Friendship Episode 1: Caught in Between (KN)

[Luminar]

I'll be making a KN (Kinetic Novel). Because if I tried making one with choices, I'll most likely fail. This is just episode one, So yeah, there'll be a second one. This is my first VN and I'm thinking this as a challenge.

This story revolves around Aori, she just transfered to a new school and made some friends... The cheerful Haru, the mature Miyu, the blunt Saiko and the beautiful Fuyumi. In this episode, our heroine is caught in between and has to choose between her fellow friends. Follow her in her adventure about friendship! And maybe some romance!!

Characters

Aori:
Her mom's a half American while her father is a Japanese. That explains her Japanese name and her blonde hair. She's a friendly girl, she wants to forget everything about her old school and start new memories with the students in her new school...


Haru:
The first person to talk to Aori, someone that's really friendly. Haru's a cheerful person, seems to always hang around with Fuyumi and Saiko.


Miyu:
A mature and calm girl, she doesn't smile that much but she will show her cheerful side sometimes, when necessary... A person whom Aori respects because of her courage.


Saiko:
Someone who treats Haru badly, seems to hate Haru so much for some paticular reason. Aori don't mind being her friend, but gets sad whenever she and Haru fights...


Fuyumi:
A ballerina, she's quite a beauty. Seems to dislike Haru even though Haru treats her nicely. She really likes to hang out with Saiko. Just like Saiko, Aori don't mind being her friend, but is uncomfortable if the both of them starts quarelling...

Game progress:
Story: 100%
Script 80% (I still need time to add the sprites that will be done in the future)
Sprites: 20%
Aori: 18/18
Miyu: 9/?? (not sure how many in total)
Haru: 7/??
Saiko 1/??
Fuyumi: 1/??
BG: 100% (From some free resources)
BGM: 0% (Currenty searching for free ones..)
SFX: 0%

I'm kind of looking forward to finishing this game~! It's my first one and it's kind of based on my experience... Well, I did add some things to make it more interesting, though!

[chocojax]

Art: You seem to keep a steady hand with the mouse. O: That I'm assuming that you're using a mouse, lol. A thing that you might want to keep in the future though is using a harder brush to draw outlines for a subject.

Kinda wondering what's happening between them, and why Saiko treats Haru badly. x:
And so far, I like Fuyumi, because she sounds beautiful?? Lol.

Good luck with finishing the rest of the sprites. ovo /! Pace yourself!

[Luminar]

Art: You seem to keep a steady hand with the mouse. O: That I'm assuming that you're using a mouse, lol. A thing that you might want to keep in the future though is using a harder brush to draw outlines for a subject.

Kinda wondering what's happening between them, and why Saiko treats Haru badly. x:
And so far, I like Fuyumi, because she sounds beautiful?? Lol.

Good luck with finishing the rest of the sprites. ovo /! Pace yourself!

Haha, thanks. Yes, I use mouse. You sure have great guessing skills! Hmm... I'll keep that in mind! Thanks! Hehe, you'll know, soon. Though, the reason is quiet weird. Haha, really? I try to imagine her as beautiful as possible while writing her character... LOL.

Thanks!! Will do!

[Luminar]

I've done Miyu's sprite, don't think she looks mature? Yeah, I got the same feeling too... I wonder if it's the eyes... Plus, I think I made her look fat ... Sorry...

[chocojax]

Yeaah, it's probably because of how calm her eyes look. And I don't think she looks fat. x: Though, her hands should be reaching down to halfway down her thighs, to be proportionally correct. :v!

[Luminar]

Ah... I see. Thanks for pointing that out. Luckily, I have time to edit her sprite... I made her eyes... smaller? (I guess that's the word?) I also made her hands lower abit.... Hopefully, this way, she fits the description of being a mature girl... :/ But I'm not quite sure yet, though....

[miaverana]

Sorry for stalking this late ^w^.
Maybe you should make her body and her arms longer :3 (I think). Her face doesn't fit her short body ^^".

[Luminar]

It's okay... hmm... yeah... no wonder I got the feeling that she was fat... Ahaha.... *Sweatdrops* Thanks for telling me what you think... *Sigh* I guess it's time to edit!! This time, I'm going to make sure I'm satisfied with her sprite... Plus, I'm going to try and finish all the sprites first. And then, I'll post it... That way, I can progress faster... I hope :3

[miaverana]

Maybe you should post all the sketches first, then people will give you critiques, after that, you'll fix the sketches and if you're pleased with them, you will come to lineart and coloring so that you won't waste too much time fixing things :3.

[Luminar]

Hmm... That's... not a bad idea!! Seriously, thanks so much for giving me advices~! You're really like a senpai to me!

[miaverana]

You're welcome~ (And you're making me blush >///.///<). Good luck with finishing your sprites~ I will look forward to the sketches from you :3.

[Luminar]

My senpai advised me to post the sketch so that it would be easier to edit if soemone's pointing out the mistake~~ But... you see... I don't really do sketches... I just skip to the lineart... so I'm posting the lineart first~ This is Haru's sprite~ I kind of liked how Haru turned out... :3

[miaverana]

My senpai advised me to post the sketch so that it would be easier to edit if soemone's pointing out the mistake~~ But... you see... I don't really do sketches... I just skip to the lineart... so I'm posting the lineart first~ This is Haru's sprite~ I kind of liked how Haru turned out... :3

Sorry for my late reply TT^TT. You should move her head to the right a little (just a little :3), and move her legs to the left ^^", she looks like she's leaning to the left. Shorten her face or push her eyes down a little and lift her lips up will make her younger (and cuter? :3).

[chocojax]

Normally, eyes are on the halfway mark from the top of the head to down to the chin. x:
Legs are a little bit too thin, you could make them a little bit wider to support her balance more. c:
Her eyes are cute!huge, and I like her hairstyle. Qt. :v
You can also flip the canvas to check the balance, since she is kinda leaning like miaverana said. :v

[Luminar]

Hmm... I see... I've made the legs wider just a little bit... Yeah, I can see it after flipping it... Hmm...Okay~~ Did it! And wow, it does makes her younger and cuter! Thanks!!