm giving away so-and-so action figures. Are you interested?
Me: Uh... no?
*then I try to continue what I'm saying but he replies again with a different topic*

There's also something like:

Me: I'd like to get blah-blah-blah someday.
Her: How are you're parents doing?

I mean, really? I want to talk about something and then he/she suddenly changes it to something else?

thebackup wrote:A "little" pet peeve of mine - why is it that when you try to start a conversation to some people, but then they reply to it with something completely off-topic to what you're saying, as if they're ignoring what you're saying? For example:

Me: I feel like I should cut back on so-and-so a bit.
Him: Oh, I'm giving away so-and-so action figures. Are you interested?
Me: Uh... no?
*then I try to continue what I'm saying but he replies again with a different topic*

There's also something like:

Me: I'd like to get blah-blah-blah someday.
Her: How are you're parents doing?

I mean, really? I want to talk about something and then he/she suddenly changes it to something else?

I could give a long, drawn out explination, but it would likely end up with me going way off topic.

It tends to come down to one of two things.

a) The person does want to talk to you, but feels like they have nothinnng they can contribute to what it is you are wanting to talk about at the time,

or

b) They are uncomfortable with that topic and would prefer to avoid it for some reason.

There is also the occasional

C) That they feel you have been avoiding something that is stressing you out, and want to help talk you through it,
but this one only really comes from those close to you, and tends to be much rare of a motive.

This is just my experiences on the matter, so take it with a grain of salt.

mard wrote:I could give a long, drawn out explination, but it would likely end up with me going way off topic.

It tends to come down to one of two things.

a) The person does want to talk to you, but feels like they have nothinnng they can contribute to what it is you are wanting to talk about at the time,

or

b) They are uncomfortable with that topic and would prefer to avoid it for some reason.

There is also the occasional

C) That they feel you have been avoiding something that is stressing you out, and want to help talk you through it,
but this one only really comes from those close to you, and tends to be much rare of a motive.

This is just my experiences on the matter, so take it with a grain of salt.

I certainly don't mind an "oh really? good luck / that sucks" or similar response even if the topic is going to be short and they have nothing much to contribute, as opposed to suddenly changing the topic. I just find it really rude. I mean, I just started the conversation, and they have the audacity to change it right off the bat? *shrugs*

Don't get me wrong, the people I talk to are great people. But it happens *a lot*. While in the points you've mentioned I don't think it's b) as the topics tend to be light and casual that won't make most people uncomfortable, or c), though some of a) might be involved - it seems like they're just happy to talk to you and overly eager to get their words out to you, that what you're trying to say is just blah-blah-blah, and that their topic is far more "interesting" than what you're trying to say.

Sometimes, I just feel like walking out of the conversation in protest when they do that. Again, very rude to the conversation starter.

Today.... My drawing tablet finally died on me.... It's a Genius Easy Pen tablet, really cheap... The screen protector (or if one can even call it that, whatever, the very first surface) got scratched and got torn off and from then on, my tablet won't work anymore... I can use it as a mouse, but it gets delayed and I can't use it for drawing...

TLDR, my very first drawing tablet is gone for good... the very first drawing tablet I saved money for, since I'm still a student and my parents are not the ones to buy stuff for their kids.... Now my soul is lost, wandering around, don't know how to live anymore... exagg

@Catlip Candy : if the pen is still working, you can try to replacing the tablet surface with an acrylic sheet (or any thin, hard plastic sheet that you can find). I've been covering my Wacom tablet's surface with something (thick art paper, plastic sheet, etc) to make it scratch-resistant.

indoneko wrote:@Catlip Candy : if the pen is still working, you can try to replacing the tablet surface with an acrylic sheet (or any thin, hard plastic sheet that you can find). I've been covering my Wacom tablet's surface with something (thick art paper, plastic sheet, etc) to make it scratch-resistant.

Thanks for the tips! But I actually made it work again! I thought it was the screen protector that's the problem but it was only just the plastic cover that got removed, not necessarily the screen protector! And that cover should've been removed long ago when I bought it a few months before! Stupid me, I even rolled my own eyes at me but anyways, I'm happy now

SCRIPTING IN LINES IS SO BORING!!!!!!

You know that moment you're so close to finish your game's script, you can almost taste it... but the finalisations are quite tedious... in fact, being so close to done often makes it all the more torturous. Just a little more... I can do this... it'll be worth it...

I don't wanna get olderrrr noooo T_T

I wish I didn't get sick so easily, I resent my body for it. Just when I think I'm healthy again, another problem arises and all of a sudden I'm at the bottom again. I try not to get too depressed about it, but it's so hard to stay up, and be positive about living. I'm young, which just makes it all the more irritating because I'm already having these physical health problems.

... and I lost a cellphone.
I don't really care about it's value, but now I'm worried about my house's security since the thief managed to steal it without breaking our door & window. I mean, how did they do that? o_o

Honestly? I've had a rough few months. I found out some bad news two days before Christmas, and more a week or so later just before my birthday (two days before it as well which I find hilariously ironic).

I struggle to find the motivation to get out of bed most days and 90% of my waking thoughts tend to lead back to death and then eventually killing myself. I constantly moved around with my family until a few years ago, so I have no proper friends and I have so many personality problems I'm acutely aware of I see no point in dragging anyone else down to my level just because I need someone to talk to every now and then. Even gaming which was my main source of fun and escapism has lost it's flair because I'm bored and too broke to have bought a new game in months.

Outside of just posting funny stuff/my own jokes on social media and writing/developing my games I don't really have much keeping me going rn. But on the plus side it got me off my ass and I've been writing consistently every day for the first time in almost a year.

Apologies for the mood killer, I just needed an outlet for this right now that wasn't angrily wanting to punch my computer because my code messed up again lol.