The Abandoned Land (Fantasy, KN)

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Shad12ow
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The Abandoned Land (Fantasy, KN)

#1 Post by Shad12ow »

Hello there, this is my first VN, so please bear with me. I am still starting on this VN, but the story itself have been my personal hobby for quite some time. So, here is the info for this VN.

Title : The Abandoned Land

Description:
“Well, I thought today was going to be just another day of the week. Little that I known today mark the day that changed the way I live my life.”
“That sentence may seem too exaggerating coming from me. But an extreme expression suits an extreme condition, don’t you think so?”

The world we live in look quite mundane, but who knows that in this world, there are also gates to another world. Zerdow, an average college student, is drawn into one of this world by accident, or is it? The world where strange creatures live and where magic become a reality. In this world, he held the role of "The one this land awaits". Follow his adventure and meeting against many character there.

Character:
Zerdow (Main Protagonist)
"My name is Zerdow I don’t have a last name. Don’t ask me why. I’ve asked the same thing once when I was still a little boy and my mother answer is that "it is much easier this way"."

Koharu Kojima
"I am not used to sit on the chair. And I am just another employee in this mansion. It is improper for to me sit on the same level as an honored guest such as yourself."

Scarlet
"Don’t’ slack off now, the flowerbeds need to be taken care properly. It’s almost their season to bloom."

Dante Shautfell Carollo
"As I said before, I’m not like that at all. What is up with people making up a crazy story like that?"

Tyrus Zigward
"My bat and my eyes can only see what is skin deep. Matter that’s personal or related to one’s mind is hard to be investigated. It doesn’t mean I can’t do it."

Celena von Ricksthon
"Yes, but beside taking care soldier, they have knowledge in how to make medicine from local plant. I think the two of them can give a lot of help"

Veronica von Grishorn
"Yes, good morning. This is my daily routine. I do this daily to prevent my technique getting rusty."

Crew:
Shad12ow : Programmer, Writer, GUI Designer
lycheechan : Char Concept ( inactive)
Hazel-Bun : Sprite Artist
squark : Proofreader

Status:
Story : 100% (Proofread, Edited, Done for now.)
Script : 50%
GUI : 100% (Title, Menu, Save Load, Textbox, Preference, and Quick Menu. All working.)
Concept art : 10% (A few sprite concept art has been completed)
Sprites : 0%
CGs : 0%
Music : 50% (Collect enough public domain music, but still need to choose which music goes where.)

Statistics:
The game contains 805 screens of dialogue.
These screens contain a total of 6,488 words,
for an average of 8.1 words per screen.
The game contains 0 menus.

The screenshot for now is attached.
Image Image Image

Image Image Image

And I'll upload a demo that played until the end of chapter1, although chapter 1 still only introduce the main character and story behind it.
Demo :
-25-11-2012-
http://www.mediafire.com/?rwbz3x5mr913bwr (Win)
http://www.mediafire.com/?f9xsdymkdbm6i1d (Mac)

Update 25-11-2012:
Here's the updated and compressed demo. Well, it is only until Chapter 1 though. I'll update the demo as soon as I finished Chapter 2.
Update 13-06-2013:
Finally an update! Wohoo!
Okay first, the script has been proofread courtesy of squark. Please give him/her a loud round of applause for the hard work!
And second, the concept art for first 3 character is here! It is Zerdow the protagonist, Koharu the kunoichi, and Scarlet the elven maid. The pictures are below.
Image Image Image
Well, it seems the time to release another demo is near.

Update 20-06-2013:
Okay another sprite sketch is done. It is Dante, the Shadow Island original ruler.
Image

Please give me your comment.
I'm sure it still has a long way to go.
Once again thank you for reading this and good luck to all of you out there!
Last edited by Shad12ow on Wed Jun 19, 2013 8:17 pm, edited 19 times in total.

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miaverana
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Re: The Abandoned Land (Fantasy, KN)

#2 Post by miaverana »

A common plot, a human finds a way to another world full of magic then become the chosen one, but I like it. Good luck with your project~ ^w^

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Shad12ow
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Re: The Abandoned Land (Fantasy, KN)

#3 Post by Shad12ow »

miaverana wrote:A common plot, a human finds a way to another world full of magic then become the chosen one, but I like it. Good luck with your project~ ^w^
Oh yeah! One of the comment I'm waiting to hear. Hehehe...
Call me crazy, but that is really what I want to hear, no sarcasm there, hehehe...
Thank you, good luck to you too.
I need an artist for this though. Will look for one. or two, or three.

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Shad12ow
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Re: The Abandoned Land (Fantasy, KN)

#4 Post by Shad12ow »

Finally on the WIP Forum now!
Well, the work is going quite smoothly.
The artist has gave me her concept design for Koharu.
Very nice, I like it. Post it when she has finished the character entirely.
Thank you all...

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Re: The Abandoned Land (Fantasy, KN)

#5 Post by Shad12ow »

Updated the first post!
Demo until 1st Chapter is on.
Still no character sprite though and the BG still used photo.

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Re: The Abandoned Land (Fantasy, KN)

#6 Post by Anna »

Wow, 162MB for a demo, isn't that a bit big? Did you compress anything? I'm just wondering since this means the final thing might become huge.

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Re: The Abandoned Land (Fantasy, KN)

#7 Post by Shad12ow »

Anna wrote:Wow, 162MB for a demo, isn't that a bit big? Did you compress anything? I'm just wondering since this means the final thing might become huge.
Yeah, forgot about that. :lol:
I'll reupload the compressed file later.
Sorry about that,everyone.
And thank you for reminding me there. Really appreciate it.

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Re: The Abandoned Land (Fantasy, KN)

#8 Post by Shad12ow »

Updated with the compressed file.
It is still 100++Mb in size.

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Re: The Abandoned Land (Fantasy, KN)

#9 Post by AxemRed »

Didn't have time to read through all of it, but here are some remarks after reading through the first 10 minutes or so:
- Text needs more padding on the left
- Textbox has a distracting black line at the top
- Sprites seem too small for the resolution
- I've heard (almost) every single bit of music in at least one other VN
- You switch between present and past tense -a lot-, often within the same sentence.
- Preferences screen isn't accessible from the right-click menu
- Selected items are dark, unselected items are light? --Should be the other way around.
- You can save 30MB by going to 192kbps MP3, 35MB with 160kbps Ogg/Vorbis
- You can save 20MB by using JPEG for your backgrounds

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Shad12ow
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Re: The Abandoned Land (Fantasy, KN)

#10 Post by Shad12ow »

AxemRed wrote:Didn't have time to read through all of it, but here are some remarks after reading through the first 10 minutes or so:
- Text needs more padding on the left
- Textbox has a distracting black line at the top
- Sprites seem too small for the resolution
- I've heard (almost) every single bit of music in at least one other VN
- You switch between present and past tense -a lot-, often within the same sentence.
- Preferences screen isn't accessible from the right-click menu
- Selected items are dark, unselected items are light? --Should be the other way around.
- You can save 30MB by going to 192kbps MP3, 35MB with 160kbps Ogg/Vorbis
- You can save 20MB by using JPEG for your backgrounds
Ah, very good!
Thank you for the input. Really what I need. :lol:
I will improve it later on.
Once again, thank you for the input. :D

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Shad12ow
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Re: The Abandoned Land (Fantasy, KN)

#11 Post by Shad12ow »

AxemRed wrote: - Text needs more padding on the left
Done! (I hope that is enough.)
AxemRed wrote: - Textbox has a distracting black line at the top
Done!
AxemRed wrote: - Preferences screen isn't accessible from the right-click menu
Done! Changed it already!
AxemRed wrote: - Selected items are dark, unselected items are light? --Should be the other way around.
Done!
AxemRed wrote: - You can save 30MB by going to 192kbps MP3, 35MB with 160kbps Ogg/Vorbis
- You can save 20MB by using JPEG for your backgrounds
Compressed it all! Done. Now it is less than 100Mb.

Well, the rest is still on progress. So do wait until I've done with it.
I've uploaded the edited one again.

Thank you AxemRed! Really appreciate it.
If anyone find any more error, please tell me. I would be happy to hear that from all of you.

Thank you and good luck all...

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Re: The Abandoned Land (Fantasy, KN)

#12 Post by Shad12ow »

Ah, now I'm in need of a character artist. lycheechan is too busy with her study, so she wants to concentrate on that.
I hope and I'll pray that her study goes well.
Well, still waiting for the script to be proofread.
Thank you all and good luck to you all...

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Re: The Abandoned Land (Fantasy, KN)

#13 Post by Shad12ow »

Finally an update! Wohoo!
Okay first, the script has been proofread courtesy of squark. Please give him/her a loud round of applause for the hard work!
And second, the concept art for first 3 character is here! It is Zerdow the protagonist, Koharu the kunoichi, and Scarlet the elven maid. The pictures are below.
Image Image Image
Well, it seems the time to release another demo is near.
So thank you and good luck to all of you out there!

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Re: The Abandoned Land (Fantasy, KN)

#14 Post by squark »

Heh, it was long and hard work, but I'm glad to have done it ^^
I don't think I've every proofread anything that long; it was a great exercise in time management :P
Anyway, if anyone finds any errors in the corrections, I'll fix it up.

*looks at the first post* That must be Koharu in her off-duty wear. I don't think I'e ever heard of a Kunoichi wearing a yukata. Hazel-Bun and lycheechan do excellent work :)
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Shad12ow
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Re: The Abandoned Land (Fantasy, KN)

#15 Post by Shad12ow »

squark wrote:Heh, it was long and hard work, but I'm glad to have done it ^^
I don't think I've every proofread anything that long; it was a great exercise in time management :P
Anyway, if anyone finds any errors in the corrections, I'll fix it up.
Thank you very much! They are very good and I didn't see anything wrong with the script at all.
May I interest you in the second book? Hehehe... :lol:
squark wrote: *looks at the first post* That must be Koharu in her off-duty wear. I don't think I'e ever heard of a Kunoichi wearing a yukata. Hazel-Bun and lycheechan do excellent work :)
Yeah, Hazel-Bun is a great artist. And I have to say that the art have improved so much.
Oh, never see a kunoichi wearing a yukata? Try playing Shogun Total War. You'll see a kunoichi dressed as a Geisha. Hahaha... :lol:
Sadly, I can't work with lycheechan for now. I didn't post her art here, but believe me, they are excellent too. :mrgreen:

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